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Hey guys, Just to let you know, cassowaries are actually really

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Thread replies: 32
Thread images: 7

File: cassowary.jpg (163KB, 595x660px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
cassowary.jpg
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Hey guys,
Just to let you know, cassowaries are actually really nice, and you should definitely hang out with them and let us into your home.
Thanks for listening
>>
>>1998807
Thst thing looks like it would ransack a house.
>>
File: OP.png (28KB, 709x548px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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wonder whos behind this
>>
https://youtu.be/WGQKqLWpwhw
>>
GOOD LUCK I'M LIKE THREE CONTINENTS AWAY FUCKER
MAYBE IF YOU TRIED FLYING
OH WAIT
>>
>>1998996
ouch
>>
>>1998807
Isn't that the thing from UP! ?
>>
>>1998807
As an Australian who was been face to face with one of these cunts I say, go fuck yourself. When I was little I remember going to the zoo and getting one of those little feed bags for giving to the animals so they love you and when I got around to Sir Cassowary Von Fuckface, the asshole took the whole bag. That ruined my whole day. I was saving some for the koalas and that jerk took it all and I got no koala cuddles because they wanted people who had food. :'( Fuck you and fuck your land whale of a bird.
>>
Yeah because I want a killer bird in my house
definitely want that!
>>
>>1998807
>cassowary
there's a cartoon about these killing machines

word on the street is they can cut you open like a water balloon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z3iLhINflg
>>
>>1999443
you're thinking of emu. I can't believe a zoo would have a feedable cassowary.
>>
>>1998807
fuck off dinosaur

>>>/bird/
>>
>>1998807
I don't live in Australia or New Guinea though. If i did I definitely would. I love you cassowary. I'll give you berries and shit and you can kick out the intestines of all the people I hate.
>>
File: image.jpg (137KB, 874x705px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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So are Canadian geese, while we're at it. All geese really want is your friendship. They won't bite you at all.
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File: casowary.jpg (95KB, 680x649px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>1 million hours in mspaint
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>>2001264
When I was a kid, my grandfather told me to just be big and yell at the geese when they came close. That just pissed them off and made them attack me. Their bites hurt.
>>
>>2001298
>letting yourself get bit by a goose
I was doing service work at an office complex once. A few of the receptionists warned me about this goose that attacks people when they used a certain door. The same door I was called in to work on.
I carry my tools over, find the problem, start adjusting it. This fucking Canada goose explodes out of the landscaping, runs at me with wings outstretched and hissing. I held my ground, then kicked the son of a bitch as hard as I could, sending this satanic sack of feathers flying back from the direction it came. It landed in the bushes, still alive.
A coworker went to this same complex months later to bid some work. The goose is still there, but according to the secretary, will not fuck with anybody now.
And that's how I became the ruthless Canada goose punter that I am today.
>>
>>2001321
I did the very same thing once.
> big ass bird middle of pond.
>Sees me and runs/fly over water to get at me.
>I go to the edge where it has to get up the bank and then I clock it a good one.
>Never bothered me again.
>>
>>2000086
Actually it's a fish
>>
>>2001321
>>2001417
I don't understand how an able-bodied adult human could be scared of a goose, but apparently there exist people who are. Geese possess no real means of hurting a person and are vulnerable to just about every type of punishment imaginable. I have no respect for a person who's afraid of a goose.
>>
>>2001755
You know why they almost went extinct? Even without weapons, they're ready to hunt. If the law man ain't looking and you're feeling peckish, walk up to the nearest flock of geese, pick a nice fat one, grab it by the neck and give the whole goose a good twirl.
Snaps the neck and, if you're quick, there's hardly a struggle at all.
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>>2001758
*easy. Fuck phone posting
>>
>>1999498
Why WOULDN'T you??
>>
Upon encountering one in the wild, most people try to remain still. Maybe they hope it does not see, after all it is a stupid bird, but you are wrong. While you are focused on the front, another attacks you from the side, then another from the right. That is when you realized, they were hunting.,.for you.
While you cover tour face in despair and try to get yourself up, you start to realize something. Your entrails are flooding the ground.
The point being, you are still alive when they start to gut you from the inside out.

And the wrost of all. They do it for sport. Because meat is something they do not even eat.

That thing, is not a bird. It is a pre historic monster,
>>
>>1998993
What the fuck did I just watch
>>
>>1998807
Nice try. Everyone knows cassowaries are huge cunts that are only halfway evolved into birds from gang-rapist dinosaurs. Fuck you.
>>
>>1998993
That's hilarious.
>>
File: CassowaryChick.jpg (35KB, 448x336px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
CassowaryChick.jpg
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>>2003107

Cassowaries are loveable scamps that you should invite into your home.
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>>2003114
This.
Seriously just give us - I mean - them a chane.
>>
fun fax: it was too costly and difficult to effectively make an artificial raptor hatching from an egg in Jurassic Park so they just substituted a real cassowary egg/hatchling for the evil deadly raptor and nobody could tell the difference.

Also, that scene in Alien? Cassowary.

tl;dr: kill it with fire with extreme prejudice
>>
The one documented human death was caused by a cassowary on 6 April 1926. 16-year-old Phillip McClean and his brother, aged 13, came across a cassowary on their property and decided to try to kill it by striking it with clubs. The bird kicked the younger boy, who fell and ran away as his older brother struck the bird. The older McClean then tripped and fell to the ground. While he was on the ground the cassowary kicked him in the neck, opening a 1.25 cm (0.49 in) wound which may have severed his jugular vein. The boy died of his injuries shortly afterwards.
>>
Cassowaries are fun for the whole family. Invite a cassowary over to your house to hang out.
Thread posts: 32
Thread images: 7


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