>>555294504 This actually happened to me once, but only because there was a blizzard that day because my birthday was in the winter. Or atleast that's what I was told happened, looking back at it now I don't even remember that much snow; maybe I was lonelier then I remember when growing up.
>>555295674 its a long history... > Im 16 > One day I meet a girl > Ohshititsperfect.jpg > Likes videogames good music etc > She's 21 yo > I text her with no hope to have a reply > She reply > friendshipstarts.jpg > i fall in love > She's very mind open and loves sex > Keep chating for a long time > She always said im too young for have sex with her > feelbad.jpg > Time pass and we are more friends > One day I went to her home > We played skyrim and laugh a lot > Minutes ago I leave she kiss me > Holyfuckingheaven.png > We talk about that and keep laughing > One day I went to her home again > She was sick and she don't hang out with her friends > We talked > Hug, Kisses > she let me lick her tits > Fucking heaven feeling > One day she gets mad at me for no reason > She stopped talking to me > I feel very bad > I get depressed > I remeber those days and I realize that s never gonna happen again > See her photos > Think about that > Get worse
Sorry my bad English im Spanish and im learning English so don't be dicks
>>555298418 felt it. felt it hard. >cousin killed by drunk driver when he was 8. >he lived with my family because his was super shitty. >grew up together. >basically best friends. >we'd ride bikes to the store some nights when our parents were asleep. >I was a jaywalker. >he always waited for the signal. >one night i made it across. >he never did.
>>555299264 man this was posted last night and i ended up depressed as shit until i fell asleep because of it. woke up depressed thinking about it in the middle of the night, and was fuckind epressed for the first 2 hours at work.
>>555293756 maybe if any of those activities expressed romantic interests, and not friendzone beta bullshit, you would figure out if the other person were interested in a relationship before investing years and months. Or you could always be less beta and let them know you're interested up front.
>>555307016 i just dont know why she keeps me around. she tells me she loves me and then acts distant. i don't want to make anything worse but i'm miserable most of the time, but those moments that she makes me happy just keeps making me forget. as miserable as i get, i still don't break contact..
>met an amazing 3.14 qt p2t fashion designer >she does crossfit as well /fit/izen reporting >all her friends tell me she's interested in me and finds me attractive >talk back and forth and them digits >texts and facebook messages all day everyday >we go out to dinner and the movies and take her home >no kiss but no worries >everythingwentbetterthanexpected.png >couple more dates >bring her over to my house to meet my parents and chill >in my bedroom cuddling and talking and playing around >she's a tumblrfag but gets my messed up jokes and understands my references >holy shit she's perfect >im laying down and out of no where she kisses me first >this is the greatest thing ever >kiss some more >ask her to be my gf .....
>tfw she's leaving to NY for her studies >tfw she's gonna be living with some other guy >tfw she can't be with anyone that's her religion
she didnt even consider her religion to be a factor until I asked her.
Wednesday we're having a movie night at my place to watch some animated DC movies (had in mind flashpoint and war). I'm supposed to get an answer that day but from the way she talked to me last night I'm sure she's not gonna say yes
the most compatible woman I have ever met, she stole my heart so quickly. I just want it to be Wednesday to get it over with
>>555307016 you got me /b/ro.. you got me so hard. Anyone help with this? Been a year and im sick of hearing "Just move on jesus" and "fuck sake dude just man up!" because some maybe are seen as beta but really we're just fragile.. some anon help. Inb4 fuck up
>met a girl in junior year of highschool >meh looks average >sit next to her during class >became friends >talked about random things >she has the weirdest laugh >goes on for a few months >one day I woke up realized I was in love with her >don’t tell her for two weeks >Found out she got a boyfriend during those two weeks >She tells me we'll never be more than friends >go home take a shower >fuckingbreakdownandcrythere.jpg >go to school next day >Her boyfriend drops her off in the classroom >Classmates notice how hurt I am >Friends approach me >Damn anon that must suck >Another day passes, I stop sitting next to her >We stop talking >I tell everyone I’m over her but I am still inlove with her >see her with her bf all the time >feels consume me like ants eating my heart out >Months pass Continued..
