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GIOYC

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Thread replies: 357
Thread images: 26

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Vent, Whine, Brag, etc. Do it in here.
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>>18598909
>be me
>boyfriend gives me hard anal
>feels good af
>by cums as he took out condom there were spots of blood

Should I go to doctor? Also how long should I wait for having hard anal again?
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>>18598936
Your fine
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I can't wait to finish my degree so that I can get a job and leave my selfish bastard of a husband.
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J,

I didn't say it all because I didn't want to make you feel weird and I was already tearing up.

You were one of my best friends. I very very much regret confusing things in our friendship. I was lonely and you were kind, and handsome, and charming. You're stoic and strong and something about that makes me want to give you absolutely anything that you want.

I still think about you all the time. When I'm doing art, or not doing art. Those times where we sat in the quiet mornings and drew really did get me out of bed in the morning, and I liked to imagine we were almost in the same room, that I was able to look over at you any time and get a comforting feeling. You gave me advice that I hold close to my heart. Not all of it is art-related, either. You actually changed my person and I'm a calmer, more patient, more kind and mindful human. I also think about that Christmas when we couldn't be friends and you left me a message here. We hadn't spoken in months and I cruelly did not apologize or told you what was happening with me, and you still thought of me on Christmas.

I still love you. But not in a romantic way. I feel so much love for the person that you are, and sometimes when you tell me that you're not that great I want to shake you. You are wonderful and so lovely. I'm afraid to be alone with you sometimes, because you shine so brightly I don't know if I could help falling back in if I let myself. So I won't. But know that I miss you all the time. I'm glad you're happy with your cute girlfriend and that I'm with my boyfriend. I know some opportunities will come to you regarding your career. I hope for them often. You deserve all good things.
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We can't be friends if you're gonna do this shit
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>>18598940
But how long should I wait to have anal again? Or does that not really matter either? Just scared of getting them hemorrhoids.
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>>18598909
This fucking scares me.
I have the exact same thing with a very good friend of mine. I don't want to lose that person.
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>>18598991
Meant this post: >>18598959
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>>18598988
Poop, if there's blood there's a problem if not flip over and play in the mud
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>really want this game I can't buy
>mention it to bf in an offhanded way
>he responds with mild indifference, then asks if I want to watch him stream another game he seems to have recently bought
I don't want to be like "Hey, can you buy me this game?" because it might come off badly, but it kinda sucks since I'd definitely get him a game if I could and he wanted me to.
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I'm sick of not finding a compatible match when it comes to sex. I want my holes fucking stretched and spanked and called a pretty little whore, god damn it. Why are all these men little bitches?
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>>18598963
What shit?
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>>18599002
I'll stretch you
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>>18599017
Please.
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tomorrow I'm flying out to another country where I don't really speak the language cause my friend of 7 years invited me over. I already went once before a few years ago. We both went to the same university in a third unrelated country and I've been in love with her for pretty much that entire time. So I'm gonna finally spill the beans.

I'm pretty sure this is what I should be doing but goddamn I'm nervous
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>>18599023
When and where
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>>18599025
Just prepare for the "your like a best friend to me and I don't want to change that" comment

Pic related
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>>18599039
I already got a plan for that.

Alcohol is really cheap there. I'll do it the last night and then just drink till my return flight worst case.

desu I just want the answer, positive or negative, I'll probably sleep a lot better at night afterwards whatever the case and I can get back to worrying about regular shit like work or the weather etc.
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>>18599052
Fair enough it's good to have contingencies. Gods speed.
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God in half hour im going to meet some of my new classmates i really hope they are nice people, last year i had to deal with a class full of lazy drug addict assholes , and then i had to work at a place full of more drug addict assholes

i wish i could go back to how i was a year ago my self confidence was higher than ever before but after being invited to all those fucked up parties full of drama i just don't think i'll ever be able to make friends with normies, it's getting really hrd for me to trust people nowdays

Also god dammit a year ago before i meet those assholes my weight was 66 kg, after all the depression and shit i i weighed 81 kg and after this month of preparation now that finally living alone again i have only managed to go down to 77kg, i hope things go well today maybe by december i'll be back in good shape
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>>18599002
>gf comes out and says she wants me to be really rough and aggressive
>act territorial and predatory, as I love her too much to harm her
>next time she wants it to go further with abuse
>reluctantly agree, have some spontaneous rape sex after a busy day for her
>she wants it worse
>Do it again, hate it, this time she's crying.
>she runs to the bathroom, and I go to comfort it her.
>Take shower, we fight and she starts brawling out of the shower and ends up breaking some glass into her back.
>I try to help her but she just resists, I have to hold her down
>she calls for help and tries to get her phone nearby
>I'm so angry and done with her that I gauss her wounds. She's still fighting, finally I gave in and fucked her right there.
>The whole time she's bawling and I can barely keep myself hard. I have to shut her up just to finish.
>Take her back back to bed, take away her phone and lock the door
>She says thank you and that it was amazing
I wish my gf never asked for this, I'm currently out of town for work but I really don't want to come back home. I feel so disgusted with myself. I was crying more than her after the last time.

Hardly the same thing but I don't know how people could want something like this. Aggressive loving is one thing, but i don't know how peopl can want something like this.
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>>18599076
This bitch cray
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>>18599076
Im a chad and have fucked plenty of bitches like this without hesitation. You stupid kike. I will steal her away from you
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>>18599000
Feelin entitled, eh?
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>>18598909
Im smart, but a complete fucking dumbass. I can talk in depth on just about anything space related, and have a good understanding of the subatomic world on the surface. I can think rationally, connect dots, ask questions, find conflicting information and figure out why, and a huge understanding of my own mind and how I work. I lack dedication. Despite good marks in school when I actually gave a half assed attempt at the class, I succumbed to laziness and never finished. My memorization is atrocious, remembering peoples names consistently is near impossible, let alone remembering all the layers of the atmosphere and other trivial things that don't follow any type of logic based deduction to fall back on when my memory fails. I am a complete social flop. Factors as not understanding social procedure, literal autism, having to think on the spot while not understanding, and the disability to recall specific words and phrases esenctial too express my line of thought, and poor empathy, put me at a large disadvantage. I dont have much... common sense, knowing exactly what people are saying when they say or ask for it, along with being extremely forgetful make me look like a complete moronic idiot. Because of the perception of being fucking dumb, I am never given the opportunity to engage in activities that require higher mental power where I will succeed at. I am left on the sidelines when the 'adults' do their work, when I know given the opportunity, I can do it and prove I can to them. They will never give me that chance because I am bad at some things so I must be bad at everything.
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>>18599085
>>/r9k/
Go roleplay with your sperg friends
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>>18599087
Not really. I've never asked him for anything (which is probably why he's never given me anything), and I'm not actually pissed off at him or whatever. It's just sad.
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>>18598997
Thanks anon.
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>>18599096
Iktfb. Except I'm also uneducated as fuck, not because I didn't bother to learn anything but because my memory is jacked. I don't think it's actually memory loss, I think it's a memory access problem. I've been under a lot of stress so I think that plays a major part in my mental block.

Anyway, because of this my parents treat me like I'm brain-dead, mainly my mom. Over-explaining things in a condescending tone, laughing at my suggestions, never taking me seriously, etc. It's really frustrating. I also have a speech impediment that she mocks on a regular basis which I try hard to not be offended about (if I say anything she tells me to stop being so sensitive or "it's just a joke jeez!").

I don't know where I'm going with this, just wanted to say that I can kinda relate to what you're going through. I hope things get better for you, anon.
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I just want something to ease the constant boredom.
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>>18598909
>be me
>plainly handsome as a kid
>coollest guy you knew
>spend teens wasted
>wasted teens, spend early twenties building a life
>getting serious, no more time for superficial romantic explorations
>keep making improvements desperately to assure a sort of future
>get fit
>live a honest, clean life now
>mfw my face looks like a fucking broomstick
>mfw this wasn't part of the plan
>mfw there's no back acting the way I did which is impossible looking like a muppet
>all I have left of my previous life are memories I am unable to recreate
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I really wished I put my foot down about college
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>wrote the longest post i've ever written, in an adv thread about overcoming depression
>wasn't done with the story after 2000 words
>delete it all instead of finishing in another post
>another time 4chan
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why am i so concerned about being the "better person" and reach out to her?

shes the one who called me drunk the other night to say she cheated, tried to recant it, etc, along with the constant persuits of other guys behind my back while telling me she loves me to my face.

and im concerned about her being sad that I am ignoring her?

nah, dead radio silence is the strongest of all messages.
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I'm so goddamn lonely.

I see these drop-dead beautiful girls everywhere and I don't have the cojones to talk to them, let alone flirt with them or ask them out, not anymore. It's pointless when you get shot down every single time. "I already have a boyfriend." "I'm too busy right now." "I just don't see you in that way." I keep trying but nothing works. I don't know what's wrong with me. Something must be wrong with me, but no one will tell me what it is. Am I not attractive enough? Is it something I keep saying or doing wrong? Or am I just undesirable, unfuckable, unlovable?

But what would I do if one of them said yes? I have no idea. I have no experience. None. And I'm still a fucking virgin. I'm a grown man but I feel like a lost little boy. And I'm too poor to be able to make her happy, to show her a good time or give her what she wants. I just want someone to love, to spend time with, to make stupid jokes with, to plan a life together with. A cute, soft girl to cuddle through those long, lonely nights. Or is it too "creepy" to want something like that? Probably, when I put it that way, but it's honestly how I feel right now.

At least sometimes I get to imagine what it might be like in my dreams, if I'm lucky enough to remember them. And when I'm unfortunate enough to be awake I keep daydreaming of selling everything I own and moving abroad to find someone, because it's pretty obvious no one wants me here, but then I'd just die alone and unloved somewhere else.

And yes, I know I don't deserve happiness and the world doesn't owe me anything, so don't give me that bullshit like it's some profound truth I'm not willing to accept. Thanks for the "help". Thanks for nothing. Go to hell.
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>>18599291
Live life, don't expect anything from these chicks. Maybe one in a hundred will have sex with you, maybe one in a thousand will marry you. Keep going out there, keep on fighting for the hope of living life how you want it to be. Head UP
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Long time since the last time I posted

I tried being positive about more or less everything the past days , but everything is falling down quickly. I remember the last time I posted here I write something edgy like "Everyday feels the same , I don't know where I am anymore" , some Anon said to me that the text was the lamest thing he read in a long time , I know I shouldn't take anything serious from here , but , well , it felt bad..
This week I had a new idea for a game , a Fallout spin-off in Russia , I even write some ideas and a kinda bad intro , I even fantasized about it being approved as a official thing in Bethesda , had a dream job , you guys can imagine it , but you know , reality comes back after all. I wonder if I could live from anything related to videogames , it just seems as a teenager dream that is going to dissolve when my 20's kick in.
I also tried to go out with someone that used to call me "her best friend" , but she just keeps giving me excuses to not go out , I don't know anymore.

Damn , it feels embarrassing posting things like this here , but well , I don't have anyone to talk about how I feel , or , anything at all
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Ive been depressed for a long time, but lately Ive also been getting angry then sad again.

I dont know, everything just pisses me of and even though I expect nothing Im always disappointed.

I guess I want to ask why that is. Small chance some of you mightve experienced this.
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I sleep with and use women for fun, and then throw them away. They usually get so depressed afterwards that they just stay with me as friends to fuck, but now I'm depressed because of the people I've ruined. Any advice??
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>>18599382
If you're decent you don't treat women like trash in the first place
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>>18598909
I can't stop thinking about you. Just saying it makes me feel silly, since we knew each other for only a short time.
I said some dumb things because I panicked about how much I liked you already. I think you ended up thinking that I didn't care about you.

