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I just jacked off after cutting a bunch of habaneros and my dick

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 82
Thread images: 16

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I just jacked off after cutting a bunch of habaneros and my dick is on fire. How do I stop the burn. not even trolling right now.
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>>552610794
dip it in milk? it's worth a shot
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wenis in glas of milk
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>>552610794
I've been in this exact situation before, dip your cock in glass of milk.
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call 911 or you might lose your cock op
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im trying a paper towel. I only have almond milk will it work?
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>>552610794
slump your cock in milk
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>>552610939
i thought about the same, just a random guess
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milk will make it worse, stick it in a bowl of eggs.
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>>552610939
>>552610952
milk doesn't do shit

use some cheapass vodka, ethanol dissolves capsaicin
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>>552611097
i dont know. i think its the proteins in regular milk that break down the capsaicin or capriscin or however you spell it... does almond milk have proteins?
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>>552610939
>>552610952
>>552611000
These 3 fags know that feel.
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>>552610794
That happened to me the other day with jalapeƱo peppers. I actually got on Reddit and someone recommended poring milk over my cock. and it fucking worked.
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>>552611202
listen to this man. alcohol wash is the way to go
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I've done this before with another pepper.

Just stick your dick in a glass of milk.

It helps.
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Fuck a loaf of bread
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>>552611202
This is actually the correct answer, you surprise me /b/
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>>552611447
>poor fuel on the fire
sounds legit.
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>>552610794
do a barrell roll
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>>552611357
Yea I cut up like a whole grocery bag full of habeneros and made sauce out of them. Then my hands started to burn because I was dumb and didn't wear gloves. So I washed my hands really thoroughly and went about my night. Ended up in bed with my gf fingering her then she started to complain about it burning so I figured I'd just finish her off with my dick and we both ended up with spicy genitals. I wouldn't be lying if I told you she soaked a tampon in milk.
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>>552611575
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>>552611575
/thread
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I was going to say milk, but since everyone is giving that advice I'm going to recommend lemon juice
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cut your dick off, op, its the only sure way
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>>552610794
marinate in milk for 5 hours.
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OP I had this but on both of my hands. Bad news: If it's burning, it's too late. Good news: Dip your dick in a glass of cold milk/sour cream/anything.

Worse news: The burning will continue for 6-8 hours. I suggest getting glasses of milk with ice in them lined up to switch out when the burning gets unbearable.
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>>552611575
lol

also didnt you wash your hands, faggot?
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>>552611146
this
>>552611447
and then this
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>>552611870
Then eat the cheese it creates?
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>>552610794
Medfag here, dip it in some vinegar. The acid will neutralize the capsaicin, leave it in for about 20 seconds and wash it off.

The burning will continue for a bit, as its already inflamed. If you have it, rub on some hydro cortisone cream.
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>>552610794
stick penis in ice cream
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>>552611202
This answer is correct
>>
Wash your dick with soap and water you fucking retard. The oil from the peppers is an acid, you need a base (soap) to neutralize it. Vinegar would also do the trick.
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>>552611679
>soaked a tampon in milk
Damn it lol.
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>>552610794
As has been stated, either moo juice or the sauce.

I wouldn't know what works best because I'm not stupid enough to jerk off after getting my hands covered in capsaicin...

You dumb fuck.
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>>552610794
Whipped cream

Must be real whipped cream, not hydrogenated oil
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>>552611432
reddit faggot detected
also OP you probably gave your girlfriend vaginal prolapse from sticking your spicy sausage up her cooter
>>
UPDATE

so I tried a paper towel with water and the burning got worse.
I got a glass of almond milk and dipped the dick in and in 2 mins it feels much better.
thank got I live alone.
>>
Capsaicin molcules are soluble in alcohols and fats. You'll need to apply one of these solvents to the area to lift the capsaicin molecules from the surface of your skin.
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>>552612095
>suggest you need a base, then say vinegar will work.

