> be me, xbox GT was "Swaglord420xx"
> Never smoked weed before in my life
> First day back to school
> Make friends with one of the popular kids
> Asks me if I have an xbox
> Say "yes I do anon"
> He proceeds to ask me for my gamertag and I say "u-umm its S-swaglord420xx"
> He laughs in my face and tells me he will add me when he gets home
> Couple months pass and I found out cool kid and a bunch of friends enjoy the same games I do "COD, Battlefield, NBA"
> We all have fun playing together but they start referring to me as "Swaglord420xx"
>One day in class teacher says "Hey Anon come here..."
> Cool kid interrupts
> "It's not anon teach, its Swaglord420xx"
> Class laughs at me
> Cool kid asks me to come chill and we'll game with the buds at his house
> Cool kids parents aren't home
> Cool kid and the funky bunch assumed because my name was "Swaglord420xx" that I smoke weed
> They offer me a bong rip
> first time smoking, trying to not make it to obvious
> Take the entire bowl in one hit because I didn't know otherwise
> Nearly cough my lungs up, proceed to become extremely baked
> We're playing NBA and they are all congratsing me on cashing the entire bowl, pretty amazed
> tfw I look like a pro for the first time
> They give me another bowl
> Cash it all again
> Cool kid is pissed because im taking all his weed but friends are amazed
> They decide i've had enough and I agree, proceed to game barely able to control myself phsyically
> Cool kid says "Hey Swaglord420x-"
> Before he could ask me what he wanted I burst out laughing while simultaneously shitting my pants infront of the entire group
> This was literally a fire hydrant pressure explosion of the brownie mixture.
> Still can't stop laughing
> Gasping for air because im laughing like a hyena while sitting in my own anal fungus while saying "HAHAHA SWAGLORD420XX" between breaths
> Now known as "Shitlord420xx" across school and no longer talk to the Cool kid
bumping with moot
Well you can start by killing yourself Shitlord420xx
Screen capped, 10/10 best shit I've read in awhile.
Also I agree with everyone else, idk how you could recover you had a chance to be popular and you shit the bed... Literally. Kill yourself
Guys im not gonna fucking kill myself, like can anyone suggest some legit stuff? Like I have considered moving away but my dad tells me to man up and stop being a pussy
>How do I recover from this /b/?
Listen fuckstick - No one gives a shit about what happens in high school. Why don't you concentrate on shit that matters.
So just kill yourself. Your dad is no help.
Also, that is why you don't make stupid shit names like that. Unless you are just a straight faggot Shitlord420xx
Haha, OP you are a senior in highschool ya?
None of the underclass men give a shit, your graduating class won't give a shit.
Your new college really won't give a shit.
So just bear with it yo
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of shit,
I shall fear no bowels,
As the Shitlord420xx will watch over me and my sheep I shall lead them across the shadowed and disgusting land.
For my journey across the great Rectum will be hard and distasteful.
But I do it all in the name of the great Shitlord.
Please bless me on my journey through ops bowels and through the intestine and out the anus oh wise Shitlord.
> Protip: I'm ops bowel movement
Like I don't even want to go to school anymore, seriously...
It's embarrassing and I plan on not even going to my grad anymore. Why the fuck would this happen to me?
So why did you shit your pants? Because you laughed too much? Or were you just high as balls and started shitting yourself?
Anyways, for future reference, why the fuck would you be embarassed when your buddy says to the class your name is Swaglord420xx? Just laugh along with it and say you made the name because you thought it would be funny [spoilers] Even if that's not true [/spoilers]
I know this is a made up bullshit story but who the fuck would be amazed just cause you "cashed" 2 bowls? That's not impressive in the slightest, the point of a bong is to finish the whole bowl in one big hit not share it you pleb
It must've been the weed because I just lost control of my bowels and it came rushing out like a jet in a hot tub...
I got embarrassed because I kind've liked one of the girls in the class and wanted to ask her to grad. Now I'm not even going.
They were pretty packed.
That's what you get for doing marijuana, it's bad for you. Serves you right, you deserved it. Only scum and low life's do dangerous drugs.
I too had a bad experience with weed my senior year of high school. I let it ruin the rest of my year and now looking back on it i see that i was being way too hard on myself, like you are now. Dont let it get to you. You should laugh about it if people bring it up. Things are going to be ok.
> be playing warframe
> Get asked to start recruiting more
> make an advert to spam every now and again
> every faggot with yolo swag 420 or sephiroth that messages me gets shot down.
> not going to play with faggots that name themselves shit like that
Own it, man.
You are shitlord, dubbed for the shitting of thine pants in front of an ample audience whilst righteously stoned.
It sounds like it could be hard for you given how insecure you seem at this time, but if you learn to be okay with it, others will be okay with it too.
