Hey /b share your fighting stories? (All fighting stories are

my buddy caught a manslaughter charge when he fought and killed his uncle...

>>555538423
You have my interest.

Continue.

Story about how I broke my knuckles? This one is kinda personal may seem boring but really means a. Lot to mr

Nothing interesting, got beat up a lot by older cousins as a kid. Well not really beat up, they'd just like throw rocks at my head and sucker punch me then run away.

Other than that my step-dad tried to pin my neck against the wall and I threw him down the stairs and started choking him with my forearm until he let me go.

kicked my mate in the balls and he fell on the ground crying and called me a bitch

this is when we were like 14

am I the only one that thought the pic was a pussy?

Fucking illegal peso niggers.

>>555539195
i got excited thought it was seapea

>>555539057
Whatever you're comfortable with sharing

When I was 14 I choked out a fucker who thought it'd be funny to punch me right in the knob.
Other than that, then I was 15 some dumb cunt tried to start shit because I made out with her sister and she punched me in the face. I slammed her face into a pole a couple times.
>that feel when you didn't get tight 14 year old pussy because you broke her sister

>>555538423

Should've curbed the spic just like American History X.

>>555538423
>Be 15
>Cocky Highschool faggot with lots of friends
>Seem some other highschool faggot wearing golden gloves t-shirt
>Figured he was just a poser wearing his brothers shirt
>Talk a bunch of shit to him in the halls, no reaction
>See him out by the front steps after school
>Walk up to him and talk more shit
>Throw punch
>Parried
>Counter punch incoming
>Oh shi-
>Knocked down but not out
>Helps me up and asks me if i am alright
>Say yes
>Start talking

We became friends after that, he told me about the gym he trains at and i started to taking boxing a few weeks later. First time getting my ass whooped, also a 1 punch whooping. This experience humbled me quite a bit.

>>555538423
>Walking down the street one night
>See bro I fucking hate
>"Hey bitchass!" he yells
>I go over "what did you say"
>"You heard what I said retard"
>He says "Oh yeah?"
>More shittalking, pushing, suddenly
>He throws a punch straight for my face, I jump back and he staggers
>I start laughing because he looks so fuckin dumb
>Now he's pissed
>Starts getting in close, trying to lay some blows in, I just have my arms up
>His face gets just a bit too close and I whip an elbow straight into his nose
>Can tell I broke it
>He immediately shouts and covers his face
>Jab and cross to his stomach
>Doubles over
>I push him over and leave
He had a good twenty pounds on me too

A few years back working at an oil shop
>grandfather just died suddenly because an operation went completely sideways (fuck interns)
>bummed out all day at work, not really talking to anyone
>fucking faggot coworker comes over
<This guy is so stupid he thinks hes a genius, i shit you not.
>"what's the matter, asshole, your boyfriend not in the mood last night?"
>just shrug him off and don't say anything, just wasn't feeling it that day
>eventually somebody asks me why I'm down today
>tell them the whole story,pretty torn up over this, grandpa was a total bro, we worked on old cars and made potato guns and all sorts of shit
>faggot coworker hears
>starts talking shit about my grandpa
>ignore him, the boss might tell him to shut up and I can keep my shit job one more day
>oil change shop BTW
>he comes over and asks
>I know he already knows but i tell him so he'd at least fuck off
>he starts laughing
"Boy, his lung was punctured? I thought he had another one!"
>something like that
>fucking lose it, smash his head off the air filter rack and punch the living fuck out of his face
>his nose was previously broken from him being a faggot carnie
>fix that for him
>boss comes around the corner
>I'm drowning him in the mop bucket
>callthecopsidontgiveafuck.jpg
>he pulls me off and seperates us
>faggot coworker is legitimately bleeding from both nostrils and his mouth, forehead and shit too
>we tell our sides of the story, I didn't care anymore, didn't lie about how i was trying to drown him
>He send faggot coworker home, lets me stay for the rest of the day
>next week, faggot gets fired
I got what was left of his paycheck he didnt make
Boss was a pretty cool guy

>>555539785
Was this is America? I knew someone who got some jail time because he had to punch some chick in self defense, even though she had a knife, she also played the victim.

>>555540908
Faggot had what was coming, but holy shit you got off amazing. Could've gone south real bad

>>555540908
forgot to mention 90% of it was on the security cameras (cameras are there so people cant claim we fucked something up if we actually didn't)

>>555541216
This happened in Arkansas so the women know how to fight.
She lost and didn't play victim.
The honorable way, etc etc

Alright first some backround
> mom is middle aged lonely women, works 2 jobs father abandoned us when I was born
> she's really bad at picking boyfriends
> new boyfriend 23 year old leech white motherfucker, smokes, drinks, crystal, spice, fucking idiot jobless lil bitch, named james
> moves in, try to tell my mom he's no good but comes out with "you can't let me be happy?" "He at least cares about me not like your father" blah blah
> moves in no job. Hes a bitch blah
> I'm 15 my bro is 18
> faggot starts getting comfy. Starts yelling at my mom, try to intervene mom gets mad cries, he says "I make your mom happy fuck off she'd pick me over you anyway blah blah"
> fast forward fuck it didn't go to school. Moms at work brother is cooking neither know I'm home
> hear noise from kitchen
> bro is a pro boxer his stupid license forbids him from fighting or like 29yrs jail time fuck, mom's bf knows this shit
> walk into kitchen bf hitting my brother with a frying pan really a frying pan?
> no hesitation grab the bastard drop him wail on him, bleeding, bruising don't give a fuck
> finally "alright bri chill chill you win I'm sorrty just please stop "
> gets up starts walking to my moms room
> " faggot you punch like a girl, you only dropped me out of luck"
>" oh yeah?" Run at him grab him by the throat swing a couple good ones at his face..
> he gets loose, runs to restroom in mom's room
> gets inside turns around to close door, give him a clean one in the face, he falls into the bathtub, nose bleeding. Starts crying like a little bitch
> brother grabs me off "that's enough"
> police arrive, explain take him away
> mom threatening to kick me out blah blah idgf
> a month later court letter he pressed charges on my brother tried to say my brother gave him the concussion thr bruiese etc.
> he loses case don't see him for a couple months, comes back
Continue? ??

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>>555540357
Thats some Hajime no Ippo shit right there

>>555540908
Bro-tier Boss >>555541320
Even Heaven agrees

>>555540357
so were you no longer an edgy nigger faggot after that?

>>555540908
kid sounds like a huge faggot. sorry about your grandpa i know the feel.

>>555541467
You've got my attention.

Goon, if you will.

>>555541467
Continue anon

>>555540775
>things that didn't happen.

>>555540908
10/10

captcha: 10/1

>>555540357
faggot as fuck

>>555540908
never happened

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>be me, 13
>not the most popular kid in middle school
>reclusive, still picked on
>had to take steroids to save eyesight in left eye
>chubby 'cause puberty makes me eat like a pig, steroids make it worse
>don't really care that people pick on me
>never touch me, just say dumb shit and try to intimidate
>typical shit, doesn't bug me
>one day after science
>two kids starin', whispering conspiratorially
>suspicious, but not too worried
>head downstairs
>halfway down
>spit in hair
>turn around, warn them of impending bodily harm
>they laugh
>continue to descend stairs, halfway
>spit in hair again
>wheel around immediately
>grab the kid that spit in my hair twice now
>the look of shock on his face is gratifying
>throw him down the other half of the stairs
>his cries of pain are equally gratifying
>descend down to his level, kick him while he's down
>kid not good at fighting, neither am i
>he charges
>i doj
>throws himself right into jock in fight congregation
>breaks jock's gold necklace
>jock kicks his ass for me
>grab my backpack and haul ass out of there before teachers arrive

It was a good day. I've got more, too. Needless to say, I drew the line that day. Words are fine. Actions are met with physical harm.