Gtfo. Vinegar will work, but it's not a base.
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>>552611319
Cows milk has a lot of emulgators which help dissolving the capsaicin in it. There's no enzyme in milk that metabolizes capsaicin.
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>>552612095
>oil is an acid
>implying vinegar is a base

Are you a complete fucking dipshit??
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>>552610794
My big bro once did this, he told me he dipped it in cold water, but it didn't help, so he also tried milk, and that worked a lot better
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>>552611575
>>
>>552612095
Soap is alkaline (not base), vinegar is most definitely acid.
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>>552612293
>alcohol and fats
OP could just fuck his mom.
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>>552610794
stick your dick in milk
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>>552612275
Finally humanity found a use for almond milk.
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>>552610794
OP u r sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid! U make my day, shitlord! I just cant stop laughing
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>>552612330
Your point being what, dipshit? I said you need a base, which is correct, then I added that vinegar would also work, I didn't imply it was a base, you assumed that's what I was saying, your fault not mine. Go fuck yourself with a rusty rake.
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>>552612429
Tyranosaurus rekt
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I know this feel. I always play with my balls and after cutting chillis it fucking stings
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>>552611679
40/10

Holy shit
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>>552610794
I do this on a regularly basis (not fap though, go for a piss before washing my hands)
Just wait it out. The burn won't be so bad in 30minutes
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>>552611610
>poor
>taking the 'fire' literally

>>552612275
It won't last long, get that vodka.

That's why mexicans invented tequila to go with jalapenos.
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>>552611202
>>552611447
>>552611606
>>552612071
DO NOT, I REPEAT..DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE TROLLERS. THIS WILL MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE.
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>>552612868
What? When im drinking, and i eat something spicy like a jalapeno i get the hiccups..
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>>552612275
Jesus FUCK people are stupid.
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>>552610794
really you just need any sort of fatty medium that will neutralize the burning sensation

Milk will work -- but more effectively if it's full milk, not the fat free shit.


medifag here
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>>552612429
Kekkest top
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>>552612429
Oh hell this thread is fucking golden
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>>552610794
milk is no good OP. It will only work in a couple days. Go with ketchup. The acid in the ketchup neutralizes the capsaicin. Pro tip: Vinegar will only irritate it more as well.
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>>552610794
Dip your dick in hot sauce
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bengay
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>>552612884
They aren't trolling. Capsaicin molecules are soluble in alcohols. The burning sensation from the pepper is due to the chemical interaction of these molecules with sensory neurons, so it makes sense to dissolve them into some kind of solvent.

That said, it might not be pleasurable to pour alcohol on your dick.
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>>552613704
This, Bengay is a sure fire solution.
>>
UPDATE

dick is good but now my balls are burning. I wiped some sweat near my left eye now its burning too. im gonna go wash my hands and then dip my whole penis and balls in a mug full of almond milk and just squat there for a while... maybe play some xcom.
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>>552614213
Make sure you drink the milk when you're done. You don't want to waste it.
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>>552614213
Great idea OP, make sure you have someone to suck your balls off after they're done marinating in almond milk.
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>>552610794

you actually need more habanero sauce on your dick. it overloads the nerve cells and basically shuts them down, turning off the pain receptors. go mush up some habanero and just slather it right on. it will hurt extra for about ten seconds then just stop - like hitting a light switch
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Use more habaneros! It works like snake venom!
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>>552611202
>DON'T DO IT, IT MAKES MUSTARD GAS
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>mfw op doesn't know that the almond essense and capsaicin combination was once used to unfertilize men
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>>552612268
I was at work numb nuts. They block 4chan in reputable places.
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>>552615496
My sides, has anyone seen my sides.
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>>552610794
ummmmmm... sauce?
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>>552615496
Hmm.... I enjoy this post, but you know what would go good with it?

Sauce.
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>>552617404
like almond+pepper sauce?
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>>552610939
>>552610952
>>552611000
Lold after reading these one after one another.
Also nice trips
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>>552610794

ahahaha, fucking idiot.

try milk.

also, and I'm not even trolling, there was some guy with a vineyard on TV who had some type of wine which had a way stronger effect against hot peppers than milk
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>>552617514
Exactly like almond and pepper sauce!
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>>552610794

Go mix baking soda with water and put it on tour dick. Then proceed to consider how retarded you are.
Thread posts: 82
Thread images: 16


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