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Women, smarks, and traditional ideas of marriage all BTFO in

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Women, smarks, and traditional ideas of marriage all BTFO in one night!
>The Hype Bros. vs The Colons: ***
It's a shame that Primo and Epico always get shoved into either squashes or multi-team clusterfucks. Here they get an unusually lengthy pre-show match to show off just how good their psychology can be when there is an actual story to tell in the ring. That story is the triumphant return of Long Island Iced Z, who recieve one of the louder pops of the night and looked like he was on top of the world when delivering the Hype Ryder. Mojo's infectious personality shined brightly in this match as well. This was very solid work that legitimately did not belong on the pre-show.
>Women's MitB: ***1/2
The most noticeable"wymynz wrestling" moment came fairly early on when Natalya climbed up the ladder at a snail's pace because I guess she was worried Charlotte wouldn't get in the ring in time to stop her. Once you get past that moment, this match really worked out nicely. Carmella and Tamina worked perfectly within their limitations. Natty and especially Charlotte picked up the slack to elevate the match. Becky didn't have a whole lot to do in the match which was bizarre because the crowd tonight was raving mad over her. Crowds have been vocally on Becky's side again for month but WWE continues to sweep her under the rug rather than give her the career resurgence she is painfully close to. Ellsworth taking the briefcase and handing it to Carmella was genius. The most genius aspect of that booking is that it successfully makes the women's division the main story heading into Tuesday. I'm more curious to see Shane and Bryan's reactions to that ending than I am anything else WWE has scheduled this week. It also pissed off a lot of people, which sets Carmellsworth up for a legendary heel run.
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>>2774807
>Usos (c) vs New Day: **
What a wet fart of a return for New Day. They mostly just went through the motions and did all of their signatures. Big E in particular did look strong in this match, as his spear through the ropes will never not be a great spot. The Usos need to lose the belts, especially since they can't ever get through one promo as this blackface hoodlum gimmick without corpsing. The countout ending was just salt in the wound to the realization that the Usos would be carrying straps for another month.
>Naomi (c) vs Lana: **
This wasn't the total dumpster fire I was expecting. Lana has wrestled two matches and is already better than All Red Everything ever was. Her gear was the best kind of misogyny, the kind that is so sexy you just stop caring and start enjoying. We got an interesting moment with Carmella coming out to tease a cash-in only to change her mind and look adorable while doing it. The big detractor in this match is the story. The story is supposed to be that Naomi is a significantly better and more serious wrestler than Lana, but the truth is that Naomi is kind of shit at wrestling. She was a standout who should have been champion in the Divas era, nowadays she holds the title and the division back. Fun fact about this match, it was a minute shorter than the pre-show.
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>>2774825
>Hardbody Mahal (c) vs Bob Orton's Son: **
Randy has been wrestling for over a decade. By now he should be able to stand on his own two feet. Needing to stand on the shoulders of his father in order to make this feud work is not only pathetic, but it emphasizes just how forgettable the majority of his career has been. Orton has no excuse not to be as popular as Cena is, he's just a lazy man who does a consistently passable job. It doesn't help that this father's day angle is the sort of story I'm used to seeing in Zack Ryder or Titus O'neil matches a lot further down the card. This was a slow-paced and uninspired championship bout and I cannot blame Jinder at all for this one. Creative's decision to have him sell for several minutes so that Randy could feud with the Bollywood Boys was questionable to say the least. Jinder was actually the best thing about this match, bringing a ferocious offense we have come to expect out of Jinder's matches these days.
>Fashion Police vs The Ascension: **1/2
Faallon Vice was great. Breezango having some momentum is great. This match was subpar. This definitely should have traded spots with the pre-show match.
>Men's Mitb: ***1/2
This was nowhere near as good as it should have been. But shaking off that disappointment reveals a still very solid ladder match. Owens definitely took the most abuse out of anyone, taking another sick brainbuster from Zayn onto the apron and destroying two separate ladders. Zayn continues to phone it in. Corbin has looked better before, I guess he figured with booking on his side he could afford to go half-mast tonight. Nakamura pulling a Roman's Sleeping for half the match left a bad taste in his mouth but the AJ vs Nakamura rematch tease was worth it. The two of them sliding the ladder to the side had me grinning wide. Meanwhile Ziggler, while not standing out in any major way, definitely proved that he is more deserving of a spot in the main event scene than either Zayn or Corbin.
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>>2774844
But I shall reserve judgement of their decision to go with Baron until I at least see what he looks like carrying the case around. This could be a great opportunity for Baron to develop as a character.
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So this is pure unfiltered autism
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>>2774850
Nah it's filtered
>>2774844
>*Fashion
IT'S FILTERED BY THIS SHITTY FUCKING PHONE KEYBOARD
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tl;dr

