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23 decides. Will not insert. I hate crickets.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 246
Thread images: 42

23 decides. Will not insert. I hate crickets.
>>
Insert
>>
insert faggot
>>
Let it go.
>>
>>551862997
let it live free
>>
I have various chemicals for cleaning, lighter fluid etc. 23 and 90 decides.
>>
depends, you want some good karma or some bad karma op?
if good, release it into your yard
if bad, cut its legs off and post pics on /an/
i'd let it go since it's just a cricket and not a faggot like a spider or something, but maybe you're a sick fuck, who knows.
>>
It's obvious that you must insert.
>>
>>551862997

Find another cricket, take foil and make armour out of it. make them fight like real gladiators
>>
>>551863234
It was food for my gecko, but it escaped under the sink. Ain't gonna feed it to her cause it might make her sick, and I absolutely despise these noisy smelly niggers of the insect world.
>>
>>551862997
Apologize profusely for the inconvenience, set the fucker free, then step on him when he turns to go.
>>
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>>551862997
let free, op.
also wtf captcha,
Got this shit. and A single house number (not possible to get correct) every fucking time.
Got 30 in a row then went incognito and first one is a real captcha. How fix?
>>
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Microwave
>>
>>551862997
release it
>>
>>551862997
jizz on it. Post pics. Bonus points if it drowns in your cum.
>>
Insert in urethra
>>
chop it
>>
>>551862997
reroll
>>
>>551862997
>>551862997
Stuff head of cricket into peehole so just the legs hang out and chirp
>>
Cum on it
>>
>>551862997
INSERT
>>
>>551863668
reroll
>>
microwave on high for 50 seconds.
>>
put him in ziploc bag. write on bag 'if lost return to ______ (some neighbor you dont like). shit on him. zip bag. place on random porch.

post pics.
>>
Microwave it and film it.
>>
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Train it to fight the evil known as Shocker.
>>
>>551863814
reroll
>>
>>551862997 Let it go.
>>
>>551863886
>>551863668
>668
>886
wtf?
>>
burn it
>>
>>551863896
reroll
>>
let it free
>>
>>551864015
reroll
>>
At the moment its in a jar with mold on the cap. It is slated for death, or release. I hope for its death.
>>
>>551864001
its the ilermernarti
cant you see the triangle it forms?
>>
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place under OP's balls
>>
>>551864059
reroll
>>
>>551863980
reroll for justice
>>
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eat it
>>
>>551862997
Point blank shotgun it with some birdshot.
>>
>>551863668

Rerolling for this
>>
>>551863814
reroll this fuck
>>
Cook and eat
>>
>>551863556
fuck moot man
>>
jizz on it then eat it
>>
Set free outside.
>>
let it go.
>>
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looks like it's your lunch to me
>>
>>551862997
put jar in boiling water
>>
>>551863668
Reroll
>>
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>>551863349
I like this idea it gets my vote
>>
>>551863349
rolling for this
>>
>>551862997
make it a small coffin and bury it alive
>>
>>551864516
roll (Metal as fuck)
>>
>>551863178
rollin for this
>>
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The suspense is killing me. I'd prefer it kill the escaped convict.
>>
let it go
>>
Eat it.
>>
>>551864516
rawll
>>
>>551862997
put it in a condom and put it up your ass post results
>>
>>551864573
reroll
>>
>>551864516
This guy's idea is way better.
>>
Make obstacle course
>>
>>551863668
roll
>>
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>>551863178
>>
>>551864516
ROOOOLLLLL
>>
>>551864683
reroll
>>
>>551864719
sauce
>>
make a salad and put it in the salad and then eat it.
>>
release. yell out lod: "i will never torture a cricket again."
>>
>>551862997
Smoke it in a bong.
>>
>>551864763
re roll
>>
Jizz on it
>>
drawn it into cheap alcohol
>>
>>551862997
release it
>>
>>551864516
fuck rolling just do this
>>
>>551864920
>Cheap
Roll for this but the drink has to be expensive.
>>
put in anus
>>
>>551864920
Roll
>>
manage to catch another 99 crickets
lay naked in bathtub
pour them all over you
video proof or it didn't happen
>>
>>551864516
rolling for this.
you have to cum in coffin too.
>>
>>551864935
reroll
>>
Eat your gecko
>>
>>551865023
winrar
>>
Put it on the tip of your penis.
>>
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>>551865023
we have a winner
>>
>>551865023
WINNERRRRR
>>
>>551865023
FANTASTIC!
>>
attatch cup balloon
place victim in cup
send spacewards
>>
>>551865023
oh shit son i got winrar
>>
Crush it with your dick
>>
>>551865023
lame but still: WINRAR
>>
>>551865023
Winner! Construction begins now. Keep thread alive.
>>
>>551865023
Winnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
>>
Build a fort for it with a mote and give it a crown
>>
>>551865023
cricket will eat cum to survive, then mummification will happen
>>
>>551864805
"amateur bukkake" google images
>>
>>551863556
Sign in or out of a Google account in whatever browser you're running.
>>
>>551865023
niggah i wanted it to die slow, make coffin big enough so it doesnt drown first
>>
release him
>>
swaggin that bump yo
>>
>make banana milkshake
>place cricket inside
>blend.wmv
>drink for extra protein
>>
>>551863556
I got them correct several times in a row now, I guess you have to be lucky
>>
>>551865023
best winrar, prepare for epic thread
>>
make it wooden, not paper or some shit. also post pics of it

