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What do I do? I feel like shit non stop. I'm 18, with

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What do I do?

I feel like shit non stop.
I'm 18, with close to no friends and almost no interests.
I am stuck living in a routine.
Everyday after school I come home and play shitty card games like mahjong titans and FreeCell on my computer. They bore the liviing shit out of me but I can't stop. I tried uninstalling them which leads to just installing them back and doing the same stuff over an over.

I have zero hobbies and desu I don't even feel like having any. I'm just bored and get over anything I do(for example playing guitar, I even played in a rock band but I haven't even touched the instrument in 3-4 months).

I'm overweight, no gf even though I have a stab at getting one soon, don't know if I should follow through with it since she's 3 years younger(I'm apparently handsome after making a thread on /fa(which turned into a thread about my mental health for some reason).

I feel like I am too agressive but am afraid to show it. It's like whenever I'm pissed off I want to react but I'm too shy/too much of a pussy to do so.
I'm currently in the school which is directly before university(called Liceum here in Poland) and in my last year but I feel like I haven't made any progress with my education since the beginning of liceum.


Zero friends desu as I said. Waking up is a fucking pain everyday.

I enjoy driving in a car but I get pissed off and fuck it all up as usual.

What's wrong with me?
I have more to add to this but I'll do it after I remember what it was(I decided to make this thread after playing some basketball, by myself of course).

I might also add I've got holidays right now so even more free time to think about my pathetic life.

How do I change these things? Even if I were to start going to the gym or some other shit like that I know it wouldn't help.
I feel like god if he exists just said "fuck him just over from the beginning for shits and giggles"
TL,DR: I'm a sad edgy fag who's straight, help
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Oh, more stuff this time concerning love.


I'd love to get married and have kids but this place and examples in my surroundings have destroyed the women for me. I see most as sluts and whores that should only be used once and thrown away.

How do I overcome this or learn to live life alone without anyone?

If it changes anything, offspring would be something that would drastically change my life for the better I think.

Sorry if some parts are hard to understand. Even though I've lived in England for a long time, living and using my mother language started to hinder and fuck up my English which used to be pretty damn fluent if I may say so
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More, learning this time.

I'm a lazy piece of shit and can't learn to save my life. I don't even know how I managed to pull of my grade ratio so well this year.

I don't know what I want to do in life and that makes me really fucking sad and angry

Literally no school subjects interest me and I don't want to learn a trade since I'd probably be shit at it anyway
>>
>>18601850
Well, I don't know what to do about it, but you should know that you are not the only one...
I'm 19 and still don't know wthat the fuck do I want to do in life. No friends and stuff.
In my class, in Hungary, perhaps the half of the class have some idea of what they want to do.
I used to learn programming for years, but I figured it out recently that it's a so fucking boring and inhuman job though I was pretty good at it.
I'm a lazy piece of shit too, try to write a routine for yourself. It doesn't have to be strict but you should always follow it. It made wonders for me.
About interests... Try to find a job or money making opportunity or at least something that boost your confidence and happiness.
For example if you like gaming, then try streaming on twitch or something.
Just notice the things you like and do some research about them.
For example I always liked reading novels online and now I want to write one myself.
>>
>>18601850
>have little friends
>disappoint dad and had him yell at me all my life
>cry in my bedroom wishing i could be all that my dad made me out to be to his friends
>cry thinking about it
>mom is a slut and verbally abusive to me all my childhood too
>grow up bitter and resentful and constantly wishing for the peaceful release of death
I don't care about having a gf or looking good in public or any of that stuff
I just wanted a good relationship with m parents
>>
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>>18601956
Hi mate, you're country is literally the only one mine could count on.

My general plan was to study boring ass Programming bullshit at a university in Goerlitz in germany not far from where I live. Since that time I realised that Programming is so shit it hurts me to even think of it I think. Maybe I should look more into it but I don't even know anymore.

I don't even know what to start with in my routine, any help?

I had a job actually, for a month. I thought I was doing really well, I used to receive good comments from the boss and so on and july was the best month this year thanks to it(you know, arbeit macht frei and all that). I actually felt good about myself.
Then that nigger fired me. I don't even know why. He said 3 days before firing me I don't work well even though the day before that he said I'm doing great, I was giving everything I had into that job.

