ITT: annoying shit cats do

put a sock on her head for 5 minutes

>>2466692

>meows and stands next to the bowl
>clearly she's hungry
>open up one of her fav cans
>squash the food with a fork (into the tiny pieces) into her bowl so it's even easier to chew
>sniffs it
>looks at me
>leaves the room without touching it
>Let me guess... you weren't hungry at all?


Crap happens often with different foods.

>>2466732
I got one like that
>cat is walking around my feet trying to lead me to his bowl
>all purring and nice (only when hungry)
>fine, lets go feed you
>bowl full of food
>bowl full of water
>cat is pawing at it and staring at me meowing
Fuck's sakes.

>>2466732
>depriving your cat the simple satisfaction of chewing a thick meaty mouthful of food

I'd be mad too.

>>2466732
Every time.

Why do you people own these despicable annoying pests waking you up every morning at 2 AM? Every cat owner I see has dark circles around their eyes from not being able to fucking sleep properly.

>>2467190
>never had a purrmonster nuzzle their face in the morning
What a sad life you live.

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>maine coon cat
>never shut up
>EVERY night picks up all toys over the entire house while caterwauling and drops them at the foot of the bed before jumping in bed
>runs to the door like a dog wanting to attack if someone knocks or rings doorbell
ok that one is kinda cool desu

Cleans paws in water a y water as long as its drinkable l, aka me and everyone cups have to put lids on my cups now because of that shit. Will wake me up or keep me up to play or kneed. Meows extremely loud like she's upset if she doesn't know where i am. Cuddles when she wants to cuddle, will not cuddlewhen i wanna cuddle.

>>2466692
This seems like a good place to ask. My gf and I got a cat and she's been nothing but nice to him and loving and doing all these great things for him. But for some reason he will not stop biting her. She tries to pet him and he attacks her. He attacks her when she's laying in bed and will scratch at her face.

What the fuck do you do with that? It's making her miserable.

>infect people with toxoplasmosis

>>2467247
Is it a kitten? It's pretty normal for kittens to scratch and bite a lot. Happened with all of the cats I've had when they were little.

Also if her cat bites her and it breaks skin, she should seek professional medical attention asap.

>>2467275
He has broken skin on both of us a few times. He's a little over 1 year old. We're pretty much ready to get rid of him, he won't stop biting her. She's been to the doctor for other reasons, but not for the cat bites. She had a bunch of blood work done which came back fine. What should we check for if we go to the doctor?

>>2467283
Cat bites are just very likely to become infected. If he's bitten you and you haven't gotten infected you probably have a great immune system.

If the biting is a really big problem, then feel free to give him up, but with my cats the biting stopped after a year and a half or a couple years.

>>2467287
infections come from bacteria picked up from dirt and vermin from going outside. That applies to literally every predator animal. Non venomous snakes and lizards all have high infection rates on bites for the same reason. If it's a strict inside cat it isn't carrying all that bacteria in it's claws and mouth.

>>2466692
>sleeping with door closed

My cat is either sexually insatiable, or my q-tip action is incredibly lacking and she fakes orgasms. I've disgraced myself multiple times, she does the howling thing followed by rolling around on the floor, and is back on her seductive bullshit within fifteen minutes.

Don't tell me to get her spayed, I'm booking an appointment for that the moment she's finished with this shit (which has been four days so far.)

>exist

>>2467317
Retarded catfags actually believe this

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>>2466692
>literally shits on the fucking floor every day

>>2466692
One of my cats recently started doing this shit.
She used to come in immediately when I opened the door to her meowing.

The past few weeks though she meows and scratches on the door and just sits there when I open it. If I go to pick her up she runs away. Close the door and repeat.

>>2467955
I also have a second cat that does this. I brought him the biggest litterbox I could find and even though he digs in the center, he shits over the edge every fucking time. I just put the box in a corner and put paper on the side so it's easy to clean. Cats are assholes, but at least they are easy and relatively cheap to care for.

>>2467190
Mine only wakes me when it's important. She has justified and earned her place in my home, 10 fold.

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>>2467970
Try cutting an opening in pic related?
They make pretty good litterboxes.

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>>2467970
She goes off and on, she suddenly developed a huge fear of the litterbox, but she still pees in it? Shes a weirdo.

