Does it annoy anyone else that "ghosting" and ignoring

I ghost a lot, but it's because I hate sending messages via text and prefer phone calls and voice chats.

It just feels less genuine

people tell me I left them on read all the time but like does every conversation have to last forever say something worth batting back if you want my attention you are words on a screen competing with my life

>>18594573
My read receipts are set to OFF.

yeah it makes me real fucking sad that ghosting is a thing that has a name now, it's like giving a name to something automatically creates a set of circumstances under which it's reasonable to perform it

>>18594573
Yes, it is sad that avoiding problems with escapism and distraction is considered the norm. If something hurts let it hurt, it hurts for a reason. If someone is bugging you be direct.

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>>18594573
>nowadays
In the past people weren't expected to be available all the time. Their answering speed hasn't changed but our expectations of it have.

>>18594655
>>18594586
I don't think you understand what ghosting means.

I was just ghosted. Flaked on our Friday date when I messaged her on Thursday. What's funny is she's the one who scheduled it.

I thought I was gonna take the high road and let it fly, but nah, it's a zero-sum game at this point so I left her one more (angry but concise) text conveying my disappointment.

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>>18594573

Annoys me.

I think it's part of a much larger phenomenon of emotional childishness plaguing our generation.

In general, I try to stay away from insipid social media/IM interaction completely.

Real-life-or-nothing is how I roll now

t. 24yo

>>18594573
No you dumb piece of shit
Sometimes people have lives and important shit to worry about.
You are worth fucking nothing and so people don't want to drop everything they are doing to talk to a loser like you.
Hur dur why won't she respond to my msgs. Cus you're boring and creepy probably and too stupid to realize that no one wants to talk to you. They talk to you because you are there and moving your cunt mouth.

>>18594915
lad... are you okay

>>18594915
Stop making yourself look retarded
You have no idea what ghosting is

>>18594906

>In general, I try to stay away from insipid social media/IM interaction completely.


I pretty much don't particiapte in social media anymore aside from following a few news feeds on twitter.

Having to keep up such a facade is very tiring, plus most of the time the facade is exposed the first few times you meet them IRL.

It's definitely better to text/IM to arrange plans only. Text convos are retarded

>>18594573
>leaving them on read

Oh no! Not leaving them on read! Anything but leaving them on read! Kill yourself, you fucking mentally ill retard, and take every other cretin like you that gives that much shit about social media with you.

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>>18594915

>You are worth fucking nothing

And there it is: Lack of basic decency or respect for other people.

Jesus, what is the world going to be like when we fully take over from X

>>18594938

Leaving one on read is not the issue, you fucking mongoloid

For me social media/whatever is only a means and only use it when the other person is geographycally (is that how you spell it) too far to talk in person, when something is too important to wait or as a tool to schedule an actual meeting. Also typing on a touchscreen is a pain in the ass, at the very least I need a keyboard if I have to type a lot.

>>18594932

Mein [emotionally mature] bruder!

>>18594959
>typing on a touchscreen is a pain in the ass

Agree.

>>18594948
>And there it is: Lack of basic decency or respect for other people.

>>18594906
>Annoys me.
>I think it's part of a much larger phenomenon of emotional childishness plaguing our generation.

THIS

here's a little story:
>meet a girl i've known for years
>never been close friends, but talk when we bump into each other (about once every few months). always friendly smalltalk
>say hi to her to have some smalltalk
>she looks at me once and then continues staring at her phone
>say something again, she's now completely ingoring me
>move on
obviously she had something more important going on (in her mind or on her phone, whatever).
i asked some (female) friends about their opinion on this and they all said she probably didn't want to talk, but also didn't want to hurt me by saying that she doesn't want to.
while i understand that completely, i still think that it's an extremly fucking childish thing to do. and it's the same as ghosting.
i can also understand that some girls ghost when they have guys going after them who bomb them with messages and just don't get the fucking hint (immature guys). those guys are obviously crazy!, so telling them directly that you're not interested might provoke a crazy and unwanted reaction, right?

i fucking hate how today, everbody is sooo afraid of getting their feelings hurt or hurting someone's feelings that it's become an excuse for almost everything, including a lack of basic decency.
it's like saying "i don't want to be responsible for my words and actions, so im always being subtle"
everyone should grow the fuck up

Instead of ghosting Try being a decent person and provide some closure.