nice blog, retard
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>>2774864
Ignore the faggots. I like seeing thought out opinions. It's the fucking point of this board.
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>>2774850
Hey, I hate the pedophillic weed dealer as much as the next anon, and normally am more than hapoy to possibly get him one step closer to meeting the reaper, but this thread is better than most of the current threads.
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>>2774877
>>2774880
I see you and I appreciate you. Shitposting should always come second to genuine conversation, and we are gonna make /asp/ great again.
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Giving anything in that ppv more than half star makes you look dumb.
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>>2774807
you write this like you think you know what your talking about meanwhile you literally started watching last year. shut the fuck up.

>"how good their psychology can be"
cringe
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>>2774807
>>2774825
>>2774844
>>2774847
>>2774864
>>2774912
Maybe if ya spent more time focusing on getting a better job instead of writing essays about a childrens show ya wouldnt still be cleaning up doo doo at ya gas station job.
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>>2774982
>>2774987
>Seething nerds
Gives me some raging #girlwood if I'm being honest with you senpais.
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>>2774877
This
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>>2774807
>>2774825
>>2774844
>>2774847
Ignore the bitter fat contraries. I enjoyed your review. And it saved me from actually having to watch it.
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>>2774807
>>2774825
>>2774844
Thanks for the Trooth Bomb!™

Here are my more humble thoughts:
>Womens Mitb
Match was pretty boring. They didn't go all out and do any crazy spots like I thought they would. I think the bookers were scared (probably rightfully so) of injury. Tame match all in all, with a great finish that was one of the highlights of the night.
>Uces v New Day
Pretty good match, notably more exciting than the opener despite no gimmick. Some really nice false finishes. Ending is fine, Usos need to retain the straps.
>NayNay v Lana
Dull match, only there for Carmella's cameo. Probably went for a few minutes longer than it should have.
>Jinder v Orton
Alright. They shouldn't have just reused the exact same finish as last time, what was the point?
>Breezango v Ascension
Shit. Breezango are great, don't waste them on shit like this.
>Men's MitB
Best match of the night but that's not saying much. Corbin winning was the predictable and boring result.

OVERALL RATING: 5.6/10
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Cringe
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>>2774987
Carter please retire from 4chan posting and begin a new career in an actual paying job.
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where are meltzer scoops?
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>>2775494
Considering they didn't even have enough women to fill out six spots, I'd say it makes a lot of sense for the bookers to avoid injury. If even just one woman gets injured, it throws a wrench into months worth of booking (people don't give the women enough credit for the fact that the limited roster means they have to wrestle on tv and at house shows twice as often as most of the male wrestlers).

Even though I thought it turned out fine, mostly because I'm a fan of the finish, I think they really wasted the potential of their first women's MitB match by not waiting until next year. In a month we're going to see a women tournament and WWE is going to have a ton more female faces running around. A year from now women's wrestling will be a lot more evolved thanks to women like Charlotte pushing the envelope and inspiring other women in WWE to take risks. If the first women's MitB happened in 2018 it would have looked a lot different.

Anyways thanks for contributing. I wish more people would take the time to write out their reactions like that on this board.
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>Reviewing and discussing womemes """"""wrestling"""""" in a gas station toilet during your break time
Thread posts: 22
Thread images: 5


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