That fucked me up desu

I don't know what I like. Gaming doesn't even interest me other than Skyrim. The only game that ever made any impact on me besides The Last of Us(which made me cry like a bitch)
I took up boxing not long ago and my coach says I'm doing really well but I'm scared since my achilles tendon hurts a bit and I'm scared I'll fuck it up badly(I didn't even train since the 1st of august and it still hurts I don't know what to do with it)

Thanks bro
>>
>>18601978

Outside more than less is a shitty place, but sometimes the sun shines and you get good vibes and experience good things. Family is just your first habitat. There's much more.
>>
Go Red Pill or fade away.
>>
>>18601978
I know this really didn't answer your question Op but your life is changeable, my dad and mom will never love me and have always been vicious spiteful people
stop being depressed about not having any hobbies when there is a million of them
vidya games
lifting
sports
wood work
smithing
cooking
jet ski
snowboarding
mountain climbing
hiking
>>
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>>18601978
Wow, Op here and I feel sorry for you.

My huge problem was friends. I lived in England for 6 years and during that time I had no one. Imagine being 7-13 years old and having suicide thoughts daily, that was my life.

All I can say is fuck your parents. There is a threade on adv right now about parents making their 17 year old kid homeless because of false accusations. He won't forgive them. Your parents are essentially just like his in a way, would you forgive them?

Learn to be strong on your own.

I know it's weird coming from a whining little bitch OP but I think what I'm writing is true
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>>18601983
Care to explain? I'm not into all of this stuff even though I've been on this site since I was 14

>>18601986
No worries, hope I can help you as well.

Thanks for the list

I have a question, wouldn't doing things like mountain climbing or hiking alone be shit? I'd feel even worse after doing stuff like that alone, what do you guys think?
>>
>>18602001
being in nature was always soothing for me, getting a pet to go along with is also fun
I love going with my dog
>>
>>18602008
Yeah that's it. Fuck nigger why didn't I think of that. I actually have a German Shepherd she'd love it
>>
>>18601990
thanks bro
I actually thought people were just going to tell me to Fuck off because my problem is pussy shit
and lol my parents at least let me stay in their house
>>
>>18601979
Dude, if you like programming, go for it. It pays a shit ton of money.
I like it, but I feel empty inside when I do nothing just typing and tryto find the typos in x thousand lines.
It's not my style, but it's just me.

Well, my routine looks like for example
6.00 - 6.30 -> running, 7.00-8.00 -> breakfast, 8.00-10.00 -> social stuff, 10.00-11.00 -> random tasks, 11.00-12.00 -> English lesson,
then lunch, nap, learning chinese, workout, chill, dinner, reading/writing novel, gaming/chill
It's not that strict, but it's more than enough to force myself to don't sleep all day.

And yeah, gamimng doesn't interests me eaither and The Last of Us was the only game that made me cry too lol
Gym and sports are good things but don't force it if it hurts bro.
>>
>>18602001
Use google.
>>
>>18602013
just make sure it's a pet friendly trail and she has a leash, wouldn't want doggo to run away into the woods
>>
>>18602014
Nobody will say that here we've all got problems to talk about
>>18602023
OK
>>18602019
The problem is I don't think I like it. I find it boring but maybe I just need to dig into it more

Thanks for the routine

That game was fantastic. I used to be addicted to games but now I find most boring as shit

I think with sports my problem is my weight which hinders my abilities. I'm skinny fat weighing 83 at 183cm and I don't think I should have problems with my tendon at this weight. I should just go to the doctor and check it out I guess
>>
>>18602025
Thanks bro I will
>>
>>18602030
oh OP, I'm the parents guy
Do you have friends now?
I'm kind of a right-wing beta asshole and my jokes are mostly /b/tier but i could be
your friend
>>
>>18602030
Yeah, you find them boring, becouse they are.

Well, I think that's a good ratio. You shouldn't have any problems because of it.
Try weight lifting if it keeps hurting. It boosts your look, confidence, health and it will be easier to find non slutty girls.
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>>18602038
I don't know if I have any. Mostly school acquaintances. I met up with someone I'd call a friend today for sushi and it was fun.

It's a nice offer, thanks. My problem is lack of close friends. That's what I want most of all. I'd sacrifice most of these so called friends for a close friend


>>18602043
Thanks bro, I think if I were to work out I'd look rather good but my anxiety gets in the way of going to the gym

Thanks bro
>>
>>18602048
Same here. Thats why I bought weights and pull up bar. I didn't think much of it first,
but I kept working out for a year now and I look prettydecent now.
Almost every girl look at me like they want something. It helps with my social anxiety by a large degree.

