Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 5930. page

You realize posting this here is the easiest way to get v& right? I mean if you were actually serious you would just go and do whatever it is you are implying you are going to do rather than post purposely vague things on the internet that can be taken as a threat.

>>723357836
Im a janitor at VT.

>>723357836
Party van is on its way

File: pepesweat.jpg (38KB, 600x568px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 600x568px

CHAPTER 2 - ANON DATES
>Turns out I actually like Trish (As I would like any female who gave me attention and pie)
>Afraid to admit because Gus will make fun of me
>Assume fake cool instance and tell him I'll call her out because "Pussy is pussy, right? <nervous fake laught>"
>Gus probably knows I'm the biggest loser, so he gives me unasked advice
Hey "Gus", if you ever read this and identify yourself... thank you.
>Got all my courage and texted Trish to ask her out, to the movies
>Fucking trembling, sweating from places I didn't even know I could
>Trish texted back "Sure, what film?"
>At this moment, it felt like reality wasn't actually real, like I just wished that so much I daydreamt about that answer.
>I mean... my first date, what the actual fuck. It's now or never.
>Choose some superhero movie, Marvel, X-men or something
>Get the giant butter popcorn, she didn't get nothing
>During movie got to hold her hand, heart pounding so fast she might very well be feeling my pulse
>Then tried to stroke her hair a little bit, she actually let me
>Only much later I would notice my hand was all greasy of butter and she didn't care
>Talking to her was a delight. At some point, actual words began leaving my mouth, and we had an actual conversation
>At the end, I didn't walk her home (didn't have much practice at this date thing)
>We stopped at the corner where our paths should split, talked a little bit, said goodbye and I went for a kiss
>She turned the cheek
>AWKWARD
>Me "Errr... I was actually hoping to kiss your lips"
>Trish "Oh, really? Me too"
>Yes, this actually happened exactly like this. My first kiss was awkward and not very good at all, but man, I was dancing on clouds my way home

CHAPTER 3 - GET OUT OF MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Next weeks are the most exciting thing in my life. We still share some classes, so we see each other a lot
>We talk a lot, spend time together
>We would both pretend to pay attention to the classes, but every now and then I caught her looking at me
>She would sometimes bake me pie, cake and all kinds of homemade sweetness
>Barb told me to get a hold of her soon, because she had "a free spirit", I should officially make her my gf
>Like social media, get her a ring and all that
>Of course Gus is against it, where did that "pussy" talk go?
>*Fuck it, she's now my 3d waifu, I'm going in*
>Double date. Me, Trish, Gus and Barb. I have a ring and everyone (possibly Trish too) knows it
>Dinner, too nervous to touch the food.
That restaurant would go bankrupt and close few weeks later.
>Me "Hey Trish, may I ask you something?"
>Get on fucking knee, cringe all you want
>Me "Would you be my girlfriend?"
>She of course says yes, and Barb was filming it. The clip is still online as of today
And I still have the ring.
>Next few of months are beautiful. We would see each other every day, spend evenings doing calculus homework and eat lots of cake
>Spend our time discussing how elegant electric engines are and how I love her chocolate-flavored shampoo
>We go to parties, she has fun with her girlfriends while I sit at the corner watching her beautiful (but not really) body
>We do have sex. I'm no expert, but I think she was a virgin, and so she says
>Romantic trip together
>Lots of stories
>Somehow lose weight, meet her family. Her dad is a kinda scary criminal lawyer hated all around the city
>I'm first guy she ever presents to her family. Father is overprotective and hates men
>Guess he smelled my betaness and saw no threat in me, because he likes me
>I'm now his official "computer guy" free of charge, of course, but I don't mind
>As long as I have Trish, I'm alright
But of course I wouldn't have her for long

File: 1getj5.jpg (29KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 640x480px

CHAPTER 4 - YOU ARE HERE FOREVER
Mandatory soundtrack: https://youtu.be/cs-XZ_dN4Hc

