/asp/ Books an Episode of Raw

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>2196852
*walks down to the ring and grabs a mic

*roman grabs a mic*

>>2196858
BOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRING

BOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRING

>>2196857
>>2196858
"YOU KNOW, I'M SICK OF YOU FATFUCKS BOOING ME EVERY TIME I SHOW UP"

[Roman Smirk™]

Goodberg runs in and spears Roman
Jericho and KO run in, take pants off Roman and hold him
Roman music stopped, he is bend over apron with naked ass, fans are in shock
Music hits
WEEEEEEEEEEEEL ITS A BIG SHOW
Naked Big Show slowly comes to Roman
Fans are chanting YES YES YES

*Cuts promo about winning the title at RR

>>2196862
"YOU ALL NEED TO HAVE SEX ASAP"

>>2196867
*gets thunderous boos*

>>2196865
*Roman dabs*

>>2196873
AHYESSIR

>>2196869
"ANIME SUCKS"

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>>2196869
"YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL EVEN PAY Y'ALL TO HAVE SEX. HEY YOU, THE FAT NECKBEARD WITH THE FINN BALOR T-SHIRT SEETHING UP THERE! GIVE ME YOUR PAYPAL NUMBER AND I'LL HOOK YA WITH AN ESCORT AFTER THE SHOW"

*Roman falls asleep from boring himself from his own promo*

>>2196855
>>2196861
>>2196869
>>2196886

Back to woo

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*ON YOUR KNEES DOUG*

*Roman starts masturbating*

ONE TWO, IS THIS ON?

YO JIMMY HIT ME WITH THAT TRIPLE H

Camera switches to commentary table, where Cole tells us about up next

THIS IS AWESOME

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

THIS IS AWESOME

*GONG*

"It's the Undertaker!

*Undertaker gurgles into the microphone for 18 min over the sounds of the fans chanting "You still got it!"*

>>2196911
*the undertaker dies in the middle of his promo*

>>2196884
YOU GUYS CHEER KEVIN OWENS AND SAMI ZAYN BECAUSE YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE THEM, SPEAKING OF WHICH...

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From Concord, California, comes the most stylish, elegant, bewitching, eternally beguiling, contentiously charismatic, and fantastically fascinating woman to appear in this or any arena. Allow yourself to be seduced, enchanted, dazzled, and entranced by All Red Everything herself, Eva Marie

>>2196911
HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT

>Heel is standing in the ring yelling at the babyface and telling him to come out
>Babyface comes out and enters the ring with a mic in his hand
>Stares at him for a good few seconds before saying...
>....SEEEETHHHINNGGG, SEETHING
>crowd starts chanting SEEETHINGG

>>2196924
BAH GAWD! it's Kane and he's coming out to have a live sex celebration with Eva!

>>2196941
...would watch

Big Boss Man is here to confront the new day!

>>2196915
I JUST FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY....BUT BELEE DAT

THIS IS AWESOME

THIS IS AWESOME

THIS IS AWESOME

>>2196952
His body is disintegrating right in front of our announce table!

Wow!

solid first hour of wrestling here

*Sasha's music hits*

>>2197062
HELLO SASHA WHY FANS BOO ME CHICAGO THIS IS REAL LIFE

>>2197062
*Sasha gives long speech about how Eddie Guerrero was her father figure in life

>>2197067
*Chavo comes out and hits Sasha with a frog splash*

*BRET HEARTS MUSIC HITS*

He doesn't even make it out to the ring because the ratings dropped like a stone.

-Cue commercial break-

>>2197335

Fucking auto correct

>>2197085
FIGHT FOREVER

>>2197335
Cringe

Dont ever try to be funny again

>>2197358
Kek butthurt neckbeard

*Roman superman punches neckbeard in front row*

>>2197359
3 buzzwords in a 3 word post

Utter cringe

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>>2197375
>>2197358

>THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAAAY
>THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAAAY
>THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAAAY

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>>2197358
>>2197375
>SEETHING

*changes the channel*

I'LL BE YOUR END OF DAYS

Jack Swagger shows up, does a promo. The promo is just him saying Nigger

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*cruiserweight division segment*

Five minutes of Neville anally violating Rich "young boy" Swann is broadcast on the titantron

RUSEV PUDRIA

RUSEV MACHKA

>>2197758
*gets massive cheers*

>women's segment on
>match lasts longer than 15 seconds, runs overtime
>crowd visibly annoyed that it's still going on
>this hits
https://youtu.be/BmHZ1UQ9r-0