>>555538423
>Be 13 hanging out with friends at the local church parking lot at 11 p.m. skateboarding and what not
>2 girls at the school 4-5 years older at the school by the church on the swings
>start trying to talk to them
>they tell us to fuck off so we jokingly tell them to fight us
>on of them comes over to us and immediately starts shoving and hitting us etc
>she pins the shortest one of us against the fence and starts threatening to curb stomp him
> out of nowhere he punches her in the jaw
>she lets go and he shoves her on the ground
>grabs her by the hair and fucking pimp slaps her about a dozen times
>shes crying and we threaten to rape her if she doesn't fuck off
>we chill at the church for a little while more
>hear a car pull up to the church
>about 5 kids who are probably seniors/juniors jump out
>panicmode.jpg
>we all sprint to my house thats about 1/2 a mile from the church
>we get there and lock the doors
>little while later their car pulls up
>we grab his dad's gun and some baseball bats, she told her friends
>point the shotgun at the driver and they speed the fuck out of the neighborhood
>tfw we never even got questioned by the police

>Be me, 5 years ago grade 8.
>Us grade 8s hated those douchy grade 7s
>Walked home everyday infront of douchy swagfag grade 7s
>One grade 7 decides to show off to other friends
>Dumbass 7 runs up behind me screaming something I would have heard from a viking battle
>He punches me in the shoulder then looks at me when I barely react.
>Ultimate fear in his eyes knowing he won't like this
>I punch him in the face and kick him in the stomach.
>Walk away leaving him face dirt in the snow.
>Felt badass
>Felt anime.

>be 17
>out with some friends and some other people I barely know
>one of them is this little guy with an attitude
>he hits like a bitch
>talking about fights and stuff
>they ask me who I think I could take in a fight amongst them
>mentions a few obvious ones and the little guy
>they ask why him
>I say it like it is
>one of them runs and tattles
>he comes to show me what for
>he swings with no momentum, no real power in his punches
>half-assed dodges and a few landed pointless hits later and I get bored
>tell him to stop because he can't fight
>he keeps swinging
>grab both his arms, throw myself backwards with my foot on his gut
>throw him over and past me, basic jujutsu shit
>everyone speechless
>berates me for doing something so dangerous

I do feel bad for it now that I'm older, he could have broken his neck in the fall, or at least gotten seriously injured.

Dat flawless healthcare doe

>>555539870
It was a nigger in the movie tho

>>555543290
>felt anime
Top kek

>>555543980
It's all the same bro

If you act like a thug, you deserve to get beaten on

Be 16 fresh (turned 16 like a week or so ago at the time)
> In school, 4th period
> text msg it's my brother
> wtf he never texts me whats up?
> "hey bro james is over here again, idk they're not fighting or anything but I don't trust him, I'm going to work in a bit think you can come home early?"
> Fucking rage, "omw"
> walk out, teacher "where you going?" Say nothing walk
> KEEP walking jump over fence. Hop into the Silverado peel out
> get home hear screaming from outside
> walk in, mom is washing clothes in kitchen (washer in kitchen poor as shit remember?)
> Hes standing over her, yelling yanking at her collar
>Fuck no. Run up, clean one in the face, he staggers, falls on counter
> WTF? Aren't you supposed to be at school?" Just swing at him in middle of sentence, mom is crying trying to defend him
> he ducks, grabs me by my waist, he's bigger and older remember?
> House is a mess, fuck fall ovee he's on top of me, "fuck im finished if I don't get him off..."
> Grab his head, pull it down, push his stomach out with my legs, thrust as hard as I can, he flys over, he kicks the soap bucket
> shit goes in my eyes, "FUCK"!!
> can't see shit, but just start fucking swinging crazy, make contact, keep hiitting him, mom outside crying calling cops can hear her
> Just absolutely annihilating him can tell
> he falls in his ass, I lean in, start elbowing the fucker because hands were hurting
> mom comes in pulls me off t
> "there there that's enough he had enough!!" Broken nose, bruised face swollen eyes,
> fucking angry I only have a few scratches and bruises, fuck it, leave wash soap out my eyes outside waterhose
> Mom "the cops are coming just go, leave I'll make something up"
> She was on my side this time I cry but drive off, " fuck where go?"
> school only thing I can think of
> arrive walk in its passing period
> go to 5th period
> everyone is staring
> WHAT?
> look down, I'm covered in dry soap, I'm wearing black + white soap oh shit
> look down, cont...

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>>555543080
I'd like to hear some more

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>be me
>few years ago
>have job working with potatos
>main guy I have is pretty chill
>he wants to see movie, iron man or some shit
>we go
>standing in line
>2 shitheads a few people back start making retard jokes
>other people in line looking at me like "you gonna do something or what"
>potato doesnt understand, doesnt care
>been having a bad week thought to myself, "fuck it"
>turn around, "shut up faggots" etc etc
>taller one approaches first, "whatcha gonna d-"
>cant finish cause I right cross him
>he falls down
>skinny friend pushes me once
>guy that was in line comes up behind him and grabs his arms
>think to myself "fuck it"
>throw punch while he's being held, goes down, the guy drops him.
>grab the potato whos going apeshit
>come on man lets get a smoothie
>we bail

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Damn it OP this is why I don't fight clean. I always have little tricks up my sleeve. First of all try to avoid the fight at any costs. Try to reason, explain and come to a solution. If this does not work and push comes to cunt punts then it's time to throw down /b/eta style.
Welcome to the school of windmill punches and eye pokes. You probably may already be experienced in these tactics but we'll take it 10 steps higher. If he starts to fight instantly kick his balls, go apeshit. Spit on him and get your dick out and start spraying piss while shouting in his native tongue "YOU WANA THROW DOWN YOUNG NIGGA?!" This battle cry will not only ease up your tension but it will let your opponent know you are a skilled ghetto fighter. Proceed to throw wild punches at his balls. Just go straight for his junk and try to pull down his pants if possible. Try to throw his hat off if he's got one. Keep spitting on his face as this will gross out your opponent. You MUST keep your dick out to assert dominance and scare your opponent. Shout horrible obscenities at them as well. If they grab you in some sort of wrestling move or hold just bite them and grab there eyes and try to puncture them. Bite them with all your might and start shitting yourself and squirting out whatever piss you have left. Try to make yourself vomit to. Start acting sexual and if possible start masturbating. Rape them if necessary. But be careful as this is highly illegal and frowned upon in most regions. Use whatever weaknesses you find. Throw a cheap shot at there eyes. Blind them, cripple them anything. Once you get one good, damaging shot in then run like fuck and use your skills in parkoor to outrun these opponents. When its over celebrate by toasting a fresh glass of code red mountain due as you simulate drinking the blood of your enemy.

>>555538423
Alright
I once knew 2 niggers
Their names was Ty and the other was daquan
Both boys hated each other
They got off the bus
Daquan hit Ty and Ty was knocked out
The end

Cont.
> right hand is fucking mangled, swollen, red, twisted
> oh shit wtf?
> I think it's nothing...fuck it it'll heal (no healthcare)
> Later mom calls me, told me her bf had to go to hospital, concussions idgf, mom and I are closer but she still tries to bring him up as if he's a good guy
> be me, 19, today hand is still broken, never healed, the bone split in half, and the tendon lies inside the crack of the bone....my fighting days are about over at this point
> hurts still from4 time to time
> no sing of faggot bf, hope he's dead or in jail or someshit idc. Well that's it /b what think?

>>555540357
LOL faggot.

>>555544235
Sure thing, tough guy.

>Be me, 10th grade year Gym Class
>Regular shit going on that day-
>fucking bitches, nonstop
>Fucking 9\10 albino-shapeshifting lizard bastard James walks out of locker room
>Shit clouds 'abrewin'
>"Fuck you, anon"
>"Fuck you James you're a pussy"
>James had recently returned from an 8 year long excursion in the woods to find himself and learn Kung-fu
>mfw he airkicks me, several times without touching the ground
>cry like a bitch
>me and James are best friends now

>>555544837
Flawless techniques

>>555545040
Your mom is a dirty whore and she's the reason why you can't continue fighting

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Not exactly a fight but meh
>middle school
>there's faggot beaner is a faggot I don't like
>thinks he's top shit
>all kids coming inside from lunch break
>faggot beaner walks up to me
>beaner gives me a fucking titty twister
>holy shit wtf
>instincts kick in
>punch kid straight in the forehead
>knock out beaner
>everyone laughs their asses off
>forever know as ''that kid who knocked out a Mexican because he gave him a titty twister''
>knuckles hurt for 2 Weeks

>>555545784
Can almost agree

>>555540908
bullshit nobody fucks around with paychecks unless they want to get ultrasued, fuck off

>>555538423
Maybe if you weren't so poor you could afford health care, or live in a neighborhood where there aren't minorities that want to steal your things.

