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>be me, an autistic femanon >meet a guy online >become

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Thread replies: 35
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>be me, an autistic femanon
>meet a guy online
>become friends
>hopelessly fall in love with him

It wasn't a part of my plan. It's the only guy that makes me feel so safe and I clicked with him better than with anyone else. I'm going on dates with other dudes and think about him. I study and when my thoughts get fuzzy, I think about him. I think about him a lot despite being busy and occupied with other people. It's been going on for months and I tried to cut the contact but it didn't work out because I'm weak-willed and because I want him. So the question is I guess how to get closer with him. I'm clueless when it comes to e-dating so pls help.
>>
does he like you too? are you able to tell?
>>
>>18600108
I can't tell. He is a bit of an aspie himself and sometimes things feel distant and awkward between us. On the other hand he enjoys our banter and likes me enough to discuss personal matters.
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>>18600116
does he know you like him?
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>>18600121
I never told him, but he is a smart guy so maybe he knows if I somehow left some clues.
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>>18600130
tell him you big ole dummy, he'll probably be thrilled
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>>18600132
>he'll probably be thrilled
I'm no catch, 3/10 maybe. He is 7/10 at least. So no, him being thrilled is not likely. And telling him just like that - wouldn't it come off creepy?
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>>18600138
if you really think just straight up telling him is creepy then you can try being slightly more flirty with him first and step it up little by little if/when he responds positively until you feel confident enough to tell him directly. But you probably should just tell him desu
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>>18600130
some guys are bretty gud at picking up on "hints" but that sort of intuitive understanding is more of a girl thing really. anything you want him to know (or think he should already know, and discovering he doesn't would result in buttmad), tell him directly what that thing is.

things are going well between you two, yeah? any reason not to simply stay the course and continue doing what you've been doing? let it develop further and such?
>>
>>18600138

how 3/10 is 3/10
>>
>>18600095
I think it's ill-advised to decide you're in love with someone you've never met and never spent REAL time with. All you know about him is what you've experienced from your online interaction. Even if someone is not deliberately trying to mislead you about who they are, what you're getting online is a very filtered version of them.

You've never seen the "real" person.

That said, is it realistic that you could meet this person and have a relationship with them that isn't long distance? If it is, I would just bring up the idea of meeting, see how it goes and move on from there.
>>
>>18600095
just show him your dick, he'll understand

>e-dating
???
why dont you just ask him out for a drink? He'll maybe fuck your lardass
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>>18600147
Maybe that would be the best.

>>18600159
It doesn't feel like our friendship is progressing. I don't feel good with myself knowing that I'm already so attached to him and he probably doesn't feel a thing. I want to get something clear, even if it's a rejection.

>>18600182
I'm a stupid, asocial hamplanet with a freaky face.

>>18600183
I'm aware of that but I never managed to control my feelings very well. It's veey stupid to fall in love with someone you know only from online interactions. It never works out. But I did it anyway and the milk is spilled now. It's not realistic for us to meet in person in the nearest future.
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>>18600130
If he's a legit aspie than he would very likely not be able to tell
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>>18600226
He is clever and I don't know how obvious I am
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>>18600095
Are you even sure its a guy or that he is the person he is telling you he is?
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>>18600095

You have a crush.

A crush is where your brain takes incomplete knowledge of a person, fills in the gaps with ideal information, and slaps their face onto the construct. And then gets emotionally attached to it.

A crush is not love. Nor does the construct represent a real person.

In this case, even worse is that the initial template is based off non irl-interaction. Interaction that is necessarily inferior than irl and that human psyched have not evolved to operate with.

Case in point: I have an extremely good online friend/bro that I've had for years. My best friend, really. Talked basically every day for years. Haven't talked to any other human as much.
I traveled 1000 km to go visit him for a couple days. And you know what? It wasn't that great. He was *nothing* like his online persona. Completely different. After a few days, it became clear to me that if we had met irl, we would never have become such good friends. And if we continued irl, the friendship would never be as good.

Tl;dr: You're fixating on a fantasy version of a fantasy version of a person. Actions based on related emotions are not advisable.
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>>18600507
Yeah, I'm sure.

>>18600519
You are partially right but it doesn't change my situation or offer any solution.
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>>18600526

>You are partially right but it doesn't change my situation or offer any solution.

Solution? I thought it was obvious: You ask "how to get closer with him"; I'm saying: don't.
>>
>>18600095

Maybe this will help OP:

http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html
>>
You really should at least get it off your chest. Even if he rejects you you'll at least have some closure about it. It does you no good to just be paralyzed by fear.

(Also where did you two meet?)
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>>18600560
Even if in the majority of cases it never works out, I'm not going to let go of what can be potentially be a good thing. But thank you for your opinion.
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>>18600562
Thank you anon, I'll read it.

>>18600569
We met 4chan.
>>
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>>18600519
Translation:
>I met a guy with a great personality
>I met him irl and he was ugly
>Realize that personality doesn't matter
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>>18600095
I'd rather know why you tried cutting contact. Did you think he's better off without you or is there something about him that makes part of you tell you to stay away from him for your own good?
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>>18601490
This

Women want above average males even if they are below average. They want to date up and will never date down without a catch or a string attached.

Not like this doesn't make sense though. The top 20 percent of men get 80% of women worth dating.
>>
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>>18600519
>This whole post
>>
>>18601502
>is there something about him that makes part of you tell you to stay away from him for your own good?

What a strange question. No, he is a good person and I trust him a lot. It's just how hopeless this situation is. Spending time with him means getting attached, and I assumed that cutting the contact would allow me to move on. I thought that my feelings would dissolve. But they didn't.
>>
>>18600519
Damn. He sure destroyed your fantasy version of a fantasy version of a lover, OP.
That's some fucking Loveception.
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>>18601490
>>18601542

My friend and I are both straight males, you knobs.

The point is that his *personality* was completely different. I don't give a shit about his looks. Why would I?
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>>18601591
Because physical attraction has a role to play in sexual relationships?
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>>18601591
I think that rection >>18601542 was because of your killer comment.
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>>18601591
You're not as straight as you think Shinji kun.
>>
>>18601610

Oh huh. I couldn't tell. Looked like the guy behind could have been fucking the front dude's ass, implying homosex


>>18601615
Ahhhah, touche
>>
Still here op?
Thread posts: 35
Thread images: 4


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