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>losing the few """friends"""

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>losing the few """friends""" i thought I had

how do you deal with these feelings

I'm not even asocial, I get along with people, but this summer I've just not been doing much else except for work/gym and occassionally grabbing a beer with these """friends""", but now I seem to be losing them too. or they just never gave a fuck in the first place, fuck. suddenly they're doing shit w/o bothering to tell me or they straight up lie when asked
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>>18601618
I'm in a similar situation. I truly think they never gave a fuck in the first place.
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>>18601621
ugh
I don't even know how to feel about this
Angry? Sad? Relieved? Confused? feeling a bit of everything it seems.

it doesn't help that other shit isn't going well in my life as well. I'm trying not to let this crap get to me and start pitying my fucking life but man does it get hard at times
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>>18601631
I'm sad about it but it's also brought me to the harsh realization that everything and everyone in life is temporary and I shouldn't rely on anyone for anything.
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this happened a couple of days ago

this guy was talking to me about plans to hang out and call old friends to get together again and just enjoy ourselves and shit but when the actual night came I wrote him and called but he didn't reply until the next morning saying

>"dude what an amazing night you're dumb to not have come, shame"

what the fuck is this.
facebook said he was active at multiple times during the night but i think he must've avoided opening my message

t b h i think he was trying to hook up w/ a mutual friend and since she was sorta into me at times he just wanted me to fuck off. I don't know.
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I wish I could help you, but I'm also dealing with the fact that most people want nothing to do with me too. Feels bad man. I mean, I try to be friendly, but no one wants to be around me after a certain point. I've thought of asking one of my most recent cases why she distances herself from me so hard, but I'm not sure. Though I really need to start finding out before it gets out of hand.
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>>18601618

I used to share your problem, you just have to become a better judge of character, the vast majority of people are selfish two-faced degenerates who care nothing about loyalty or honesty. You get better as it if you start picking apart and questioning their actions internally, just think about what they lose and gain from speaking their mind or doing you a favor. Friends will never ask for payment and will never lie unless it's to protect you, if it protects them, they are not your friend.
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>>18601672
The shitty part about my situation is that the person in question gave their number -never answered, called twice-, and told me that we could chat on facebook -never replies. Granted, I did express that I felt something for her, but she rejected me and I understood. I didn't break down or anything. She said that she still wanted to be friends, but very apparently does not. Now she acts all flaky around me, sometimes giving me attention and sometimes acting like I don't exist. I tried on multiple occasions to get her to tell me to leave her alone, but she wouldn't. Now almost all my other co-workers act weird towards me, except for one guy. And now I realize that I should probably just make my own thread. fml
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she feels weird about you because you confessed feelings and in her amazing womanly mind that's a sign of your stupidity because you hardly know each other at all
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>>18601783
>>18601775
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>>18601618
Feeling you here anon
I had something similar where I just decided to stop messaging and calling my friends as it seemed it was always me initiating the contact, and then I didn't here anything from them again
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>>18601783
Honestly, you're probably right. But I assured her that I wasn't trying to chase after her anymore, and that I just wanted to be friends. We're in the same industry, so I figured that it would be dumb to sacrifice a possible contact just for my stupid feels. But I probably just scared her off.
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Go ghost for a while. Your real friends will check up on you. Best tactic I've ever given myself.
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>>18601618
You might just be depressed and unable to accept that these friends aren't willing to commit to you and end your isolation, which is an understandable feeling. The truth is though that people aren't "fake friends," unless they completely reject you or betray you. Nobody owes you anything, so you're going to have to solve this damned social isolation by yourself, or maybe with the help of some kind of counseling/advisement.
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>>18601894
Not OP but This is a great tactic anon, brutal because alot of people may not but you know the ones who do give a shit
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>>18601905
I understand what you're tallking about but I'm far from a depressed shut-in who broods all day and brings people down

>>18601894
there's nobody else anymore

>>18601683
sounds like good advice, thanks man
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>>18601912
Of course. I didn't suggest that you brood all day or bring people down. Maybe you don't want to accept what I said in that post. Try considering it as a perspective that is meant to be helpful to you, and not an accusation that you're some kind of unpleasant person. You're upset because you feel rejected, and like these people owe you something. Maybe someone in your past really did owe you something, and never gave it to you. Personally, I was optimistic about people, until my parents and my exes disregarded me. Now I approach every new friend with the expectation that they're going to abandon me. I'm projecting some of my experience on to you here, but your problem sounds pretty universal and similar.

Also know that bringing people down is not a crime. We shun negative emotions in this society, and it's not really productive or fair. It just gets people into dysfunctional or functionally addicted states, and probably hurts our society overall.
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>>18601927
thanks anon

your words did make something move in my thinking but I'm not sure enough yet to put it into words

it's tough to accept that people don't owe you shit

you're right in that I feel like my parents never really taught me how to be a well functioning person and if it hadn't been for the internet and other people I've met, I'd still be an unkept quiet kid with oily hair too scared to express himself
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>>18601655
fuck that girl asap
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>>18601970
Try not to think of yourself as an unfortunate or something. The biggest unfortunates are those who aren't very willing or able to improve themselves. Some people never learned to make friends. Others never learned to stick up for themselves, or to handle money, or to succeed at school and work. A perfect person just wouldn't have any problems, but of course we all have flaws that need some ironing out over time.

Image yourself from the third-person, as someone who is having trouble making friends, mostly for the fact that other people are busy and already have a decent amount of friends. It's an unfortunate situation to be in, but of course there's that tired saying, "Life isn't fair." This problem is yours for you to solve.

Maybe it's hard to grapple with the fact that the world around you is the problem, and yet you are the one who needs to change and improve. If most people are going to have this, "What does he do for me?" attitude towards you, is there anything you can do about that? Personally, I found some people who are truly good, selfless friends, but I still have to sort of 'do business' with everyone else, in order to get what I need in life.
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>>18601783
Please tell me how do I go about making her not feel weird around me? I've tried giving her space, but she still is hot and cold to me.
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>>18602065
there's only one right move atm for you and that's to cut your losses and stop contacting her all together.

find new girls to pursue

anything else is digging yourself a deeper hole
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