>>555543535
You pulled a fucking tomoe nage in an actual fight? If you're telling the truth thats really funny to picture,

>>555538423
>be me
>walking down the street
>see a shadow
>he creeps up behind me and pulls a gun up to my head
>at this point im shitting my pants, literally
>he said give me all you got i want your money not your life but if you try to make a move i won't think twice
>I told him you could have my cash but first you know i gotta ask what made you wanna live this kind of life?
>he said there ain't no rest for the wicked, money don't grow on trees, i got bills to pay, i got mouths to feed, their ain't nothing in this world for free

>>555546016
whole shop was crooked, under the table bonuses, etc.

>Had fight with kid in grade 4
>Lost
>He grew up to be a famous golfer
>Never thanked me

>>555541467
This faggot is a nigger half breed

>>555546217
then why did you have cameras and shit around, if you were sketchy enough you wouldn't have that shit

captcha: replyhai nor

>>555546453
lol

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Good hand

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>>555546680
Bad one

>>555546189
i knew it was song by 3rd line. 7/10

>>555544235
More,please

>>555538423
>14
>riding bike
>three kids ride behind me talking shit
>get super close
>suddenly i stop
>everyone sort of stumbles, but no one falls to the ground
>throw my bike at the first kid
>punch second kid in the left cheek
>goes down like a sack of unwashed potatoes
>nearly hits his head on the gutter which protrudes at a right angle
>me and third guy left standing see this
>simultaneous mini heart attack
>the first guy is getting my bike off himself
>snatch it and leave
>bolt it straight home
>fuck my hand hurt

>>555538423

>be 19
>in boat on a lake with my sister, her jewnose bf, jewnose's friend, and one of my friends
>getting hammered all day
>gets dark
>wake-boarding rope gets wrapped in propeller
>sis and my friend (he's too fat and lazy to help) swim back to shore
>jewnose/jewnose friend are pushing boat back to shore
>jewnose talking serious shit on sis, stuff like "you stupid fucking bitch, i'm tired of your tiny ass house you poor cunt"
>stop talking shit jewnose
>he's too drunk to snap out of rage
>get to shore
>sticks sis's head under water after a brief argument
>i jump on jewnose's back, squeezing as fucking hard as my lanky ass can manage on the soft parts of jewnose's throat
>he gags for a good bit
>he freaks out and throws me off (much bigger than me)
>focus is off sis so she gtfo's
>jewnose punches me in the face, i was wet and it was glancing so no real damage
>sis is out of there by now so my friend and i try calming him down
>jewnose randomly sprints at and decks the FUCK out of my friend
>friend gets pummeled for a bit (over 10 hammer fists) and he's trying to guard, as me and jewnose's friend try to get him off
>jewnose comes to his senses a little, drives off with his fucking coward friend who was the only one there big enough to stop him originally
>cops
>jewnose back in prison for 5 years no parole

The only fight I've ever been in, even though I didn't do much. Just glad I distracted him from my sister.

My buddy got a broken nose, and a shitload of bruising but he enjoyed the pain meds.

>>555540908
Saved the story.

>>555544837

>YOU WANA THROW DOWN YOUNG NIGGA?!

I had fucking tears in my eyes from the laughter

>Started school in South Auckland, New Zealand
>99% Samoan, Tongan, whatever other possible ape-like race you can think of.. Polynesian melting pot
>Be 4 or 5. Long hair down to butt. White. No teeth but the vampire fangs. Glasses. Complete dork-looking.
>Picked on by every coconut in school
>Beaten up nearly every day
>Go home with black eyes. Mum complains to teachers
>Teachers are 100% Polynesian. Fucking apes
>Teachers defend bullies. Don't give a shit about me.
>Mum gets job at school cafeteria to watch over me
>Get advice from sisters' boyfriends.. Cool guys I look up to..
>Told to stand up for myself
>At school. 3 or 4 boongas approach me
>Start fucking with me
>Throw wild punches
>Win fight
>Suspended.
>Told to change schools.
>Move to new town
>Become bully as a defense mechanism (Not blaming my bullying on that, but yeah. I became what I was a victim of)
>I hate Samoans and Tongans to this day. I will rape and kill them.

>>555538423
>be me 15yrs old
>at school
>bully girl pushes me, hard
>try to walk away
>she trips me
>fall on my bumbum
>it hurts
>start to cry
>bully girl stands over me, so close I can smell her sweating vagina
>her gang of followers jeer at my tears
>something inside my tiny body snaps
>my fist tightened into a ball of knuckles fury
>screaming the war cry I imagined Bodica screamed as she fell upon the Romans I got to my knees and punched her in the cunt
>RUN away to hide in the library
>next day bully girl catches me alone in classroom
>oh god I'm dead
>she towers inches over me
>she leans in close
>NO SHES GOING TO BITE ME!
>she whispers in my ear
>'sometimes you punch the cunt, sometimes the cunt punches you'

>be me
>15 years old
>at six flags with fam
>swimming in "sit in tubend go in slow circle" area
>black kid probably 12 swimming next to me
>clearly has autism or someshit
>dontgiveafuckimaniceguy.jpg
>3 kids behind us mocking the tard
>mocking tard bc tard makes tard noises
>I turn around without hesitation>
>sock one in face kid falls back into water
>tard starts screaming HARDCORE.jpg
>lifeguards watch the other 2 hold me underwater
>kick one in nuts
>i was fat manlet, so i had lower body strength
>drop last kid on neck KO
>black kid says "tenks" as him mom carries him away
>lifeguards tell the 3 kids and there fams to leave
>turns out they do it all the time, there regulars
>>feelsgood.jpg

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Top kek achieved.

mfw nobody here has fought anybody ever

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>>555548601
>fall hard on my bumbum

>>555547579
You did the right thing, friend.

A chivalrous Anon is just s righteous as a badass Anon.

>>555538423
nah

>>555548601
Be me, 8th grade, first couple days of school
> youngnigress,speaking loudly causing a huge ruckess
> student's have to stand outside on the blacktop on top of numbers for role
> nigress still being loud and abnoxios can tell everyone wants her to shut up
> teacher comes "hey *fucking black girl name I can't remember* be quiet!
> Wtf nigga I fucking hate school blah don't fucking talk to me like that il call my momma down here she come quick and out your bitch ass in your place! Blah blah"
> I immediately but in, "can you just please shutup for she can tske role? Can't you just act like a fucking normal human being for a couple of seconds? It's hot out here I wanna go!"
> "Wtf did you just say to me nigga!?" Walks up yo me. Shit what do?
> Blabbering. She swings at me, I didn't see it coming so it makes perfect contact, teacher pulls her off immediately
> my nose is broken, bleeding everywhere, fuck....
> Fast forward "you got beat up by a girl fucking pussy blah blah " was in boxing for 3 years at the time idc let them talk
> nose is broken to this day...I hate niggers so much. ..

>>555544398
took me too long to realise potato wasn't an actual potato

I table-topped a kid in 6th grade once, but not much else.

555555555

>>555546189
Good song

>>555538423
not so much of a fight as a humorous diddlydoo
inb4 "middle school fag"
>be in middle school
>specifically, be in 6th grade
>be Asian
>be very defensive about my race because dad hammered it into my head
>after school, walk to nearest library to wait for friends and my ride
>be in room in the back where kids do homework and shit
>loud black kid, name is Corey or some shit, imitating a Chinese accent with his posse, who are clearly very try-hard and low class people
>goes on for 10 minutes
>pick up a foam block throw it at his head because i'm an idiot
>tell him not to make fun of other races
>he gets up
>basically explains in ebonics how he's half Asian and how he'll talk however he wants
>pure bullshit, there is not a shred of asian in him, has wide nigger nose and supersized lips
>he harasses me and my friends for a good two weeks
>one day, I forgot how it started, he tries to assault me in a deli run by Koreans
>he clearly isn't living up to his race's standards because all he is doing is grabbing my shoulders and walking around
>shit is falling over but i'm walking backwards at the same speed and no harm is being done to me
>still a little scared, friends too pussy to move
>Koreans are flipping their shit though, doing their Korean gobble, threaten to call police
>he quits, eyes me for the rest of the time
>I get my instant noodles, get out and sit on the wall of the library, about chest high, with friends
>black cunt approaches from below, spits the word "pussy" and his posse of entirely white kids giggle, not laugh, giggle
>not angry at black kid really, but the posse is starting to piss me off, I have sort of a low tolerance for asspies who latch onto other people
>motion to black cunt to let me finish my noodles, then we'll go
>mmm that's some good starch