Who knows maybe you can emotionally mature instead of running away from any sign of discomfort.

Oldfag
Had to literally google what ghosting is.
Realize I do that
It seems like a reasonable way to deal with annoying people.
There is people I don't wanna see, talk to or relate to in any way or form. They can still contact me through social media. What could it be a better way to avoid them than to avoid them?
Meh, but no explanation.
Most times explanations lead to a request for further explanations, denial and the continuation of an ill relationship.

>>18594990
>I do not want to talk to you, you annoy me
If you want them to fuck off forever.
>I am busy right now, I will talk to you later
If you want them to fuck off for a bit.

Basic communication isn't rocket science.

>>18594974
>those guys are obviously crazy!, so telling them directly that you're not interested might provoke a crazy and unwanted reaction, right?
Not really, they are just socially retarded. Telling them directly is probably the best thing a girl could do in that situation to make them fuck off and to make them not hurt themselves smashing their head against a wall.

>>18594994
Yeah, but you missed the "Leads to a request for further explanations, denial and the continuation of an ill relationship" part. Which is the key to it all.

>>18595023
If youre firm with your dismissal it shouldn't be a problem. You've done your deed by telling them why you don't want to speak to them.

You know instead of just disappearing like a cowardly child

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This the type of niggas you ghost

>>18595026
Anon, if you are firm they'll:

> refuse to understand
> deny all reasonable fact based explanations you provide
> demand further explanations
> continue denying evidence even if obvious evidence is provided

Yeah, some times when they fuck you bad there is no option but to tell them to fuck off and stay away from me. But some other times people are just annoying and fragile, why make their world crumble when you can just fade out?

>>18595036
Because closure is better than ignoring.

Some people don't know what they did wrong or why you're acting like that.

Imagine watching a movie not seeing the rest of it...

People.need to grow, by simply going away you're denying them closure and how to fix themselevss

>>18595037
Not really your job to help people you don't care about

>>18595036
>But some other times people are just annoying and fragile, why make their world crumble when you can just fade out?

And lead them to believe your are the one doing the wrong thing because you ghost them?
The world is full of people who should have their world crumbled, because nobody ever tells them how annoying they are and they believe everybody else is wrong.

>>18595038
Well of course it all comes down to decency and class.

I don't expect everyone to know it but it still annoys me how selfish some people are.

In reality, ghosting could be a blessing. The person is unable to respect the others decent. Like im taking about a dating or texting scenario not like >>18595031

>>18595037
Yeah, closure is good in some cases, I agree with that.

But other times closure is not an option. There is people that are just too crazy, or that don't listen, or that would react too wildly if you told them what a fuck up they really are. And it's not your responsibility to fix them, life is complicated enough to go help people that maybe are not that close to you.

Girls are extremely unreliable and flaky and do it all the time. It's annoying at worst and downright rude and insulting at best. I can never understand why she can't just say at least something instead of making you forever guess what went wrong.

Inb4 I get attacked by "you were being creepy and she was scared, it's all your fault", I was recently ghosted by my gf of 2 months. We were planning on another nice weekend trip together like the other times. Then suddenly I'm blocked everywhere. No warning, no logic, absolutely nothing. It really is sad that girls think this kind of behavior is ok.

My best friend ditched me earlier this year and I still haven't gotten over it

I want to scream at her

>>18595081
This is the type of ghosting I despise.

Like therrs no indication as to what the hell did I do wrong? Lol

Ghosting randoms is a ok of course

If you're getting defensive about your ghosting habit, you're likely a cunt. That's the reality. You lack tact and use the distance as a crutch to excuse yourself without fear, reasonable or not, of retaliation.

It's an anti-social behavior.

If you don't like something you're meant to communicate your feelings not fucking go AWOL

Would you like to hire someone like this? Someone who just ups and quits their job over something that can easily be fixed

These people will never amount to anything in life

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>>18595043
Yeah, I agree they may deserve their world crumbled, I just don't want to be the one to do it, I feel no obligation, I have limited energy and prefer to put it elsewhere.

It's as if mother nature provided us with this tool to isolate such individuals, so they can only relate with other cunts like them, which is something they totally deserve.