You're full of shit. As if a first time smoke will be able to take a full bowl their first time and get high. You're throat and lungs aren't conditioned to handle the smoke so it can't be inhaled properly. I've had friends who smoked every day for years, quit for a few months go back and not be able to clear a whole packed bowl in a single hit because they get what I call bitch lungs where you start coughing and can't take all the smoke in.
Nigga you are backwards. Anyone who've I ever smoked with and wasn't consistently smoking couldn't handle big tokes and they'd cough their lungs out. Is that why the stoners never cough and the newbies always cough? Because fresh lungs can take huge hits and handle it.
You deserve it OP, for not simply being a swagfag but a POSER swagfag. Don't put flash around "420" if you don't smoke pot, don't carry a guitar if you don't play, don't put a surfboard on your car if you don't surf. Trying to be cool by pretending to be something you're not will always blow up in your fucking face.
But b4 you an hero, just know that who you are in high school effectively dies the moment you leave. Head off to college and "Shitlord" will just be a memory.
>also get a new gamertag you dumb faggot.
Come clean man. Tell that kid the name was always a joke.
Contact him and say you've never actually been high before.
Then laugh about it. Tell him thanks for getting you high, and tell him you are embarrassed about shitting your pants, but you also thinks it's hilarious that you got high for the first time and shit your pants.
Do you see what I'm getting at? You're not denying anything, you're coming clean about never smoking weed, and you're laughing about it. I mean, nobody can hate you after that.
Just tell him you think it's funny you had a bullshit "420" name and when you finally did actually get high, you shit yourself.
>pic related is you
I think i shit harder than op. My sides discovered new a dimension.
For future reference
FACEBOOK PLEASE NOW.
I HAVE TO GAZE UPON THE FACE OF THE SHITLORD.
Alright so somebody from my school also broadcasted this on facebook... Then again on twitter...
This got a lot bigger then I wanted it to and all I wanted was simple advice. No, I am not going to kill myself.
op you poor fucking bastard.
thanks for new trolling rage comic; this one was getting boring.
It's Brad from 2nd block bro. Everyone at school finds it hilarious man! Don't even worry about it dude! Trent's throwing a house party this weekend bro you should come!
mighty shitlord op still isnt the biggest faggot of his school
dont worry op
le reddit faggots are worse than you
also mods pls ban this bunch of underaged faggots
BROMANDUDEBRO DONT EVEN SWEAT THE BITTY! ME AND A COUPLE OF HOMBRES WERE GON A GO CRACK SOMETHING BREWSKIES AND JUST WIG OUT ON SOMETHING GNARLY GAMEAGE! YOU IN BRO? BROMANDUDEBRO? LEMME BORROW YOUR AXE
>mfw my nick is 'on2acid,' and I've used it for about seven years.
>tfw I've never actually done acid, even though I've gotten far higher on salvia, so I can bullshit that I have done acid.
>tfw 'acid' was never supposed to refer to LSD, but rather sulfuric acid, but everyone thought it referred to LSD so you just went with it.
He was such an hero, to take it all away. We miss him so, That you should know, And we honor him this day. He was an hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind. God do we wish we could take it back, And now he’s on our minds. Mitchell was an hero, to leave us feeling like this, Our minds are rubber, our joints don’t work, Our tears fall into abyss. He was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn’t his task, He shouldn’t have had to go that way, before an decade’d past. Now he sits there in my heart, this hero of mine, Always there to make me smile, Make me feel just fine. He had courage,that boy did, courage in his heart. To take that shot, To end his pain, To tear us all apart. But in the end, he died in courage. Lacking, nevermore, He died a hero, Mitchell did, And we’ll love him forevermore. We love you like an brother. We miss you so much. We will always love you, kid. Rest In Peace Mitch.
OP is confirmed fag
Look who it is again, ID Heaven. I'm fed up with your shit faggot. The other day when you called me a newfag, yeah, haven't forgotten about that yet.
Fuck you I've been on here for months and probably get on here more than you anyways. Don't you know that you make yourself look like a newfag when you call others newfag?
Just because you learned how to hack your name and change it to "Heaven" does not give you the right to disrespect anyone at any time.
Change your name to shitlord then shit on everybody online.
Don't understand? That means destroy them all! Then when you see them in public don't even talk about gaming. When they bring it up get real serious and say I'm gonna shit on you like a true lord
I have a friend who constantly pisses himself while drunk. Once, he pissed on me. The point is, because he can laugh about it, others laugh WITH him, not AT him.
My greatest fear has come true.
Posting my failures on /b/ and somebody recognizing who I really am...
You should have just gone to /adv/.