And dont worry, actually just a very few people have those so called close friends I think.
>>
>>18601956
>>18601850
Im 25 and have no idea what i want to do
Dont sweat it kids
>>
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>>18602085
Wow, what do you do?
>>
>>18602085
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
This system is so rotten, like little kids should know what they want to do, when even grown ups don't know.
>>
>>18602092
30yo here, quite a failure. Studying programmation in free time to keep me sane
>>
>>18602105
I feel bad for you dude. Do you study some fun languages at least?
>>
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>>18601850
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>>18601850
.
>>
>>18602110

I am studying more of the math implied in programming. The languages will come after the fundaments. 90% of the time I don't really see the point.

I love running and that is basically the only source of happiness of my life. It is like a healty drug.

Nowadays it is like this: if you lose a step, you have probably fucked up everything. I have lost 10 years in depression, imagine how it is bad for me.

But actually you can learn a lot of yourself and this is something you would not do if you wouldn't lose those steps. Problem is getting back on path, and then showing others that you are still a worthy human being. You are that anyway: your self worth is intrinsic. But you have to show this because relationships nurture some aspect of yourself, and they can land you to a job and to a better life too.

Don't be harsch, it's the time we live in that is almost impossible. But we we'll make it, I promise.
>>
>>18602048
worth a shot
I still have some pussy stuff to get off my chest
I still live with my parents, and my dad was talking to his buddies about going shooting behind our house *we live in the woods* so i thought maybe I could finally find something I could do with my dad
I didn't realise how loud and scarey guns actually are in real life when they are in your hands
I jerked and missed the target every Fucking time and my dad was furious/disgusted for embarrassing him like that and he whisper screamed "your done" and i went back inside and found this thread while on my phone
that's kinda why I brought up relationships with my parents, I wish my anxiety didn't go into overdrive just a short while ago
I wish I could stop being beta and my dad would actually Fucking hug me for once and i could stop crying like a beta bitch
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>>18602120
>>18602116
What's the point of the second gay ass photo I'd find being shared by a single mom ?
>>
>>18602130
Bro, your dad sounds like someone who neglected you all your life and was absent and then doesn't know why you've got problems.

How old are you?

OP btw
>>18602127
Thanks. Op here and not the guy you replied to but the last line is great. Thank you
>>
>>18602136
17
>>
>>18602127
That is so true, my friend.
My depression only took 2 years from me, 10 years must have been hell.
I hope we all will find our path in life.

Cheers
>>
>>18602136
and he wasn't absent, he has attended all my things/concerts everything
it's just he was never proud
and my mom comes home and fries about how her life sucks and i see her flaunt her body in her mirror to see if she is still hot and then she texts random guys on her phone and won't let dad see her phone and he screams at me and takes it out on me
and when I try to get her out of her bedroom she goes ballistic
>>
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>>18602147
Op here. I'd say I realised there's something wrong with me at about 13 years of age. 5 I guess not counting the shit that happened in England
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>>18602153
Maybe he was raised that way?

You'll be okay I'm sure of it. We'll all make it.
>>
>>18602153
and they always fight
always have, all my childhood, its not like
it just happened now
I just never noticed how my mom cucked my dad in the relationship until now
end of my vent
>>
>>18602158
thanks dude, but seriously man if you ever need a blow job I'm the guy to call
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>>18602162
Yeah, honestly just get out of there as quickly as you can.

Where are you from?

>>18602167
Thanks I'll remember that, but it turns out I have a girlfriend now.

The girl I talked about in the OP, 3 years difference, maybe too much but we'll see. Innocent and I don't think I've ever seen a sweeter girl.

I have a problem, what do I do if a girl doesn't have that what I want? I'm talking about ass. My only problem. She's so petite I don't know what to do with that. Like I said she's 15(legal here) so she'll still develop, right?
>>
>>18602155
now to fix your shit Op instead of venting mine, don't stay in dark rooms long, turn this lights on, it actually works because your body goes into a depressive state in the dark
working out will definitely help but not everything
work on being social with ugly fuckers, and then move up to more attractive and then so on until you get to the point on the social ladder you want, don't strive for Chad because it won't happen
>>
>>18602185
murica and my town really does have a obesity problem before you shitpost me to oblivion, I already know
>>
>>18602185
yeah but 15 are pretty much when her hormones are full blown so it should happen quick the next few years, if not then bail
>>
>>18602155
Yeah, a lot of people have depression in their teens, especially in Europe.
Mine started at the age of 15.
I didn't care becouse it is quite common in Hungary, but then I wanted to suicide and figured out that something is off.
It started with social anxiety and it turned into an existential crisis. Shit happens.