I wish I could meet you like you wanted. I won't tell you how I felt because I don't want to bother you. It feels good to get it off my chest though.
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>>18599419
Mint Milanos!
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You were the biggest mistake I've ever made. I told you I didn't want a relationship when we first started talking and you insisted and didn't give me a choice. Our relationship was illegal and abusive and you're a disturbing fucking person to continuing to threaten me with photos that you still have of me that would be considered child pornography. You nearly ruined me and my life. You're a rotten and toxic fucking individual and I hope one day karma hits you in the back for everything you did to me. I hate you for everything you did to me, I'm never going to be the same again. I'm glad you'll never be able to contact me again because I don't want to hear from you.
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End my life.
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>>18599105
You just have to be patient. It's no fun to just say yes, it needs to be a surprise.
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women need to stop saying they like videogames. they dont. women find them boring and stupid, ALL OF THEM. what a coincidence that in the era where videogames are cool all of the sudden these fucking whores are nerds ad gamers. no you aint, 2 years ago you didnt gave a single ahit. "but i used to play teh legend of zelda when i was little". yes hoe i used to play with an old phone cord and pretend it was a snake, that doesnt mean shit. you are not a gamer, specially if you are good looking, you know it, YOU FUCKING KNOW IT, so stop, fucking cunts. learn your place and dont fucking invade the only place i feel at ease hoe, fuck you.
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>>18598963
Your sister was loose as fuck, fag.
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>>18599593
I would wish that upon no one.
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>>18599419
can someone relay this to my bf
thanks
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>>18599544
>STOP LIKING THE THINGS I LIKE!!!1! you're not a REAL fan like ME! ME ME ME! WAAAAA

kys
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I wish you hadn't turned out to be such a faggot. I loved you entirely. Oh well.
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>>18598909
I left my boyfriend (yes homo) of several years because I'm in love with one of his female friends. I justify it because if I didn't I'm afraid I'd cheat on him eventually, and that gay relationships may not really be the place for me.
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I hate the way I look even though people say I'm a solid 8/10, I need constant reassurance that I'm loved by my boyfriend cus I have been depressed as long as I can remember and idk how long he'll put up with me, I want to become a better person for him and everyone around me even though I want to end my miserable existence.
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I think about killing myself everyday.
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>>18599729
Me too.
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>>18599419
I'm never spending money on girls. Nice try, vaginashill.
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You were my best friend. weve been in each others lives for 4 years. We used to not be able to go for an hour with out talking to each other. if we werent texting we were talking on psn, if we werent gaming together we were hanging out. You're the only person who ive ever wanted to stay in my life. then you stopped talking to me after we went on a date. it hurt, but i could live with it. then, a week before i turned 16 we started talking again. I felt amazing. more then amazing. i felt alive, and i havent felt that in so long. my birthday passes and things are good between us. theyre not the same, but theyre good. then we date. and jesus christ, it was the best time of my life. Until you got me drunk and tried fucking me after i said no 3 times. jfc. youre almost 19 you shit brain you should of known better then to try to fuck a high and drunk 16 year old girl.i told you before then i didnt want to have sex yet. i didn't want to go through the pain of having to relive memories from when my cousin would do sexual things to me. i never told you that. i wish i did. maybe then you would of understood why it was such a big deal to me. but you didnt. you broke up with me after 2 months. you made me realize you only dated me for the chance of taking my virginity. now you're dating a 25 year old lawyer who you met when we were dating. youve known each other for less then 2 months and youre already ' madly in love'. well FUCK YOU R. fuck you. fuck you for making me feel this way. fuck you for trying to take advantage of me. fuck you for trying to use me. it hurts so badly when i see you and say hi and you don't even fucking look at me. you selfish bastard. i wish i never talked to you. i wish i didn't have such amazing memories with you. i hate that all the happiest times of my lfie have been with you. i hate how i can't go anywhere in this god forsaken city with out thinking about what weve done there, and how we could be making new memories. i hate how awful youmakemefeel.
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ive always been depressed. but being with you, it made evrything that was impossible feel possible. i saw the universe in your eyes. now that i know what happiness feels like, and now that ive had it ripped away from me, im even more depressed then before we got together. I just hate you so much R. i hate you so much.
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Sometimes I like to wonder if they girl I like thinks about me the way I think about her. Like, she worries about getting my attention, and that next time she sees me she'll definitely strike up a conversation because we haven't seen each other in a year, then try to get my number because she don't run into each other very often anymore and then everything is smooth sailing from there. Or even maybe worrying that I got a girlfriend in that year we haven't encountered each other.

Its very, very unlikely. I may even be literally nothing to her and I'm just being a creep, but its fun to imagine it. Just for a moment, it makes me feel a little less lonely.
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I'm really just a terrible person. I'm narcissistic, overly-needy, a pathological liar, manipulative, insensitive, parasitic, short-tempered, licentious, overly-idealistic, impulsive, irresponsible, a constant blame shifter, and violent. But no one wants to be seen as the villain, so of course I'm also fake as fuck, pretending to be a good person to win friends, favors, and "fortune." Haha, sometimes I'm so fake, I even fool myself into thinking I'm a good person. But that usually doesn't last too long, since I'm so damn shallow that after only knowing me for a little while, you'll be able to peak through the cracks and see me for the piece of scum that I am.

I won't go into details about all the people I've hurt, since we'd be here all day, but I finally fully realized this truth with my most recent victim: my girlfriend of three years. After she broke up with me, bawling her eyes out, I had a good long self-examination, and I realized what a monster I am. Three months ago I had planned to jump off the bridge near my house and end it all, since it felt like the whole world was crushing down on me. But now I wish I had done it, since I realize that it's the opposite: I'M the one who's burdening everyone. Of course, my family and "friends" will deny this to hell and back, but of course they do. They only know the fake "good boi" face I've been wearing since God-knows how long. They only know me as the guy who follows all the rules, is popular with everyone, all that stuff. But it's not the truth. And of course, I could never tell them all this, since I'm too scared to sully the reputation I've built up, since I'm such a selfish piece of shit.
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>>18599756
I hate myself. And before the month is done, I can promise you that you can sleep a little easier, knowing that one scumbag like that has rid the world of themselves. Ha, or probably not. Last time when I went to go to the bridge, I got picked up by the cops, so I don't even know if I actually have the courage to throw myself over. I'd like to believe that I'm virtuous enough to pay for my sins, but given everything I've said so far, probably not, huh? Haha, I wish a dozen stray bullet would rip through my skull and rid this world of my bullshit.

I know I'm the scum of the earth. But I'm too weak and lazy to try to fix anything. It'd be better and easier for everyone if I just died. There are people out there who are suffering, but me, a lazy, selfish, short-tempered piece of shit, gets life easy. God.
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>>18599544
>dont fucking invade the only place i feel at ease hoe, fuck you.

This so much.

/r9k/ for example.

Used to be a place where all the loser guys who'd heard "creep" one too many times could go. A place for men who'd given up, knew their place in the world or simply understood that maybe they didn't have a shot.
People who'd been hurt, bad enough that it would be easy to just lay there than ever try getting back up again.

But the cries of a thousand thirsty and desperate men would no doubt attract women who love attention.
Even more so, when, as happens with 4chan, some posters make the news (alex mercer for one).

People come here, the underground asshole of the internet, the misogyny attracts women because nothing pulls women more than men who do not want them. The allure of the "no girls allowed" sign, of the "Don't do it, he's a douchebag who'll cheat" seems to compel women into doing the opposite.

The women in turn attract normies who want to get laid.

Suddenly, it's cool.
But the thing you loved lost it's soul on the way there. What made it what it is.

It's why I retreated to /pol/ now.

And now I hate jews too.
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>>18599726
I'm so fucked up in the head that even if you were locked up with me 24/7, I'd still think you were cheating on me.

Shit in the past really takes a toll on people.
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Please fucking talk to me. I'm losing it.
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>>18599112
I don't have a speech impediment but, I have a hard time thinking of people names and movie titles. I guess I don't care enough to learn as lazy as I am. I like to think I am doing the best I can. Im not. Could be doing the dishes or paying more attention to my kids. Instead, I'm here. Its not all bad, its where come to discover we are not alone. Thanks for sharing. I wanted to say that some of my best teachers in life have had troubles speaking clearly. Trying to understand them would lead me to being better in my life and job. Thanks
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>>18599000
Buy your own fucking game, theres your equality
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Tomorrow is where everything falls into play or crashes and burns. I'm taking my oneitis to the city 30 miles away to spend the day. She lives 20 miles further out than me, so her going out of her way to meet up with me in my town has to be a good sign right?

I'm pretty anxious about this since it's been so long since I've met anyone that gave me these kinds of feels. I'd like to trust in luck or something to make it great, but it all depends on me. Here's hoping for the best.
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I just cried so hard I threw up. This can't be normal
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>>18598991
Reach out to them, they probably think you don't give a shit anymore if you are anything like the post you referenced.
>>
I still love you. Even though I'm bitter as fuck and ressent you, I would crawl back to you with a snap of your fingers. But you won't do that, you said that we should move on with our lives, and I can see you don't have any doubts anymore about that. But fuck. We could have been so much together, we were amazing together, I still can't understand what happened. You said that I was the love of your life, how could that change so fast? Why didn't you said before that you were starting to ressent me? Why you always had to "protect" my feelings? I would never be angry at you if you were honest with me.
But now I'm here, feeling worthless, knowing that I can't afford to feel this way for so long, sending messages to your best friend asking if I really should vanish for good from your life. And you're there, in the other side of the country, and I probably won't see you in face ever again.
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>>18599823
Never believe anyone who says they love you. It's all a lie.
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I feel like my best and only friend is using me, but I don't how I am supposed to deal with it.
We are walking distance from one another so we hang out all the time and we make each other laugh. She doesn't drive so sometimes I feel like I'm her personal taxi. Also, a few pictures of just her are on my social media, which she jokely told me to do. If I take them down it will be kind of weird and she will ask. She's not interested in me and she told me she just wants to be friends.
She's a lesbian but she's actually pansexual. She had a trans gf/bf (male) but now shes interested in a girl (female).
She tells me about her and I listen, which I guess is a friend thing to do. But listening to it makes me feel like a cuck because I'm still interested in her.
She's literally the only person who I hang out with so I don't want to piss her off but at the same time it feels weird being used. I pretty sure she doesn't realize she's doing it but she's kind of manipulate in general.
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>>18599811
Been there anon. Gonna do it again tonight.
>>
>>18599826
im in a similar situation except in my case, i'm the girl best friend whos interested in other girls and hes the boy bestfriend whos hopelessly in love with me. i feel like such a bitch when i tell him about my crushes because i know he wish that i was talking about him. I feel like such a bitch. i just don't view him in that way. I tried to force myself to, i believe that he deserves to be happy and i wanted to make him happy. but i just couldnt do it.
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>>18599405
>>18599780
What's your two story? If you don't mind me asking.

Both your posts just remind me of a dilemma I'm having with a girl (here's my vent I guess). Knew her for roughly 3 months we hit it off well for the first week, but she went away for a month, eventually comes back. Then a series of shit happens in between those months and suddenly it was different and then eventually stopped contacting me. Ran into her a couple weeks back and she was rather cold and passive when I asked her how she felt about me.

I know in some capacity I fucked up because I've been emotionally disconnected from everything as of late. But, it's still making me uneasy wondering how easily she cut me off. Or maybe she thinks I don't care. But knowing from experience I just don't think so anymore, I'm not sure why she liked me in the first place.
>>
Why are you ghosting me when I'm desperately pleading to you for help?
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>>18599848
Thanks for telling me in different point of view.
I know she cares for me deeply.

Has he ever tried to make a move on you?
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>>18599824
Yeah... I guess it's pretty easy to fall in that trap when she's the first person in the world that you could relate in a personal level. Oh well, back to the real world.
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>>18599544
Men need to stop getting offended when we like the things they like, get over it you whiny crybabies. We don't mind if you like girly stuff, because we're not retarded.
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>>18599872
yes he has ahha, on a camping trip we went on together a few weeks ago. we were laying in a hammock looking at the stars when he put his arm around me. after that, we had a thing going on for at least 3 weeks. i was his first kiss. i think i actually kissed him if i remember it correctly and i'll admit, it did feel njice. but then i started thinking about how fucked up i would get if we got together and then broke up. so just yesterday i told him it would be better if we stayed friends because wed likely be in each others lives for a longer period of time if we werent in a romantic relationship.
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Pls message me
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My depression is so powerful it feels like a literal weight, and I have no good, valid reason to be depressed at all. I remember the happy person I was and I want to cry. It goes without saying I have queer sexuality problems, and should absolutely just end it.