This guy knows his shit
If I quit ripping on the daily I wouldn't be able to take anywhere near as big of a hit as I usually do. OP's story is bullshit. I've never been around seasoned stoners who give a fuck how much you can smoke, only teenagers are impressed with that kind of shit. I can take a .5g bong hit and my younger friends think I'm a fucking god, but the people I usually smoke with can out smoke me even though I have yet to encounter anyone who can outside my group of stoner friends. It would likely be someone in a crazy weed situation where it's just accessible 24/7 in insane amounts
I never said I was OP
>You should have just gone to /adv/.
I also once posted an embarrasing highschool moment and was really afraid that some /b/tard would recognize me.
Literally this. Embrace the shit out of it and no one will fucking think it's funny anymore. Just don't call yourself that, only when people bring it up. (e.g. haha yeah I'm shitlord420 hahaha). Don't be a little bitch about it
requesting links to this shit
hey friend from school, post the fb and twitter discussions
This thread has seriously been up for 4hrs?
well shiet im too high didnt notice how long this been up
may the ganja be with Shitlord420
>crazy weed situation where it's just accessible 24/7 in insane amounts
get a job on the west coast / CO
money + medicinal card = your crazy dream situation
If you want to find search twitter for relevant tweets. I tried but no luck
Gl with that unless it got some mad retweets/ favourites
Only reason it's probably been up this long is because it takes so fucking long to read through the thread.
Then a new person here like me posts and bumps it up to page 1. It then attracts more faggots who do the exact same thing.
/b/ science faggots, I will admit epic bread though.
I really wish man, living in the bible belt sucks a fat cock so any weed I get is purchased through sometimes unreliable sources (unreliable as in quality not availability)
I want to move to the middle of fucking nowhere in CO and throw all of my disposable income at having edibles/hash/oil/dank stocked at all times. Then I could just die happy
and now you'll be made fun of and you'll never reply to that copypasta again
I'm in IL right now finishing finals, but I'll be interning in san diego this summer at $31/hr and my housing is paid for. I grew up in CA and have my CA driver's license so this summer I'm gunna get a card and waste a lot of my money :D
>the boys always go fishing with first-timers, and they don't quit til they reel somebody in...
Wear this story like a badge of honor. Not the pants tho.
>It's called not giving a fuck.
If you're anything like me you will be telling this story to all your friends in a few years and you'll all have a laugh, especially you. Everyone's got a story about getting fucked up and making an ass out of himself, otherwise you're doing something wrong.
>And so to suggest in a sort of roundabout way that "summer" had arrived, or rather the influx of newcomers to the board still unfamiliar with its customs in other words, one user posted lyrics from Lana Del Rey's "Summertime Sadness" while others replied quite simply "summer." Sadly, what came about as the end result was very much the same -- great, undeniable faggotry.
The pasta was 9/10 if legit or not I don't care. It's the thread itself that is funny as fuck so I've had it in a separate tab for the past hour.
I'm pretty sure he knows what nigh means. I think he was just pointing out that it's an unusual word to use, so unusual, in fact, that using it so casually might suggest autism.
Hope that helped to clear up any confusion.
4chan is a subdomain of reddit
I am offended that you were the one to reply
Dare not stop archiving this thread, Archivist.
>In the Beginning, Anon created the Nick of the Names.
>Now the nickname was super and awesome, swag was over the surface of the deep, and the Title of Lord was hovering over the Score tab.
>And Swaglord420xx laughed, "Let there be shit," and there was shit.
>Mates saw that the Shit was created, and they separated the Swaglord420xx from Swag.
> Op here
Wow guys almost 300 posts? Let alone this thread has been alive for nearly 6 hours... At least I think it's been that long, I have no idea!
Maybe even longer? Yes I can confirm this story is true and this thread has really helped me see past it. Thanks for all your support /b/ this is the last place I would've thought to get any. You guys are great! Thank you so much!
have a good life shitlord :^)
Check your fucking privilege, shitlord.
Reporting from Reddit :3
I'm here to stay! ^-*
In all seriousness man up and stop being a fucking pussy.
Everyone does (for want of a better word) shit and in a year or two it will be a hilarious story you tell everyone about and you can all laugh together.
School is over soon, new people on horizon.
or kill yourself w.e
Welcome back op! I bet you were pretty amazed when you saw this thread alive.
Cogratulations on one of the best OC threads of the year so far! Almost 2500 views on imgur and 200+ up votes on leddit! Glad you're doing good man^.^
edit: forgot my picture
>imblyigng I didn't just ruse the fuck out of you and you took the b8, /b/ is a shitty containment board for faggots like yourself new to 4chain smothering yourselves in edge and naughty words. Also I don't see anything wrong with /r/4chan, if anything it encourages quality posts here