>>555550689
cont.
>quickly flip the bowl of still-hot soup onto his face
>has a surprisingly high scream, eaten only collard greens and chicken his whole life, probably allergic to delicious noodles
>lets out stream of curses, tries to punch me but hits shin because high wall
>grab my friends bowl, throw that too
>friend wasn't done but he isn't even mad
>throw other friends, pretty much missing but white kids gets splashed too so i'm happy
>burning them like holy water on the antichrist
>this shouldn't hurt that much, but i'm not complaining
>run into library for sanctuary, as soon as black kid enters you can smell the msg
>get noodles every day for the rest of the year

>>555548740
You are a true manlet hero

i'll post one
> be 15 used to get in a lot of fights so I was decent
> riding bike home after school when I get hit by a flying egg
> get pissed off and start to chase car that threw the egg at me
> they stop at red lights cuz of other cars so it gives me a chance to catch up
> when I do, I snap off their antenna and start to scratch the paint off
> they drive into a parking lot and I chase them in
> "what the fuck man my car!" and other bs
> without saying a word I grab dick and twist
> immediately falls but i hold and beat face in
> friend comes out and hits me pretty good
> starts to kick me
> I force my self up and tacle down
> I was pretty good at grappling and knew some BJJ and wrestle
> got in a keylock (grab wrist and move arm in bad ways)
> covered in egg and victorious, got the hell outa dodge

>>555548486
Cont
>Joined softball team coz Dad liked softball
>Final game, ultra nervous
>Missed catch. Broke down like bitch, thinking I lost the game for my team
>We won. Read the scores wrong. Ultra embarrassed
>Next few days, rumour spreads throughout school
>Random cunts bring u>Joined softball team coz Dad liked softball
>Final game, ultra nervous
>Missed catch. Broke down like bitch, thinking I lost the game for my team
>We won. Read the scores wrong.
>Crybaby rumour spreads around school
>Random faggots laugh and bring it up
>Over it. End of lunch one day, another faggot brings it up.
>Snap. He has his back turned to me. Run up to him. Flying knee right through his back
>He's in tears on the ground
>Try and justify my actions to his friends
>The biggest friend (Tuffest guy in school. A fucking huge cunt) says it's me and him after school
>Next few classes.. Shitting myself.. No idea what's going to happen..
>Ask best friends if they've got my back..
>"We're friends with him too.. Nah, I'm not going to jump in.."
>FUCK!!
>Think hard.. Sweating.. Scared as shit.. Finally decide I'm going to just hide the fear and not give him the satisfaction..
>3:00 bell rings..
>Meet tuff guy
>As soon as fight starts I just smile at him
>He throws punches and misses.. grab onto eachother
>Start trying to throw eachother around.. General wrestling.. Still smiling at him
>He gets frustrated, "What the fuck are you laughing at?"
This part I don't remember
>Black out.
>Fights over.. sigh of relief
>I won. He's crying
>What the fuck just happened?
>Next morning walking into school
>Tuff guy sees me, comes over, oh shit!!
>Ready for round 2
>Shakes my hand. Says I'm the strongest person in school now.. Became friends

>>555549261
Including you

>>555545040
Any way surgery could get that fixed?

>>555548740
That tard may have been the epitome of /b/'s hatred, but you did good that day. The day that Anon was not a faggot.

>>555550181
I went to an all girls Christian college

>>555550640
You know it.

>>555538423
>Be me 13yrs old
>4'10" & slightly chubby
>be bullied everyday by some fag
>one day, get sick of it
>drop books on the floor
>punch bully in the sternum
>knee to the head
>pickup books
>walk intro classroom without looking back
>end of bullying

>>555551584
No healthcare, can't even afford fucking consultation, or xrays, when it comes down to it instinct kicks in and I use the hand anyway doesn't really help much though still haven't lost a fight with it, but I been real close and I'm real scared at this point I was a really good fighter....When my hand just got broken I sparred with some big guy from school who heard about the shit. Thought he was tough so we sparred back at my house with MMA gloves I used one hand only, the other one I let dangle, im left handed so I still one just really had to ise a lot of head motion guy was heavy. Realy heavy hitter, fuck i get to hold on to a bit of reputation for a while but that fight sure fucking put me out of breath I'm scared honestly

>>555551245
damn I thought the text refreshed. Didn't realize I'd pasted the second story. I didn't think the second would fit with the first

>>555550064

I appreciate that /b/ro. So glad my friend and I were there, and that my other sis left earlier with her kids.

>>555552702
I still won*

>>555546991
>>555546189

yeh, would have been much better if he fleshed it out more

>>555548740
Hee I meba ou


Tenks.

>>555552960
The badassery is strong with this one

>>555553630
Nothing to really brag about just 5yrs of boxing paying off, my brother can still fuck me up with both hand behind his back though....and I've lost many fights before at the gym, just when it comes to these wannabe tough guys I stand out, but I'm mediocre at best

This happened couple months ago
>be me 16
>going to party
>cops get called immediately
>me and friends leave
>couple hours later hear it's still goin on so we go
>niggers get kicked out for fighting
>cops get called again so we leave
>walkin back to car when three car full of niggers come back
>walking and one friend gets sucker punched
>my buff manlet friend yells "run to the car"
>goes to help friend who is gettin stomped
>hand sister who was driver the keys
>I'm trying to open door when I get punched in the back of the head
>turn around ready to fuck this nigger up
>literally 5 guys in front of me
Ohfuckimmonkeyfood.jpeg
>punched in face fall to floor and get kick and stomped
>manlet bro comes and pushes guys off and shoves me in car
>busted lip and bleeding sister got kicked for tryin to get niggers off

I was a little drunk when this shit happened instantly sobered up. Still have scar on my lip to this day.

>>555555000
nice trips nigger

>>555538423
>be me 16 year old
>day before shit happens at school
>mfw its my friends trying to get bud but it was fake
>some big random tiwi guy gets there money back
>next day the 2 drug dealers wanted compensation cause there "sale" was down
>mfw friends were bitzed as fuck and i tried sorting it out ended up getting cheep shoted twice didnt hurt
>said to take it to the smokers (oval) be nice tell him to take off rings but he doesnt
>splits his finger bad we all laugh at his retardness
>straight away had to fight other dealer
mfw he says "you use to talk shit to me in primary school" spartan kicks my head grazes my left side of my face cause i moved a bit
>caught his leg hit him with back hand knuckle
start goin ham cause other tard was
>doesnt work start fighting proper (staights and hooks)
>MFW he backs off and says teachers comming no one appears

my fame went up so much

>>555555000
> monekyfood
Top fucking kek
This is why I loathe the nigger race

>In my room, having sex with girlfriend
>Brother runs in, "There's someone breaking into your car"
>Grab my gun, run downstairs
>Two niggers. Shoot and kill one. Shoot the other, he's still alive
>I grab him by the collar and drag him to the curb
>Tell him to bite the curb
>I say, "Say goodnight."
>Kick his head into curb

>>555555976
First trips I've ever gotten so thanks

I run this shit.

>>555556685
Project x much?

>>555557175
Fuck that was for you project X

>>555556685
I was pretty tolerant for niggers but now I despise them and refer to them as niggers no matter what

>>555557406
I mean fuck everytime I see or meet one I try to say "hey maybe he's not so bad, maybe there's only a couple of sour apples" and immediately after hearing them talk for like 20secs I am reminded....

>555556000

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>>555557665
>>555556000

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>>555557395
Motherfucking American history x faggot

>>555557734
Oops my bad
Movie was 10/10

>>555538423
>Kinghit a dude that knocked out my mate at a party
>Hit him so hard in the side of the face that he spun around on the grass and broke his ankle.
>Feltgood.jpg

>>555540357
I bet you sucked each others dicks too right?

>>555557727
>>555557000

>>555557639
I only have one true black friend and he's not a typical Nigger hes a cool black dude

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>>555538423
Video games aren't real

>>555539112
Dude, you don't hurt another guy's balls. That's wrong, man...

The story of my first fight

>be me 13
>awkward beta fag
>dad had died recently
>devastated as fuck
>fast forward 2 months after his death
>sitting with some friends in school
>some faggot asshole comes by
>"hey anon, heard your fag dad died"
>try to play it like I didn't hear him
>rage slowly building up
>he said something along the lines "I guess you didn't hear me with all that cock in your ears"
>immediately get up
>throw punch
>lands on his smug faggot face
>letthebodieshitthefloor.gif
>he's down
>start punching him on the floor
>break his nose
>see blood and go back and sit down
>pretend nothing happened

I got a two month suspension and the kids parent's tried suing because he ended up having a concussion.