I have personally chased off all of my friends, pretty much on purpose, cause I hate the sound of people and talking any more. I'm not cynical, I'm just so angry, all the time, for no reason. When forced to hang out with my friends or coworkers, just knowing that I'm going to have to go at some point in the day drives me to a fit of anger, and when I get there I'm cold and hateful until I've been there long enough, or upset everyone, and I can leave and be alone, thinking "god damn, I'm so lonely", like a fucking fool.
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>>18599926
Fuck off already
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My youth is running out as I slowly drive closer to 30, and I have never been loved by anyone. When people tell me it will happen eventually, I get angry, though I'm not autistic enough to show it. Most people have blown through 4 or 5 relationships in their lives by 25, 26. Ive never even gotten my first, which is a wash for everyone anyways, so why even bother? So I can kick it with some 40 old bitch in a few years named Karen, have a huge falling out and give her all my shit in a divorce? Young youthful love is the only purpose, cause no one is happy when they're old and miserable.
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I have a question for all the femanons I want to get off my chest. How many men have you slept with?
(I'm not asking because I'm a "slut shamer" only for the sanctity of my current relationship)
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>>18599938
literally non lmao my ex bf tried fucking me while i was drunk but it hurt to much and i freaked out. my first bf tried to guilt trip me into sleeping with him but i dont think what we did counts because he only got the tip in
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>>18599947
So two lmao nice try though
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>>18599746
intitials?
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>>18599965
Fuck off right now
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I type a lot of shit down, erase it, then type some other shit down, never actually post anything. This is all I got to show. I answer my own fucking questions, solve my own fucking problems.
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>>18599969
MOTHERFUCKER I ALMOST GOT THE QUINTS
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>>18599950
i guess ahha. they both only got the tip in though and both times it lasted like 2 minutes. have you ever watched pineapple express? theres a part were the main character is asked how many girls hes slept with and he says 2 and a half because one time he only dipped a ball in and he doesnt feel like it fully counted. Thats me XD i dont feel like those times fully counted but like they sort of counted. like both were a half that made a full or some stupid ass shit
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>>18599969
>Hey man how you doing
"i want to die, actually"
"i think about suicide daily"
"god I hurt, can I just talk about something?"
"I want to scream until it kills me"

...

"nm, eh."
>lol yeh same
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>>18599980
Get lost. Go away when I tell you to. You know that there will be consequences if you don't and they know that too and they are ready. I assure you, it's not worth it.
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>>18599998
You have it coming.
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>>18599952
R W.
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>>18599984
I need to vent aswell. you're going to be my R right now.

I was so depresseed and you just made things worse. how was i supposed to express to someone i care about that i wanted to end my life? how was i supposed to tell you about the molestation i went through as a kid? breaking up with me because you couldnt fuck me. throwing away our whole friendship along with it. you were in my life for 4 years. you were the only person i have ever wanted. you were all i had. and then suddenly poof. youre gone. because i wouldnt fuck you? you broke my heart because i wouldnt slobber on your dick? i was always there for you, i gave you everything. i always put your feelings before mine. you always came first. but i was always a second, or a third in your eyes. never a priority. but you were the first thing on my mind every morning and the last thing on my mind every night. you made me so happy, and now you make me want to fucking kill myself even more then i had wanted to before. you helped me come through so much and now that your gone my motivation is gone. its not fair. you hurt me so much. i wish i could hurt you the way you hurt me. because holy crap, you fucking broke me.
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I HATE BEING A 23 YEAR OLD VIRGIN
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>>18600029
Yep, I am definitely not your R.

I never would have broken up with the person I mentioned. They in fact broke up with me a week after cheating on me with one of their new friends, and it completely crushed all my motivation and self esteem. I sacrificed everything for them and put them first in all regards, even if they were being unreasonable or if it hurt.

Sorry for your loss, hopefully your R becomes a better person and comes back. Much like I hope I get my H back.
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>>18600047
thank you so much for letting me vent.
Im sorry you H did that to you. I don't know you, but you seem like you cared a lot about them and you definitely didn't deserve to get your love thrown back into your face like that. no one deserves that. I hope she realizes all the bad she did to you and tries to fix things between you two. i defiantly feel for you.

thank you for saying that. I appreciate it c: I hope your H comes back to you a new and better person as well. heart breaks suck.
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I'm so fucking anxious
All the fucking time
I sit there at my computer and I hear everyone else by my cubicle clattering around moving around talking chattering to one another I hate it
I have to give a presentation tomorrow I don't think it'll go well fuck I hate working I hate feeling like this
I go back to uni in 2 weeks and I will hate other people just as much there as I do here Last year I spent as much time as possible hidden in basements and stairways to the roof and empty classrooms with the lights turned off just so I could be alone and no one would see me
Cubicles are hell but so is Uni
I apologize to the thread for being a deranged weirdo
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>>18600083
You always have to come and ruin these threads don't you
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>>18600083
>dementia symptoms
Reminds me of someone.
>>
A while back, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me via contacting two girls online and talking to them sexually. It was a painful two months dealing with this. I managed to forgive him eventually and he promised me he would never do it again after seeing how much pain it caused me. However, he has been working abroad for a month and a half and I can't stop thinking about how he might try to pull that online shit again. I know for sure he is not likely going to cheat on me through an actual encounter with someone since like me, he is a fairly socially isolated person and has been one for all his life. However, he has a bad porn addiction, a high sex drive, and has often tried to seek out women online in the past. I cannot help but suspect that something is up especially when his Steam account shows him logging off hours after I last sent him a text. It's difficult to think of how to confront him about this since he's not going to be back for another month.
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I feel that my mom is trying to sabotage my life because I want things to be better for me. She constantly tells me I am good, but then when I don't do things she would like, she gets pissed off. I have to be the good nigger and do everything she says or else. And some people say, "Well why don't you leave"? Its because she has cut of my ways to leave, meaning money and such, and she doesn't let me get a job.
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I don't want to go to college.
I definitely don't want to go to the one I've been lying about going to for a year now.
Now they want me to apply.
Now I need to decide on a new major because my heart isn't in this useless major I've done at the community college.
I'll probably fail if I go but that's what they want.
Fuck, I hate this all so much.
>>
All I ever wanted was for you to understand. And it's never gonna happen. I don't know how I can live with that.
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>>18600083
Do you not know the concept of COINCIDENCE?
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We spent four fucking years together only for you to move on in a month. You tell me you finally found happiness with someone else. So you spent four years and not one day went by where you were happy? Six months later I still have nightmares over you and no matter who I date or sleep with (not much by the way) you are still stuck in my fucking head. Fuck you. I wasn't perfect. But at least I saw your faults and loved you for it instead of jumping ship for someone else the second things looked rocky.
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>>18599938
One. My ex boyfriend.
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I'm tired of being told that looks don't matter by delusional uggos and attractive people, even when they see my FUCKING FACE.

I have an orbital rim deformity that caused my eyes to stay permanently, heavily cross-eyed, along with having one of them be noticeably lower than the other, to the point where people bring it up in conversation (after the cross-eyedness, of course)

I'm tired of being told to go to the gym, dress well, exercise, and be confident when I already do all those things.

But most of all, I'm tired of being called pathetic by platitude-spouting "friends" when I brought up that I'm getting eye surgery in November. But I do love how when I ask them what they would do in my shoes, they hesitate and half-heatedly tell me that they'd wait for someone who loves them for "who they really are." I'm so excited to finally look (relatively) normal.
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Why the hell do I fucking tell myself not to spend time with my girlfriend because I've been spending too much time with her and it's causing me to feel anxious and then the next evening I come over cause she invited me over and here I am, starting to feel anxious
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>>18600122
It is a coincidence that out of millions of videos in the world there are some you can relate to. Specially since the thing you look for has cats (an animal millions of people have as pets and thus like) and the colors black and white, which are together EVERYWHERE.
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>>18600148
I messed up the reply thing oh well.
>>
Right after they used you. You are alone once again. It is your fault that you trust people too much. Now, you yearn for their attention because of the brief period that you've spent with them, thinking that you and your so called friends have something in common. Truth be told, nobody ever wants to hang out with a weirdo like you. This is why you were labelled as a dog before. Because all you ever do is to chase people's tails. When will you learn?
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>>18600143
You're damn right. The advice to dress well, go to the gym, etc, is for people who aren't naturally ugly, they just don't bother looking good.
My ex used to have a lazy eye and got surgery to fix it, it was absolutely worth it for him. Nothing pathetic about that, your friends are idiots.
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>>18600124
Get over it, sweetheart. Four years and you never caught on to his unhappiness?
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Idk man im like a solid 7 maybe 8 if I tryed harder.

I just have no fucking idea where my life is going, I have friends and we all are good but like idk its just boring
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I have blue balls so fucking bad my back hurts. like the pain goes on an angle from my balls to my lower back.

also I fucking hate sleeping in an empty bed now.
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>>18599938
Just one a guy I trusted after a year of being on and off. Were both busy people who don't have time to date it worked out.
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I thought I was over my ex and something reminded me of him and I've been crying for days. The pain of a person you love not caring about you is absolutely unbearable. Will I ever move on? I don't want my future boyfriend to have to deal with this.
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I know I still have a lot of work to do to make the most of the opportunities I've earned, but I have to admit that I may find my faith in this remarkable country of ours renewed if I actually manage to turn this shitheap of a life around.
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if you wanted to be here, you'd be here now. so what am I supposed to do with that? I gave you a clear option to do stuff with me and you didn't take it. you don't want to do stuff with me. that's what I get.

I'm going to get cigarettes and go for a drive. always the same old same old.
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if you ruin this so you can have your threesome I will never forgive any of you. don't cross me.
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Hope.

You and I. We are perfect for each other. Mostly in how stupid we are. There is still so much between us. You tell me that you have been thinking about me. At the same, I have been thinking of you.
We are harmful for each other. We see it and we know it. How many times have we done this dance now? 4 maybe 5 times? Yet we continue.
We love each other, yet, we can't seem to make things work out right.
That is a painful feeling, you know this right? To love, to truly feel as of everything will be alright when we are together, but have the world implode on us when we aren't. Do we need each other more than we think? Or are be destructive?
I don't know. I don't know why we try to fight ourselves so much. You acting like this, it isn't you. You know it.
And this, this thing I became, it's not how I am. Not anymore.

Is it stupid? That after this many falls, this much pain, that I don't want us to hurt like this anymore? That ibeant to stand up from the ground and try to walk foward with your gentle touch in mine?

Hope. It's fucking terrifying. We both care the scars caused by each other. The cuts and bruises upon the heart and mind. Still, I hope. I hold on to it, and when i talk to you, i can feel you do as well. Maybe this time you will speak openly with me, tell me your true feelings. And, maybe this time I will listen.

I want to try again. I know you do to. Next time we meet, I will start by giving the support I neglected to give you for a these years. I finally worked my way our of the most that plagued me, us, for years.

It's been a rough year for us. Probably the worst we have ever shared. I promise not toet this happen again. Not to give into the voices and doubt. I miss you. I miss treating you the way I used to. The way your eyes sparked up when we spoke, the way you made me overheat from nerves. I miss the way you could make me smile even when the world was fire around me.
I have missed you. This time I won't let go.
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I don't feel worthy. I'm not sure if I still love or like my ex, but I know that we broke up because it was mostly my fault. I'm not ready for another relationship, I get extremely nervous, even with simple stuff like hugging or hand holding, I feel like I'm gonna mess everything up if I start going out with someone else and I really don't want to hurt anyone. I want to move on, but I don't know how, I tried to change, to be more like me, but he keeps appearing in my thoughts. I feel like I'm doomed to be alone and that's awful because I want children and someone to love me back, but I feel like I'm gonna fuck it up. I'm too insecure, clumsy and shy, damn it, plus I look like a pre-teen so that's blocking me too, even with make up or shit, I still look too young. I doubt that a guy would want to date someone like that. It sucks, man.
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>>18599938
Well I guess I am going to be the fucked up one. But counting molestation and actual consenting partners 6. Lost virginity at around 3. Not going to hide it anymore also keep a good eye on your kids especially with family members. Don't get too caught up in adulting that you forget about keeping an eye out for your kids.
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>>18598909
I'm really angry—not at anyone in particular—I just have this lingering fury inside of me. I'm not a violent person and I don't raise my voice or act outside of my morals and values. I wonder if that's where my anger stems from: Do I need to lash out every now and then. I live in a great place, I'm making good money, and I'm pretty handsome, but I feel like that isn't enough. It's not my intention to sound braggadocios either. I have this urge to take the entire world in the palm of my hands and until I can have it all I won't have the happiness or contentment I seek. Don't mind me, just getting it off chest.
>>
*my chest
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>>18600327
If you think about him a lot it is a good sign you still like him. If you are the one who ruined the relationship you could always apologize and ask to try and make it work out again I suppose.
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>>18599938
only one, my ex bf . but it makes me worry that some guys will see me as 'slutty' or smth because im not virgin anymore
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>>18600327
>plus I look like a pre-teen so that's blocking me too, even with make up or shit, I still look too young
Muh dick
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>>18598909
Is nearly a year of a relationship a reasonable amount of time to say "I love you" I love my girlfriend and as she's my first girlfriend I am incredibly hesitant to tell her incase it ruins things but I truly do love her, not the idea of her but actually her.
>>
>have friend
>love her
>mutual acquaintances always telling me we would make a great couple
>agree wholeheartedly
>I have to tell them she already has a boyfriend
>this keeps happening
>has happened at least 5 times in the last 3 months

Don't know how much more I can take.
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>>18600353
Thank you a lot, anon... But he made it really clear that he doesn't love me anymore. I've apologized, but it was too late, he doesn't feel anything for me anymore... But, Thank you again, you made me smile.
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>>18599780
Give me a hint as to who you are
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>>18600392
He is you and me. We are all one and the same for we are the alone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PtIHBCuR-Q
>>
I find myself compulsively wanting sex all the time, and I'm afraid it's going to cause me to make a rash decision and ruin my current relationship.

