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I abused my ex girlfriend

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Met this girl through work last year, she and her bf broke up and we started hanging out. She told me how he'd been abusive to her, forced her to go on birth control, always wanted her to act certain ways, etc. I had initial attraciton to her before she started dating this guy and so I found it easy to fall for her and be protective.

We were together for about half a year and then she cheated on me with some bodybuilding tat'd up guy at a bar. I found out and we had a huge fight about it obviously and I felt digusted by her. She quickly broke up with me before I could end things with her.

I was upset obviously with the double whammy but forgave it and started to move on with my life. But then I started to abuse her or had, according to mutual acquaintances. Except...I didn't. I always judged her, talked down to he, ignored her, belittled her, etc. And the kicker? I'd even tried to rape her. She'd told me how she had a very deep secret to tell me once near the begining of our relationship, I'd asked her what it was and she told me that she'd been raped. I immediately felt bad and very protective of her(her plan) and gave her lots of my time. Later her friend got drunk and I subtly asked about this and she told me that she'd just been seeing this guy and they both decided to share him one night, but she felt jealous after and called it a rape.

It shouldn't matter, I should be happy and thanking heaven that this psycho is out of my life. But I am dealing with reputation anxiety now. My community knows me well enough and everyone is calling her a professional victim and a liar. So it's fine right? Not really, we're in a small town and I'm black; everyone else is white. I don't expect to get lynched or anything, but I feel very uncomfortable and mentally I realize that she's probably telling her new guy the same stuff she told me about her other ex. And it hurts like hell. Has anyone else dealt with being played like this before or have their image smeared as such?
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Small tight groups can be very dangerous. Be careful with that.

I have always preferred the anonymity of a big city, where you can forget bad experiences.
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>>18601727
>Not really, we're in a small town and I'm black
I hope you realize that everyone who posts in this thread will denigrate you. Had they thought you were a white male, they would all be on your side and try to help you.
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>>18601911
Disagree, I will not denigrate this man. Only faggots with problems with blacks will do it. I WILL however say that he made a mistake getting with a white woman in a small town, albeit not a huge one, unless she's gonna go to the police, which I doubt she will do.

Whether spoken about or not, there is a certain unconscious racism of all peoples, especially in a small town. A black man raping a white woman would be par for the course with these people. I live in a small town and the one half black, not even full black kid, here got in trouble for raping a girl, which he actually did. Now this isn't to say black people are rapists or whatever, I'm just saying that these people won't be surprised if you're a rapist, because of their mentality. That being said, if you're a nice enough dude, have people to back you up, I'm sure you'll be fine. I've been accused of molesting a girl, only to her bf at the time though, when it was completely consensual. I'm sure my ex is also telling people I tried to rape her, since she is a notorious liar, hates me, still talks about me, and wants her friends sympathy (some of which I'm mutual friends with).

This gets to a larger part of the human experience, transcending race (lol but for real); if this ruins your reputation with people, fuck em. As long as you aren't in trouble, fuck em. If they believe the first story they heard about you, and didn't ask for your word on it? Fuck em. They weren't willing to hear you out, so it's fuck em forever.
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>>18601920
Thank you for the glimmer of insight anon. The pain does come from many angles, and the most acute one is definitely the close group of people that we shared;taking her word for things without even asking me. Thankfully I have two great friends and the people here treat me well because I work hard; so nothing has come to disturbing actions taking place. It's just the ache in my heart of what could have been and I guess...a "why?". "Why would she behave like that?" Clearly I am not the first, nor the last and there's something very wrong with her to tear down ex's after breakups to the point of slander.
>>18601904
Unfortunately the downside of bigger cities is the same reason why they're good as you put it. Everyone can remake themselves, present themselves in a new light. Often yo do not know much about the person until you're already in it and it becomes a hard ride.
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>>18601727
Fuck that bitch bro. I had my fair share of toxic relationships. whenever someone tells me that they have a deep secret of the start of our leadership always give them a red flag. It is like why are you telling me this when I just known them for two days? Do they want to hug or something or for me to feel sympathy for them? I mean I didn't feel bad for them but I don't go around telling people my darkest secrets when I know them for two days.
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>>18602217
Yeah, I guess I only realized that after the fact. My first relationship really and she gunned for me for a while and I always sides stepped her. Then one night she confided that to me and it just kind of went from there. She played a good game and knew how to manipulate me, lol. I'm actually impressed.
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