>>18595081
Maybe she is just retarded

wow, yall totally changed the meaning of ghosting
It used to mean walking right in front of someone you know and pretending you dont know/didnt see them although clearly that's not true
Because people think I do this to them, but I dont recognize their faces since I forget what they look like

As for this thread's ghosting, I try not to do it
I go through busy periods and then make up ones where I message everybody how they're doing/get back to them as soon as I can
My friends know Im a caveman and literally dont text at all during work and by the time I get back home, Im sometimes too tired to get back to them, going on for ages
But I still try

Chick ghosted me on our date
I texted her three days before and hasn't responded till now.

Am I justified in sending a 'you're a crappy person ' text to her?

I stop answering texts and phonecalls when the depression hits ;-;
Sometimes for months. Sorry. Not everyone hates you when they don't answer.

>>18595177
No. Just ignore her. Or write something light like flaky mcflakester. Don't act like you're upset or desperate. That's not attractive to women

>>18595031
That is the type of person you tell off. They clearly don't understand.

>>18595340
I Just made a sarcastic remark . I felt better but shit I sholdnt have to say that to feel better

>>18595177
When I come to a decision like this I ask myself, "What would you do in this situation if you had 5 other attractive women to fuck with?" In your situation, I wouldn't even think about her. I barely know her and she'd probably be low on my priority list compared to women I've known longer and already been with. You could call her out but what would that achieve? Maybe she'll feel a little guilty or like a piece of shit, but that won't change the fact that you're not getting in her pants. If anything it might make it an impossibility where being quiet would've at least kept the bridge up. Don't display any butthurt with girls you're getting to know man. Just delete her # and leave it. If she gets back in contact with you, ask "Who it this?"

>>18595386
I don't care about this one so I just took upon myself to make a remark.

Frankly I dont even care if she contacts me anymore

>>18594848
Oh my. An angry text. I bet it shook her to her core. That'll certainly teach her. Particularly as your opinion mattered so much to her, as evidenced by the fact she blew you off and ghosted you.

Here's the thing: Ghosting people has always been a thing. It's just 20 years ago, we didn't call it ghosting, and you didn't have instant access to everyone at all times, so it took a while to figure out someone was ignoring you.

>>18594573
Doesnt really happen to me so.. I dont know.

>hit it off with new girl at work
>get her number
>two days later say "Hey"
>never replied

>>18595459
And....?

>>18595462
I'm sad. wtf is there something i should do about it?

>>18595463
Shouldn't have started with such a boring line

>>18595470
the idea was to start lowkey, we talked a lot in real life already. please elaborate though.

>>18595477
Don't start with hi hey or equivalent.

>>18595459
Did you give her your number?

>>18595443
It was for me than for her
I felt some pressure relieve from saying it so whatever
should have kept my cool but you know I aint perfect

>>18595482
she had me in her contacts already lol, said that I was put in there automatically from the work group chat, even though nobody else was. She actually asked to work with me and we chatted up all day and then she wrote down her number for me. Like I said, we hit it off... I guess just try to act like I don't care when I roll into work this week?

>>18595478
it seemed fine to me. I knew what she was doing this weekend should I have been like "Hey hows paddleboarding"?

>>18595491
Maybe if she expects you to know like she told you herself that shes doing that. Not if you found out by overhearing her or looking at her facebook or something

>>18595498
idk, I guess I feel like I talked to her about her a lot in person and anymore interest in her life would be creepy at this point. and nah I don't have social medias. maybe she tried to look me up and found out I don't exist?

>>18595081
>I was recently ghosted by my gf of 2 months. We were planning on another nice weekend trip together like the other times. Then suddenly I'm blocked everywhere. No warning, no logic, absolutely nothing. It
See, this is exactly the type of shit I'm talking about. People ghost friends, significant others, and people they claim to care about all the time. What the fuck is wrong with people who do this shit?

Also, what I hate the most about this shit is the "I was busy/I didn't see your text" excuse. Bullshit. Everyone under the age of 25, esepecially women, are on their phones 24/7, and if not they check them several times daily. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule and days when you legitimately don't have your phone on you, but how often does that happen in today's world? Total crap.

>>18594974
This

I ghost a lot. I tell them I'm not worth it and they still try so I have no choice.

It's more rude to force your feelings on someone than to be ghosted imo.

>>18595666
>It's more rude to force your feelings on someone than to be ghosted imo.
No it isn't Satan. Ignoring someone is infuriating and about the rudest thing you can do.

>text a girl
>at one point you have nothing to say so simply reply ''haha''
>omg why isn't she replying to me?!