>Boyfriend's Dad's cat
>Every time I'm over, she gets close to me and occasionally rubs up against me
>Always meows at me
>Think that she wants to be pet
>Stoke her for a little bit
>She bites me

Fucking w h y

>>2468121
that is such a shart tattoo on so many levels
>wrong teeth
>vagina ear
>sailor moon wands for what purpose
why do people pay money for this garbage doodles on their skin?

>>2468145
How do you stroke her?

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>>2467190
So the rest of us can identify them as the stupid sociopathic cunts they are from their cat-reeking clothes

>>2468145
Bites-bites you or simply places her mouth/teeth on your hand? My cats respond to stimulation with "biting" but never aggressive enough to pierce skin (even though it kinda-sorta hurts). Love bites and hate bites are different.

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>go to bed with my gf for sex
>in the middle of it
>hear door creek
>bells jingling
>too busy in the moment
>about to finish
>"Mrrrorrr"
>cat comes between us
>sits on wife's chest, slapping his tail in my wife's face
>nuzzles my beard
>blows a load in my gf while the cat is purring
>mfw

>>2470335
Why is your wife in the room while you're fucking your GF? She a femcuck?

>>2466692
>Fill glass up with water to drink
>take a few sips before putting it on table next to me
>Cat jumps up on me then to the table to try and drink from my glass
>Pick up glass to stop him
>he jumps back on top of me waiting for me to lower it or pit it back on the table
I don't get it he has his own water, why does he want mine?

>>2467190
Well most fgts dont know rhat you can align your cats sleep cycle with yours. My cat sleeps with me on my bed and wakes me up at 6am so need for alarm. 10/10 best cat ever.

>>2467247
Dump her, your cat knows your thot is no good. Listen to your supreme lord.

>>2468399
Its cool man, since its not on my skin. Though i agree the ears looks weird af

>>2466805
the food was stale. do you want to eat stale food? asshole

>>2468145
>rubs up against me
Apparently this is how they mark their territory

Man you guys have so annoying cats.
My cats never did any of this stuff.
Were they breed right? Cats being away from thier mother too soon causes problems, also they shouldn't live with a shut in, they need exposure.

>>2466692
>annoying things cats do
How about everything.

>>2467493
kill yourself

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Jump on my desk

My cat is one aggressive fucker.
She never attacks me but pretty much everyone else. I can't have people at my place because my cat will attack them.

>>2467238
>runs to the door like a dog wanting to attack if someone knocks or rings doorbell
Yeah, that one is great. The manager at my old apartment complex would always talk about our 'guard cat' when he came by to do repairs.

>>2468436
console peasant gets put in place

>>2468414
In a "Come hither" motion with the index finger.

>MEAOW MEOW YINGINGINGINGINGRENGNENGINGYANG at the door while rattling the doorknob and looking at me
>Open door
>Run back into bedroom and sit in window
>Close door
>Repeat two minutes later
I love him though.

>>2470551
How did you do it? Sounds comfy

>>2466695
>implying the sock would last that long

>>2467247
Learn to handle your cat. She's probably not been petting it properly, on top of not being good with animals in the first place. If the cat wants not to do with her, she needs to leave it alone.

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>>2475451
>She's probably not been petting it properly,
Cats fucking suck for so many reasons.

https://youtu.be/3UFdfN0_QPU

>>2467247
Your girlfriend is cheating on you. Clearly she's giving off some kind of secretive/evasive energy that's making the cat uncomfortable, or worse yet she has coon pheromones wafting off her clothing. Your cat knows she's up to no good and wants to protect you.

>>2466692
>can't have meal in piece because he keeps crying
I legit don't know what he wants
Is not food.

>>2466692

Bro, my Maine Coon does that shit all the time even when it's not storming. Cats are just annoying assholes.

>>2470335

>wife
>gf

wot

>>2466692
>Be ausfag
>cats kill every native animal
>advocate killing cats
>go to kangaroo island
>they have a system that detects when cats are near it, spray them with poison
>dumb shits like their fur with the poison on it
>dies
Just starting to get comfy lads

>>2476127
What? A man can't have a threesome with his wife and girlfriend?

>>2466692
>Dogs look out window,
>Cat sneaks up and jumps on glass and scares them
>Dogs go fucking crazy

>>2466692
>middle of the night
>loud stomping and sound of claws skidding on hardwood
>cat tearing ass around house for no reason

>>2466692

He just wants to make sure you're there. Try leaving your door cracked.