>>555307016 Describes my situation with my ex pretty well. Except she reminds me way too much of myself for me to love her still. I pity her, loathe her, want to love her and want her to be happy but I can't manage to. Just like myself
>>555309891 >it’s senior year >Hadn’t really thought about her that much over the course of summer >In my classroom, some language subject, English I think >I’m grouped up this girl >lets call the first girl E and the second girl J >Got grouped up with J for some class work >Develop a crush on her >Time passes, me and J hang out sometimes >I drop her off >happy fucking camper >realize I don’t think about E anymore >Feelsgoodtomoveon.jpg >more time passes >walking down school hall >run into E, like literally im running and I almost tackled her ass >stop and say sorry, run to class >After school I see E >I talk >Me and her remember how close we were >I feel nothing anymore fuck yes >Give her my number >we text regularly
>more time passes, first senior semester is over >me and E are tight as fuck >me and J got some casual flirting thingy going on, but she has ex bf problems >Found out E broke up with her BF >comfort E >draw some cheesy fucking bullshit for E >E thanks me >me and E stay up all night talking about love and stupid highschool shit >we do this for a few weeks, every single night >Realize I am in fucking love with E again >FUCKNOWHYGODDUMBASS.PNG >Feel like a stupid fuckhead >decide to tell E Continued..
>Be me >Only two, my father left ne >living with my grandmother and meth addicted mother >they always get into fights, find out I have a lifelong disease >I can't eat any wheat or gluten, if I eat too much ill eventually starve to death >my grandmother is poor, she cant afford to feed my sister and I >mother has douche bf, he gives her meth >live like this from the time when I was born to when I was five >my dad comes back one day, tells me he'll fight for custody to get me out of the hellhole >he eventually gets custody, after a long legal battle
Ill keep writing if people bump, I dont want thins thread to 404 (it gets better)
>>555311837 >Told E >She said I’m sorry >she still doesn’t feel the same way >she keeps giving me mixed fucking signals >maybe Im just a stopgap for her breakup? >tell E that its okay even though im dying inside >She tells me we can still be friends >I said okay but don’t talk to her as often anymore >During all my time with E, realized I missed a chance with J >more time passes >its graduation >Cant stand the fact that im so hungover her like some fucking loser >Its summer >time passes, I still think about her every now and then >Doesn’t hurt as much anymore >apply for college >get into college >take IT as my course >go to school first day >FUCKING E IS THERE >WE’RE IN THE SAME FUCKING COURSE
>be me >have awesome dad >I swear that guy loved me so much >I would even hear about him bragging about me to his friends >took me to baseball games almost every week >then it all changed >diagnosed with ALS >his body started shutting down >regardless, he still took me to do fun stuff, even was my baseball coach >disease kept getting worse >gets to the point where he can't walk or talk, needs a machine to even breathe >still is an awesome dad though >one night, stops breathing >doesn't make it >dies on my birthday
>that happened 7 years ago >always wondered why he tried so hard, even put himself at risk, to make me happy >then I realized he loved me so much, he didn't even care about himself
>>555311770 Madoka episode 10 The end of Code Geass The deaths of Kamina and Nia in TTGL Nina in FMA Chihiro throwing away her diary in ef a tale of memories Yuuko dying in ef a tale of melodies Episode 20 of K-ON season 2 Hachikuji disappearing in Monogatari 2nd season Miuna getting rejected in Nagi no Asukara Episode 10 of Angel Beats, and the end The end of Guilty Crown That fucking dream sequence in Ika Musume The entirety of Grave of the Fireflies Saber disappearing in Fate/stay night (but the anime was shit anyway)
>>555312797 >I didn’t know anyone else >saw E sitting in the lobby >approached her >We hit it off like nothing ever happened >we never talk about it >its okay though, it was nice to have a friend there >we’re sitting in class together >classmates think we’re a couple >I tell them we’re not >its okay, I like hanging out with E >About a month of college passes >Me and E are tight as fucking fuck >Im a fucking dirtbag though so I started cutting class >first it was just like one class a week >became every fucking day all day >E gets mad at me >still stopped going to school >I pick E up after her classes though >we hang out eat lunch >couple without a label >asked myself what the fuck am I doing with E? >what are we exactly? >started smoking >Time passed
i wish i had a dad who loved me as a kid instead i have depression and panic sudden panic attacks because he beat me and my mom.
i sometimes stepped in between of him and her full-on fighting about some most fucking trivial things. those times didnt go so well and i was beat even more.
the worst was when my mom wanted to sleep a little earlier after a long day and my dad started beating her because of that.
i feel so fucking bad all the time because i excepted my dad to change but i was met with another beating. now im a fucking 260pound kissles virgin manlet who hasnt even held a girls hand and had no dad role model to teach me about girls
when does the ride end?
sorry for possible typos and shitty formating, im on mobile.
>>555314070 >I am so fucking inlove with this girl >I don’t know if I should tell her or not >She never tells me how she feels >Maybe she loves me too? >we are so fucking close, we talk about everything, personal problems, random nonsense, etc etc. >I’m terrified at the thought of rejection >decide not to tell her >Dropped out of college >Me and E don’t see eachother as often anymore, we still talk on the phone though >Found out some big fucking alpha as fuck dude starts crushin on E >Me and E are close as fuck so she tells me every single thing about him >All the fucking details, what he does, what he says, how he looks >I die a little everytime More otw…
This story is not mine, many of you will not have seen this. Lets go.