wood is good
>>
Keep it as your pet then get a falcon feed to falcon
>>
>>551865189
Make it out of wood, not paper
>>
>>551865593
Ya OP you better not cheap out on us!
>>
>>551862997
Put it in your pooper.
>>
Bumping this thread for the cumcoffin
>>
>>551865639
i was thinking cardboard would be easy and durable
>>
>>551864729
why is he so sweaty
>>
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Will deliver. Not a master craftsman by any means.
Preparing meat cannon now.
>>
>>551865023
WINRAR
>>
>>551865943
wow thanks for informing us
>>
>>551865868
You think i know?
>>
You hate crickets? How can you have that feeling?

Also let it go and call him slappy.
>>
>>551866023
yes
>>
>>551865887
OP, you are a prince among men.
>>
>>551865868
hes icy chill brah
>>
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>>551865887
do you want poon to help?
>>
>>551865887
praise the sun OP
>>
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>>551865023
>mfw
>>
>>551866063
Well i don't so that's what you get for putting faith in random people. Disappointment. Remember this day well Anon. It is the day you were shown the real world. In all its disappointment.
>>
>>551865887
Gonna cum in it before or after you add the cricket?
>>
>>551864516
roll
>>
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>>551866234
>why is he so sweaty
>faith
>>
>>551866264
before, you expect the cricket to sit still you idiot?
>>
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Hers some prawn OP
>>
Let it go
>>
>>551866484
It's too late for that.
>>
>>551866407
Start up, open lid, jizz, slam lid, shake container to cover subject.

Or move it to a bottle and use the bottle as a sex toy, I'm sure op will fit
>>
may OP release the spirit of a thousand men inside the box
>>
Hurry up and cum OP
>>
>>551866484
Doesn't know how to read thread like a newfag.
>>
>>551866484
you smell like summer
>>
>>551866646
Gonna need a description of what summer smells like. Other anons may post their views.
>>
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>>551865887
>>
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>>551866484
>>
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Blew load, tossed cricket into cum piddle, but wasn't too happy and kept coming out. Barely got this picture off. What will his coffin say before I bury it?
>>
>>551866594
>open lid
>cricket jumps on dick

op said he hates crickets so i doubt hed risk it
>>
let him live free in your ass
>>
>>551866859
OP delivered obviously...
>>
>>551866859
here lies this thread
>>
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>>551866859
I can't even see the fucking cricket

captcha:
the cockser
>>
>>551866859
Little shit should have just gotten eaten.
>>
>>551866859
''OPs a fag''
>>
>>551866859
where's the cum?
>>
OP, if you are going to cum on the cricket, put it in freezer for a few seconds. it will not kill it but it will slow it down.
>>
>>551867023
>>551866859
23 confirm
>>
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>>
>>551866859

He lived a long and cumfull life!
>>
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>>551866859
>mfw
>>
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SET IT FREE!!!!!!! POOR LITTLE THING........
>>
>>551867113
Now bury it. Put tombstone with time stamp above grave.
>>
>>551867113
youre not done yet bury it faggot
>>
>>551867082
The faggot jumped out a few times when taking the picture. Catching a cum covered cricket is not a fun thing to do.
>>
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>>551866859
Where is cricket OP, you're not trying to lie on the internet are you?
>>
Kill it
>>
OP we MUST see the cum covered cricket!!!!
>>
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
Set on fire and send the mighty warrior to Vallhalla
>>
give it a viking funeral OP and burn it alive while it floats on water
>>
>>551867330
The wizard is right where the fuck is it OP
>>
Does another roll counts?
>>
>>551867251
>Catching a cum covered cricket is not a fun thing to do.

I Kek In reel
>>
>>551867330
Also your cum looks like cornstarch and water.
>>
>>551867417
yes
>>
OP show us the cricket covered in cum. Quit being a faggot
>>
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>>551867651
>>
>>551867523
>>551867823

Two 23's decides. OP burn that brave warrior.
>>
>>551867823
>>551867823
>>551867823
>>551867823
Winrar!
>>
microwave on high for 5 minutes
>>
>>551867924
>>551867974
Its time op
>>
>>551867823
DUBBLEWINRAR