This girl that I'm with right now is the best thing for me. We don't fight very much, the sex is great, and we're about to get home from a vacation together. It's also the first normal, manageable relationship I've ever had. And i really, genuinely love her.

I know i can't afford to throw it away. I've never cheated on anyone before, and i have no intention on it. But just SEEING my ex, the girl who defined my mentality on relationships from the beginning, unleashes some primal urge in me that almost negates any common sense i have. It feels akin to a relapse.

Idk what to do. Any supportive words are appreciated. I just don't want to go back to being my own worst enemy. I really don't want to fuck this up.
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I keep dissapointing myself at everything i do, be it online or in life as a whole, and i get really mad at myself because of it. Maybe i'm setting the bar too high for myself, but deep inside i feel like i'm telling me that i can actually accomplish my current goals and activities, as crazy as it may sound

i just want to find myself and where my limits as an individual are, but maybe i'm just crazy and overthinking things like usual even though i've been like this since i was in my teenage years
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>>18600412
Avoid seeing your ex at all costs. Please please please don't cheat, my ex cheated on me two years ago and it's still painful. Being cheated on is absolutely horrible, please don't do it.
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>>18600412
I've been told that it's normal to have these urges after not seeing each other for so long. But, please, anon, don't hurt her, if you really love her, don't cheat on her, it's not worth it.
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>>18600364
Yes: you.
>>
I'm bored to death.
>>
in a perfect world we're falling asleep listening to the sound of the rain right now.

I sit here insecure in my insomnia
this house feels cold, wishing I was holding ya
bring up the feeling with atmosphere
falling behind you became a fear

love has always been an inspiration
but I have to put the brakes on this growing infatuation

lips, hips, slips
of the tongue ensuring I end up hung
up and tangled and mangled
nothing new, I expect it

the rope holding the sword above my head frays as I take a sip from my think, and I sink
down with a frown seeing the distance you put between me.

if I could show you, you would never leave it

I write like shit these days. its all rough and jagged and missing something. I used to be able to just fucking... go, with this shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMcJXhHPsvY
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I can see it. I tried to fix it quick. quick was too late I fear.
>>
seems I always come across witches. the third was supposed to show me the way. the first was supposed to love me. the second was supposed to deceive me. the third is supposed to show me the way at the coming of light.

I fucking hate prophecies. cause you're the third, and the fact the prophecy was even talked about fucks it all up.

I should go full power one day, randomly, and just hold it all day. the things you all get so worried about are my play things. you think you're bored? I fray the rope holding the blade above my head just to feel something.
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>>18600511
>and the fact the prophecy was even talked about fucks it all up.
and I don't mean right now, here. random lines mean nothing.
>>
S. , I loved you and i could feel the attraction between us back then, but you were the gf of one of my best friend and I ignored my feelings because i took an oath for my friends, I have seen you had(or still have?) a new bf and honestly i had hope for us. I hope i will see you again because you were perfect in my eyes
Love You T.
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>>18600118
What happened anon ?
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>>18600372
Initials?
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> Date a boy 4 years Online. NEET style relationship
>Sister ask me to house sit in another state.
>Say yes cause I did it the year before.
> it's a 2 week trip! talked to my bf the whole time 24/7 .
>They come back love the state of the house and me and ask me to move in.
> I say i gotta think about it.
>ask boyfriend , Seems happy with me and said go for it
> hang out with my family more often just in case i say no and miss them
>write boyfriend every single night
>Think one more week about it.
> tell them ya sure
> last 3 days i told bf that i told them i would he hasn't even responded to me
>4th day i ask him why he hasn't been responding and if he wants to break up
> "aren't you atleast going to call me about it?"
> youcan'tbefuckingserious.jpg
>i skype call him and he just basically tells me for 3 minutes that he needs to start doing things too and he thinks it would be better if we just broke up
>Have nothing to say cause i'm a bitch and can't believe it.
>whole break up call last 3 minutes.
> mom calls me and my grandfather has 2 months and they are having hospice
>now i am back home and my family life is crazy and everyone is fighting
Like i have a real healthy life now. Job and shit but i really loved him and he ended it i feel over nothing. Really happy I am out of my Neet Lifestyle but really upset that we didn't even try to make it work. Like these past couple weeks have just been hard on me. Losing 2 loved ones isn't easy and i haven't broke down yet but i feel like i should. I just have no idea where to put my emotions. Like i really miss someone just loving me and caring for me . I feel like im all back on my own and it fucking sucks
>>
Hmm.

I guess I'm not sure what I want to do.

On one hand, everything seems so empty. When I deconstruct things, there's nothing there. I see the path I'm supposed to take, but I don't know if I want to take it. To go through their conditioning, to work in their factories, to be a part of something that doesn't care about me. I don't want to be molded so well that I believe that's who I am.

I've come to terms with it. I know I'm nothing special. I'm far from it. I have no credentials. I guess I get it. Maybe I've understood this longer than I've realized, that all these words I've bothered to learn were a waste of breath. That my voice isn't important. I don't want to have to manipulate others to create meaning. If that's what is required, then does it really have any meaning at all?

For now, I suppose I have a straightforward enough goal. Survive. I'll continue to do what I can for those around me, no matter if it may be in vain. I may not live in that world, but it certainly exists. I'll just hope that those smiles are sincere, at least until I know better.

Regrets, huh.
>>
Please come home already. I want to tell you how I feel. I want to be with you. I want to make you happy. I want to love you when you're sad until you're more than fine, until you're floating in ecstasy. I want us to be like the only two people that matter in the world. Everyone else can be so stupid. So am I. You're only a little bit. God, you sure are acting like one right now. At least try to fucking talk to me. I'm torn between anger and sadness and absolute devotion to being the man for you. I don't want to have to compete. I don't think I have to. I think you and I were meant for each other, don't you?

We're kinda like Chandler and Monica. Friends first, then soulmates. You could be my everything.

Please come home.
>>
>>18600634
I am sure you can reach them even if they are not home anon. Send them a message?
>>
>>18598909
I'm the pretty girl. No, I'm the beautiful girl. I "glowed up" after high school. People can easily argue on my behalf that I'm a 9 or even 10/10. And at first I loved it. Now I wait for the day everyone realizes I'm anorexic. I starve myself. I can see all my ribs and my cheekbones pop even when I don't smile and people tell me I look fantastic lately. I can't wait for my 23 inch waist to get even smaller so that somebody might notice that something is wrong rather than just focusing on how "pretty" I am. My own family tells me to keep the weight off and that I look fantastic. Men are falling over themselves to talk to me. My friends envy me and wish they could have my self control whenever I refuse a second portion. Or take a half portion. Or don't eat anything at all. I hate it. I hate that I wanted all the praise for my appearance to stop and now I'm getting even more. I hate that since I'm so "pretty" people often assume I'm sexually promiscuous and I've only ever had a few partners. I hate that people assume there's nothing going on in my head even though I'm studying science in uni. I hate that whenever I tried to tell people I hate the attention they tell me there's worse things than being beautiful. But it's dehumanizing. It's exhausting. It's emotionally draining to try and turn down so many people as politely as possible. It's hurtful being called things behind my back because I can't give everyone what they want. So I don't eat. And the longer it goes on that nobody notices there's a problem the more obvious it is that all anyone ever cared about was my appearance.
>>
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>one girl ghosts me
>write another girl asking her a question
>ghost her
>>
>>18598909
I can't bring myself to love romantically. It's not that I'm afraid of getting hurt again, it's just that I don't feel any sparks like I used to. The first two people I dated, I was head over heels. They were wonderful, funny, kind, and so handsome in my eyes. The second guy I dated everyone said I was out of his league by far, but I didn't care because in my eyes he was absolutely beautiful. I was so in love with him it took my breath away sometimes and he loved it. He loved having a pretty girl with him who would always give him little presents and shower him with compliments and help him open up emotionally. But when I wasn't ready to have sex, and he got tired of waiting, he left. The third guy I dated I felt those same loving sparks with. And a few weeks in he pressured me into sex. And I was scared, and disgusted. And nothign was the same after that. He kept having sex with me. And I let him. And I finally got the courage to leave him. And afterwards I went back to that second guy. And I had sex with him as we rekindled our love again. And I felt nothing. Nothing about the sex. Nothing about him. Nothing towards anyone, not even myself. I went numb when it came to love and afterwards I realized nobody is going to love me. So why should I love anyone else?
>>
>>18600677
take care of your body for your own sake. the opinions of others are irrelevant, and your health is at risk
>>
>>18600697
I know my health is at risk
And that's much easier to say if people didn't force their opinions down my throat.
>>
>>18600677
Anorexia can be deadly, please don't do this to yourself.
>>
>>18600699
then give them yours. its foolish to let anyone other than yourself determine your behavior. didnt you say youre a science major? think logically, for fucks sake
>>
I've fallen for too many people, and now you bore me. I don't know how to tell you, but I don't want you to be mine anymore. I don't know what to do.
>>
>>18600634
initials?
>>
You can ignore this. It's just mindless venting.

My boyfriend likes girls with scars to the point he has always fetishized the thought of it and when we got together he told me I was his dream girl and he couldn't imagine letting me out of his sight. It took him four months to confess all the things he loves the most about me -- my scars being one of the main things. I remember growing up the most common thing I heard was, "no boy is going to love a girl covered in scars," then most recently in August I was told I'd "never be loved due to my scars" and now here I am in a successful, loving relationship. Funny how things turn out.
>>
>>18600840
You can start by not thinking infatuation is love, and realizing the most important aspect of a long term relationship is resisting such temptations.
>>
>>18600996
>>>18600840
>You can start by not thinking infatuation is love, and realizing the most important aspect of a long term relationship is resisting such temptations.

Lmao, look at this desperate cuck who's scared to compete with real men.
>>
>>18600996
But isn't it? Isn't my infatuation with them good enough to warrent a break-up? I just want something new. And usually when I di, I just dump my current gf. But it makes me feel like shit because they're so affected by it.
>>
>>18601013
>Anyone who thinks I shouldn't be a total whore is a cuck.
Enjoy being used up and dying alone.
>>
>>18601016
In that case my advice is to stick to one night stands, and fucking random sluts until you are older. You sound like you aren't ready to be in a relationship yet, and you want to see more people.
>>
I'm not just nervous, I'm scared. I should be excited after receiving good news but instead i dread what comes next. I'm not excited.
I'm doubtful of my ability to take the next step. It's like my confidence is slipping away. If I can't have you by my side it all seems pointless. I'm not being dramatic. I can't see this through without you.
>>
>>18601031
I'd never considered it. Thanks, Anon. Will try this out for a few months.
>>
Looking back at an old facebook post from like 4 years ago, I realized half of the people who liked it deleted me at some point.
Most of them aren't randos either, it was people I was friends with in school, and I thought we were all still friends.
I know people change, but its still pretty upsetting.
>>
>>18599814
Similar situation here. My ex cheated on me because we were together for three years and I wasn't ready to lose my virginity.
>>
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FUCK YOU

I fucking hate you, you're trash, garbage.

I hope all your shit fails, I want to see you fail, I want to see you ache.

You don't deserve happiness, not before what you did to me.

I could destroy you if I wanted it to, but I won't, I know plenty of things you did. I could use that against you.

Probably you broke up with your girlfriend to be with that whore you are with now, you've already attempted to do that once, remember? but that time the whore you were with rejected you so you had to go back to her.

You're a shitty friend and a horrible person, I never called you out on your bullshit because I loved you. But after all this time of you being abusive it was too much.

I don't want you to kill yourself despite all of this, I just want you to suffer, to pay for what you did. And after that I wouldn't mind if you do :)
>>
>>18599938
Only one, I lost my virginity at 18 and I'm still with that person.
>>
22 F here

When I was younger (around 13-14) I had three guy friends. Being around that age, they started getting into porn

One of them showed me some hentai and said they liked it. Having an artistic streak, I started drawing hentai myself, and it eventually evolved into me drawing hentai and giving it to them to fap over. And eventually THIS turned into me drawing hentai of my OC, which was me, and giving it to them to fap over.

It was really exciting to think of these guys basically masturbating over me. Eventually I asked one of them to let me watch them do it. Watching it really turned me on, and basically long story short, eventually it moved on from me watching, to me masturbating with them, to me giving them blowjobs, to me having sex with them, to us having threesomes/foursomes.