>About a year later
>She fights me over the stupidest things, don't really understand
>One night, she breaks up with me over the telephone
>That's it. She calls me and we're over
>Me "Come on, Trish, you obviously have no idea of what you are doing, let's talk in person tomorrow"
>To no avail, we are still over.
>Fuck, this hurts a lot
>Exact 19 days later, she is hanging around with some chad guy, let's call him... Chad
>Fuck, this hurts a whole lot more. Like, tons.
>Me "Trish, I don't think it's appropriate for you to have another relationship so soon after all we passed together"
>Trish "I understand how you are feeling, but I'm with Chad now and I'm happy, you have to be mature and accept this"
>And so I did. Seeing that hurt me too much, so I cut all contact with her
>Very troughout about it. Deleted all my social stuff, blocked her number on my phone and also cut anyone who talks to me about her
>Luckily, we aren't taking any classes together this term.
>Still talk to Barb and Val, they're probably reporting to Trish
>Start hitting the gym to kill time

>Pass few months, summer vacation
>Barb "Hey Anon, I'm spending a few days in your hometown, Val will show me the town. Wanna come with us?"
>Me "Don't know, Trish might show up and I wouldn't want that"
>Barb "Come on, are you going to spend the rest of your life not going wherever she may show up?"
>*Yes, I am!*
>Me "No, I'm not... ok."
>Of course she showed up and wanted really bad to talk to me.
>Not interested in seeing her face at all, still hurts bad
>To avoid "being childish", let her talk to me
>She tells me everything that happened with her in past months, says she misses talking to me
>Me "Obviously not missing enough"
>She's still with Chad, but her father hates him, prohibited the relationship to continue
>She thinks there's a guy her dad paid to keep an eye on her
>Me "Tough luck, huh"

>>723357669
Nan mais si le corp est sympa mais la tête affreuse, ça vaux pas le coup. On peut pas juger la...

>>723357669
>IMG_0494 qui fait comme si c'était une image sortie de l'appareil
>mais montage de 4 photos
>lol

Je lui claquerais bien ses seins très méchamment, quand même. Avant de la tirer par les tétons très fort.

I saw her in Stepmom. Her looks went down so fast.

>>723358118
Who cares she has no tits

Roku n rolo

File: IMG_0029.png (872KB, 750x1334px) Image search: [Google]

872KB, 750x1334px

Lives around elkhorn

File: 1486867825762.jpg (8KB, 180x200px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 180x200px

no thanks

Nebraska

>>723357204
post this shit to reddit fucking newfag

>>723357204
>letting other people decide if something is offensive to you
Grow up faggot

inv nimblebits

>>723357527
This shit is fucked

Invite prolixian

File: 1523125.jpg (70KB, 750x393px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 750x393px

>>723357592

Hans Teeuwen.

he was the best

File: MV5BMzM4NjY1NDg0NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODEzNDUwNA@@._V1_UX214_CR0,0,214,317_AL_.jpg (21KB, 214x317px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 214x317px

>>723357592
the dice man was good aswell. george carlin got to preachy at times.

File: IMG_20170223_080432.jpg (2MB, 2448x3264px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2448x3264px

Here you go

>>723358222
Trips

Also, post the teachers name. Or a student you hate

Because gay is the way.

My nama jeff

>>723358155

There is a lot more gay threads today than there usually is. Normally there is 2-3 per catalog, today there is 1-2 per page. I don't know what the fuck is going on.

>>723357958
Name her slutty Maria

File: 1477251753660.jpg (37KB, 429x410px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 429x410px

it's not even that.. I just know there's potential for happiness and I could easily make it happen. I just dont

File: 1449139173507.jpg (68KB, 500x598px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 500x598px

>>723357696
this, a lot

File: bN7KGHd.jpg (62KB, 1368x760px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 1368x760px

>>723357696
I've always had depression, but never this bad. For some reason, my depression went into overdrive this past year. Maybe it's all the change. But I'm just in a rut now. I just blew my chances at my college within the first semester. I had 16k/year scholarship too. Now my car is broke, too sad to do school, can't really work without my car, and I can't see a psychiatrist.

SHIT IT DOWN, GUYS!

File: 1459747857497.webm (352KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

352KB, 480x480px

>>723356979
This isn't funny this is just sad

How the fuck do you not notice shitting yourself so badly that it stains the outside of your pants? How drunk were/are you? Also, how the fuck did you not notice the smell?

File: leslie_jones.jpg (454KB, 1047x1572px) Image search: [Google]

454KB, 1047x1572px

Also this is not a human

File: 1487847060347.png (399KB, 715x710px) Image search: [Google]

399KB, 715x710px

>>723357248

File: 1487703147339.gif (64KB, 160x120px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 160x120px

>>723357355

cum on lads

self bump

>inb4 someone will cum tribute it and say it's better than shopping