What kind of grown man describes himself this way? Can't

I have no opinion on this guy, but I really hope he wins his ufc debut. I want to see all the posters like OP get rekt

>>1267923
I would too, but it's not going to happen. He's going to get knocked the fuck out and Dana will have a cry because another of his big attractions went spiralling down the shitter.

How is a guy who can't even stay in shape and brags about eating junk food and drinking soda going to fight in the UFC? He's going to learn pretty quickly that he can't "fake" this... I bet he thinks he will be booked to win and doesn't realize it's real

>>1267910
He's clearly joking you dip. God I hope he wins and /asp/ commit mass suicide

>>1267953
>brags about eating junk food and drinking soda
what meme is this?

>>1267910

>implying he'll still be 37 by the time he fights

actually what am I saying? he'll NEVER fight. too weak, too vegan, too emo

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>>1267981
>he's only pretending to be retarded

Phil has always described himself as at least a straight edge jerk. He's not joking now either.

>>1268081
>pls don't break my fragile bones again Mr. Ryback sir

>>1267953
>I bet he thinks he will be booked to win and doesn't realize it's real
>UFC
>real

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>>1268092

>>1267910
Get worked.

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>>1267910

>>1268081
I'm a Punk mark but Ryback should've gone over at that PPV.

>no instagram account

why? does he equate ig to drugz?

>>1268357
He added it because people relentlessly tweeted him asking if he had an Instagram account and was tired of responding "no." (Which, by the way, he does have one now, but hasn't updated his bio.)

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>>1267910
>Hypocrit
>Whiner
>Coward
>Manlet
>Doesn't stop using HGH
>Pregnant
>Entitled brat
>Can't read
>Bald
>Pathetic quitter
>Most boring guy in any room at any time
>Hissy fit enthusiast
>Roid Man
>Test dodger
>HGH Belly
>Dangerous Worker
>Slaps his head to beat the demons out, just like Benoit
>All his matches are sloppy and riddled with botches
>Ultra-sensitive
>Tumblr feminist
>His belly is ready to pop at any second
>Faggot
>Likes traps
>Doesn't like women
>Zero coordination
>Prefers Roids to Breakfast
>HGH drips out of his mouth on every promo
>RVD Ripoff
>Never drew a penny
>Tragic non-steroid diet
>Potty mouth
>Brittle meat
>Failed to take the advice from the great CM Punk
>Hasn't taken a shower
>Hasn't hit the hospital for a checkup
>Hasn't got a clue
>My Chemical Hormone fan
>Wrote...he can't. Illiterate
>Desperate to be edgy. Fails miserably
>Drones on about being big, no one cares
>Thinks ripping off Goldberg is cool, it is not
>Mr. I steal moves
>HGH stolen from Arnold
>Adored by beta morons
>Jobs more than Ziggler
>Cried about Punk
>Cried about his little pecker
>Cried about Titus blacking him
>Cried about Vince
>Cried about his HGH dosage not being enough
>Cried about the doctors
>Cried about his salary
>Is the only person who sees talent in his jobbing
>Performs worst move set
>Booked as a monster and now losing to illegal immigrants on the daily
>Most laughable failure in WWE history

>>1268564
Super fan over here

>>1267923
Go back to training Phill

>>1268342
Saved

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>>1267910

>GOAT
>Rich as fuck
>Famous
>6'2
>Big dick
>Fucked Lita, Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, Daffney, Maria Kanellis, Traci Brooks
>Married AJ Lee
>Two 5 star matches
>Is straight-edge; completely toxic free
>Got out of wrestling before he destroyed his body
>Didn't take WWE's shit
>Anti-smarks still obsessed with him years after he left
>Exposed HHH
>Exposed Ryback
>Exposed The Rock
>Exposed Roman Reigns
>Exposed Vince
>Exposed Dr. Amann
>Exposed Chris Jericho
>Most important indy wrestler of all time
>Was the absolute greatest on the mic
>Brought wrestling back to the mainstream and made it cool again
>Outsold John Cena in merchandise
>Was the first to endorse Antonio Cesaro and Seth Rollins before they even got to the main roster
>Was able to elevate himself from a heatless directionless midcarder to red hot main event status in just 6 minutes
>Was universally over with everyone
>Was the best part about the show anytime he was on
>Had the best theme songs in wrestling history
>Amazing technician
>Most entertaining guy in any room at any time
>Cool as fuck
>Hot as fuck
>Had the best match with Brock Lesnar since his return
>Had one of the best streak matches with Undertaker
>Had the best match with John Cena in his entire career and also his greatest rival
>Is the reason people finally started to say no to WWE's bullshit
>Is the reason based DBry had his WrestleMania moment
>Is considered one of the greatest of all time by Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret Hart and Mick Foley
>Is best friends with Paul Heyman
>Proven draw anytime WWE gave him a chance
>Destroyed The Rock on the mic
>Not a single bad promo in his entire career
>Buried Ryback
>Was brave enough to jump ship to UFC
>Will go down in history as one of the greatest of all time

>>1268081
Phils_UFC_career.JPG

>According to Punk, he didn't walk out, he was fired
>Ryback actually walks out

Uhhhh we hate Ryback now, right?

>>1269592
Difference is Ryback walked for being legitimately mistreated and stuck in the bottom card, and actually handled it with some dignity / immediately explained his reasoning without throwing a tantrum on a podcast. Punk walked out after being given multiple titles and main events and getting to work with Brock Lesnar and The Rock, but all of that still wasn't enough for him, and he cried all the way out, refused to even make any kind of statement to fans and is still acting like a passive-aggressive baby over wrestling to this day.

>>1269642
>This whole post

>>1269642
This is accurate

>>1267910
Well, at least he's honest

>>1267910

The smart kind who can market himself into getting paid by UFC to do nothing