>>18602185
Just be very polite and sweet with her and you will see the signs if she is into it.
>>
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>>18602188
Thanks I will.
>>18602190
Good luck bro
>>18602192
Ok, thanks

>>18602196
People that went through the same shit we're going through have built great Polish and Hungarian empires, right?
We'll be ok


Oh she is into it. The only problem is my fucking weird fetishes.


I still have a problem. What to do with life. How do I learn? Maths especially, I have huge problems with it and I need to learn it.
No idea what to do with my future in terms of work
>>
>>18602215
Sure thing, dude.

Everyone has fetishes, it's not a big deal

Well, you can learn a lot faster if you solve math problems online or from your book,
than trying to learn just the theory. It's easyer to memorize. I don't have other methods sadly.

Keep your head up, brother
Good night
>>
>>18602215

from the basics.
>>
You should go help people and fight against the Alt-right. Direct your aggression at them.

It help, just doesn't buy their bs.
>>
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>>18602270
I'm am right wing and I shit on liberals tho. Of course not extreme but more right I'd say

>>18602259
>>18602238
Thanks
>>
>>18602305
so i am thinking about getting into programming for money
I already have a bunch of hobbies that make me happy so i know i will feel good in my free time
how do I get in the job?
>>
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>>18602355
Well, you go to university, get a degree and during your studies you work small jobs in local IT brands to get some money and experience.

That's what my ex-IT teacher did(he's 25, finished IT in Goerlitz in Germany and earns a shit ton of money)
The only thing is you have to like it. I don't think I do. Working for 40 or so years not doing what you like would be worse than death for me.

OP here, btw
>>
>>18602371
well give me your job then and I'll give you a cock to suck nutrients from while you are homeless
>>
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>>18602405
ok cool fuck off fagstain
>>
>>18602405

not op, I'm the 30yo with depression studying IT on his own.

Try following a diet full of B12 vitamin, so your brain will work at non brainlet rate and you'll stop writing these ill and awkward comments on a thread meant for asking advice. Those are the nutrients you actually need.
>>
>>18602430
>B12 vitamin
>those are nutrients
>THOSE

Either you fail at counting or you're a schizophrenic.
>>
>>18602430
fuck you bitch you don't even know how to wire a toaster
>>
>>18602449

Either I am ignorant like you, or I am not a native english speaker. Of course it's the latter. Nice thing you didn't realize! A little boost for my self esteem.

>>18602450

Do it by yourself, you are a grown up by now
>>
>18
>stable job with min wage
>graduated with honors
>work out everyday
>7/10 decent muscle
>have a motorcycle instead of car because parents didnt used it and I preffer a bike from a car
>Co-workers flirts with me
>study other stuff at night

sounds nice?

>canĀ“t fucking sleep propperly
>got planted 4 times this year
>thinking about going back for a relationship with my stepaunt
>friends too busy with college to hang out

why I feel like shit after acomplished so much?
>>
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>>18602773
No idea bro, we'll get to what's troubling you
>>
>>18601850
Just call it high school, jeez.
If you're from Warsaw we can go grab a beer and maybe I'll give you some advice, I dunno. I can invite you to a group on fb which is full of nice people too, if you want, people from there go to group meet-ups quite a bit (and they're from various cities).
I had no friends or barely any friends around your age too, now I have too many
>>
>>18602773

Becouse you are human and accomplishments are something that make you feel shit when you haven't any of them. But don't make you feel good as soon as you have them. They are a sort of minimal condition for self-realization.
>>
>>18602270

So the left is copying evangelism now and approaches lost people in prder to prosyletize them into useful idiots. And then you pretend you're nothing like religious fanatics. Thanks for reminding me what gave birth to the alt-right.
>>
>>18604557
Op here, I wrote to him I'm not interested in that leftist bullshit
>>
>>18604597

I saw, I just wanted to vent. I'm from a socialist dictatorship. State terrorism, nepotism, scandals, the whole deal. Anyway.

>Literally no school subjects interest me and I don't want to learn a trade since I'd probably be shit at it anyway

Jobs are means to an end. You work to make money. Doing what you're passionate about is mostly a fairy tale and people are all the more sad when they realize. Various people went to drawfag college and became freelance artists because they were passionate about drawing only to find that jobs are rare and pay less per hour than minimum wage.
Perhaps you're like me and have a fear of commitment to a path. I was afraid of choosing a path because I was afraid I'd make the wrong choice. I was so insecure that I didn't even alocate my skill points in rpgs. Eventually I ended up making no choice and found myself old and skillless. Listen, something is better than nothing.