So I have a story to get off my chest. I don't ever write in green text so this is going to be different for me. This is the story of how I met a girl online, and the multi year journey that it took me though to get where I am today.
>Be 21. >Just started a new business after a few years of floundering around. >Bad breakup just months before, no money, lots of stress - lonely. >Get on omegle. >Sea of flopping meats crashing against my computer screen looking for cyber pussy. >Then it happens... someone who seems to want to hold a conversation.
I happen to have saved the whole conversation, so I can draw from it for the purpose of this story...
>start out with humor, she joins right in. >there's something different, it becomes obvious within the first few minutes. This isn't a trap, this isn't a lonely guy... Theres a sweetness here. >learn that we are on opposite ends of the country, she is multinational, parents from different countries settled in 'merica. >what started as a light hearted conversation about accents deepens. >I tell about my business, joke and self depricate. >she shows genuine interest in me as a person, doesn't start panning for gold. we talk about my art. >send her to some of my work, she is surprised that it isn't bottom tier, and actually pretty unique and interesting. >we become very open very quickly about ourselves and begin to tell each other things that I wouldn't dream of telling someone I know in person. >I find out that she is a student, probably much younger than I am. >summer time so she is on break. She tells me about her interest in movies. >recommends Taxi Driver by De Niro - the mood of this movie is this girl. >she raves about the movie, tells me how perfect it is.
>>555315039 if you did then you're far from alone. When I wake up early to take a shower it all dawns on me and I struggle to embrace the day. But inevitably I break out the smile mask. Sometimes, though, as I drift into sadness and utter disaffection in the late hours of the night I feel a glimmer of resolution and hope as dawn breaks. It never comes to fruition, though, and again the cycle repeats.
>mention that I started writing a journal, my own time capsule and auto-biography to preserve what little of myself I can when I'm gone. >both of us are procrastinators, my journal that was topping 25000 words at the time was my greatest achievement. >she tells me about her journal that she began to keep, but the realities of her life made her sad to revisit. >she tries to play off her bittersweet sadness and deep hurt as humor. >I see past it, I tell her about why I started the journal, and how by revisiting it over and over, the pain of the first entry eventually became funny to me. I had moved past the pain, into a new reality. >she hangs on every word, being supportive, interested giving feedback and growing the conversation. >at this point I'm begining to feel something, and hoping against all hope that she is really a she. >these are strange feelings.
>the mystery of this stranger, the connection that I feel, the wonder - hoping I'm not connecting with someone and feeling emotions with a beast or a guy on the other side. >Minutes turn to hours, and somewhere in the middle of the conversation my responses slow. >She picks up where I trail off, she tells me that this is the most communication she's had with someone in a long time. >She doesn't like people, she's happiest when isolated, she's lonely. >then the bomb drops... 'Ive been telling myself "I'm going to kill myself tomorrow" and then tomorrow comes and I dont and do you know why? Because I'm tired, haha, life physically I feel sleepy so I'll fall asleep instead.'
>>555312639 No one cares anyways, but I need to get this off my chest.
>>everything is great after a while, we move in with my dad and his girlfriend >his girlfriend, we'll call her J, had two daughters >I grow up with them, they become my sisters >I love everyone in my family so much >fast forward four years >im nine, I still live with my father >I never really see him, hes busy hunting mexifags trying to cross the border >he becomes my hero >I idolize him, no one told me anything different >that same year, he files for a divorce >I find out that he was cheating on J since they first started dating >it was with some old flame he had >she looks at his facebook >he was calling her a bitch, talking about how he hopes she dies >I live with her by then, she took care of my sister and I since we first went with our dad >see her bawling on the ground one day, she has a breakdown >she walks into the bathroom, and cuts all of her hair off >she just found out that my father was moving the woman he had an affair with into the same town as us >they move in together, J doesnt have a job >we're living in poverty, the most expensive thing I had was a gameboy advanced SP >hes taking cruises with his girlfriend >never talks about his children >one day, I decide to visit him >apparently his girlfriend had three kids >one of her kids was around my age, his name was William >become best fucking friends with william >I visited just to talk to him >one day, he tells me that hes suicidal >convinces his mom to take him back to california, to live with his alcoholic grandpa >tfw I lost my best friend >end up living with my dad >J decides to tell me the truth about him >she tells me that the only reason why he wanted custody of me was for child support and because she made him >tells me that the only reason he got his job as a border patrol agent was because she wrote a letter supporting him Will continue, if you want it.