>>555558051
Then you have had better luck than me
I used to have a friend back in middleschool he was fucking cool, he was a nerd like myself at the time....haven't seen him since he got a gf last time I seen em was back in highschool

>>555558267
Yea my black bro is a really popular guy and is also a nerd like me

>>555545040
meditate on your hand man, and eat healthy so you have the nutrients for your hand, but it sounds as if your hand can still be healed, but i dunno

>>555558148
OP here
Yeah say what you want but this shit all cut me deep and I know this shit all went down had to vent, this is all true, I don't really have friends anymore and when I did no one cared enough to listen, but here on /b I can vent and not have to worry about what people think because you are all strangers it just feels good letting some shit out

not exactly a fighting story but
>buddy of mine is about to hang out with this girl
>7-8/10 but super easy
>waiting at mcdonalds for his next move
>suddenly he gets a call
>her friend calls frantic, other girl just froze and fell flat on her face on the driveway
>broke her nose, lost a bunch of her front teeth, pretty much deformed
i never got a chance to see the pic but talk about unlucky, my friend went home with a dry dick

>>555555554
>>555555556

Test

>>555555555

>>555555555

>be me in high school
>be playing pickup basketball
>couple of guys come over
>ask if they want to play
>nothereforthat.jpeg
>they start fucking with me
>try and hold my own momentarily
>get my ass kicked
>mom gets freaked out
>tells me im moving with my aunty and uncle in bel air

>>555558687
Every bad ass street brawler comes to 4chan to speak about the exploits.
The furry/mlp/loli/rule34 threads all scream "bad ass."

In reality, you saw a minority on TV, and curled up on your bed hugging your favorite, least cum-covered MLP doll, screaming:

"desudesudesupuddiumadbaitbaitb8, Moot, Shrek, Doge—come save me, baitbaitdesupuddi!!"

>>555559027
Fucking got me
9/10

>>555546598
sorry about late, was outside doing car shit
Shop didnt fuck around about that shit, we had indians drain their oil and come back in with a pinging engine and demand a new car. the looks on their faces when we showed them the video and the realization they fucked their car in the ass for nothing was priceless.

>Be in seventh grade
>Get titty twistered by the local bully in school bathroom
>Go bananas
>Grab him by the neck and smash his head in
>Much blood. Very bleeding. Wow
>Two freshman break us up before a teacher enters
>He had a concussion for 2 months and transferred schools before becoming a drug addict and drop out

>>555546132

It's a useful move outside of sparring since it's so unexpected.
In an environment where it's practiced, it's easy to just roll through it, but in a real fight you don't expect people to pull that shit.

>>555538423
>>555539057
>>555541467
>>555544235
>>555545040
>>555545993
You need to grow up OP. All this fucking and shit isn't going to get you fucking anywhere unless you want to go into the pros. Stop acting like a bitch ass faggot and start making something out of yourself. Because if you don't, you're just going to be in the same shitty ass life and filled with poverty. Stop all that BS fighting. You're lucky you haven't been convicted of assaults.

Also, your mother needs to grow the fuck up to. She's bringing about these shitty ass motherfuckers.

>>555538423
how this would go with my family:
>be 16yrs old,
>dinner with family
>alarm goes off outside, sounds like my car
>I get my SR-25, give my 911, and two extra magazines to my dad
>dad gets his saiga, and two extra magazines
>mom calls 911 telling them that we're being robbed, and to send an ambulance
>as soon as i confirm that its my car being broken into from the 3rd story attic window, i take him in the leg.
>several people run away
>seeing no further resistance and blue lights approaching I grab a shotgun from the closet and join my dad, and the police force outside.

>>555543156
How did you try and talk to the girls? Were you just trying to be nice and talk or were you being edgy little faggots? If the latter you had what was coming, if the former then those girls were bitches and Im glad your friend beat the shit out of one. They shouldnt pick on kids anyways

>>555559260
All this fighting and shit*
grow up too*
Finish high school if you haven't, get a job, quit fucking around. Join the Military if you have to.

>be me 15 years old
>faggot tough guy harassing me at school
>wants to start fight so he can punch me and claim self defense
>It works, I punch him in the jaw, he grabs hockey stick and clubs me in the head with it
>OHKO
>He gets expelled
>mfw

Now he's in jail on 2 counts of grand theft auto and burglery, court date next month lol

>>555538423
>be half black half white guy
>always hang out with this fag named Roger
>one day be hanging out at this party with my two older brothers
>spitting game on Roger's crush
>he gets mad as shit
>tells me lets go talk personally
>say "whats up gee"
>he says "what do you mean what's up? why you talking to her you know I like her?"
>I jokingly say, "she don't like small cracker dick"
>this rustles him and he says, "fucking monkeyass nigger. I wanted her and you knew that, you fucked me over for yourself"
>brother interrupts and says "fucking cracker don't fucking call my lil bro the n-word you fucking trillass honkie" and then he shoves him
>tries to leave, tries to squeeze around my brother
>brother doesn't want to let him leave so he uppercuts him and this fag gets thrown back
>he immediately spins himself back and punches my brother
>brother starts covering his face, other brother starts punching Roger
>Grab a glass bottle and break it on Roger's head and start beating the fuck out of him
>my brothers join me and we knock him out and he just lays there
>Roger's older cousin sees and he starts attacking us
>punches me first, I fall down
>then he punches my oldest brother but he only confuses him and he socks my other brother but my brother takes it like nothing
>he just keeps taking shots at the three of us
>in the end his friends pull him off of us and we leave
>we kicked ass that night.

>>555558160
>letthebodieshithtefloor.gif
My fucking sides

>>555559260
I'm not good enough to go pro. And I'm trying to get out of poverty I'm still in school bro, I'm trying to major in mechanical engineering

>be 12
>a little asshole
>pick on kid constantly trying to get him to fight me
>in gym class
>finally the day has come
>never been in a fight
>ummm grab his shirt
>him: hit me hit me i dare you to hit me do-
>every single nigger within a five mile radius of the schools gym is going oooooo
>knocked him out
>never seen anyone knocked out
>never knocked anyone out
>scared shitless so i walk to the office and tell them i killed someone

>>555538423
>Be me
>Be in eighth grade
>Fat redneck bitch spouting loud hick-isms during gym
>Finally tell her to just shut up so everyone can have a good time
>She shuts up
>I turn around to talk to a buddy of mine
>Feel something grab me and begin to crush me
>It's her
>ohgodwhathaveidone.wmv
>Faggot rage explodes within me
>My ribs will not be crushed on this day
>No formal training whatsover
>Never fought
>Bend over
>Kick her in the knee
>Grab her arm
>Miraculously manage to toss her over my shoulder to the ground
>Bitch was AT LEAST 400 pounds
>Adrenalin's a hell of a drug

>>555538423
>be little me at pretty much any point before my sophomore year of highschool
>only white kid in entire school
>had a really stupid last name to boot, which caused me to get picked on
>freshman year of highschool
>I'm 6'2", 190lbs, and I look like I'm 140 at max.
>Some faggot named pedro or some shit calls me a bitch and shoves me
>I'm not a bitch, so I shove him back about twice as hard and call him a dirty spic
>Be outside later that day
>Pedro the dirty spic shows up with like 4 of his "gangbanger" friends
>I get my ass laid out because 5 to 1 is not good odds
>Still managed to down 3 of those little shits
>Hear him talking about how he beat the living shit out of me at school the next day
>Yell "let's go again right fucking now when your friends aren't there to back you up"
>He tells the teacher like a little bitch, I get detention
The end.

>>555559679
Good. I'm not rich myself, and I've lived dirt ass poor. I've been so fucking broke there was no power in the house and a $0.99 bag of chips was too much. Shit will always get better you just have to be patient and work towards it. Don't get a criminal record, don't fuck up your credit, don't get a shitty ass driving record, etc.