>I see most as sluts and whores that should only be used once and thrown away.

Yeah that happens because we're raised to think chicks are like us and we're disappointed when they fail our values. We put them in pedestrals. If we instead regarded them as the barely-sentient meat that makes noise and can spawn babies that they are then we wouldn't be disappointed by the thotness. Go read the Book of Pook.

>What's wrong with me?

You're trapped in a stagnant routine where what you need is to get out of your comfort zone. Many people are like this and it usually takes an event outside their control such as a fucking tragedy to change. Try new stuff (that doesn't involve knowingly destructive behaviour such as substances). Go to places where people won't see you again and chat them up. Tell a joke, ask them how their day is. If a chick is pretty and is going somewhere then ask "can I come?" . Of course it's gonna be awkward and painful as fuck at first.
>>
>>18604717
fag
>>
>>18604724

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nk2wViKSh_M
>>
>>18601877
You got a graphic for the anti-weak man?
>>
>>18604557
>reactionary poltical beliefs
Shut up dude. The only things that breeds political extremism is delusion and lack of unbiased education
>>
Damn you niggas are depressing. I'm 27, I have a job that's not the best but who cares? I still don't know what I want to do when I'm older. I go through hobbies like I change my underwear. I own a house, love to cook and exercise etc. Just chill out, relax a little. Don't take life too seriously.
>>
>>18604788

The way you opened up by telling me to shut up really drives the point that you aren't at all a closet fascist looking to stiffle other opinions.

>The only things that breeds political extremism is delusion and lack of unbiased education

Incorrect. Political beliefs are a matter of of worldview. The more extreme a person's worldview is, the more extreme their political beliefs.
>>
>>18604783
Nope mate , sorry
>>18604717

Where are you from bro?

Thanks for everything you've written , it helps

>>18604789
Yeah, you're 27, have a house and seem to have it all together.
That's what I want
>>
>>18604973
Just relax then. It'll come when it's your time. Just focus on having fun, finding things that interest you and follow those things, OP. You'll be fine.
>>
>>18604973

If that's the case then here's some more help. I'd write more but I'm barely staying awake right now.

>Perspective

Perspective is a very big part of dealing with life. Ever heard of panic attacks? Your fight or flight instict goes berserk over an actual or imagined reason. You feel you can't counter or run away from that reason. This panics your subconscious further, repeating the feeling but stronger until you panic to your maximum capacity, break down in tears and are left depressed and catatonic for days or weeks at a time. I used to be unable to sleep at night because I'd wake up in sheer existential terror. People suffering from chronic panic attacks live in constant fear of the next one and so did I. It's very demoralizing to think that you'll never be cured of that thing. It's brain issue, a monster that you take everywhere with you until the day you die. I was disheartened too until the day it dawned on me that fighting a(n inner) daemon until the end of (your) time is metal as fuck.
Adversity is daunting unless you think of it differently, like proof of your mettle or an experience that will make you tougher or something.

>Judgement

Imagine being so afraid of death that you want to kill yourself to end it all. This is what panic attacks boil down to. Any outside observer can see that it's illogical. Utter fucking madness. The brain is a machine and extreme stuff such as anxiety, depression and depersonalization are symptoms of it having issues. Your perspective is warped when you're under their influence and you can't trust your judgement. That's when you need friends to judge for you. If you don't have friends then you need to use your times of clarity to plan your course of action and then stick to the plan no matter how badly fucked in the head you're later on.
>>
>>18605607

>Jealousy

Jealousy can be good when you don't know what you want. The thing that makes you feel jealous? That's what you want. It can be a thing, a situation, a talent or a trait. Your goal is to get a thing like that for yourself or become like the person you're jealous of. Jealousy is bad when you're trying to tear the other person down instead of becoming better yourself.
>>
So i have been on vacation to other country where i hanged out with my sister and her cousin who was also on vacation there (me n cousin are not related in anyway). We hanged out for a few days and me n her cousin rly liked each other, we constantly talked to each other, cuddled i even kissed her neck but couldnt get her alone for a real kiss. Today i came back home, i miss her so much, im so sad i didnt kiss her and im pretty sure i fel in love with her. What do i do, should i text her about my feelings, do i just cry myself to sleep im really desperate.. Im even thinking about going back just to see her one more time but i dont want to make fool of myself..
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