Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 2581. page

how the fuck do you people have so much trouble keeping shit together while UNDERGRADS?

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>>734074838
the fuck anon, it's not like being an undergrad is easy

>fuck what you think just do what I think.
Wow nice relationship there friendo

weve gota do sumfin boss

>>734073675
>spam @itsashlyperez

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>>734073605

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Hello, has anyone ever claimed taliyah?

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i'm a troglodyte

>>734073706
Bump

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>>734073706
I'll play. OC

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My cutie

>Experience tranquility
Kill a Buddhist student with a Buddha statute

>Feelin' Fresh!
Dress in a Gucci tuxedo and don't get it dirty

>What are you, blind?
Kill the blind kid by shooting him in the eyes.

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>>734069893

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>>734074004

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Gonna ask again, anyone got that greentext of a fluffy getting eaten by a snake?

>>734070613
i gotchu fam
1/2
>"taiw be nyu fwend? pway wif babbeh?"
>snake food is 5 cents a pop these days
>people have been cutting back on non-fluffy foodsources for reptiles
>mice have animal rights after all, any alternative to preserve them should be taken advantage of
>so snake food is now worth as much as fluffies
>"wy taiw fwend nu tawk?"
>the brown foal is a quad amputee, mercifully evacuated a few minutes ago
>he sits in Kellog's warm tank, happily chittering away under the bright heatlamp
>Kellog himself is over 20 kilograms of Burmese python, and growing fast
>Kellog does not believe in the magic of friendship
>in fact, snakes cannot even feel love
>how sad is that?
>"daddeh is taiw fwend dummy taiw?"
>it takes roughly five minutes of the fluffy wriggling around before the motion stimulates Kellog's hunting instinct
>which really makes you wonder why snakes haven't gone instinct
>but then, it takes you twenty minutes of rechecking the fridge to see if food magically appears before you just break down and make it from scratch, so..
>Kellog raises his head up, evaluating his prey while testing the air with his flickering tongue
>100 million years of instinct is aimed directly into the fluffies face
>three research and development cycles of friendliness shines back
>like a beacon of retardation blazing out across a black sea of indifference
>"nyu fwend pway now!? Babbeh WUV nyu taiw fwe-URP!"

>>734070924
2/3
>snakes are just massive tubes of abdominal muscle
>Kellog snaps forward and latches onto the pillowed foal with deadly force and precision
>like an angry, carnivorous sock
>"EEEE! Sowwy sowwy pweas sowwy!!!" fluffy's first instinct is to assume pain is punishment from misbehavior
>it might be a sensible instinct if they were capable of accomplishing anything to be guilty of besides poo
>"SCREE NU HUWT PWEAS SOWWY PWEAS TAIW FWEND!! BABBEH NU KNO WHAT DO SOWWY SOWWY!!"
>in true reptile fashion, Kellog is rolling in a circle while slowly forcing the foal back into his throat
>"PWEAS taiw fwend, babbeh nu am nummies! Nu wan NU WAN!!"
>"BABBEH SOWWY PWEAS PWEAS DADDEH SABE BABBEH NU WAN BE NUMMIES HUUUUU!!"
>"NU WIKE DAWKIES! NU WIKE HUWTIES!! JUS WAN GIVE HUGS AND WUV PWEAS BABBEH SU SOWWY BE GUD BABBEH PWEAS PWEAS PWEAS!!"
>"HUUUUU HU HU HUUU!!"
>slowly he disappears from sight
>interestingly, he is too small to be properly constricted to death by Kellog's esophagus
>you hear his muffled screaming all the way down
>it seems to continue even in Kellog's roiling stomach
>"nu wike nu wike!! Taiw fwend am MUNSTAH, nu fwend!! Babbeh wan out su muchies pweas..."
>fluffy bodies don't have high upkeep, and his oxygen intake is too low for him to suffocate thanks to the small bubble of air that went down with him
>you listen to his feeble apologies while Kellog relaxes and sunbathes
>happy snek

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I'm looking for more of her. Anyone got some?

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Anyone like this little slut?

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>>734070608
How was it?

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>>734070956
i was wanting to edge for hours, but my terrible self control kicked in a little after one

Hi.

>>734071998
Hi, I shit in the streets

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>>734067556
That movie was meh

>>734067556
Good for you mate.

That movie was trash only a pussy would get scared of that movie,and that kid shouldn't have ruined his moms sex life

>>734067897
Pure moonsugar

>>734067897
You shouldn't use cards that you carry in your wallet to make lines OP.... Cops can scrap them for tiny bits of residue and charge you, believe it or not.

>>734067970
true. I been driving for 6 years tho and have never been pulled over

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another 805

Yes, more 805... Lompoc Represent

santa maria 805 reporting in