>I've been pacing her and responding, talking and sharing. But this hit me like a million needles. >I stop. Every word must be chosen carefully. >I take what feels like hours for every word. >From getting sleepy to wired. >Begin neutrally, don't react anon. >Start to share my own experience that I went through. >she jumps into support mode, trying to walk me through like a dog with a broken foot she can nurse back to health. >I ignore her, there is a point to my story. There is a light at the end of these tunnels, and she can't pretend to be a tour guide until she's seen it for herself. >I explain how bad it got, how devastatingly close I came to utter apathy. The symptoms I didn't even know I had. Then I described the turning point for me. >I reached out for human connection and wasn't rejected by those around me who loved me. >she tries to nurse, I turn the tables on her. >I demand to know her situation, this is nolonger about me. >she shares, I monologue...
>"I feel like you might be a really good listener, maybe too good. I can only try to relate with you based on how I see the world from my own experience. But it sounds like you do a fantastic job of making other people feel listened to and heard. I get that, I understand that, I am and have been that. But it's funny, the more we listen. The more we let other people talk, doing for them and facilitating them, making them feel good and heard and positive about their life or accomplishments - the less they listen to us. The less they can or know how to listen to us. It's funny because what you or I are doing for them is what I and maybe you wish they would do back. But then it doesn't happen, and doesn't happen and then we forget how to talk it seems like." >what was sentence long replies turns into half page long responses seperated by brutal pauses in time.
>>555315039 Did you anon? that is the question. >>555315285 >More time passes >E broke that guy’s heart >HAHAHA FUCKING FGT ALRIGHT FUCKYEAH.JPG >First year of college passes >E is always busy so we don’t hangout as often >im just a dropout fucking NEET >we meet about twice a month >I buy her random stuff >she buys me books, I like reading >Ask E why she never got a bf again, its been like almost two years since she broke up with her last one >she tells me that she feels numb when it comes to guys >I know she feels something for me I just fucking know it >Months pass, me and E don’t talk as often only about once every ten days or so >me and E only meet up every two months or so >E’s cousin happens to be one of my best bro’s, lets call him G >G is also a dropout Fuck this is hard, more otw
>>555294504 This reminded me of a story that happened to my aunt. Hope you enjoy it.
>be my aunt >Be 11/22/1963 >be her 7th birthday >have birthday party planned after school >all her friends are invited >president gets assassinated >no one comes to her party >her parents too afraid to explain to their seven year old daughter that no one came to her party cause the leader of the free world is kill >she thinks its cause no one likes her >cry for 3 days straight >you will never know that feel
Opening Up to Anna >we are opening up, from thousands of miles away our souls have been fully exposed and we touch each others spirit for one moonless night. >I'm in amazement that I can stare at my screen, rereading each word from each response, memorizing my words and hers, so fully in the moment so, incredibly engaged. >She shares with me how she hates having to pretend to be happy so that those around her will accept her. >Family doesn't understand her and her love of solitude. >she is punished for being solitary. She pretends that everything is ok while secretly withering away. She surrounds herself with people, while becoming ever lonlier. >She enjoys the long silences in conversation, she sees beauty in the pause. But those "normal people" around her feel that the pauses are awkward. >I listen, oh do I listen, she needs an ear. One that won't attack her for who she is. This is a tender time, she's reaching out for help. So deep into this pit has she fallen that even a complete stranger has received her undivided attention and trust. >I realize that this connection could die at any moment. Terror sheer terror strikes me that I could lose the one thread of communication that I have to this stranger. The feelings of loss and heartache wrench my insides as if it's already happened. >I imagine myself swimming out to sea as the sun sets and she is carried away on a boat, never to be seen or heard from by me again. >How could I ever find her again?
>I ask for a way to get in contact when we finish. >she gives me an e-mail address, it's a girl's name. it matches up with the names in the country of origin she told me she was from. >relief from every angle, it's a girl, beautiful name, I'll call her Anna, but you would die if you knew the beauty that is her real name. >we carry on for a few more long messages and our conversation comes to a close. >send her an e-mail and she responds back. >I fall asleep, my mind in a million places.
We got disconnected after I sent her my "hello" e-mail. she hadn't responded and my mind was in a million places.
