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Its not you, Its me.

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Thread replies: 15
Thread images: 1

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>be me, 23 dating a girl for 8mo
>Love this girl, but she works insane hours
>In bed by 5pm, up at 1, home at 11
>It's crazy trying to line up our days off, but I use saved PTO and call in sick just to see her whenever she's available
>Make plans on blessed weekend off both of us had off, come to my place Sunday afternoon, go out, come back, sleep, spend the next day together

Cont
>>
>>18603200

>Hour before shes expected she texts me saying she outside and needs to talk to me, just get in the car
>Shook, fearing maybe a pregnancy scare or death in the family, I get in the car and ask what's wrong
>As she drives around town she explains that we need to take some time off
>She works too many hours, doesn't see her family, friends, or me enough and it's not fair to anyone
>I make her park and actually talk to me eye to eye and she's goes to tears and talks about the same things and getting visibly worked up

>Thinking everything was fine hours before, that I'd get to spend a weekend with the woman I love, I was blindsided
>Full deer in the headlights wide eyes I told her I didn't know where this was coming from and ask what I did
>She aknowledges the cornyness of thread title as she says it over and over
>Says she wants to leave the state, have a career and so on

Cont
>>
>>18603204

>I'm still so shocked at this point I grab her hand and ask why this was so sudden
>She wiggles out of it, crying now, and says she's had this planned for a week
>She's been texting normal and saying she loves me too all week
>I ask what I did wrong, telling her I was happy and in love
>She says she was too and I become speechless for the rest of her reiterating her points and apologizing


>When she's done and tries to start the card and drive off again, assumedly to drop me off at home, I stop her and get out.
>After a few deep breaths outside the car I climb back in, kiss her, ask her to text me and then start walking off
>I watch her drive away from the street corner and stumble to a friend's place to start drinking

Cont
>>
>>18603226

>That night while drinking with very supportive friends I make my first mistake
>I text her mom, whom I'm on good terms with telling her what gf did and that it was sudden and I didn't understand. I ask her to just make sure he's alright.
>She says she talked to gf and says she doesn't get wtf is going on either after gf explained it, and assured me to give it a week

>The next morning after festering in my own tears I myself was surprised by, being a 4chan poster, I make my second mistake
> "I don't understand" I thought was the best quickest way to get my point across
>She disagreed and asked if we could not talk for a few days.
>I go to pieces all over again, where the day before I was quiet shocked and mopey, this day I cry and get baby treatment from a revolving door or relative
>The next day, day 3, I go back to work looking like shit, get more sympathetic special treatment
>I cry off and on all day, but the crew were nice enough to give me manual labor out of public eye out back
>I get home and mope myself to sleep again

Cont
>>
>>18603257

>Today is day 4, I haven't messaged her since mistake 2 on day 2
>I'm processing some bad feels, my first real brush with heartbreak
>I know it might not be the same but I want her back
>Hurt that she wanted to be able to start her life somewhere and didn't see me in it, but she never asked if I would go wherever, but I would have.
>I've moved around before and do well wherever
>Getting pretty annoyed at the constant stream of pep talks, and it's getting harder not to send texts

This is where you come in /adv/. I love this girl and want her to realize that I want to support her. I just wish she would communicate with me so I can help.

My plan is to try and hold out to the weekend (3 days) when I know we both have a day off before I text again, but I don't know what I'm supposed to say, I knew so little about why we're apart to begin with

Please give me whatever wisdom you have on the situation, I'll appreciate someone to talk to. I'll be following this thread and replying to any additional questions, I'm sure this doesn't read well
>>
>>18603291
>My plan is to try and hold out to the weekend (3 days) when I know we both have a day off before I text again
Don't text her again. Be prepared to never speak to her again. Consider the relationship over. Maybe she's having a quarter-life crisis, maybe she met someone else out of state online who she's interested in, it doesn't matter what's going on with her, right now you need to focus only on yourself. She obviously does not see a future with you right now and being needy and bending over backwards trying to prove to her how much of a good doormat you would be is not going to make you more attractive. This is your only chance at getting her back, if that is what you still want if/when she talks to you again. I know it's rough, but you can't force someone to want you. It's out of your hands.
>>
>She works too many hours, doesn't see her family, friends, or me enough and it's not fair to anyone
>Says she wants to leave the state, have a career and so on

Its clear that she is overworked, doesnt have enough time for herself and wants to take a break. She needs a change in her lifestyle... Try talking with her about alternatives, she doesnt necesaraly need to move to another state? cant she just move to another city and get job there? with less working hours...
She could also use her vacation days to take off for like a week - rest in the mean time and look for job offers. What she did is too random, like wtf one day she got fed up and that is strange...
Talk about those alternatives, I dont think she has to be that extreme and go to another state...
>>
Awww! OMG, you seem like a really sweet guy, but It definitely seems like she is going threw something and I'm so sorry this is happening. Best of luck to you.
>>
After seeing the thread's title I was ready to tell you that she's getting dicked by another guy, but after reading your story I came to the conclusion that's she probably just overworked right now. If she really cares about you and wants anything to do with you she'll come around.
>>
>>18604188
>>18604255
>>18604301

Thanks for the insight, I hope you're all correct. I just want her to know I could have been there for her had she talked it through
>>
>>18604006

If you're right, is it so wrong to want answers? If there were someone else I think this might be easier.
>>
>>18603200
Hi, I've been in a similar situation to your gf. I was going through a lot, sometimes you just need time to sort your own head out. She probably does love you a lot, she probably wants the relationship but just not right now. Acting like that is only going to make her feel guilty and make this even more stressful to her. Give her the space she needs and she'll come back eventually. Until then don't get so hung up on her.
>>
>>18604393

But is there no way to help? The waiting is the hardest part
>>
>>18604393
I agree with anon but it is easier said then done. However, your grief will pass eventually just try not to dwell on it for ever if she doesn't come back and try to keep busy. On another note me personally would think that if you were kinda of showed indifference to me a bit about our breakup I probably be getting be with you.
>>
Bump, going to work.
Thread posts: 15
Thread images: 1


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