Archived threads in /asp/ - Alternative Sports & Wrestling - 1060. page

>>2603162
>teams up with Sami Zayn to be the Ginger Beard Bombers

>>2603172
Add sheamus as tranny manager

>>2603162
>The WWE World Heavyweight Championship presented to Jinder... Tortellini?!

They're using him in promotional material for PPVs, advertising him to kick off TV and they're using him in the dark match at the end of SmackDown to keep people through 205 Live.

Pretty good.

And if they didn't do this people would say they aren't using or building him up.

>>2603145
Nakamura is a confirmed draw. WWE realises Japan is a draw and smarks love their weeaboo shit. It won't be long before Vince has Roman jobbing out to Asuka.

>>2603026
Why would he commit suicide?

Reminder that he's going to be squashed by Brock, then lose again to Roman who will go on to beat Brock himself

I still don't get how WWE managed to create a really likable monster that is loved by the fans by complete accident when they were trying to get Roman over

>>2602958
Im a smark and i don't care, i dont hate rusev or alexa.

They can wrestle, and they can talk.

>>2602958
Based RuRu working the American Obese Smarks.

>>2602958
What are you even talking about? Smarks worship these two. They'd gulp down Alexa's steaming shit if asked.

i hope not

brayy is fucking C R I N G E

House of Broken match when

One of them is over the top, cartoon, silly, cringe worthy, and embarrassing to watch. The other is Matt Hardy.

Of course not, hell, he wouldn't have even made it in the wrestling business if his daddy didn't own the company

>>2602939
IDK I think he got a decent stage presence and a good rock n roll voice. Biggest What if for me

>>2602972
I'll give your stage presence, but his voice is nothing special IMO, rhythm sound like someone singing karaoke.

Bigger question is are any of those wrestlers (Hulk) actually playing the instruments?

"Vince, I'm already a BIG DOG OOOOOOOHHHHHAAAAAAAH!"

File: roman cant lift undertaker.gif (4MB, 444x231px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 444x231px

>>2602859
I'm BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOcluear! I'm wild!

I shurfive

File: 1490845235560.jpg (46KB, 531x411px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 531x411px

>>2602739
E Drone defense force incoming

Lets fend them off with a peace offering! How about some ice cold kool aid

>>2602739
they arent going to make any dimes here with just one white guy on the roster, bro

>>2602739
can't wait for E drones to shit on this BASED ad

>>2602708
The light at the end of the tunnel is when ALL E Drones kill themselves

>>2602715
You forgot your trip namefag

>>2602722
rent free you obese anti-smark

>come back from commercial break
>Roman getting wheeled into an ambulance for the 938th time
>Vince McMahon himself stops them midway
>cries on Roman's vest
>"y-you're sup-posed to be r-really s-strong"
>doctors successfully wheel Roman into the back of the ambulance and manage to close one door
>guy behind ambulance closes right door nonchalantly
>female doctor walking past the driver's side window suddenly screams

I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOUUUU

>Braun is the driver
>peels out and watches in rearview mirror as Roman's gurney falls out the back of the ambulance
>stops ambulance and gets out
>picks the entire gurney up and throws Roman into a dumpster
>pulls out matches
>lights it on fire
>stares into camera

BRRAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN

>next week
>Roman in intensive care after being treated for severe burns on 5th floor of hospital
>nurse walks in and hands Roman's caretaker his dinner so he can feed it to him
>Roman weakly sits up and opens his mouth for food
>glass from nearby window shatters
>Braun peeks through side after scaling entire building

I'M STILL NOT FINISHED WITH YOUUUU

>kicks Roman in the head and knocks him out cold
>rips all the shit hooked up to him off except the blood pouch hooked into his vein for support
>squeezes pouch and rushes all the blood into Roman's veins
>Roman in his incredibly weakened state screams like a 4-year old girl
>Strowman savagely pummels his Samoan barbecue face until it looks like rhubarb
>takes a shit on Roman's chest
>kicks entire bed over and throws Roman out the window into traffic

BRRRRAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN

>one month later
>Roman's funeral
>it took them a month because his wife went into a coma from the trauma and only just now woke up
>Roman's casket on display in a nice upscale church
>priest proceeds to give speech about Roman's life
>"He was a caring man. A loving one, at that. He gave us all laughter, happiness, and we cherished his presence, hopefully as much as he did our's. We will dearly miss Roman, but not nearly as much as his father, Vince McMah-

I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOUUUU

>car crashes into side of church wall
>multiple old ladies faint
>one old man has heart attack
>children cry profusely
>beta E-drone cuck marks out near the concession area
>Strowman jumps out and pushes Roman's casket off the pedestal onto the floor
>pries casket open with bare hands
>pulls out gun and shoots Roman's charred, broken remains in what he perceives is his head
>priest throws holy water on Strowman

BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN

book it Vince

I can hear the E drones seething already

That's a fan account. NJPWGlobal is the real one.

>>2602589
>>2602596
E DRONES will recover by watching their hannah barbera cartoons while sucking on their thumb telling themselves "everything will be alright"

>>2602581
Who cares you curry eating, poo in the loo, pajeet drone

Kill yourself

>>2602591
Wait, i thought this one was about jinder mahal?

I'll give him 7 stars if he can properly use a western toilet.

>>2602535
Who cares?

You fucking idiot E Drones will keep watching anyway lmfao

>>2602545

Were we supposed to stop watching because he lost?

He's dead now thanks to Braun, And will be the new Undertaker.

>>2602450
HAHAHA WHICH ONE WAS THE JANNETTY HAHAHA YOU SEETHING LMAO

Jimmy Ocean now could take on DX in their prime!

>>2602450
THE ELITE. THE THE ELITE

What will his new gimmick be?

>>2602339
I'll chip away and classify my toothbrush obsolete

>>2602391
Kek