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Take my picture

fuck cats

>>2477754
>house plan provides a large U-turn for my cat to run like a nascar track back and forth.
>Hits the turn with so much speed he loses all control
>smashes into the bedroom door waking up everyone in the house

every night.

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My cat is an old man with hyperthyroidism

>15 year old Bengal
>wake up 4 times a night because the beast hungers
>eats 3 or 4 large cans of food every day
>blackneighbors feed him treats
>whiteneighbors feed him hot dogs
>one or two whole hot dogs
>every day
>he hunts birds and bunnies and skinks and anything else small enough to eat
>eats them whole, leaving only head and guts of bunnies
>still skin and bones enough to make my neighbors question whether I feed him enough
>pic related

>>2466732
>>2466805
Can anyone enlighten me why cats do that?

>>2466732
You change her food too often.

>>2466692
Cats don't like closed doors.

>>2466805
Food wasn't fresh/you occasionally refresh food bowl when it's not empty, which has trained him to pull the slot machine lever for possible rewards.

>>2467247
Who is the primary caretaker of the cat? Who feeds it? Who plays with it? Describe the play. Would you consider this outright aggression, attention-seeking, or the nebulous love-biting issue?

>>2468145
That isn't always an invitation to be petted. Next time, extend a hand half a foot from her face to smell your hand. If she moves the top of her head or cheek to your hand, you are allowed to pet her head. If not, she'll just smell you and back off. If you pet her, do it for 3 seconds or less and stop. Await the next invitation. Repeat until you have slowly gained the next level of petting trust. Basically, cats get overstimulated or freaked out if physical touching lasts too long. Some cats show tells like flattened ears, moving away slightly, tensed posture, whipping tail, back hair twitching, etc. Other cats are autistic and don't show emotions well. Quit while you're ahead.

>>2470394
I think it's part of a social structure where the cat looks at you to know the water is safe and enjoyable to drink because you're drinking it.
That's why they also want to drink it.
Or it's the: if you have it, so do I mentality of a toddler.
I haven't decided yet..

>>2470394
Your water is fresher, and because you're drinking it, it's obviously special water with some kind of hierarchical significance. You've reaffirmed that to him by trying to not let him have any.

>cat jumps onto desk
>Wants to lay on my lap
>has to headbutt my LCD monitor and push it around first

also

>cat is hungry
>chews on plastic bag
>cat isn't hungry
>chews on plastic bag
>cat sees plastic bag
>chews on plastic bag

YOU'RE NOT EVEN EATING IT ALL YOU'RE DOING IS RUINING IT STOP IT!

>>2470394
>>2478618
>>2478621
>bathroom sink faucet is leaky sometimes
>put a bowl under it to catch the water one day
>cats discovered that bathroom tap water is the best water
>Moment I step out of the shower, there's at least one cat at the door
>they want the water
>Immediately hop from the toilet to the counter and to the sink
>Look annoyed if there isn't water for them right there
>If I refuse to give them water from it (their necks and heads brush against the faucet and then it needs cleaned), they start drinking leftover water in the shower

why

>

>>2478624
Cats just like running water. Probably an instinct that reduces their risk of drinking stagnant, dangerous water. Since they have a low thirst drive, they can afford to be picky. Get one of those cat water fountains that trickle water and put it near their favorite sink as bait. Slowly relocate it to somewhere less annoying to you.

>>2472922
Hahaha!

>>2478627
They also just like alternative water sources (meaning not right next to their food), it's an instinct to avoid predators.

Put a water bowl in your bedroom anon, your cat will like it and they make cute noises when they drink.

>>2478627
Had one before it broke recently. They still thought bathroom water was best water.

>>2478634
Got one that, when he's sleepy, he slowly drinks, then chews the water and starts to sleep while standing there until his nose touches the water

https://youtu.be/2Z2nqrIFM2w

Cats are socialist welfare parasites who contribute nothing to society
Dogs are honest, loyal, hardworking conservatives nationalist patriots with family values
Cat people are cucks to an ungrateful animal
Dog people have a beautiful bond with a true friend that will always have his back and work hard to do his part
Cats come from Africa
The earliest known doglike fossils are from Europe
Go figure

>>2479478

>Animals conform to my idiotic world view that i masterfully cultivated by consuming /pol/ rather than contributing

Neck yourself

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>>2473217
ooohhh my

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>>2466692

>cat 1
>lodges himself somewhere in the house we can't find
>meows til you go get him out

>cat 2
>cant have even a spec of dust in his water
>throws the whole dish of there's anything hair or dirt in it.