>be Asian
>used to fight in underground tournaments.
>bro got fucked up by this one guy so I started fighting because of him.
>used to be all peaceful and shit.
>friends joined tournament also looking for the same guy.
> had some crazy ass matches just to see said fucker in the finals.
> guy looked just like my brother.
> knocked his ass out with a fire ball.
> finished him

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>be me 13
>be big for my age after growth spurt
>like I'm bigger than a lot of the juniors in high school
>start wrestling because why not
>used to live in foster home that my aunt ran before moving in with dad because mom was sick
>used to be bullied by every fucking nigger that lived there cause I used to be super small
>especially this fucking fat gorilla named Xavier
>I'm black but he was a fucking nigger
>he reads at a fucking first grade level even though he's 13
>used to have to fight him every fucking day when I lived there between 10-12
>haven't been back since growth spurt
>go back for thanksgiving
>hang out with family members who all ignore him
>he finally starts fight with me for no reason
>It'stime.jpg
>let him take swing at me
>dodge easily because his fat slows him down
>throw right hook then left jab
>jab breaks his nose
>before he can recover I double-leg him and pick him up
>slam him on his back on hardwood floor
>start wailing on his face
>cousin pulls me off of him
>kick him in the teeth knocking out his two front teeth
>look up
>family bertstaring
>aunt finally tells him to go clean up
>he's crying
>aunt tells him not to start fights if he's gonna cry when he loses
>proudest my dad's ever looked at me
>grandma gives me my own whole sweet potato pie
>10/10 would take revenge again

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>>555559027
Master troll, expert hacker, super-original genius, non-pedophile detected!!
Holy fuck—A Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reference?
Jesus Christ!!
No wonder your generation is known for Justin Bieber/Bronies/DubStep/and social media—in no way is your generation—The Footnote Generation—trying to send the world into a new dark age!!

Don't forget to respond with your typical Autism-Ebonics, because your babyraping mind can't form an actual response!!

Way too many fucking kids on /b posting school stories. You're all cancer!

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>>555546132
I'm laughing too hard at this

>>555559841
I'm not fucking with any of that shit. The only thing i got on my record is stealing snickers from a 711 when I was 16
I only fight in self defense, never have I started a fight never.
I remember having to shower with an umbrella to protect myself from shit and piss cascading from the roof because the upstairs plumbing was out

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>>555543668

Flawless healthcare doe.

>>555538423
>Be 9
>This Maori kid (NZfag) keeps hasslin me
>Tell him to fuck off several times
>He is not being threatening just super irritating
>He was a big kid, so I was wary
>Just lost my shit, before I knew what happened I had punched him right in the face as hard as I could.
>Give him a swollen eye
>Kid barely flinches and asks 'what was that for?'
>Wind is taken out of my sails and realise I am actually weak as fuck
>Kid didn't really give a fuck, but left me alone.

Fuck those maoris can take a hiding. What do you expect, they were still warring, beating each other to death with stone clubs only 100 years ago.

>be me, 15yo
>in Murrican History 1st period class
>so there are 4 people who always first to class, even before the teacher: me, my bro (friend not actual bro), 7/10 shy blonde qt I've had a massive crush on, and this fucking prick name of Jon. Jon the Jarhead.
>you know, the kind that wears USMC hats and work boots and camo everything because his dad is in the army or some shit and he's going into it too whatever idgaf
>jarhead always making stupid comments, bullying kids, threatened people by saying a condensed version of the gorilla warfare copypasta
>so one day qt is out of school and me bro and Jon all show up to class, Jon starts making jokes about how deep he'd go in her snatch
>autism flares up, decide I must defend m'lady's honor
>"Hey Jon, I didn't think you could sound any more stupid, but here you are telling jokes to nobody who's listening"
>that was verbatim, I know it doesn't make much sense but fuck you I'm a beta
>"you tryna start something kid?"
>yep.avi
>friend looks like he's going to pass out, no help expected from him so I have him hold my glasses

cont.

>>555559965
are you implying that all black people are autistic?

>>555541467
So weird my name is James and i'm 23 kek

>>555559965
Nigger the fuck are you talking about?

>>555558160
How did it all end up? The suing and everything, I mean.

>>555543290
> Felt anime
kekekekekek

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>>555560421
No—99.9% of the people on /b/—the internet's shortbus

>>555559706

>so i walk to the office and tell them i killed someone

kek

>>555538423
>>555555555

>>555544837
10/10 if OC
7/10 if copypasta

>>555538423
>i forgot to remove the stereo
>cant afford an ambulance

lost my shit. 3rd world thread? 3rd world thread.

>>555546453
Top kek

>>555559260
So you're little pansy ass is saying that you would let some douche ass nigger beat your mom? Your the faggot here anon, fuck you and everything you stand for

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>>555538423
>can't afford an ambulance
please tell this part isnt true

>>555555000

UNDERAGE FAG FAG FAG FAG FAG

>>555544837
GOLD OC

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>>555550064

*tips fedora*

>>555561139
Yes it's true, we've lived in the gutter for years....ambulance rides are fucking expensive, the truck is the only thing we own worth anything

>>555561139
ambulance rides cost like $3,000.

>>555559232
duely noted

>>555559706
Kid fights in a nutshell, things don't get bad until 15 and on, unless they get big early, or have ham fists.

>>555560726
have you ever seen forrest gump

i dont really get into fistfights. i mostly just mace people and hit them with bats or breaker bars or really anything i can find in the seat of my car. the last time i got into a fight was on st patrics day, me and my buddy fucked up these two guys who were drunk and pissed off we were hitting on their 'bitches'

>>555561118
Nah, I'd stand up for my mother. However my mother doesn't choose to be with abusive motherfuckers. You know there's always another decision to be made in a situation, right?

He could have called the police and got him arrested. What if, instead, that guy called the police on him and OP got a criminal record. What then?

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>>555538423

>> mom and I at dinner table sipping high quality wine
>> we're dirt poor take phone away "mom no...we can't afford an ambulance I'll be fine" she refuses but I keep phone away (no healthcare welcome to America)

Fuck you OP, save your "high quality wine" money and get insurance you irresponsible fuck.

>MFW ... mad

>>555547405
>throw my bike at the first kid
lel

>be 9th grade
>skinny white kid
>sitting outside in this wide pavillion waiting for the bus
>couple empty benches
>mexican kid sitting alone
>2 white kid go up to the mexican kid
>they start to harass him
>a beat up van flosses the corner
>full of like 16 beaners
>they get out of the van
>beat the shit out of the white kids
>you mess with one bean, you mess with the whole burrito

>>555561207
Did you just diss Heaven?

>>555555000
These trips are good, I won't even take you up on being underage b&

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>>555551989

kill yourself attention whore

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>be 12 or 13
>waiting for bus
>pair of faggots BSing with me
>one is my age, other looks to be a year older or some shit
>get off at my stop
>faggots following me
>attempt to mug me (top lel)
>shitting bricks
>slap bigger kid with all my brickshitting fury
>mfw they fuck off

>>555561376
He was way higher functioning than the kids on /b/—you know, the ones who eat lunch alone in high school

>>555561384
He was 23 I was 16 he was in MY house I wouldn't have gotten a record except truancy from school
Cops never do shit to him when cslled trust me this stuff has happened it didn't result to fighting until the very limits were pushed

>>555561419
Here in better countries we don't need to spend money on insurance. So we can keep sipping high quality wine AND get healthcare.

>>555561535
Autism

>>555541523
Just because he h4xzord his name, and he is seen around /b/, he is a person to base your opinions around?

>>555555000
Too bad you didn't have a gun. Nothing makes the niggas run when they start hearing gun sounds.

>>555541467
yes

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>>555561306

>high quality wine
>Chevy Silverado
>can't afford medical care.

Sounds like the America I live in, value material shit over health and willing to get into debt to look "ballin"

Pretty awesome rims on that truck OP?

>>555547405
I have a story like this
>Be me
>18-19
>nice day, riding bike
>three punk kids outta nowhere on bikes
>start chirping
>one speeds up tries to hit my back wheel with his front
>BRAKES, lean so my back wheel snags his front wheel, stupid bicth kid gets flipped
>ride away
>smile as i hear all his bitch friends panicking
>pretty sure kid was seriously hurt
>no fucks given

>>555561419
Wine was gift bitch, sambernardino county gave us a free thanksgiving dinner that we redeemed at stater bros, I should have included that

>on the town with mates
>well mashed at this point
>can't feel extremities, but can maintain balance fine
>suddenly drinks are flying across the bar
>2 dudes are punching on with 1 other guy
>friends and I move to spectate
>realize the 1 guy get wailed is our mate
>fuckno.jpeg
>we all jump in because aus army stick together
>suddenly is 10 on 2
>nobody else realized we are army
>grab 2 guys and throw them out of club in front of bouncers
>blood everywhere. 1 of them can't walk
>bar staff tell bouncers we saved them a lot of trouble
>get to stay in club
>everyone be mirin us for the rest of the night

>>555561419

>better country
>enormous tax rate to support your "live like a pleb" perks

chose one.