>Middle of the night, I wake up to the ding of an e-mail. >the disorientation of a nearly sleepless night and the emotional roller coaster of Anna and my conversation floods my conscious. >She's drugged me from thousands of miles. >I respond, surprised and elated that she actually responded and that the e-mail was real. >not until late evening of the next day does she get back with me. >We talk about Taxi Driver. My appreciation for her melancholy deepens. The mood of this movie so perfectly captures our interaction. >We e-mail, messages between us are deep and thoughtful. Our responses seperated by hours and days now. But the intimacy hasn't waned. >Her supportiveness to my daily life, my genuine interest in hers. >For a time we share everything. >I am about to ask for a number, any way to further contact. We send each other one very long message each, then nothing. >I e-mail her once more, a continuation of my previous e-mail. Perhaps she just missed it. >I obsess over why I haven't heard back. Every waking minute is consumed with the thought of her. >Hours, turn into days, I fear the worst. I wonder if she has truly ended it all. >days into weeks, I search for her on facebook, exhaust all of the limited options I have. The craziness that is my business descends on my time and I slowly heal the tear in my soul. >eventually I all but forget about her. Business has picked up, money in my pocket. But still single. >no one has engaged me like she did.
>>555316594 Thank you anon <3 ive drunk texted her and shes added me on snapchat and whatnot. Its almost like she teases me but whenever i would go to say anything (never directed it only to her) she would ignore it. Her mums a lawyer and dad owns a huge oil distributor and im just.. nothing. Im only 17 but the crushing pain is definitely not just "Puppy love" or infatuation. A year on and i still can look at other girls and feel interested never mind bother with them. People always tell me to move on.. its not so easy done, its like i need her to be happy even after all this time :(
Footnotes and Feelers >A year passes, and she has become all but a footnote in my now 50,000 word journal. I pass the copy of our conversation while scrolling to the bottom of my word document from time to time. Every time I consciously think about it, a little pang of longing, the feeling of something missing in my gut springs up. >I look through my old e-mails one day and come across our conversation in gmail. >I send out a feeler,
"I was reading an old journal entry and saw you in the pages somewhere. I hope you found your way through the forest.
>underneath is my contact info for my business, phone number etc. She could reach me if she wants to. >I shot it off, and didn't think much more about it. I wondered what became of her, I imagined that she had recovered and was glad to have closed the chapter of her life that I was a part of. But again I eventually forgot about her.
>In the mean time, I have brought in some new interns to my business. Useless kids with no drive. I immerse myself in trying to conquer my weaknesses. I am hopelessly disorganized and a convicted procrastinator. Despite myself I gain more clients and slowly begin to get ahead. Whereas when I started the business, I literally couldn't make a $10 purchase online without the fear of overdrafting. Now I was able to get out and do things.
>>555315975 i tried anon trust me i was really into gym and went there for 4 months but i dont know if i can anymore. i just cant bring myself to go there anymore i reached 60kg bench and other amazing stuff for me but i just cant anymore
>be me >10 years old, grade 6 >i was a really good kid, bad at school though >lots of friends, loving family >meet new girl >Cecelia >being friendly, i became friends with her pretty quick >she was 12 (i was young for my grade, there was a huge gap) >she starts giving me weird things >one of those dancing hamsters >a charm from her grandmother? >go over to her house one day >it's on a corner near my school >smells like mildew and some of the floor is rotting >her mother is high, pregnant >her brother is really, really weird >her grandfather is the creepiest motherfucker i will ever remember >no phone >slight internet >i think i want to go home >Cecelia tells me to stay and play >go to bathroom >grandfather comes in >starts talking to me >i'm fucking 10 i don't know what the shit is going on >he starts filling up the tub >i finish going and try to wash my hands >grabs me suddenly >shoves my head under the water of the bathtub >lose my virginity to my friend's grandpa and older brother >they tape it >they threaten to kill my pets if i tell >never tell my parents >at school a few days later >Cecelia comes to me >"come over after school today anon" >i don't know why >i'll never know why >i went over to Cecelia's house
not really baww at all but needed to air the laundry
>>555317445 i know exactly how you feel, but its no lie that time heals all wounds. if you find somebody or something else to fill up your time, she'll just disappear. you should just drop her now, itll save you a lot a of time and frustration if that'll be the end result in 14 years.
These threads are my guilty pleasure. You /b/ros are my only friends after all others abandoned me and only talked to me when they needed drugs. No one will truly love me, I'm not sure if I'll ever meet someone who will truly understand me. But as someone with insomnia, spending late nights on these threads, with you guys, listening to your problems and trying to give my support, I don't feel alone. I love you /b/ I've spent my birthdays with you when none of my "friends" would like we planned and I'll be there for yours
>>555314728 I'm trying to live life again, get away from the computer. Apparently I've developed an actual addiction, but I don't care. This is my safe place. Here my thoughts can rest and I can forget about this dreadful reality for a while.
Later on in summer I'll finally get proper treatment for my PTSD. I wish it was over already and that I could just be a functioning human being again. I want to go out and have fun and socialize and enjoy life. And instead I'm sitting here at 4 am like a fucking NEET and will miss half the next day, where I should be studying for an exam. I feel like a complete failure.