As for actual ghosting, shit sucks, but we live in a society where taking the easy road is usually what people do. ''Why should I tell him I don't want to talk to him and risk some backlash when I can simply ghost him and hope he takes the hint?''

>>18595636

Well, there's the other side to this. Even if people have their phones on them 24/7, it seems unreasonable to expect them to be reachable on demand 24/7. In the past you could just not answer your phone if it rang or respond to a letter when you had the time, but these days if you don't feel like talking to people you'll get called out on it immediately, because of instant messaging and social media. Ghosting someone and never responding to their messages makes anyone a cunt. But always expecting another person to be on your beck and call when you message them also makes you a cunt.

Sometimes I get busy and can't immediately answer every single text 20 seconds after I revive it

>>18595685
Well I'm not expecting anyone to reply immediately, but isn't ignoring somebody for a full day a little rude when I know you have your phone on you and just have to take the 20 seconds to respond?

>>18595704
Sometimes 20 seconds turns into a 30 minute commitment. My guess is the person doesn't want to have a conversation at that time and feels like they would be pulled into one, or obligated to have one if they reply, so they don't.

>>18595704

At least in my books a day isn't that long a time to take off messaging and people. Two maybe, three definitely, but fuck, anyone should be allowed a day off every once in awhile. Seems sorta clingy to expect a daily response from anyone, unless it's your mum or kid or something like that. But I suppose this is one of those opinion things.

>>18595714
I would agree with that if people actually took days off from their phones, but very few people actually do.

>>18595723

So what if they browse their phone or even read their messages? I wouldn't demand someone to respond to my stupid ass messages just because of it. They'll get back to me when they've the time and interest to do so. If they never do, then they're a cunt and that's fine, I probably wouldn't want to hear from them anyhow. You seem to assume that having a phone with them makes them obligated to react to it too. Well, I disagree and that is that. Some basic phone politeness goes both ways.

>>18595733
>You seem to assume that having a phone with them makes them obligated to react to it too.
No, but I assume that if we're friends or we talk then you're obligated to respond to me if you want to consider yourself a decent human being.

>>18595745
> I'm stuck In my turned over car
Better text my friend back before calling ems

>>18595763
Yeah bro because that bitch that won't text back is probably just got in a car crash

>>18595745
>if we're friends or we talk then you're obligated to respond to me

Yeah, that just sounds clingy.

>>18594573
>Does it annoy anyone else that "ghosting" and ignoring people/leaving them on read is seen as socially acceptable nowadays? It happens all the time and everybody does it. It seems really rude and arrogant to me. Am I just being insecure or does this piss anyone else off?


you're not entitled to anyone else's time. You have no right to be responded to by anyone, your mom, your gf, etc.

Maybe they're complete cunts for not doing it, maybe they've got other reasons going on in their life and they're too busy or depressed or whatever.

>>18595779
Right so how about ghosting/standing me up. My time was wasted. Where's my compensation?

It's selfish and childlike. Just tell them you won't make it. I'll take a shitty excuse over silence anyway

>>18594573
It makes me sad and sometimes angry. I think ghosting happens because people lack of empathy. I mean, people does not take into consideration other's feelings? I would feel like crap, restless and wondering what happened if I get ghosted so I dont do it.

Furthermore I get angry when I see other girls doing it cause then I see them on facebook complaining about the "heartless" men lol

>>18595777
>Hey I am busy at the moment I will talk to you later.
It isn't hard.

>>18595809
literally not listening

>>18595779
said:
>you're not entitled to anyone else's time. You have no right to be responded to by anyone

That means you have no compensation because human interaction isn't transactional.

Yes your time was wasted. Learn to not interact with people who will ghost you.

>It's selfish and childlike.

I agree it's selfish and yeah you should tell the other person out of respect at least something. However your response to this is childlike. You're frustrated (understandably so) but also saying it's not fair/what do you get from this. You get nothing because it's a shitty behavior. Life doesn't equalize and it's not fair.

I ghost lots of people. Nearly everyone in my life. My cousins, all my childhood friends, eveyone ive met at school, and even every rad person ive met in the last few years trying to break out of my shell. Ill meet a peraon in real life and get all amped up about seeing/meeting/talking/IM/ whathave you, and then ignore them forever.