>>55556141
You don't expect people topsoil themselves a little bit on the holidays? Besides, if you knew a thing or two about wine, you would know that wine should be aged for the best quality. Ts possible that OP's mother had either been a) holding onto the wine, or b) received it as a gift. Try harder to not be a faggot.

>>555561493

heaven is a legendary anon, one of the top heads of the aknimunous leegkin

>>555561583
its not about who you eat with, its about what you eat. and all i eat is baked beans. because theyre sooooo good

>>555561835

Yes, you should have...

>>555561679
>>better country
>>enormous tax rate to support your "live like a pleb" perks

>chose one.

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>>555561723

>>555559536
You started shit and then your brother fought for you. Then when he had his back turned you glassed the guy. Then when someone else came in you got knocked down from one punch.

You sure do sound badass, man.

>>555561728
This Anon speaks the truth.

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>Be me
>High school, sophomore year
>School is in the middle of the ghetto
>After school one day, went to the shopping plaza nearby
>Assholes from school playing guitar out in front of dollar store
>This kid tries to tell people he's on the SWAT team
>mfw he failed the test for his GED 6 times
>Pic related, it's him
>Around christmas time so my friends and I dress up as elves and Santa
>Throw chocolate coins at him, yell that Santa would've gotten him coal, but shit in a golden wrapper was more appropriate for a liar
>Kid gets pissed
>Tells us that he's gonna fight us behind the McDonald's
>ChallengeAccepted.jpeg
>Go in to buy milkshake first because white people like to buy things they don't need
>mfw the McDonald's employees call the cops because they think we're trying to rob them
>Explain to employees
>Employees go nuts, think what we're doing is fucking hilarious
>Cops still show up
>Employees say it was a misunderstanding
>Cops leave out the other door
>mfw the guy was still lurking
>mfw he had pulled out his knife and was waiting for us
>mfw he gets shot because cop thought he was gonna attack since he's lurking behind the McDonald's
>mfw his body hits the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur

>>555561998
That's not what trolling is.

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>>555561306
Wow you poor fucking yanks. Your politics are horrible.

>>555561339
Why are there no protests, do the american people believe no free health care is in their best interests, i dont understand it... how brainwashed can a whole fucking country be and its not like we are talking about North Korea here. Get your shit together Yankies.

>>555561139
They still have to take you, even if you have an outstanding bill. It's just that things go to a collections agency, paycheques are garnished, and you end up forever in debt because you can't make enough money to pay off a debt, only the interest earned since the last paycheque because the garnished wages get spread to a half-dozen debtors.

>>555561372
Ive only fought two people like really fought them and they both ended quickly
STORY 2 a few years later
>be in gym class again (big fucking shocker)
>friends and i are fucking with kids
>start throwing basketballs at them
>one gets angry and waits for me to turn my back then swings at me
>hits my ear
>well that didnt hurt oh well
>tell friend to throw another basketball
>it throws the basketball at the child or else it gets the hose again
>this time he starts walking up to me like he is going to punch me
>I'm still an asshole so i say "what you gonna hit me?"
>that wide ass swing
>left hand up to stop the punch
>right straight to his face
>goes sliding under this partition thing we had in gym so we couldnt see the girls
>everything goes to tunnel vision
>adrenaline is pumping hard
>grab his legs and yank him back to our side then proceed to hit him repeatedly
>couldn't hear anything due to adrenaline
>from what i was told they seen him go flying under the partition then me yank him back say "you fucked up" then really loud thuds
>get into office
>lady asks if i need an ice pack
>smile and say nope
>lady smiles and shakes her head

>>555561754
What about child support payments?

>>555562178
And again.
Does anyone here speak people talk, or is all aspergers?
Fuck since /b/ got overrun with /b/ronies, this board has gone to shit.

>>555562502
Ayyyyyyyyyy
Good stuff

>>555562502
Or a job application, a whip.

>>555559917
Love your ID

>>555538423
I'll tell you faggots a story, of me, the reigning miteweight champion of east county san diego
>be me
>be 4
>live in ghetto-ish part of SD
>have older brother
>12
>some prepubescent 9yo fag talks shit to my bro
>bro has friend
>omar
>probably 12-13
>fag wants to fight bro
>bro says he wont fight 9 yo
>"my little brother will kick your ass"
>omar walks into house
>gets me
>stands me, a 4 year old up to this 9 yo
>kids easy 8 in taller 20 lbs heavier than me
>"okay lil bro you ready to fight this kid?"
>first id heard of a fight
>got to defend bros honor
>"okay, Yeah!!!"
>i stand face to face/neck/chest with this little shit
>omar stands behind me, puts hands on and starts massaging my shoulders
>"okay anon, relax..."
>"relax..."
>"SWING!"
>hit this kid with a vicious right hook
>powrightinthekisser.rar
>bust the kids lip open, swells up like a ballon
>kids runs home crying
>his sisters run out to yell at my bro
>he prob couldnt hear over sound of his own laughter
>yell at me
>idc, smile my face off
>mfw when i am elite boxing champ
>mfw noone ever fought me again
>my face when i still hold my title
>mfw i have no face

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>>555562304
That is fucking evil, why are you not revolting in the streets. Do your people believe this is in place because it some how benefits them?

>>555561891

>be on the town again
>am at bar on my own
>2 gorillas start talking shit to me
>I don't want trouble, just having a good time
>call me a bitch
>I can accept that drunken roid muncher
>whatdidyoucallme?
>fuck you. Walk away from them
>shoved in the back
>I turn round and prepare to get walloped
>suddenly one of the lads I work with comes stomping over
>fucker is 2meters talk and weighs 130kilos (about 200lb for you yanks)
>"these lads causing trouble for you anon?"
>"nah mate, I think they just shut themselves because in huge" I joke
>gorillas immediately attempt surprise attack
>behemoth mate is like the fucking juggernaught
>he drops them both with 1 clothesline swing
>grabs them both by the back of the neck
>throw them out while I laugh

Having big friends always helps when you can't fight

>>555555000
Fucking underage newfags stealing trips

>>555562607
Jesus.
It's faggots like you who are actually ruining the board.
Really.
Like, the autism jokes are funny when they make sense.
You are actually the faggot who got his shit kicked in in most of these stories here, buddy.

>>555562263
It's a fight thread, not a politic thread. Fuck off.

in highschool. Not me, but my brother. some faggot wouldn't stop talking shit everyday and keep gloating about whooping my brother's ass. he got fed up and finally said "oh yea you'll whoop my ass?" faggot wouldn't back down and they decided to meet up in the woods behind our neighborhood. neither had experience in boxing so the punches were pretty comical but my brother had wrestling experience and managed to grab him by the arm and hip-tossed him so hard into the gravel he got a really nasty cut into his forhead. my brother wrestled his way on top and just started punching him repeatedly in the face. faggot started screaming in pain. brother decided to get off and walk away. I never saw the faggot again. I heard his father saw the blackeyes and decided to move back to california. Two years later I neet up with one of faggot's friends, he swears to me that my brother lost that fight but I ask him where faggot is and prove it a second time. faggot's friend shuts the fuck up.

In 8th grade this guy outta nowhere decides to talk shit.
Not a talker myself so i offer to see him in hallway after class.
Kid continues to talk shit during whole class even mentions hell get his buddy to kick my ass cus im not worth his time.
Only further response he gets outta me is....'OR AFRAID TO FIGHT HIS OWN BATTLE'...
Stay quiet from then till after class.
Typical school hallway just outside common area i state hell have to swing first cus i dont care if we fight or not because hes the one with the problem.
Comes at with the widest,slowest, and ugliest right hook haymaker ive ever seen.
Duck punch and catch him with real solid left hook to the ribs causing him to lean foward a bit.
I take a small step back and as soon as back right foot is planted throw a straight right to his chin and send him straight to sleep.....
Dont know why but nothing ever came of it..
No one ever tlkd about it.
Had fully rehearsed what to say to principal but never talked to him either.
The last instance of anyone publicly attempting to disrespect me for there pleasure.

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>>555561454
did not see the end coming, 10/10

>>555543290
>Felt anime

die

>>555563060
It's just numbers calm yourself

>>555546453
>Never thanked me
fucking kek

>>555561775
I own a Camaro, yet I'm broke as fuck with no healthcare. I bought it, used, because it leaked oil. The oil leak turned out to only be an oil filter tightened too far, so that the gasket leaked. I've kept it because it's cheap and easy as fuck to fix if something breaks.