Here's the thing. This all happened when I was 14/15, and I guess I never really thought of it as much more than kids fooling around. It ended when I moved to a new high school (for unrelated reasons) and I haven't had a BF/had sex again for years, until now.

My BF wants to know who I've had sex with in the past. I'm afraid if I tell him about this I'll sound like a huge slut, but I'm really not, we were just kids fooling around. Should I tell him, or just lie to him?
>>
>>18601117
I think it's always better to be build a relationship on honesty rather than lies.
>>
>>18599794
Next thread, you'll be like
>WHY DONT I HAVE GF I AM A NICE BOY :(((
>>
>>18601121

I know, but I'm just really nervous.

Like, I never thought of myself as a slut, and I'm actually really shy and not promiscuous at all. It's just that me and these guys I had been friends with growing up became sexually curious at the same time, and it led to a lot of fooling around. I'm not ashamed of it or anything, but it's hard to explain it without it sounding like I'm way more casual about sex than I actually am.
>>
>>18598909

I posted this:

Well, story time with bad english (sorry), it is long so hold on fellas.

>met a girl in some random chat room (2009)
>chat a lot with her with msn messenger (r.i.p.)
>had 'cam-sex' at least 3 times
>lost contact almost 6 times from 2009 to 2017
>she suddenly travel to my town (i didn't know antything about that), it was a surprise for me
>she calls me (this was the las sunday (aug 2017)) and say that is near to my favorite bar
>i'm at that bar singing and having a good time with the owner and some other dudes
>holy shit, imscared.png
>have a meeting with her at a nice restaurant across the street, she came with her cousin (seems to be a cool guy).
>we talk and the proced to go to another bar, get semi-drunk with some tequila
>we we're having some heavy kissing (that thing was really nice for me since i'm being alone for almost 6 years). This was repetitve all night long.
>she wants to visit some hot springs near my city, we travel.
>she's distant as fuck, and only is talking with her cousin.

Also she's 4 years older than me, so what the fuck is going on?

I have a planned go to her city in 14 days, i was going to call her when i arrive at her city, it was planned as a surprise.

Should i keep with the idea of going to visit her? I need advice, my head is going to colapse or something, this feeling is weird as fuck.

I had a weird feeling on my chest, i don't know what i'm going to do.
>>
>>18601132
It's obviously easier said than done, but if you're looking for a way to tell him that, just tell him what you just told anon. That it was a sexually curious time for all of you and it doesn't represent your feelings on the subject now.

Like i said, easier said than done. But at least you'll have an idea of what you want to say.
>>
>>18601132
It's understandable that you are nervous because from outsider's perspective it might look slutty or questionable. But we are talking about your bf here - he should understand your reasons for participating in this thing, and it shouldn't hinder his trust towards you or w/e. If you feel really serious about this guy, I'd say trust in his ability to understand this situation and empathy and tell him.
>>
>>18600221
get fucking tanked my dude
>>
Someday you are going to leave me for a woman who has made something of herself and has no children. And I will go back to the shithole where we started, and I will have to stay there forever.
>>
Lmfao all my life I wanted to be attractive. I put so much weight on it. Now that I've grown up, I've achieved that but it means almost nothing to me now since other real problems have transpired.

I get a lot of attention from girls. But now, the only person I have ever cared for, the one I found comfort with when I felt ugly, the one who gave me confidence when I had none has left me and I can't get over it. I can't get over the whole situation, it's not even like I want her back. I know that wouldn't make me happy. My heart is broken and there's nothing I can do about it. It's been over a year. This feels bad.

I just miss who she was so fucking much. How do you fix something a person caused when that person can't fix it? Maybe who she was could have. That person doesn't exist anymore.

No other person could help me. I refuse to sleep with another person and there has been not been one girl that has interested me, let alone as much as her.

And this isn't anything new I started doing since we split. I've always been like this, she was just the only one who I liked enough to let in.
>>
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In a relationship for 4 years, have a 2 year old together, lived with each other since we pretty much met, but the love isn't there any more, i honestly feel nothing, and I'm sure she does too just trying to stay together for the kid but it's really taking its toll on me especially because I've been crushing hard on a girl I work with it just fucking sucks.
>>
I'd be embarrassed this is honest to god sad
>>
>>18601245
Have you read up on how to spark love again? It's really quite simple most if the time. It's usually a matter of changing perspective and finding the love in her you used to see that you're now ignoring. I read this book called The Way of the Superior Man and as fucking cringy as it was, for real it was bad, it was just as much helpful. It might give you a new take on your relationship.
>>
>>18601275

Honestly, as shitty as it is, i don't want this relationship anymore, it was fun for the first couple of years and it's just been a shit show for the last two, there is litealy no love or connection between us two and I don't really care to try.
>>
>>18601281
God damn. Don't stay for the kid then. You two fucked up and now this little spawn is going to be miserable because of you so no reason to make two more lives unhappy. Split while the kid doesn't know what's going on. It'll be better for him that way. He doesn't want to grow up with two miserable parents anyways.
>>
These meds give me a suit of armor.
>>
>>18601215
>>18601216

Alright. I'm going to tell him today.
>>
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Does anyone here have any advice for coping with depression? It has been hitting me really hard lately and I don't have anyone I can talk to about it. I just want to make it through one day without breaking down crying and contemplating suicide. It's so overwhelming and I don't know what to do.
>>
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I go to the local market and buy a box of condoms once a month. I walk through the store with them and all the way home with them in my hand so people can see what I bought. I use them to have sex with my onahole though so I don't have to clean as much. Is it weird that I get a rush off of making random people believe I'm having sex?
>>
THis girl i was seeing isn't responding to my messages anymore. I've seen her 3 times and we had sex twice. She lives about 1.5 hours away.
She's online on FB and I see her post statuses and what not but she doesnt respond to me when she used to. i havent talked to her since july 31st. It's tearing me apart and pissing me off because whenever I was with her we really clicked and got along so great. We share the same views on many different topics.
She does have kids and she uses Facebook on a big tv screen in her living room so my theory is maybe she doesn't respond when her kids are around? Idk. I'm so fucking sad over this. I wish she would just block me or tell me straight up that she not interested so I can get some closure . WHY THE FUCK DO WOMEN DO THIS SHIT.
>>
>>18601607
>Women
>Implying men don't ghost too
>>
I want to get a gf, but I need to get my shit straight first. Patience is a virtue, but I don't have any.
>>
>>18600654
I try. She's been so distracted because she's at this big family reunion thing, and it's so hard to connect with her just over the phone. I have this problem a lot. She has major ADHD, so that could be part of it. Anyways, yeah, I've tried and it doesn't seem to work too well.

>>18600862
BH
>>
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I was bitter about other people getting sex and significant others where I can't but then I realized the ones they're with aren't worth it and it's all good.
>>
>>18599806
Update

Goddamn it we're supposed to have left in 30 minutes and she just texts me that she isnt feeling well. I dont think she's dodging it though because she said she'll come in an hour or 2 if the medicine she took kicks in, and that she'd hate to reschedule on me. I've been looking forward to today for the last week now and shit man this just had to happen. I'm pretty sure she isnt flaking on me, but fuck I was this close to getting the day I wanted and then this happens.
>>
If women didn't have vaginas I would be perfectly fine with going through my entire life without contact with a single one.
>>
I want to commit suicide but I am too much of a pussy to do it. How do I build courage to kill myself?
>>
>>18599002
You fucking whore.
>>
I'm terribly afraid of rejection, the thought of being rejected is not the problem, it's the idea of an unwritten rule where I have to react or comment on it, on "losing" or being left out. I guess I'm afraid to show weakness because I don't know what else is there for me that being stoic, I don't have anything to be proud of.
>>
Anon,

You used to be the most caring and loving person I ever met, I was cool and rational an you were empathetic and loving. We have known each other for seven years, and the four years of that we were a couple were the happiest moments of my life, but you fucked it up. You monkey branched me six months ago and then cheated on me with one of your new friends, you the person who used to get extremely upset when random people felt sad or got hurt did that. What happened? You always were a tiny bit selfish, but you never were uncaring. I guess people change. You want to be my friend still, yet you have become totally indifferent to how I feel and you refuse to acknowledge your mistake because, "it felt good." When children are molested they feel guilty because it feels good, when a junkie shoots up heroin it too feels good. Doing what is right is not always the same as what feels good.

Anon, when someone who is professionally diagnosed with a medical condition that causes empathy issues calls your ass out for becoming an uncaring, unfeeling piece of garbage you should know you fucked up. But you don't because you are emotionally immature and always were. Your goal was to focus on yourself lately, unfortunately you mistook focusing on yourself and improving yourself to mean become cruel. You went from one extreme where you would never looked after yourself or cared about yourself, to the other.

(1/2)
>>
>>18601885

The worst part is I am not mad at you I actually want you to become a better person, but I can't be this blunt and criticize you. If I did you would take it as me hating you and use it to self-flagellate over how shit you think you are. You fucked up massively, if you want to be my friend you need to start acting like my friend and own up to your mistakes instead of distracting yourself day and night to avoid thinking about the things that upset you. You are not the victim, not at all. Grow up and become the better person you said you wanted to be.

I still love and care about you anon, and maybe in the future I would go out with you again. But you need to do better.

Me.
(2/2)
>>
>>18599076
I know what you mean.
> Drive Uber on the weekends
> Take grill home from bar
> Girl asks me to help her upstairs to her apartment
> Unlock door for her
> She plants a stiletto in my ass from behind
> I fall into apartment
> She picks up keys
> Slaps me hard with keys in hand
> Fucking men
> Uh Igotta go lady
> World turns red with pain
> She hits me point blank with mace
> Screaming, clutching at eyes
> She kicks me in the nuts
> Double over with pain
> She's yelling something about her ex
> Undoes my pants, roughly pulls them down
> Whatthefuck
> Feel two metal spikes against my nuts
> 2000 volts of nut busting pain.jpg
> Piss myself, start crying like a baby
> She gets pissed because I wet her rug, pushes me out apartment door
> Blind, pants around ankles, I fall down stairs, hobble to car, and cry until vision clears
> She tips me $20 on the site
Fuck this. I'm going to Lyft.
>>
I think I'm going to forgive him. Not because what he did is ok. But because I'm tired of holding onto this pain. I'm going to be nice to him because it hurts me not to, even if he doesn't deserve it.
>>
You snobby littke prick, you were bitching at the wrong person. I get it, you don't care, you don't know, anx you don't wanna know. I don't need you kicking me in the nuts though. You have no idea how stressful my job is. You have no idra what my day has been like. You have no idea what that asshole being late did to my day. Fuck off. If you call my boss aboit this I'm going to personally unplug your head from your asshole.
>>
>>18601817
I really like your vagina tattoo on your upper back
>>
>>18598909
Oh god I've come to terms with the fact that I have to break up with my gf (fiance if you take verbal acknowledgement/agreements into account). Except I have no goddamn idea how or when to do it.
I've told my friends and family that I plan to marry her, except now that I know that's an impossibility it's just gonna make me look like a stupid asshole when we break up.
Moreover I know that it's going to be REALLY hard on her: she's not someone who thrives on her own, she needs me as a rock for stability and help and she freely admits this herself. She is finishing her Master's in september and starting her PhD immediately after; only problem is that this Master's almost ruined her, and three years of a more heavy workload/responsibility is going to be a nightmare, without me I'm genuinely scared that she might fuck up her PhD or even kill herself. But there's no way I can stay with her three more years, I want to move on right now but I don't have the balls or the stomach to straight up dump her.

What the fucking fuck do I do? I'm bricking myself.
>>
>>18598959
You sound like a good person. Kindly allow me to project. And thanks in advance.
I hope you've learnt to be forgiving, it's truly freeing once you hold no resentments. It's an on going struggle for me, but I believe we're better than we were. I hardly ever come here but it seems like everytime I do, I find you. There's no need to go away, by the way. It may be a little egocentric of me, but I'm really not worth the hassle of going somewhere else.
May I admit something rather personal? Every once in a while, I hope one day you'll drop me a message, kinda like this one.
>>
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>be an uni lecturer
>meet abused girl student
>rescue her form psycho
>beat psycho's ass
>she loves me now
>we fuck
>her mother gets cancer, girl has bipolar and alcohol abuse problems, shit turns into nightmare fast
>girl appears to be manipulative abusive bitch
>manipulates me to get engaged while already fucking on side
>I find out 2 months before wedding
>break up
>go hardcore red pill, basically male nazi
>meet other girl at workplace
>there is something about her that I'm attracted to
>she's in relationship
>decide to use her, dump and destroy her relationship just for fun
>she's really nice
>during the seduction process I begin to care
>no longer sure about my intentions
>she gets to know my story
>I hit openly on her because 0 fucks, she's angry at me but not for long
>tell her bf openly that I want to fuck her while she's also present, still 0 fucks, bf acting 100% beta on that
>she still hangs out with me despite I'm open that I tried to get her to cheat and I was really close (she had her weak moments)
>everybody at workplace know about that, they still like me and hang out with me because I give 0 fucks
>cry in the bathroom because people are just too nice while I'm being a dick
>swallow it up and keep being a dick

story of my life so far, just wanted to rant
>>
You broke my heart but I still want you
>>
So fucking pissed today.

