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>Be me >Be politician and general >Told to go east and

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 35
Thread images: 1

>Be me
>Be politician and general
>Told to go east and fight some badass dude
>Defeat dude despite his badassery several times, chase him across mountain ranges and deserts
>Invade an entire country, win every battle against ridiculous odds
>Just before campaign is completed, soldiers mutiny due to snow
>Sent back home, some other cunt steals my victory
>Retire from politics, spend my outrageous amount of loot from the war on luxurious feasts
>>
Obama
>>
op iu have no idea but tell me what it is before the thread 404's
>>
Napoleon Bonaparte?
>>
>>546411084
I'll give hints but I ain't teling. It was around 2000 years ago.
>>
>>546410921
who's?
>>
>>546410921
Alexander, the Great ?
>>
>>546411235
this
>>
>>546411164
>ancient history

>>546411235
Nah couple centuries later than that.
>>
>>546411185
Alexander the great?
>>
>>546411185
Hannibal Barca?
>>
Alexander The Great?
>>
>>546410921
Wanna say Pompey and Mithridates?
>>
>>546411338
Getting closer chronologically.

He's from a certain boot-shaped peninsula in the Med.
>>
>>546410921
Jesus fucking christ are you guys this fucking stupid?

Hannibal. Its fucking hannibal. Holy fucking shitballs it doesnt get any more obvious.
>>
>>546410921
Caesar?
>>
>>546410921

Publius Cornelius Scipio Africanus?
>>
>>546411421
yeah, nice try
>>
>>546411421
Plot twist: you are the retard.

>>546411449
Close.

>>546411404
Very, very close.
>>
>be me
>have red hair
>be living on islands
>sheeps and shit
>dad was ruler
>he dies
>inherit his shit
>brother is angry cause he wanted the shit i got
>go to the land of dan to sell shit
>two fags get money from the local king to buy shit for him
>one of the fags is dumb and lets the money get stolen
>king is pissed
>no one is allowed to leave till they find the thief
>erryonegettincranky
>propose that everyone puts aside a bit of cash so the king can have it and we can all just leave
>get rewarded for this great idea
>go north
>buy ship
>be pimp as fuck
>>
>Be me
>fuck OP's mom
>>
Crassus obviously.
>>
>>546411479
Marcus Crassus
>>
>>546411407
Marcus Valerius Corvus?
>>
It's Tiberius, you shits.
>>
>>546411479
Lucullus and Mithridates?
>>
>>546410921
Scipio bitches, dropped that nerd Hannibal and took Carthage
>>
>>546411546
You must be me!!!
>>
>>546411586
>(ID: pyw4kRSs) 05/14/14(Wed)18:16:21 No.546411586
>(ID: zbMf8L3l) 05/14/14(Wed)18:16:21 No.546411587

damn you anon.
>>
Be sweating inside a a wooden construction. Guy next to me smells like piss, but it is alright because when evening comes we will start a beautiful carnage. Lots of killing, raping and looting will commence... Once these idiots tow us inside, what the fuck are they waiting for?
>>
>>546411629
>>546411629
Well done anon. Lucullus.
>>
>>546411421
He didn't mention anything about eating lambs n shit...
>>
>Surrounding a city of shitfaced barbarians
>Other barbarians attack from behind
>Build an entire perimeter wall to defend the besieging army
>Win despite being outnumbered by nearly a million enemies
>>
>>546411693
Ok then my go:

>Be aristocrat
>Pretty standard rich life, not too bad
>Get job in government
>Fuck off to god knows where in the provinces
>Still, could be worse, get to pillage
>Take some decent statues back home to the estate
>In this one town
>See girl I like
>Get the lads over to her dad's house
>Kill him
>tfw people there tried to kill me
>tfw some guy prosecuted me for it
>>
>>546410921
>Be me
>Sent by dad to help people
>people kill me
>wake up aand forgive everyone
>go home
>now you're all saved.
Thread posts: 35
Thread images: 1


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