My brother died when I was 16. He steered his motorcycle against a tree, in the city. His buddy was on the bike and died as well. They were probably drunk, but there was no autopsy. I couldn't handle it, I was already a weak teenager riddled with anxiety and with few friends. I kept it shut away in me, played it off, I pretended to be okay whenever I was asked. I wasn't. I was getting worse and worse over time. It's a wonder I passed school. It's also a wonder that I didn't commit suicide.
I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just want it all to finally come to an end, I want the suffering to stop. If there is a hell, I'm not afraid of going there. I cannot imagine it being worse than what I've already lived through.
This probably sounds pathetic and it's not even greentext. Just fuck off. I'll take a swig of rum and go to bed.
>>555316556 >me and G hang out a lot, makes life seem less boring >Start doing random hookups with this girl named A >E doesn’t know about her, it’s the only thing I haven’t told her yet, apart from the part that I loved her >Me and A bangin like every week now >A tells me she loves me >I cant fucking look her in the eye and say that this was only sex for me >I made her fucking cry.jpg >never talk to A again >realized that A was just a random sealant that I used for the hole that E left >Talk to E that same night > tell her I miss hanging out with her >Hang out with E, Asked her is she still felt that she couldn’t love a guy anymore, she said yes >Me and E talk on the phone like every night again >time passes >year or so >My family wants to move abroad in about 8 months >Realize theres nothing I can do about it, Im a NEET >tell E that im leaving >she gets so fucking sad >me and E talk about it >I tell her she’ll find a great guy one day >months pass >I know E loves me, all her friends have told me, I see the way she looks at me, I see the way she acts when Im with some random girl >I fucking love E too, I wonder if she’s ready to love again? >Its fucking almost Christmas >Tell E that I want to meet with her on Christmas eve, one last big bang for the 5 years Ive known her
>>555320165 >I had a whole evening planned out, she would’ve loved it >I was gonna tell her how much I loved her >that I was willing to stay in the country for her, I would work, get my own place, and do it just so I could stay with her > E texted me the night before xmas eve, tell me not to forget about our date! She sounds really excited >So its xmas eve I text her that Im otw to our usual meeting spot >Im at our spot but she isn’t >call her and everything shes not picking up >wtf happened to you E where are you? >Call her over and over >Waited at our spot for two hours, close to tears, not knowing what E really thought of me >Fucking smoked then left that place >found out later that E had no valid excuse not to see me >7 days before leaving the country >E wasn’t ready >I was inlove with her all this time, I was going to tell her how much I needed her > she didn’t even fucking show >that week passes, drink so much with my friends prolly got liver cancer right now >At the airport >E calls me >tells me she’s sorry >that she’ll miss me >I said I would see her in a few years, we would maintain little contact >She said that when I come back there she’ll be ready, she’ll be ready to say that she loves me too >I said we could do whatever we want with our lives, But one day I’ll go back to E >So here I am, life back on track, One day Ill see you E >one day ill tell you just exactly how I felt > You said we would name our daughter alice if we ever had one >Me and E don’t talk too often >sure you could call this fucking stupid or retarded > But I love her, I really do, one day, /b/ one day, atleast let me fucking hope that somewhere in this miserable life we can get the girl > one day anons, one day ill have her
Anyone looking for a friend? I'm not a neckbeard living in his mom's basement. I'm 30, male, tall and slender, fairly good looking, employed and self sufficient.
Old enough to have 'been there' but not too old to not remember what its like. You can email me if you want someone to talk to. I'm not judgemental and this isn't a scam or something where I'm trying to collect email addresses. You can reach me at:
>>555317735 >go back to Cecelia's house every couple days a week >this goes on for 3 months >luckily i haven't had my period yet >the mother sees what's going on >i never say anything to my parents >i just go home every time after and watch spongebob >i always check that my cats are inside before i go to bed just in case >started not going to school at all since i don't want to see my friends or Cecelia >Cecelia fucking knows what her family is doing to me, that's why she gives me gifts >start rapidly losing friends >teachers call my parents asking why i'm not going >parents just don't know >my older sister has severe depression and a lot of illnesses so they are constantly driving to sick kid's hospitals >i don't blame them for not having the time >teachers come up with a compromise that i just go to school in the afternoon >start trying >A different friend comes to me >she's been my friend since kindergarten >"anon, I'm going to Cecelia's house after school, you should come too" >fear >i remember the complete panic i had >i didn't want them doing it to her >or maybe i didn't want them to give their sick attention to someone else >i don't know even now >tell her not to go >beg her not to >she doesn't >i do >lose that friend because she thought i didn't want to hang out with her >Cecelia's grandfather kisses me on the mouth >"i missed you"
>>555316290 >find out that the one person that I idolized, that I thought would never let me down, was actually a failure >he started getting an alcohol addiction >last name mihalik, was considered the town drunk after a while >people would start calling him "Alcomihalik" >his girlfriend is fucking poisonous >tfw a mom with three kids destroyed your entire family >dad still has alcohol addiction >hes fat now >depressed, no money >I still cant bring myself to talk to him >im waiting for his girlfriend to die >I lost my best friend, my father, and my happiness over this bitch >I just want it to end.