>>2197792
WE WANT LANA
-CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP-
WE WANT LANA
-CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP-

>>2198162
YOU SEE LADIES, THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, THIS MATCH-UH IS JUST-UH A B+ MATCH, AND THAT'S THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION, BECAUSE I AM THE GAME, THE CEREBRAL ASSASSIN, THE COO, AND THIS MATCH IS
THAT
DAMN
BAD

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BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM

>>2198478
BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP
BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP *wawawawa*

THE MAN CALLED STING
HE'S A MAN CALLED STING
HE DOES THIS
HE DOES THAT
HE'S BIG AS A BULL AND QUICK AS A CAT

SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK

THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL

AND IT IS FOR THE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP

HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA
SO ALL MY GIRLS IN THE CLUB SAY HMM CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW WE DO

>>2201366
INTRODUCING FIRST, THE CHALLENGER

FROM JACKSONVILLE FLORIDA

KELLY

KELLY

New Day is cutting a promo in the ring

>I am a real American, foght for the rights of every man

Hogan comes in and big boots all three members, followed by Atomic Leg Drops.

"Give me a fuckin mic. Vince get down here amd explain to my why these niggers are in my ring. At least get a good nigger like a basketball player or something."

>Phone alert goes off

Michael Cole goes up to a podium. "Hogan, by order of the anonymous GM you now are in a jumping jack competition against this man."

>HOLLA IF YOU HEAR ME!

"HOGAN YOU SONUVA BITCH YOUR DAUGHTER DREW MORE MONEY ON HER BACK THAN YOU EVER DID YOU BITCH IM THE GREATEST MOTHER FUCKER THAT EVER LIVED"

Steiner makes his way to the ring for the jumping jack competition. Forst to do 5 in a row wins. Hogan finds himself unable to jump at all. Steiner falls over everytime he tries.

Steiner yells at the ref, "GET MAH BAGS IM GONNA DO HIM AN EGG."

Ref gets the bag, Steiner pulls out a gun. "This is it you sunova bitch

As Steiner prepares to kill Hogan on live tv, Samoa Joes music hits. He begins running down to the ring and starts talking in the mic. "Good think Twinkies dont expire"

Joe begins licking Steiner and takes him to the ground, biting chunks out of his body. Hogan realizes the is his chance for revenge. He grabs the gun and stands over the two other superstars.

As Hogan prepares himself to take the shot, a sound of crows fill the arena.

The camera pans to different Stings around the arena, then to one in the rafters. Sting jumps off of the rafter with a support vest to confront Hulk.

The rope snaps. Sting falls onto Hogan, instantly killing all 4 superstars.

The emergency staff hurry to the men. Sting was wearing a mask! They remove the mask, and underneath it is still Sting, but in facepaint.

The music hits.

>IM BACK, AND BETTER THAN EVER

"IT WAS ME VINCE, IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!" Eeic Bischoff screams, as the screen goes black. Thats how the Last Raw ever ended.

>>2196924
>>>/smack/

>>2201461
what happened to New Day after the leg drops?

>>2196913

*God appears to banish Taker to hell once and for all*

ONE MORE MATCH

ONE MORE MATCH

*lights go out*

AWW AWWW AWWWWW

YOU THINK I CUTE

YOU KNOW I'M SEXY

>CM Punk's music hits
>Chris Benoit comes out
>reveals he's been pulling the strings in the WWE since 2007
>it was all a lie
>his family is safe and living in Canada
>Vince comes out
>visibly stressed
>starts berating Benoit saying he isn't real
>cut to black
>WWE technical difficulties screen
>come back to empty arena
>replay of the Benoit tribute show
>final shot is a flash of a decrepit Benoit face
>WWE files for bankruptcy the next day
BENOIT WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE

>>2201584
hung on trees by orders of hulkkk hogan

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman and my client... isn't here tonight!

*Booooooooo*

Roman Reigns, this sunday, the Beast Incarnate it's going to DESTROY YOU

*Roman drops his mic and teases attacking Heyman*

I'M JUST A MESSENGER

HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?

Hardcore Holly makes his way to the ring...

THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SET FOR ONE FALL IN A "FUCK YOU KARL YOU PIECE OF SHIT HOOT" MATCH

>>2201370
Totally banged her in high school before she was famous.

>>2201354
would mark/10