Do it, OP. Prepare to be an legend.
>>
Bump for cum-cricket-viking-funeral
>>
Bamp
>>
This thread is so fucking epic + op is not a fag
>>
send the cum-lord back to sovngarde
>>
Douse that fucker with some co2, then open it up so it becomes drowsy. At least let us see that cricket first.
>>
Bumping this
>>
>>551867924
Maybe you could use denatured alcohol to both knock out the cricket so we can see it, and to help it light better.
>>
op is kill
>>
OP where art thou
>>
Got sidetracked.
>>
>>551870321
can you give a report?
>>
>>551870321
Now burn it, give him the viking death he deserves
>>
>>551870321
>>551870453
Honor thy cricket before thor rapes you
>>
>>551870427
A friendly neighbor came out to see what I was doing. Be bullshitted and buried the bastard. Told a fitting story of a dead pet.
>>
>>551870321
What do you plan to light it up with, a wet thing in the mud will not light without some sort of firestarter.
>>
>>551870612
set it on fire now
>>
>>551870453
I want to, trust me, but its raining out pretty good. I could put a new cricket in the jar and light it?
>>
>>551870729
yes, new cricket
send him to valhalla
>>
>>551864516
rolling for this
>>
>>551868621
>>551867417

Here are men who understand the essence of /b/ and manliness and also know their internets.

Bring forth the funeral OP or we will dishonor you, your name and your body as you want with this small creature, you bastard!
>>551862997
>>
>>551870729
u got more crickets? where do you live? sewersville?
>>
>>551870729
Cum on it and put some alcohol on it so it will be more epic.
>>
>>551870895
I honestly can't, man. The box is soggy wet when we finished burying it in the mud. I can simply sacrifice another in the jar.
>>
>>551870729
Yes
>>
>>551871052
That was my2nd shot in the last two hours. I doubt there would be any substance to it.
>>551871034
I own a leopard gecko. I have a number of them in a cricket keeper.
>>
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>>551871131
Yes, but this time make a small raft with the coffin on it, and send him to Valhal in your bathtub.
>>
>>551871331
Kek, fucking this.
>>
>>551871331
YES
>>
>>551871331
I will do better. Jar on raft in sink, so you can see the cricket.
>>
Hope it floats...
>>
it might flip off
man, i lurk. dont stop going
>>
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The sacrifice.
>>
>>551872072
THE END DRAWS NEAR!
>>
pick up the pace OP
>>
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>>551872072
OP delivers twice?
I can't even
>>
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>>551872072
Zippo? But that's for pussies!
>>
The cricket charred, and broke into pieces, and the raft tipped. It smells bad in here, but the gods are pleased.
>>
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>>551872587
>>
>>551872587
Hail to the warriors in Valhalla, another soul to join the fight
>>
>>551872587
We sacrifice this cricket to the gods!
take our offering with a blessing of fire!
Let the soul of this cricket reunite with all things
OP's all over /b/ has ever burned before.
>>
>>551872587
I think it's time for another sacrifice
>>
Has anyone capped this?
>>
>>551872587
OP is god!
>>
>>551872587
Today OP was actually kinda cool
>>
>>551872587
OP DELIVARS
>>
I'll be back another time for another victim.

Valhallop away.
>>
>>551872587
(queuing Wardruna music)
Hvíla hann í faðm og getur hann berjast við hlið ykkar að eilífu, Óðinn Alföðr

Hail Odinn.

There. It is done, he has ascended
>>
>>551874875
bump
>>
>>551874946
Boomp'd
>>
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rolling hard
>>
>>551862997
send that bitch to space faggot
>>
>>551872587
Is that his spirit I see, rising up to on high?
>>
>>551875758
You're a bit late...
>>
>>551875767
Could get pretty high up with a balloon. Have the timestamp still attached when you launch it, and maybe vent helium so it has just enough to float, then it will burst higher up. The next cricket might see the curve of the earth before it dies.
>>
Heat the air in the jar. Really hot. Then but the cap on tightly and toss in freezer. Watch cricket swell the fuck up, maybe explode.
>>
>>551876635
This would be amazing, cold water would work faster rather than a freezer.
>>
>>551876635
would the jar sustain any damage? I'm considering doing this now since I have crickets b/c bearded dragons
>>
>>551876862
Not if its glass, a glass jar would just shrug off that kind of shit. But to get off the lid, you would have to either be very strong, heat it up to the same temp, or break a hole in the lid with an icepick.
>>
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>>551865023
>>
>>551876862
nope. Not unless you're a retard and heat it to an insane temperature. Besides, you want the air in the jar to be hot, not necessarily the jar itself. Pressure required to fuck up a glass jar > pressure required to fuck up a cricket.
>>
>>551871131
we?
wtf, who else is burying it with you?
>>
>>551876810
This is true. Freezer would result in a stronger vacuum though.
So basically use water for faster results, use freezer for more extreme results.
Either way should be lolworthy.
>>
>>551863668
roll
>>
>>551877281
would I just turn the jar upside down and heat it with a lighter?
>>
>>551864859
This
>>
>>551877703
Way too slow, use a pan with a little puddle of alcohol, or a stove.
>>
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put a lit match in the jar and then pour alcohol in it
>>
>>551863178
roll
>>
>>551877830
I imagine I throw the cricket in after the heating process?
>>
>>551878076
Maybe if you can do it without burning your fap hand, but I would load in the cricket first on top of like a cotton ball or something so it does not roast too fast.
>>
>>551866790
I've seen this around. What are the names of these girls?
Thread posts: 246
Thread images: 42


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