The high class wine thing: Hey, maybe it was tax time. Maybe it was an old bottle from a housewarming party. Maybe a Christmas re-gift from someone who doesn't drink. Getting a refund might leave some wiggle room for a little splurge, but sure as fuck isn't anywhere near enough to pay for decent coverage for a year.

>>555562314
Had one like this back in high school.
>be in gym class
>doing homework because fuck this noise
>little beaner hits a friend with a basketball "on accident"
>tell him one more chance and to knock it off
>hits me
>walk up to him, deck him
>on his ass, kick him in the ribs
>dribble the ball on his head
>coach thought it was hilarious
>never fucked with us again.

>>555563998
>Dribble the ball on his head
Last I checked, heads are round.
Not so easy to dribble a basketball on round shit.

>>555543156
lies

>>555559536
you and your brothers are faggots

>>555557395
how in the niggery fuck does that have anything to do with project x?

One from my childhood
>be like 7 in the early 90s, every kid is into wrestling
>used to playfight with this kid a lot, never got violent, was just grappling mostly
>one day on the playground this kid walks up and smacks me with a wooden cricket bat (kiwifag here)
>still hurts like fuck, punch the kid in the stomach
>kid swings again, this time i duck and the bat flies out of his hand and clobbers some little 5 year old in the head
>grab the batkid and throw him off the playground
>get suspended, confused as to why

Turns out the batkid had autism but teachers never saw us playfighting. The kid that got hit by the bat was pretty badly injured and ended up going to hospital and never came to school again. Never found out what happened but i did break the autism kids arm (the playground was about the height of a house) and the teachers thought I did it because he had autism.

>>555562963
this is false. Fascism encourages intellectualism, because it makes for more productive people,and the arts cause nationalist pride.
>>555561798
So more about stupid kids. The city i was in was full of them.
>again around 18
>going to dealers/friends house, can't remember if social or business call
>get to his house, no answer at front door
>decide to go around back to see if he's home or left for bar already
>stupid punk ass kid out of nowhere
>"hey what are you doing"
>tell him to fuck off
>tells me it's his yard he can do what he wants
>tell him to fuck off again, i know it's not his yard
>takes a swing
>trip him kid bites cement walkway hard
>friend isn't home, leave.
>no fucks given

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>/b/ Me 15, sophormoron
>Passive-depressive pre-developed, all around beta
>Shit day
>Shit life
>Hate everything
>Weather sucks, it's all overcasted and gloomy
>On Bus after school on the way home
>Everyone is quiet, sharing my misery except these two spics
>One's tall and skinny, a junior, the other a fat fuck freshman with enough facial hair for a full goatee/chinstrap wombo combo
>Skinny sitting in chair in front of my, and fatass in the chair to his right, shouting ape-like noises at one another, including nigga after every other word.
>Left headphones at home, fuckingkillme.jpeg
>Bus slows to a stop, shits busted dawg
>Still silence, except for the wetback shouting match still going on
>Rage is building
>They start making jokes about how the bus is going to asplode from boms, 9/11 was real, type of shit
>Bus driver says something, cant hear over their shit
>She told us to press a button at the back of the bus
>Friend (openly gay) gladly gets up, and smiles, eager to get the bus rollin again, 420blazeit
>"Look at this faggot smiling, bet you sucked dick last night" -Fatass2012
>"SrslyWtf" -Everyone else
>"Why dont you just shut the fuck up" -Me
>Cont? 9..8..

>>555555000
someone ban this faggot
"This happened couple months ago"
>be me 16

Got a whole bunch of stories but I'll tell the most interesting one

>Be some years ago
>be in with my crew
>This young punk named Will wanted to join our group
>basically said he would do anything to join us, even the most fucked up shit imaginable
>rape.gif
>he agrees and we met a few days later in the early morning
>waiting in our car for a victim, see one
>yougonnagetraped.jpg
>grab her and drag her into a secluded area; somehow ended up in a rooftop. Don't ask why, we thought it was better up there
>she's screaming, so we beat the shit out of her face. Turned the rag we were covering her head with bright red. she didn't pit up much of a fight
>rape her
>after were done, tell Will to kill her with a gun as a final test
>he pulled the rag off her head, but then he started to cringe and stutter
>cause he was staring into the eyes of his own mother
>so then he jumped off the roof and died with no soul

>be giant 6ft 1
>gym class in 8th grade
>school basically over run by the nogs of the living nikes
>the nog lord decides to fuck around and trip me once
>thinks it's an accident
itscoolbro.jpg
>still running laps before I get tripped again
>be in muhreen family who doesn't lose fights
>gets back up and stares nog lord down
>I sprint as hard as I could straight into him
>enjoys the feel and lets him get up letting him hit me in the face
>clears my sinuses with the punch
>taunts him "thanks bro, feelsgood.jpg
>my turn now, faggot.
>drives my fist hammer style into nog lords face watching him fall back
>looks at me in terror as he lays on the floor
>be me smiling like a clown at watching him crumble
>security breaks it up
>security guard fist bumps me telling me I did good
>next day I walk around the place like a king
>people basically trying to get in good with me
>finds out that my one hit made him crumble in a way that broke his tibia
>never fucked with again

ok guys you will like this one! its my first and only fight i ever had but its a good one...

> be 12 years old
> just chilling in school with my best friend
> fucking annoying girl in class
> joke with my best mate and tell him that i will beat that bitch up in about 6 months if she keeps acting like this
> later that day
> best mate steels some shit from my desk in between lessons
> i run after him and accidentally run into the annoying bitch
> she yells at me
> i tell her im sorry it wasnt on purpose
> out of nowhere she slaps me straight in the face
> head is fucking ringing
> im thinking to myself "ok you have to do something but everyones looking you cant beat that bitch up"
> give her a little kick on the hip
> with her annoying bitchy voice she says "uuuhhh think that hurt?" and just giggles
> fucking loose it
> give her 2 huge punches
> she stares in horror starts crying and spits out a tooth
> blood everywhere
> deep cut in my hand that later got infected
> she is crying and bleeding out of her mouth
> my hand is bleeding bad
> the whole class looks in horror
> teacher comes in and sees the blood and the whole scenery
> feminazi teacher enters irrational feminazi-rage-mode
> doesnt listen to my explanation just yells and brings me to the principal
> almost got kicked out of school
> all the girls hate me
> all the boys tell me how cool it was

>>555564761
Wish a nigga would I haven't been on in weeks dgaf if I get banned

>>555555000
underage b&
"This happened couple months ago"
>be me 16

OP HERE I kinda always been a fighter
> 6th grade have like 3 beta friends
> 8th graders who always find the need to pick on is
> one of my friends during lunch throw milk at them
> funktheyremad.jpg
> come over "*fuckfuckfuck*
> Biggest one goes to my friend "wanna start something you little bitch"?
> beta at the time stays quiet, they push him we all stay quiet they walk away
> thatwasclose.png
> walk around campus notice assholes following us shit
> they catch up were next to the gym our usual hangout
> I'm the tallest one, but also scrawny, biggest one comes up to me this time
> *shit* he walks up immediately throws a barrage of punches at my chest
> at the time older brother was in boxing 5 years or so, I wasn't in my first year yet, but brother and I sparred
> fuck it hands up like we practiced
> dodging rolling, hands up like my brother showed me
> MFw it's actually working holy shit
> snags me a couple times, he lands a few good ones but I clearly win the fight, just exhanging punches not a special fight but one of my first real ones
> everyone makes fun of him for gettign beat up by 6th grader
> mfw they leave is alone because I actually survived the fight

>>555559536
>be nigger
>gang up 3v1 just like niggers would
>feel accomplished at being nigger

>>555555555

>>555559536
>be 3 niggers
>get beat up by one guy

>we kicked ass

right

>>555564841
stfu you immortal technique faggot.

>>555564619
more from same night
>been at bar rest of night
>leaving with some friends
>walking back to friends place
>happpen to run into same kid from before
>now with posse
>tries to start shit
>friend tells them to just leave well enough alone
>kid swings skateboard, connects with friends head
>now he's mad
>friend is 6'3" or so, 200lbs
>overhand punch to the kids head
>kid drops, so does friend continues punch all the way to the ground
>kids head bounces off sidewalk, blood everywhere
>walk home to friends house, continue drinking, no fucks given.