Archived threads in /asp/ - Alternative Sports & Wrestling - 646. page

Reddit/10

>>2841811
9/10. Would have been 10 if he was in his prime

>>2841811
9/10

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I tried to respond, but my charisma was so lacking that all I managed to garble out was a string of incomprehensible references to kickpads and workrate. Nash shook his head and muttered "We got a lot of fuckin' work to do."

I spent the next several days in the dream world learning the art of Big Daddy Cool. My intensive training covered the realms of economics, hair care, technical wrestling, working the marks, technically wrestling, parenting, proper hand-to-pocket technique, taser use, and grammar. I felt myself grow taller, I felt my hair grow longer, I felt my muscles reach full mass, but above all, I felt myself attain Nashmotality. I had transcended mortal marks. I was God.

When the time came for my final lesson, Nash dismissed Work back to Valhalla to wait for him, as part of the final lesson required a match between the two of us, a match that Work would undoubtedly have booked himself to interfere in if he stuck around. Nash and I entered the ring and stood nose-to-nose. In that moment, I suddenly realized that we were not alone. The previously empty arena was now absolutely packed. In fact, there were over 500,000 screaming marks holding up charts proving our draw power as signs, a further testament to the box office juggernauts Nash and I had become. The crowd roared with trepidation as they eagerly awaited our five star classic. Nash looked at me seriously and said, "This is the last fuckin' thing you need to know. The most important fuckin' lesson: Money. And miles." I nodded my head in understanding, and made my move. I poked Nash in the chest.

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I awoke suddenly in a cold sweat and sat up in bed with a start. Before I could despair at my ascension to Godhood and elimination of my vanilla midget status being nothing but a dream, I realized that my legs where hanging off the bed. I felt the back of my head, and my luscious black locks that were not dyed at all were still intact. I threw my sheet off me, and saw that my muscles were still gigantic. It worked! My evolution had carried over from the dream world into reality!

Eager to test out my new powers, I quickly ran to the living room to find my insubordinate, neckbeard son abusing my girlfriend. I cackled with glee, and began to work a five star match. I punched my son into a corner, made him eat an elbow, tossed my hair back several times, and sidewalk slammed him through the kitchen table. A referee crashed in through the window and counted pin before I could even put a foot on his chest. It was over. I had buried my first vanilla midget.

But just before I could put my hand in my pocket in celebration and begin collecting on all the money I drew, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out, assuming it was just the President touching base on my upcoming ceremony for the Congressional Medal of Honor, but was confused when I saw this wasn't the case. The text wasn't from the President. The text was from myself. I hastily opened the message, assuming it was some sort of error. My eyes scanned the screen...and my confusion turned to terror. I felt a sudden pang of pain in both of my quads, and I collapsed to the floor. Muscles began to shrink, my hair came out in tufts, my legs shortened back to their vanilla midget status as I felt my charisma become sapped from me like a life force...the text had simply read:

"You got worked."

49-1

McGregor will KO Floyd stiff

Worked

>>2841617
No dude, her and Sasha want to rip each others heads off. Hoping for some hatefuk

Worked

2013

2013

Gotta be 2013 or 2014, right?

That's Mark Henry you racist

That's Titus O'Neil and Akira Tozawa.

>>2841503
Guys don't make jokes like that, it's clearly titus

>>2841469
Kenny Omega Vs. Xavier Woods

KO vs. KO

Which Canadian is truly the face of America.

>Neville vs. Takahashi
>Ambrose vs. Suzuki
>Roman vs. Naito
>Seth vs. Okada
>Styles vs. Omega
>Cena vs. Tanahashi

>>2841459
Hi, Ishii-san. Please don't flatten me with a lariat.

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>>2841459
>no-selling is the gimmick

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>>2841463

>>2841384
>One's better than the other
Why does it have to be a competition? They're both really good at what they do in their own ways. Kenny is lighting the wrestling world on fire right now, and everyone knows what's up with Ishii. Everyone can agree that he's the man. He'll never be the big main event star (he rook rike thumb), but he'll go down as a legend nonetheless.

Random Ishii stat: No one in any part of the world has ever tuned in or bought a ticket to any event because Ishii would be there.

>>2841411
butthurt naito fan detected

>>2841369
Does she take it up the ass like a champ tho? Gotta ask the important questions here, OP

>>2841369
absolutely agree but good luck convincing this board consisted of obese sweaty neckbeards that

You're not the Ireland > Scotland guy are you?

>tfw Tanahashi did nothing wrong

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>>2841362
Op mad he can't even get a gf let alone a wife.

>>2841362
How much weird shit do you think a handsome tall fit Jap wrestler receives from fangirls?

Where is supposed to keep all of it? Seek sunlight.

>>2841246
>"Rockrear"

>>2841246
She doesn't look bad here. What happened?

>>2842041
Gains and implants

wrestlemania to summerslam to be number one

because it's a much bigger deal to win the belt at WM compared to summerslam

>>2841252
Fair enough. This is more from the perspective of having a solid reign and then putting the next guy over, though.

Never going to to tier
Wrestlemania- Raw after mania

I kind of really want Carmella to fail the cash-in on Becky. She's been screwed so much, let her be a big winner and overcome the bullshit for once.

>>2841247
WE NEED TO GET HEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAT

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>>2841250
>mfw Becky wins the belt at SummerSlam, gets cashed in on and loses and loses and loses until she wins a heatless five-way at Mania long after everyone's stopped caring.

Indy manlet was never a draw without the cliz.

>>2841248
This.
Shoulda never departed from NJPW.

>>2841232
Zero charisma. Cant draw dimes on the global stage.

>any excuse to post this pic
Please get a life

Wore my MAGA hat to the polls and told a guy "Trump 316 just saved America" after I voted.

Joke's on me, I work for Carrier and just lost my job. Trump sure swerved me!!

Next cringiest thing will be when I pull an Owen and jump off my apartment building! Thanks Mr. President!

>>2841222
When I was a kid I had a cheap knockoff Rey Mysterio mask. I wore it to the market once or twice.

Once again, I was a kid.