Had an incident at work 2 weeks ago. The person I was suppose to shadow and learn from was bullying and insulting me. I complained to HR on a Wednesday and had a meeting on Thursday. After the meeting, HR told me to clean out my locker just in case. She said she would call me on Friday but she didn't. Didn't work the Thursday or Friday.

She called me the following Tuesday. Asked me to work next week and told me the guy I don't like won't be there anymore. I said sure. Then she said she would call again by Friday and email me that week but she didn't. Didn't work at all last week.

There was a civic holiday yesterday so I went in today. My punch card was missing and someone already took my locker. Saw HR in the hallway and she told me I wasn't scheduled to work this week. I mentioned the call from last week. She said she knows but the manager didn't schedule me.

I just left. Gonna call tomorrow and fucking quit that piece of shit place.
>>
>>18602016
Life is simply unfair.
>>
>>18602011
You're a J, too?
>>
I fucking hate my Ivy League old money douchebag roommate. I don't know why this prick is living in this shitty house given that his parents are fucking loaded and buy all his shit anyways. I'm close to breaking his fucking jaw next time he tells me to turn down my music at 8:45 on a Saturday.
>>
>>18602091
Fuck you it wasn't even loud
>>
>>18601569
Meditation and mindfulness exercises.
It has helped me quite a bit. We feel depression hit hard because it's our own emotions stabbing us in the bad. We question every moment of happiness we get and make ourselves feel even worse.
Trust me I been there. It's a constant drain. It's not really about going outside and doing shit, it's kinda like your brain has no muscle, it's not strong enough to hold back those weak ass feelings. So you have to train it up a bit. Get your brain swole and center yourself.

The first step, when you feel really bad, try to split yourself from those emotions. Look at yourself as if you were one of us. Like if you so were a stranger to yourself. Ask yourself why you feel that way? Do those feelings define you as a person? What causes them to happen?
Depression is harder on us because we give it control of us.

Never forget to relax in those times. Breathe my dude. When you fall into that pit, understand that it's only momentary. That with a little rest and mental exercise you'll be back outside of the hole and you'll continue moving forward. Each time that you fall you'll be able to pull yourself out faster, you'll be able to see it coming, and be able to prepare for the pit.

I still get bad days, everyone does, but after years of work and patience i got off the meds. And my bad times last much less, the best part is that there's a bit of light whenever I fall into the pit, I feel a bit more even when I become depressed.
It's kinda nice.

If it's something else, I recommend looking into free mental health clinics. Maybe you are imbalanced.
It's hard, very much so, but with some work and time you can learn to feel the warmth of the sun again.

It's really nice.
>>
>>18602109
>at 8:45
>big deal
virgin detected
>>
>>18602080
In a sense.
>>
I bet she stands me up
>>
I met the perfect girl, and I think I blew it. She was stunningly beautiful, had many of the same nerdy interests as me, had a great worldview and personality. Being my second date in over 10 years, however, I didn't have the experience at making myself look good, talking to girls, didn't have the bravery to initiate touch or anything along those lines.

We talked for over 2 hours, there wasn't an awkward moment at all. I let her talk more than I did but I still had plenty to say and we agreed on many things. But I didn't do anything to flirt, because I didn't have the skills.

She hasn't replied to my invitation to a second date. I'm really depressed, I can't help but think I've missed *the* one and that if I'd been less of a chicken in my earlier years I could have done better.
>>
>inb4 pussy baby crying

I thought I was getting hang of mental peace but then I snapped at my friend just for not laughing at my joke and asking few questions like "how was that supposed to be funny?"

I shouldn't expect full mental control from myself all the time but I still feel embarrassed I lost it while he remained calm.

My friend said "ok dude I was just asking! We should accept that one likes the joke and one doesn't." but I feel he wasn't 'just asking' in the first place: I felt like he's questions were more rhetorical like "was that supposed to be funny?" kinda way... But was it just me projecting some insecurities of my intelligence into what he said or is he trying to make his actions look better? Or both?

He also told me that I should take control of my feelings and that I shouldn't let what others say affect on my feelings. This bothers me. I feel like he doesn't act like he really believes that...

He has recently lost his cool over almost identical thing as I did this time. I understand it shouldn't really matter how the person who gives you advice acts but I just feel like he conveniently talks about infinite patience only when others should have it... But I guess no one can give themselves advice?

Then he apologized in the end. But if you really think everyone should be able to control their feelings why would you care what you say...?
And in the middle of the argument I even asked him should people be able to insult others in whatever way they want and he said no... How does that fit together with controlling your own feelings? Is the total control of your mind just the maximum and normal humans aren't expected to have it? Then why did he tell me I should just do it like it was nothing?
>>
>>18599758
A place of pure anominity or not, that takes a lot of will to admit to yourself when youve fucked up. Especially when its in the means of admiting it to others. Someone whose treuly scum would continue to justify it to themselves and never acknowledge it to its fullest. Reach out to someone. Weather for an act or not, there are people who care about you. If they truely do, they will listen, and they will do whatever they can to help.
>>
>>18598909
Alright so I dated this super depressed girl and it kinda rubbed off on me when she dumped me
I don't want to give the details here but it was over a text out of the blue

I became really confused and sad
I put a knife to my heart one day
Told her I did that


I really fucking regret doing it and most importantly regret telling her
And I wish I could take that back

I know it was dumb and I'll never even consider that shit again
But I regret it
>>
dont be offended or sad or upset i am not talking to you because i really havent talked to anyone (outside of work) all week long.

i dont want to use my medications as a crutch but im just back to the mellowed-out quiet introvert again thats focused.

Im back in school, starting a new job, and just hope you understand that.
>>
>>18602128
Same. In a sense
>>
>>18602283
We are Jay buddies.
>>
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GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD YOU BICYCLE DYKES!

YOU FAGGOTS MAKE CARS GO WAY TO SLOW WHEN YOU GO IN FRONT OF US

WE HAVE PLACES TO GO YOU SLOTHS
>>
This guy started at a job 2 days ago after 1.5yrs neetlife. At one point i reached out in anonymity in this very thread, asking for advice on how to find motivation to live. Work is great btw. Moved to warmer climates on a beautiful island and i'm in training for this new job. From nothing to something anons
>>
>>18600000
Checked
>>
>>18602163
Well this was a surprise. Literally 15 minutes after posting this she replied after 3 days of silence. Not free this weekend, but next one she is (she works in a remote location so is only near the city on weekends).

Still not convinced I'm not in the friend zone - she mentioned that she was more interested in friendship for now because of a recent breakup, but I don't think she was lying when she said that because she also disabled her dating site account. Now to work extra hard over the next couple weeks and yet less fat and more fit. Worst case scenario she doesn't like me and I'm more attractive to other girls.
>>
I got a crush on a girl with asperger almost two month ago and we made out for a few days. I didn't mean anything to her. Now I don't see her anymore, she lives quite far away. I don't want to whine about it, but it hurts. I feel lonely, frustrated and can't get her out of my head.
>>
>>18602361
I am so fucking disgusted by myself for posting this. Boo-hoo, nobody loves me! FUCK!
>>
>>18600874
Could i have your initials?
>>
>>18598909
Here I am, drunk again. Well done old bean, well done indeed. We're supposed to be knocking this old shit on the head, but at least you're doing everything else well. Stay cool and calm don't make any dumb decisions on twitter or elsewhere and you might just make it you lovable fuck. Good night boy
>>
>have gf a year
>everything is great
>her friends convince her to try coke
>now she does it every weekend but insists she isnt hooked
What the fuck? Why can't anything ever go well for me?
>>
I had lunch with my ex today. We separated amicably a few months ago and hadn't seen each other since I moved out. I thought it would have been cathartic and I could just cleanly transition away from everything, but as soon as I saw her I was trembling like crazy out of nervousness. And when we were talking we didn't even talk about what happened, we just got back into laughing and poking fun at each other. I know she doesn't love me anymore, and I can't help but love her still. She's the most beautiful person I've ever met and she's the only person I can talk to for hours without feeling exhausted and stressed. It felt like I had my best friend back.
I would do anything to be with her again. Why am I such a pathetic piece of shit?
>>
>>18602400
She's dealing with shit my friend. It may just be a phase. I have friends who started on the drug scene out of nowhere, blow, speed, MD etc. Scared me, but I still with them and it turned out to just be a phase. She might be the same give it a little time, monitor her and see how it goes.
>>
>>18602407
She wants to go to a rave with them and try ecstasy. Also they're mostly guy friends. I'm a little worried. Am I just being a faggot or should I tell her I'm not okay with that?
>>
>>18602407
>>18602410
Also her friends have always been into the drug/club scene, just not her
>>
>>18602403
You're not a pathetic piece of shit. You're a man who had his heart broken. You're going through a very strenuous time and you need, above all else, to be kind to yourself at this point. What you're feeling is 100% natural and you need to come through it in your own way. I have no doubt you will, best of luck anon
>>
I wish I could hug you just once. Why did we have to meet?
>>
>>18602414
Thank you anon, I needed to hear that.
>>
>>18602410
Why don't you go with her? Do you know any of them people? I wouldn't be comfortable with that myself, not going to lie. Did she ask you to go? She should have at least. If the options there I would go too and try to have fun. Minus drugs obviously if that isn't your scene. I mean these people could just be her long term friends. Depends who they are and what their intentions are. Too many variables for me to properly say
>>
>>18602420
Anytime brother, be good to yourself.
>>
>end short term relationship because moving away
>obviously thought about this and although I liked her it would end in shit
>month later the only "friend" who knew about us decides to be a cunt and go for her
So in the end I end up pissed with two people trying to justify being pieces of shit
What do /adv/, great friend went in knowing full well it would fuck me up...
>>
>>18602424
It's in another city and I can't get off work. I trust her but I don't really trust them. It just feels like a great opportunity for them to fingerbang her or whatever while she's rolling off her mind without her really being aware of it
>>
>>18602410
Ecstasy makes you horny as shit. Why should you be okay with her purposefully becoming horny as shit around a bunch of her guy friends?

I think you're right to be a bit sketched out
>>
>>18602428
How long does she know these friends? Are they new people she only got into while on the drug scene, or are they old /school friends? Also how intelligent do you think your gf is? I don't mean this in a condescending manner, I'm just trying to assess the situation. She could likely go to a rave and have a blast and not cheat at all or otherwise get mixed up in dodgy situations. I don't know her though. What does your heart, and not your anxiety tell you?
>>
>>18602384
Don't be disgusted by yourself lol, it's only natural to feel bad over what happened. You liked her, and she's gone. Thats shit. You will get over it in time, just be good to yourself and don't try to say you're dumb or weak for experiencing emotion. Quite the contrary, it makes you strong
>>
>>18602439
They're recent friends she met this year in college.

She's very smart. But I'm worrying they're trying to take advantage of her and that she's being naive because she doesn't have many other friends.

One of them in particular always flirts with her but always doubles back saying it doesn't mean anything.
>>
>>18602460
Also I should mention that these friends got her into the drug/party scene to begin with
>>
>>18602460
OK, well I wouldn't be comfortable with that myself. You should talk to her and tell her how you feel, and why these things make you feel this way. Nobody else should ever flirt with your girlfriend, not even as a joke. Unless they're long term friends and it's understood. Bottom line is you shouldn't ever feel uncomfortable the way you do over situations like this. And from what you have told me, I would be uncomfortable too. Talk to her and explain it all. Ask how she would feel if the situation was reversed, if she has any respect she will have to agree and accommodate you. You deserve as much.
>>
>>18602471
YES, God damn, I'll take you home. Let's go.
>>
>>18602482
He always interlocks fingers with hers and grabs her thigh a lot and rests his head on her shoulder. She says she thinks he's just joking but it pisses me off.

