Russoize the Royal Rumble 2017

Reverse Battle Royal

Roman wins the title and the rumble by driving a truck through the ring

>>2176109
Bro, it's gonna be great. So we'll have the 30-man Royal Rumble for the title, but it'll be inside a steel cage. All 30 participants are in the ring, together, at the start of the match. You eliminate your opponents by climbing up the cage and dumping them over it, you follow me? So we're gonna have a returning Judy Bagwell win the match. But the finish will be her getting stuck on a pole at the top of the cage. I come out and dump her over the top, making me the champion again because I will be the 30th person. I put in a decoy at the start of the match. Swerve. It's gonna be great bro, trust me.

>>2176113
I'd mark

>>2176109
Okay... Russo comes out when number 30 is supposed to be coming out with a piece of paper.
"Tha script says that Goldberg is supposed to come out and win the Royal Rumble, well I'm trowing the script away and I'M going to be number 30!"
And wins.

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Put it in a hell in a cell and instead of throwing your opponent over the top rope, there's 29 nooses and you win when all other 29 people have been hanged á la Big Boss Man.

>The Club is dominating the match
>BUT WHO IS THE THIRD MAN?!
>CHO-CHO-CHOSEN ONE
>IT'S JEFF JARRETT!!!!!
>Jarrett hits Goldberg with a guitar and eliminates him
>BAW GAWD JEFF JARRETT'S GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA
>Anderson and Gallows lift Jarrett up and parade him around

>>2176109
Alright bro listen, here's what we are gonna do.

You start of the rumble as normal, you know, let the new day do their thing and take out the lower card guys. Then halfway through James Ellsworth comes out with Carmella and get's his ass kicked, then not long after you get Brock and Goldberg out.

Now here's the thing,when Brock and Goldberg start fighting, they really start laying into each other, you want the audience to think it's real, you want Brock to look like he's murdering this old man. Get all the guys in the back to come out and try and break it up because they're breaking the script. I swear to god man, the audience will get so hype for this cause they won't know if this is a work or a shoot.

While they are brawling they knock Carmella over and she starts crying because here's the thing, it turns out the reason she's hanging around Ellsworth is that Ellsworth knocked her up during a party and getting hit that hard by the big guys has made her have a fucking miscarriage.

Now Ellsworth goes nuts and starts beating on the big guys with a chair and then Big Cass comes out and starts beating the fuck outta him because obviously he ain't happy about his girl getting knocked up.

I swear on my kids bro, this is the kinda shit that makes money, that draws ratings. You watch the best TV and what draws the highest ratings?. Exactly.

Now while these guys are all beating on each other you get in all the other heavy hitters, you get Bray and Taker in there and they stare at each other, you know, cause obviously people still want to see these two fight right.

Then boom, fucking swerve, Bray starts giving Taker orders, he voluntarily dives out and lets Taker clean house, at this point Brock and Goldberg have been arrested cause, like I said, you want them to think this is all real bro.

Then it comes down to Braun and Taker and they go at it, the other Wyatts keep interfering to help Taker but Braun ultimately throws him out.

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Bro, Vince Mcmahon comes out and gives a SAVAGE worked shoot promo on Roman Reigns. Then HHH comes out a gives a work promo on Roman. Then Stephanie comes out a SHOOTS on both HHH and Vince and admits to fucking Reigns! Finally Roman comes out and gives a work promo on the whole situation while SHOOTING on Dean Ambrose fucking Renee. Steph admits to having a baby with Roman. Commentators start work shooting on WWE and wrestlers. And bro, here comes the big one...THERE IS NO RUMBLE. SWERVE.

Bro, we're gonna have Jinder Mahal come out and street clothes and have him cut a promo about how he's not following the script and therefore refuses to go over the top rope.

Jinder Mahal then wins the Rumble. The whole thing is never mentioned again afterwards.

Braun wins when the referee counts out Kevin Owens who isn't in the Rumble.

>>2176250
Now here's the thing, once Braun throws out Taker, the match doesn't end cause Big Cass comes back from beating the shit outta Ellsworth.

They start fighting, you let them start beating on each other, you know like it's Goldberg vs Steiner all over again but here's the twist, when Braun goes to clothesline Cass over the top rope, the two get all tangled up and they both go over.

Now here's the thing, before this match you have Roman go over Owens in his Universal title match. The problem with WWE today bro is no one looks like a star, they're all good wrestlers true but they don't look right. I mean look at the highest rated TV shows, the main guys in those always good looking or ripped or you know, they have something. Cass, Roman and Braun have that something.

So here's the thing, main event of wrestlemania you have the triple threat between these three. You have a main event between three young guys who all have a good look and defined complex characters,Roman's the guy, Braun's the big guy betrayed by his own family and hunted by his former family and the Undertaker, obviously they show up in the match, and you have Cass whose trying to balance his dreams of being Universal champ with looking after his traumatized girlfriend and her skinny partner, I'm telling you man people love cuck stories. I swear to god bro this will sell out any arena in the world.

Bro, let's just have the royal rumble match but instead of eliminating each other, the wrestlers have to try to get inside the ring and grab Stacy Keibler's bra hanging from the top like MITB. the first person to smell her bra wins. The ratings will rise and we will work the media so hard WWE's stock will be higher than Hulk Hogan's Gawker trial reward.

Goldberg and Lesnar enter at #1 and #2. They eliminate each other immediately and go in the back without brawling or anything, thus, leaving the ring empty for 90 seconds. Kota Ibushi, who is dressed as Nia Jax, wins the Rumble.

ohn Cena vs AJ Styles

Styles comes out in street clothes, saying he's Allen jones, and he's here to do his "job" to help the ratings for WM season. He lays down for Cena, who pins him and is given a toy title.