>home sick, brothers supposed to be going out to college for an appointment with his counselor >My parents call home around 2 asking if I saw him today. >He never showed up at his meeting and no one has heard from him. >Later that night they find his body in the woods. His birthday is next week /b, help me feel *something*. All I can do is miss the little things and I just keep pretending his still around, just not here. I can't be weak in front of my parents and they want to go out to "celebrate him" on his birthday. All I wanna do is curl up and avoid life.
>>555320829 >every time i visit it's the same thing >atleast they don't try to drown me anymore >i think i'm getting desensitized to it >time goes on, i'm 11 >i go to Cecelia's house without her asking >not even knowing if she's there >i fantasize about killing them >but i still go every time and don't fight >they never mark me >parents never find out >one day i stab one >i don't remember thinking about it >i was bent over the kitchen counter and saw a knife >things just went on from there >grandpa was fine since i'm a little kid and the knife was dull >shoves me away, i leave >wash off on a neighbors lawn sprinkler >go home, watch cartoons >one day Cecelia's family moved away >there was no warning >they were just gone >i knew i should have felt relief, but there was a part of me that felt empty >like i went through all that and for what? >i started sleeping in a cot in my parents room >they don't know what the fuck to do >i see a therapist >i see many therapists >but i'm fucking 10 >they said they'll kill my pets >i say nothing >i start going back to school >i have none of the same friends >just lonliness >start having cybersex with strangers on the internet >i'm 12 >fantasize over being taken by an older man >enter highschool >meet friends >stay friends >going to college this year >never could hold a steady bf >always wanted to, but always wanted to go too far, too soon >always pretended i "wasn't like other girls" >life goes on >keep looking forward >things will work out
>>555321209 Yeah I've got my life together now. Im older, but no matter who I'm with she's still that one girl that I just cant let go of, we've known eachother for so damn long that I when It comes to her I know I cant fucking fail anymore. >Also forgot to mention that i started working out a while back >Rekt af now
Whether you believe in this shit or not, it was really sweet. >There's this girl who's been one of my closest friends my entire life >Met in pre school >She's a year older than me, has sister that's about 6-8 (not sure exactly) years older than I am >Hang out with the two of them all of the time >Fast forward to my eighth grade year and my friend's freshman year of high school >Friend's sister is in college >Coming back from a band trip when I get a text >"Come over it's urgent" >I respond asking what's wrong >Friend tells me sister killed herself >She had been struggling with various mental illnesses but this was still a shock >Lots of grieving, friend has hard time recovering from it >Fast forward almost a year >In that time, my friend and I have been smoking a lot of pot >One day I come over to her house >She shows me this Ouija board with pizzas on it that she and her friend drew when they were baked >We decide to try it out for shits and giggles >Use bottle cap as planchette >To our surprise, the thing actually moves >She thinks I'm moving it, I'm not >We ask if the sister is there >Cap moves to "yes" >Friend asks if sister has anything she wants to tell her >"Yes" >"What is it?" >"I love you."
>>555324557 My parents had him cremated, and the urn in the living room really just doesn't do the same thing, man. It's like he's just gone on a long trip. His room is still set up exactly the same after all these months and everything.
I remember how I kept imagining my brother just storming in through the front door like he used to, with that basket full of dirty clothes for the washing machine. It was so odd not to see him anymore.
This fucking life, man. I sincerely hope you'll get better and that the pain stops by itself.
Im afraid to close this thread down. Been here from when it was created or thereabouts... I dont want to be alone /b/ros... I dont want to feel those feels when the red 4chan logo comes up and the text "404 Not found" comes up..I dont want to hurt anymore over her. But if this thread does close soon. Bear in mind that i unconditionally love all of you, you can go back to being like the other /b/'ers or you can choose to be happy and optimistic.. Love you all
>>555320789 Maybe I could also use a friend, maybe you'd be helping me out too. While we have our irl friends sometimes an anonymous friend is more helpful in certain ways.
Sometimes its nice to get to know someone and let them get to know you as well without actually being in each other's lives, unable to affect each other's circumstances. This sort of arrangement fosters the kind of honesty and genuineness that is often absent in the majority of our real life relationships.
Honestly Anon. Win or Lose, that's still a better love story than I'll ever have. That sounds fucking hard as hell. But your a better guy cuz you went through all of that. You'll get her op, I promise.