I guess I'll talk to her about it. I won't tell her not to go, just tell her to be aware of how they try make her act while she's there I guess
>>
>>18602498
Whatever you deem best, definitely talk to her about it anyway. I don't want to make you suspicious or feel bad, I really don't but I don't think a man alive would be entirely comfortable with that situation. Any chance this dudes gay? Otherwise he legit needs to be told off
>>
>>18602508
>Any chance this dudes gay?
Nope, he brings a different girl around every week
>>
>>18602515
Handle it as you see best anon, I would personally tell her I'm terrible uncomfortable with him in general touching her, and about this whole trip. You don't have to put up with this garbage. I hope it works out for the best for you
>>
I needed that hard dose of reality.

It's just now I need to focus at not try to ignore it, I have to embrace it.
>>
>>18602531
Ehh, yeah, sure. Why not!
>>
My gf is a virgin from a religious background and wants to get closer but she has a phobia of "things being in her". No making out, no sex, no licking brownie batter off her own fingers when we bake, not even tampons (she uses a pad). She has difficulty swallowing pills for headaches/cramps/allergies/etc. She understands how unusual this is and wants to move past it but neither of us know how since she's so uncomfortable with everything
>>
I realize that I don't know how to ask for emotional support from my real life friends. It's not a matter of not being able to--as my very close friends are very open with me and vice versa--but when I actually need support, I don't know how to approach it.
>>
>>18602471
You realize momiji is a wolf girl, right? Not a dumb white cat.
>>
Modern society keeps trying to take my romantic qualities away from me. I won't stifle my feelings anymore in hope of seeming less crazy and eager. I want to love someone with all my heart, to be crazy about someone, to spend all my time with someone and talk to them about the most intimate things.
>>
>>18602545
Nah that's something we already talked about. I opened up about all the shit that happened to me as a kid to get her talking and she's never been touched by anyone. She's 22, I'm her first bf, and she's learning about herself as we go but she's hitting those walls she's never encountered before and doesn't know how to deal with them
>>
>>18602539
Start with licking her clit
Youre not really inserting anything if you stay focused on her clit rather than the vag itself

Then once she really gets into it you can slowly get a finger into her gspot when she's right on the edge
>>
>>18602283
Just so you know, I don't resent you for what happened. At the same time, while it ultimately doesn't matter, I hope you never go through that from my perspective and that you understand why it had to be done.
>>
>>18602606
She's uncomfortable with that. I've told her I expect nothing in return even if she doesn't get off but she can't seem to let go and doesn't want me to do that when she can't return the favor. She's tried to masturbate a few times but felt dirty doing it and stopped after the initial "you're about to cum" tingles
>>
Take a break from playing path of exile and call me, I love you.
>>
chris, i'm the one that stole your gameboy color and your copy of pokemon yellow when we were in elementary school
i know you thought you lost it but i took it, i'm sorry. i still feel guilty about it
>>
>>18602650
She's told me her darkest secrets and also has no issues with being open with me, which is how we got to this point to begin with. We're going to do premarital counseling because I come from a fucked up family and we're thinking of getting hitched so maybe something will come up there
>>
I wish you knew how much I want you, how good i would be to you. I think you can imagine and that's why you're still around. I wish I could show you how much I love you.
>>
>be loser
>trying to get better though
>manage to get a date off okcupid
>messages are bit off but assume its because English isn't there first language.
>first date in years really don't expect more then working on getting over meeting single people jitters.
>show up early.
>wait half an hour after agreed time before ordering.
>ends up being a no show leave a bit over an hour since agreed time.
>get home find message about their wasting time.

So it was either horribly unlikely events that we missed each other for over an hour or a bot/troll.

fuck me.
>>
>>18602804
Tell me
>>
You are the most disgusting person I have ever met. Every last cell that makes up your pathetic body is filled with poison. Hate is too endearing a term for you, and if I never saw you again, it would be too soon. You and you alone ruined your life, your family, your career, and everything else you have touched. Your endless martyrdom is a prison of your own creation and I hope you live a nice long life so you can experience every second you deserve. Thanks for nothing and leave me the fuck alone.
>>
>>18599544
Kys my man.
>>
>>18602901
>>18602901
>Hate
>Martyrdom
I am curious what happened, most people who would be classed as martyrs sacrifice everything for someone they care about or for a goal they have even if it destroys them. Those people are hard to hate, but real easy to feel sorry for. What did he/she do?
>>
I saw you at work today Princess. You look like you're doing better since the accident, I wanted to walk up and talk to you but you seem busy so I left. I kind of regret not talking to you now. I suppose it would be better to regret doing it then to wonder what would have happened if I did. I wish I could talk to you and hang out as friends again. I know it ended unpleasantly but I haven't stopped thinking about you over the years. I still wonder how is my Princess faring. It makes me smile to see you getting into cosplay. I can't remember ever seeing you smile that broadly. I'm glad you're doing something that makes you happy and I hope you are happy. If any chance you see this,which i doubt it, know I still love you & care deeply for you, my Princess

<insert hugz here>
>>
>>18602804
Just say it, please.
>>
I'm not really sure how to mentally reconcile the fact that less than a year ago I was shaving my legs, dressing as a girl, and posting pictures and videos on the internet for attention
On the one hand it's really embarrassing to even think about, and little terrifying in case anyone figures out that I did it, but it's also a little satisfying knowing that a non trivial amount of people probably jacked off to the thought of me.

Not really sure where this line of thought is going but it had to be said
>>
sometimes i don't know whether it's my fault or your fault
but i hope those memories ingrained from us having fun together don't get in the way
don't contact me ever again until you've cut ties with those backstabbing cunts
>>
>>18598909
Morgan I wish I could turn back the clock to be with you
I want what we had
I miss you
And I wish I could say you missed me
>>
I should be happy for her. I should be moving on with my life.

But everytime I hear that my friends saw her and her new boyfriend together. How happy she is. How she's saying that this is how love is suppose to be. Hearing all this. It makes me want her to fail. It makes me want that guy to break up and hurt her. Hurt her like she hurt me. I want him to realize how much of a controlling, uncaring, immature bitch she is and break up with her.

I don't want to think these things.
I want to wish her the best in life because I believe she deserves it. We're both hurt people who have been through a lot. I believe we both deserve happiness.

I just want to forget her but no how many times I hear these things. No matter how many times I say I'm over her. No matter how many girls I try to talk to. I just can't get these terrible hateful thoughts out of my head.
>>
When it's all said and done, any success I see in life is only possible because we live in a society that is generally forgiving and willing to help as long as you put in the work it takes to succeed. I'm very proud of my country for this, and I want that to continue. That's why I have a moral obligation to oppose political and economic justifications for selfishness. This country is stronger when we look out for our countrymen, and that means ensuring they have the resources and knowledge needed to succeed.
>>
I just had unprotected sex with some broad.

She said she was on birth control, but I'm worried about STDs now. Should I go shell out the money to get tested or wait until god forbid I have symptoms?

I am incredibly anxious about this. I dont have much money so I am hesitant to do a test as I know they can cost like 200 bucks for every STD.
>>
>>18603181
Continued

Something I forgot to mention was I got drunk one night and I even went so far as to send her a message on her social media under another account as the guise of my friend to rant at her. Telling her I deserve better, that everyone was right about her all this angry hateful shit.

I thought while I was hurt I was still happy for her somewhere deep down. But maybe its the other way. Maybe deep down I'm just a hateful asshole wanting her to fail.
>>
I never should've gone out with you today. I thought you'd be a better person and lover after rehab, but I can't get over the fact you cheated on me and now you say you've fucked dudes for money and drugs? Fuck you I'm already a failure, I'm not spending anymore time trying to support you just so you can reveal another horrible lie you've kept from me because you know I'm the best partner you'll ever get and you don't want me to "remember you like that"

Fuck you, I'm too good for you, whore
>>
If you expect me to apologize for earlier then you'll be waiting a life time. You ignore me, even though i did nothing wrong. You're just mad I called you out on your lies. So go have another temper tantrum by yourself while I sit here with a smile on my face. A weight has been lifted and if it ends bad so be it. I'm tired of trying to keep you in a good mood and enabling your bad choices by saying and doing nothing. Lol say good bye to that girl hunny. This is the start of a new me. My life has changed and i will embrace it. Wanna join me for the ride? That depends on you and your attitude. Either way my adventure is just beginning and I never look back. I need someone with energy who wants passion, adventure, danger and excitement. Someone whos not afraid to jump out of their comfort level and bare all to me. I don't know if you're able to do this. Everyday is the same. Every fight is the same. So fuck it. Time to rock the boat. Time for you to see what I'm capable of.
>>
Even after months since it's happened, the thought of my boyfriend cheating still occupies my mind often. He offered to allow me access to his email addresses whenever I want but I declined since I didn't want to come off as controlling and because he could still find away to cheat if he wanted. It's obviously something I'm still not 100% over though and I'm contemplating asking him to allow me access to his accounts whenever I want. Would that be a dick move?
>>
>>18603316
He cheated, so you have every right not to trust him. Personally, I'd say you should quit being a cuck and dump his ass. Once a cheater always a cheater.
>>
J,

All these years later I still have a tremendous amount of respect/love for you. I'll always wonder if you really understood what you meant to me while we were together. I hope something from "us" has remained with you, and not just gotten filed into the locked memory box. I know you didn't understand why or how I had so much emotion, but that was me bearing every inch of my heart to you.

I was so happy to hear you're successful and doing well. Not just happy--proud. Even thought it was hard on me to see you again as an acquaintance and not my girlfriend. I would have done anything for your happiness, and if that means my absence I'm willing to dealwithit.jpg.

The weirdest feelings come to me sometimes. I go through books or travel to places I know only you would appreciate. I think about you and hope you're smiling. I wonder if the infinite universe theory is correct and if there's one where we're still together.

The time we spent together was one of the best, most important parts of my life. I have to admit, though, that I sometimes wish it never happened. Because I have to live with knowing a person as amazing as you exists in the world and I lost her.

J
>>
Dear x
Your business idea is stupid, you made a fuck up on your education and Henry is disappointed. I hope you finally feels what it is to burn. To put it all on the line just to crash and burn in the end.

E
>>
>>18603274
What did he do, and what did you do? No offense but you sound manic as fuck.
>>
Hey love, fuck you.
Don't use the word maybe when the word no will suffice. This shit is wearing me thin, why should I be the one putting in all the effort. I need a break, fuck this.
>>
>>18602624
I have no idea what you're on about, anon
>>
I have feelings for one of my closest friends and he feels the same, but because he is practically in love with another friend of his, and my best friend has dated him in the past I know it won't work out. We agreed on staying friends.

I've been seeing a guy I've known since I moved to this state. He was my first friend here. I fell in love with him but we lost contact and I moved. But now we've been hanging out again. I can't tell if he's interested in me or he only wants to be friends. I don't know. He's the type of guy who wants to make others happy. He is genuine and so intellectual and a hard working individual. We have long talks about the universe and life and I want to kiss him again but I don't know where this is headed so I'll have to just go with it.

Another guy I met at a show is in a band guy #1 really likes and I'm not interested in him but he seems to be getting the wrong idea. He's been sending me really sexual things on that damn Sahara app and I'm uncomfortable. More than uncomfortable. I don't want to think about sex right now. Not interested in sex at all.

At these shows I go to there is a really cute bartender that I met about a week ago. I was so nervous but I decided to talk to him and he seems very sweet. We talked outside with a few other people and I caught him looking at me a few times but I can't tell whether he was checking me out. At first I thought he had to have been much older than me but I've just found out that he turns 20 today- so we are the same age. I don't know him very well but I'm more than interested in him. I found him on Facebook about a week ago and he seems very grounded. Family is important to him and I admire that a lot. I'm just too nervous to mention that I am interested.

The thing is, I don't think I'm attractive at all. I have an eating disorder and I have acne scars so I immediately think I am hideous any time I look at myself. So why are so many guys interested in me?
(1/2)
>>
>>18603421
(Cont.)
And why am I so interested in so many people? Is this what it means to "keep your options open" or am I just being a slut? I haven't slept with any of these people and I don't really want to have sex because I have been having a lot of flashbacks of my ex raping me and abusing me and manipulating me so I'm afraid that if any of these relationships progress, whichever one I choose they won't be happy because I can't satisfy them. I want to be happy and I genuinely don't understand why I have so many options? Does this mean I'm attractive? Do people genuinely enjoy my company or are they just looking to fuck?
>>
I'm starting grad school soon, but I'm terrible at building relationships and networking. I mean, I guess I'm not really bad at it since people tend to like me, but building strong connections that last is something I haven't really done much of. Gotta work on that. Maybe this is the opportunity I need to improve.
>>
>>18603428
(I left out a lot because it's 2am, I am manic and I have been living off of caffeine for 3 days but I promise this makes more sense than it seems)
>>
Most everything about you is determined by genetics. Your IQ, diseases, mental/physical disabilities, problems, social prowess, it's all highly impacted by genetics. Environment plays a role sure, but genetics trumps everything.