>cat 3
>whines and comes up to you to be petted
>hand gets close
>runs away at 100mph.
Everytime.

>All 3
>hit me up for pets as soon as I wake up
>only two hands

>Petting my kitty
>Start petting a spot she's not always into having pet
>Nips my hand
>She's had enough
>K, message received, removing han-
>She pulls it back with her paws
>Nips again
>I try to get my hand back 2 or three more times before she let's it go

She hardly ever does it, but it happens once in a blue moon.
I muse that sometimes she just gets overstimulated, and if I happen to pet her at that moment she's gets more stimulated and gets excited.

She'll always lick my hand after she puts her teeth on it though, so.

>>2479478
If you measure someone's value by how, "useful" they are, you're...probably not fun a parties, my friend.

>>2478618
>>2478621

They trust us so much. ;_;

Not an annoyance, but this cracks me up:

>There is my cat
>There is a bug
>Cat plays with bug
>Plays by pawing at bug
>Bug eventually ded
>Cat looks at former bug
>Looks at me
>Looks at bug
>Sits back and stares at bug
>"wtf I broke it :( "

Cat 1:
>Will walk up and just stare at you until you guess what it is he wants - no urging, no "cone follow me" action to lead you where he wants you to go, just a slightly hurt stare because you are incapable of reading his mind
>has to stare at the inside of the fridge every time the door is open. Not to try to eat stuff, not to go into the little small room that always has the door closed, just to look in it for a bit.
>fucks his daughter, or at least rubs his dick on her side, because he's not entirely sure how it works despite being successful that one time.
>scratches the side of the litter box after shitting, turns around, sees that the shit is not covered, tries again. Does this no matter what size box we use. Will scratch on the ceiling of boxes with lids.
>yowls horrifically loudly 3-5 times at night, at around 3am, then stops and does not continue

Cat2:
>If I enter a room she happens to bw in, will yell at me until I spend at least a full minute scratching the sides of her face. Purrs like a maniac and drools when I do so.
>if you dont scratch both sides of her face at once, she twists her head downwards to the ground, but on the side you're scratching, making the actual movement awkward and difficult to accomplish. Switching sides causes her to switch sides as well.
>will come into the bathroom while you shit and demand pets, by flopping head and front paws over the side if the tub - "here is my back. Pet me."
>is fascinated by cat1's ears and will spend 10-15 minutes licking him if he lets her. He usually doesn't, because...
>kneads at cat1's neck when they cuddle together, but is a retard so she ends up basically just jamming her paw right into the middle of cat1's throat over and over.

Both:
>utterly fascinated by the Other Cats that live in the shiny rectangle and do whatever they do
>apparently drink water, though I have literally never seen either of them do so

>>2480070
>scratches the side of the litter box after shitting, turns around, sees that the shit is not covered, tries again. Does this no matter what size box we use.
drives me crazy

>>2479478
>>its a /pol/ calls cats black people episode
Consider incinerating your computer, my man.

>>2476444
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AnpJBI_502U
>Australian murder robots are real
I hope these become commercially available around the world. Fuck all the cats constantly running around my neighborhood shitting everywhere and killing everythinf

>>2478003
Get it fucking treated, it's like $15 a month

>>2467247
Are you PLAYING with the cat enough?

It's like a lot of dogs, many cats require you tire them out and satisfy their urges to hunt.

>>2478003

I hate cats but he is pretty badass

>>2466692
>at mealtime, cat ravenously devours wet food
>cat loves it juicy, started putting a little extra water in the food bowl, which makes him love it even more, always slurping up food-juice first thing.
>no matter what juiciness level food was, cat intentionally spits last mouthful out into water bowl beside food bowl to signify end of meal.
>cat is not saving regurgitated water bowl food for later, has effectively contaminated water for himself and will not touch it until water bowl is cleaned and refreshed.
>have to clean faggot cat's water bowl a lot