Archived threads in /asp/ - Alternative Sports & Wrestling - 836. page

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>"Cena’s status as a Free Agent has the WWE Universe wondering exactly what that means for his future. WWE.com has learned that The Cenation Leader became a Free Agent during the Superstar Shake-up after WrestleMania, but not much else is known about what that status entails. Cena has been Team Blue through and through since the WWE Brand Extension, having been the third selection (seventh overall) of SmackDown LIVE Commissioner Shane McMahon and General Manager Daniel Bryan in the WWE Draft."

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I've seen some threads in the past where people did OC over wrestlers themes, usually replacing words with NO DIMES and whatnot. Lets try to be more original and create some great content. This is to the tune of "BOYS IN THE HOOD" by NWA however I prefer and wrote this to the Dynamite Hack version - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeL9gagV_VA

pt 1
Woke up alone at about noon
Just thought that I had to get out of moms basement soon
I gotta hit /asp/ and spam some sameposts
Before Meltzer starts bitchin' about my shows
Went to a RAM show and damn near went blind
Young smarks in the front row with NJPW signs
I asked what that was then yelled out WHAT
With my IM A HUGGER SHIRT holdin in my gut
I spent all my cash on this ticket and Reigns swag
I'm a Big Dog fan you dweebs best baleedat
I got back on /asp/ and blatantly lied
Only took a pic of the non curtained off side
Then I told them WWE is ok
Just blame the shit ratings on the NBA
It was another boring rematch at the start of the card
Then I saw Bay Leno and my dick got hard
Cuz im postin on /asp/ wit my smartphone
Trollin the nerds and working the drones
I went to the shitter cuz it was 205
Flippy shit midgets never drew a dime
My phone started ringin who can it be?
It's my mom screamin HAVE SEX YOU JANETTY
She calls me a cuck and starts to tell me
"It's all about winning that I.W.G.P."
'Cause the boys in Nippon are always hard
Come talkin' that trash and they'll pull your card
Knowin' nothin' in life but to be strong style
Don't blame Vinny Mac he's just senile
Bored with RAM so I wanna get ill
So I go to a place where my e-drones chill
The marks in here all know my shit
I hit the VPN and use multiple trips

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Why can only Cruiserweights and women win with submissions nowadays? What happened to the prestige of the submission?

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why do they send belts to people who don't give two shits about the company?

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Only belts that have had legendary reigns to solidify their prestige.

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She is growing on me desu lads

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>whole arena goes dark
>suddenly
https://youtu.be/ATUAmQ1QEKk
>fire pyro shoots from ground
>i walk in slowly flexing every muscle in my body with my eyes closed but visibly twitching
>once i stand outside the ring i begin to shake
>i open my eyes
>i then throw my large jacket in the air and get in the ring quickly
>i mosh against each turnbuckle while losing my mind entirely punching things including myself
>my opponent stands outside the ring looking intimidated

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>be indy guy
>get offered NXT contract
>refuse
KEK
we are at the point where nobody will want to sign with the sinking ship

Hows that Adam Cole appearance btw?

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>mom cutting her monthly promo on how im a pathetic, worthless, waste of space on planet earth
>15 minutes in she stops and asks if im even paying attention to her
>turn around
>open my eye Naito style
>say TRANQUILO!
>shes fucking red hot from anger
>starts hitting me
>dad is dying of laughter as I just walk away
kek, fuck dis bitch

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>leaves WWE and tours with his band
>ratings plummet
hmm... really makes ya think...

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Based Naito

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*breaks your scale*

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Lashley WWE return when?

I watched some of his stuff on Impact recently he seems like he's improved a ton since he was in WWE (I can't believe it's almost been a decade). It's a cliche dream match but Lashley vs Lesnar would be gold

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Prove me wrong

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Why didn't WWE sign him?

Just watched Dominion as my first NJPW event, I like how he moves around the ring, his sliding around and corner splash are cool