If you were dealt a shitty hand, tough luck. If you had a shitty father, you'll probably be a shitty father one day.

You will never escape it because we are just animals bound by biology, and then you will die and no one will remember you ever again in a few years.
>>
>>18603466
t. clueless pseudo-intellectual
>>
>>18603274
Try me.
>>
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truth is im not doing okay, S. not at all.

im back on my meds and it keeps me focused on work but i block out all emotions and just turn into a shell and really ramps my anxiety up ten-fold. Its just been one of those weeks riddled with getting scared and upset at ghosts again.

Its just hard to talk to people about those kinds of things because its either the same old suggestions or you're seen as a total nuerotic mess. I just want to go back to being the happy kid I was 7-8 months ago and just flip the switch back, I don't know when and where it all changed.

You're wanting to pursue other guys and hang with other people not because you dont want to commit, its just im the piece of shit thats pushing you out of my life for no reason and its gonna be hard for me to swallow that pill for a while
>>
>>18603477
t. faggot who contributes no thought provoking discussion and resorts to buzzwords to feel better about himself
>>
>>18603466
True
>>
I've got a long hard winter ahead of me. I just hope i can come out of the other side of it. I get that changing or improving is never an easy task, but sometimes I worry if I can even handle the load. Maybe I was supposed to be a useless welfare sack. But I can't think like that, can't let myself get eaten up by that thought. I want to be happy and even if by doing this I get a slim shot at it I'm not giving it up. Not yet, not ever.
>>
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>ugly
>weird
>socially retarded

Never stood a chance
>>
>>18603565
It's not a buzzword. That guy's post was pretty damn retarded, and it makes him look like a manchild with no understanding of the real world. Plus, that line of thinking is fucking dangerous.
>>
>>18603597
Walk me through your line of reasoing as to why the post is retarded.
>>
F.

You broke my heart many times. But i'm still a romantic idiot who still loves you. It's painful seeing you with other people, and it's painful knowing that nobody will be like you.

Our broke up made me go down into depression. I just haven't killed myself yet because I'm a fucking coward who is afraid of dying.

If I ever knew this would happen, I would never have sent you that first message.

G.
>>
I just want peace and quiet. No mental noise. I am so empty without you. Trying to stay friends. Thought it was good. Want you to be happy. Luckily you seem to be.

I can't seem to stop talking with you. It hurts so much.
Don't think I can love anyone else.
I would kill myself but it is cowardly.

Distracting thoughts.
Talking.

Oh how I wish I could be happy again.
With you.
The time ended.
>>
>>18600160
Shit. It is like this was writen for me.
>>
>>18603599
He thinks genetics is all that really matters. That is infantile, nonsensical thinking designed specifically to place certain people over others in a way that is direct and very personal. More importantly, it's not even how the real world works. You can have the best genes on the planet, but that doesn't mean you're automatically going to be an amazing human being with or without a proper upbringing. Will the cream rise to the top? Maybe, but that's not what this guy is saying.
>>
I know I don't deserve you or anyone. Thank you for the reminder.
>>
>>18603616
Don't be so hard on yourself anon.
>>
>>18603605
Reach out to them, you never know.
>>
>>18603610
What is your position then? How significant are genetics in terms of how someone comes to be and act in a certain way?

"The apple never falls far from the tree" is bogus to you then?
>>
>>18603620
No, reaching out wouldn't work. It's already been discussed. And the person I love is with someone else, messing with that would make everything worse.
>>
Started taking dulcolax again and I can't wait to get back into the gym this weekend. I really wish I could spot-reduce fat around my waist and just that area alone. Having a tummy doesn't bother me much at all since I already have very nice legs and a large bottom. Having a smaller waist would compliment my dfc but I can't convince myself to buy a four hundred dollar tailored corset to waist train in with all my other expenses. Aaaaaaaaaaa.
>>
>>18603624
>"The apple never falls far from the tree" is bogus to you then?
Of course not. The apple falling far from the tree does not have to refer plainly to genetics. Do you believe that parents only influence their children through genetics? Of course not. The experiences we have mold and define us, and there isn't a much more powerful influencer (except perhaps peer relationships after a certain age) than a person's parents.

My position is that genetics certainly plays a role, but that it's dangerous and incorrect to suggest that they are the main deciding factor in how we turn out.
>>
>>18603605
Going through the same thing. I don't know what to do. It's so painful.
>>
-

I shouldn't feel guilty. I really fucking shouldn't. You're a spoiled entitled whore who's made my life a living hell and ruined my mental health.

and yet, I still can't stop loving you. We haven't spoken in over a year now, but you're still in my head.

I need to meet more people.

C
>>
>>18603668
>C
You're supposed to be dead, Crow. Get back in your coffin.
>>
Anybody else feels like they got more retarded at talking/texting with age?
I dunno man, I used to be able to text with people back and forth for a long time, about various topics. I don't even know what I talked about to them so much. In real life it kinda worked too, although now I have way more buddies than before and I talk to them more often obviously so maybe I just run out of topics. Or something.
>>
I can't vent to you because I'm afraid of how sensitive you are. I was upset and I didn't want to dump it on you, that's why I was avoidant. I told you I loved you and you didn't say it back. I hardly slept last night.
>>
>>18603700
Same. My main issue with texting at my current age is that I genuinely don't care about what the other person is saying so I don't force myself to indulge on whatever they're talking about. In person I can force it a lot better and go on at length about bullshit but in texting...not so much
>>
>>18603985
Don't be cunty and project your bullshit onto other people and try to ask them first if you can vent. Insensitive asshole and/or bitch
>>
Ex and I had a decent relationship, had loads of arguements and broke up a few times. I screwed up and we broke up for good a couple weeks ago, we're still having sex though.
>>
>>18603999
They asked me and I said I was fine because talking about it when I was upset last time made them upset too. I can't win.
>>
youre pissing me off with your lying and the blue balls youre giving me.
>>
youre fucking ex is still in the picture and gaslighting doesnt work with me. i have an almost photographic memory and even if i didnt i can read the bullshit in your face, body,voice, everything. you get one more shot
>>
>>18604028
Sounds like they're an insensitive asshole, too. Tell them not to ask unless they genuinely don't mind hearing you vent, that it helps sort out your thoughts and emotions and sometimes you need a turn to hear yourself talk. If you want to add in that you'd appreciate their advice on what you're venting about that's a good way to go, too
>>
>>18604081
They don't deserve it and you're giving them what they want by allowing them into your life to continue doing what they said they weren't going to do anymore
>>
Not sure if anyone's still replying, but I got some things to get off my chest.

Things overall are pretty good right now. I go to therapy every couple weeks, and thats helped me come to terms with my disatisfaction in life, specifically with myself. I would call myself a failure a lot and put myself down constantly. I'm no super model, but I'm not bad looking. Just a little overweight, which I'm working on.

My relationship with my wife is great though. I can talk to her about most anything, aside from some really weird fetishes that best go unshared. I've tried sharing those with her but she's rather vanilla when it's all boiled down. We play a lot of WoW together and we're looking for a townhouse closer to where her job is moving. Not ready for kids yet, but soon enough.

The main thing that absolutely needs fixing is my job situation. I've been working in private security for 3 years. This is not a job I even remotely care about. This was just supposed to be a temporary thing until I got my degree, but I've found myself stuck in a rut. I grew complacent and now I fear the rejections of the job hunt again. I'm so unfulfilled it's ridiculous. My higher-ups have lied multiple times about when I would get raises. They don't give half a shit about me. I gotta get outta here. My brain is rotting in this place.

Other than the job and the occasional intrusive thought of killing myself, I'm pretty good. How you guys doing?
>>
What's going to happen when you're all used up, unable to move or look after yourself? Will you then realise I was genuine? I gave you many chances to be my boyfriend, you squandered every one of them. As much as I cared, I can't any more. I can't picture ever being close with you again, nor could I ever trust you after all the lies. I told you I recognized a compulsive liar, and that's all you are. Every good memory is now tainted, every moment seen in a fresh light.
>>
>>18604221
I'd like to hear your story if you would share it. I've experienced the same thing and I don't have anyone to bounce the experience off on because none of my friends have gone through that situation
>>
I fapped at the speed of light to one of your videos as soon as i could once i had left your place. I feel kinda weird about it but whatever, you've got a real nice bum.
>>
I've been awake for two hours and done nothing but cry and feel sad. I'm going to get dressed and go outside now and not come back inside until I finally learn to bunny hop on my mtb.
>>
>>18602095
Hey anon, I want you to know that I really sincerely appreciate you taking the time to write all this. Hearing these things from someone who knows how I am feeling and understands how hard it is is very helpful to me. I want to be able to see the light, to feel the warmth, to feel like I still have hope when I'm at my lowest. Trying to manage this is so mentally exhausting for me, but I intend to keep trying my best to improve myself. Thank you. I hope life treats you well.
>>
>>18602254
if you want that person to understand you should firstly let them know the thing that you wrote.
>>
I've lost all of my respect for you
>>
>>18604381
Why?
>>
>>18604221
I'm in a similar situation and feel this way too.
>>
>>18604398
>>18604221
What happened?
>>
>>18604381
Same.
>>
>>18604300
What happened?
>>
>>18604318
The fact that bothers you, friend you still have hope. The fact you had enough to even complain about, it's a good sign.
I have been this way for about 17 years now. Eventually I became apathetic, that's the end right there. You become so numb that you no longer things. I only knew flashes of emotions, and mostly I was filled with envy, I was envious of those that were sad, or even mad.
You have more than a chance to pull yourself out.
Never allow yourself to seek comfort and refuge from the pit. You can actually become addicted to that hole. You start to thinking it as safe. Don't.
Savor those days when you wake up and feel the warmth of the sun. When it's cold, bask in it's energy. When it's hot, enjoy the feeling of a nice cool breeze as it whisks away sweat. Cherish the times when you do feel okay and grab hold if them in the dark. Why? Sure they're memories, but they are fractions of goid times. Signs that you can feel, smell and see. They are moments when the voices of doubt and despair have no effect on you. They are proof that you can be okay.
You just have to work and learn how to make them last, and eventually they will. They last a little longer every time. When the clouds come around, you will learn that they are only temporary, and that like salt on a watermelon, it brings out the sweetness. Sadness, it brings out the happiness. You need both to truly feel alive.
It's exhausting, I know this too. Never be afraid to talk about it. Be it here, or with someone that you trust and is willing to listen. They don't have help directly, just having someone listen makes a world of difference.

Remember that sometimes it's okay to feel sad. It's a part of you, you just don't have to stay there for too long. When things get too heavy, breathe, and look at yourself and the situation around you. It may not be as big as you make it out to be. Breathe man you'll be alright.

Thanks. Enjoy the rain and the sun. When you see the good in both, it's not so bad.
>>
>>18604381
Same
>>
I'm going to be leaving a month from now. I wish it had been sooner but you all fucked it up, just like you always have.
>>
>>18604413
Got dumped months ago, only accepted it as truly over about a month ago. Riding my bike is the only thing that clears away the sadness and loneliness, but I really need a rest day because my muscles ache so much lately. Whenever I take a rest day, it's like all the feelings I've been out running catch up to me and I feel like shit.
>>
>18604693
>Placing the blame on everyone else besides yourself.

Typical.
>>
>>18604381
You never respected me anyway
>>
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>>18604300
>>18604791
Anon, while I applaud your gusto to move on. You can't bike away from your feelings. It's good that it clears your mind. As it should, but don't hold shit in. You gotta let those tears out, let out the pain and sadness. Find something else to take your rest day. Read or learn an instrument. Meditate on what happened and how you can make yourself stronger. Make your self into the person you want to be, not for others, for you. Focus on your happiness, and what experience you can gain from what happened. Biking is great, but do it because it it makes you feel good, not as an escape.
My suggestion as an outsider, take time for the pain to heal. Both physically and emotionally. Just like your muscles need rest, so does your mind. Take those feelings from yourself and inspect them. Not with the goal to remove them, but to learn from them. What are they? Why do you feel them? What do they effect you so? When we know a little more information about things around us, they are less painful and more understood.
Don't stop biking. Ride to feel the tearing of muscles, the burning of fat, the wind your face. Ride for enjoyment, for your happiness, but never to run away. Face everything head on and it will be less filled with fear.
That is what eats at you now, negativity. Of the unknown and loss. Take time for yourself, but don't fall into yourself. If that makes sense.

Keep biking. It's a fun activity. Also stay safe when you do. Water, helmet, and lights if you are riding at night. Good luck anon.
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