>>555326073 I love you to man, i love you to. My heart really hurts from reading all this stuff. We just have to remember that there is someone for all of us out there we just have to get up and find that special someone
>>555326627 >>555326073 Everyone on /b/ has a story. We fuck around a lot but we're all waiting for that one day that we can feel fucking human. Just waiting for a life that has meaning. Just screen cap some stuff for epic feels ammunition.
I miss coming home and sitting down in front of the tv, waiting for my favorite show to come on.
I miss when my friends and I picked up sticks and pretended we were sword fighting with them.
Middle school came and ruined everything. Got separated from my best friend, had to deal with some shitty people. Eventually, I got excited for high school, I thought I'd wind up meeting some cute girl, have a relationship and have sex. It never happened, but, it would have been nice.
I'm getting ready for my next semester at college, and in the back of my mind, I'm wondering if it's worth it. I guess I'll have to find out for myself.
>>555326654 Damn it felt fucking great to share my story. Maybe we all dont know eachother but then again maybe thats the point? We can show eachother knowing that it wont affect us IRL. /b/ is like my second family. Btw, best baaawww thread in a while.
I hate waking up. Almost every morning I feel like I suppose a transexual person feels. That they're trapped in their own body, born the opposite of what they're supposed to be. But instead of wanting to be a woman, I just want to be happy.
I go to sleep with that feeling as well, but it's not as bad. Maybe because I know I won't be awake much longer, and dreaming is so much better than living.
>depression started in 7th grade >lost most of my friends >turned to the internet and vidya instead of friends >think it will get better in highschool and I will make more friends >highschool >make a few good friends >summer >friends don't really do anything >have barely talked to them >one of my friends from my old school >kinda weird relationship, we only really text even though we go to the same school and the only time we have ever hung out was when there was a anime con in town (oh he is a /b/tard also) >texting him >he is telling me about when he was hanging out with other friends >loneliness hits >mfw I haven't talked to a girl my age in over a year
God damn it, I hate the summer I wish I could go back to being happy when I wasn't on my computer with online friends all day.
Hey /b/, I was just diagnosed with acute leukaemia last weekend. I'm also in the process of finishing a worthless degree, as well as having a pregnant girlfriend with no means of providing for her or the baby. But I'm happy. Soon, I'll be leaving this place. While you guys cry over a broken heart, I'll cease to exist. I'll be free of any stress. I need you guys to do me a favour.
Don't stoop to my point. Don't let death be a relief. Be happy.
>>555329160 I think something in between is nice. Like not total, complete strangers but also someone that doesn't even know your real first and last name, someone that you can talk to regularly with and gain a repoire with while still being unable to affect each other's lives. You know what I mean? Because a level of caring and emotional intimacy will develop, you're each interested to learn what's going on in the other's life but you ultimately don't know who they really are in the real world.
>>555309279 made me feel hard. just moved away from a girl that in my mind was the most beautiful and compatible person I've ever met in my life. in my years I've never met a person this amazing before. I loved her. and she never knew. and she never will. and the shittiest part of it all was I think she loved me back, because of the ways she acted around me. I was too pussy to do anything. now she's gone. I think about her everyday. sorry for my English
>>555331295 There aren't any lies here. I think that is why it is so meaningful. This is the hate machine of the internet. Vile, disgusting, horrible. You come on here and say you're suicidal, 9 times out of 10, you'll be rewarded with a chorus of "Do it faggot" and "livestream that shit". We're depraved, but we're more than that. We're contrast. In the real world, almost nobody would tell you to kill yourself, or even let you go through with it. People have duty, moral responsibility. Here? None of that exists. We are the darkness so that somewhere, there can be true light. Love is meaningless without hate. Anon, I love you because this is a place where love does not thrive. You know I am sincere, because I have no reason not to be. I care about you, each and every one of you.
>be walking around city center >chilling, drinking soda, smoking some cigs >decide to go back home >take casual route in order to see more people >look in the distance, see ex gf comming my way >wtf >shes gets near and near >get to the unnavoidable meeting >"how you doing?" I say >she just hugs me and doens't let me go >hear crying >still hugging me >I reciprocrate the hug, pat her on the head >she keeps hugging me >finally she looks at me, crying >I ask her if everythings fine >she says yes >I ask "are you sure?" >she says yeah while still crying >kiss her on the cheek, she sobs >she kisses me too >hug her >hold her hand >"I gotta go home, dear" >"ok, I'm gonna eat" still sobbing >hold her hands while going my way >our figers still touching >never look back
We broke up last september and we never spoke since, we've seen eachother in numerous occasions, including one day that I travelled to another town and saw her there in the subway. But never met in such an unnavoidable way.
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