You dont need to shame the person, or send some spiteful remark. It is its own kind of hell. Once you start doing it it become the norm, and it becomes harder and harder to not do instinctively. It encourages others to pick it up, and it just geels shitty all around.

I think of we want ghosting to end, people need to get over that entitlement that they have some roght to be responded to. Something that keeps me ghosting is when people say "Jesus its been so long since youve gotten back! What have you been doing?" And i have to tell this person what i find to be more inportant than them. Feels like being set up to hurt someones feelings

>>18595956
I ghost people because of crippling anxiety and depression. The unfortunate thing is i act semi normal in person so people are expecting a friend or something of the sort. Then I just can't do it. I can't get close to people. O only have acquaintances. I rewrite explanations in my mind all the time but I can't send them.

>>18595666
That says something about you if you ghost a lot. Either you only talk to garbage tier psycho stalkers, or you are a total bitch to every decent guy out there. Most likely you're just a cunt not worth anyone's time.

>>18595917
I hope you get ghosted one day and learn.

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>>18594573
Literally my number one pet peeve. Just BTFO raged at my best friend because he pulled this shit and the timing was so bad he actually ended up fucking over my lease and job because he ghosted then went into the woods for 10 days mid conversation about an important trip. Love him to death but FUCK THAT SHIT. Think for 30 seconds type for 30 seconds press send. NOT HARD

>>18596006
you know that probably kills them inside right? The most autistic, half-assed explanation is better than suddenly not getting any responses and wondering if you did something wrong or they didn't like you after all or a million other things

>>18596071
It kills me inside too, I don't want to hurt anyone. It's not enjoyable being an isolated piece of shit. I want to be normal again and have friends but I can't stand being around people for extended periods of time. I've been able to tell a couple people over messages it's not their fault, that I'm getting used to my antidepressants or have just been feeling really down. It's hard to say that stuff to people who you're not close too though.

>>18594573
What annoys me more are useless messages. I don't need to respond to all that shite.

>>18594573
I've usually been ghosting if person doesn't know when to stop speaking. I know one guy who can't make a phone call that lasts under 10 minutes (talks about things I wouldn't care less and repeats himself), so I've ignored his calls and told him to send messages instead. Also people who talk out of their turns gets ghosted without hesitation, I just can't stand it.

My fiancé of three years ghosted out of our relationship

>>18596071
I'm not the dude you replied to, but with you none the less. It kills me, and I know it kills them. How do you move on from it? Legit have no idea how to move forward and have been frozen in place for a couple years. I want to reach out to the people I"ve ghosted, I want to tell them it isn't them its just been my bullshit that I havent been able to sort out. It isn't them as people, but I want to do different things than the things I do with them but don't know what yet.

Take my school friends - I ghosted them all a while back. One friend sends the occasional "anon...?" message every couple months and I ignore it, I don't know what to do. I want to apologize and tell him sorry, I feel terrible that I just dissapeared, but whats the point of saying sorry? I don't want the person back in my life - Not to any faults of his but we have different interests and are in different places in life. Coming out of the shadows to apologize but then leave it at "Oh sorry, I wanted to apologize and give closure now bye" seems more disrespectful than just continuing this ghost mentality.

>>18596054
This is the one thing I hate and I know that fucking feel. Whenever it's something important, I get ghosted. JUST SAY Y/N OR FUCKING ANYTHING INSTEAD OF ME GUESSING YOU WON'T DO IT

tl;dr for this thread social media is poisoning interaction and making us more isolated than ever, ironically

I was just thinking about this the other day, social media gives power to women first, then men, to be the biggest passive aggressive bitches they can be.

When you got a number from a girl back in the day, it was either
A)fake
B)real

If it was real, you'd try and catch the girl at a good time, chat her up, set up a date, and usually go from there. Did people get stood up? Yes, but it was cut and dry. Welp, she's a bitch, whatever.

Now, with social media, the stringing along can go indefinitely with certain people.

Not only that, people higher in the social hierarchy can be brought down by petty passive aggressive ignoring. Put it like this; if a guy in real life said hi to a girl he knew, she'd say hi back unless she had a problem with said guy. Now, a literal Chad can get ignored by a frumpy girl just to feel that bit of power for a second. Obviously this occurrence would be rare, but it's an example of this drastic change to the way humans interact that is so poisonous. Obviously Chad getting ignored isn't a big deal to most of us, but it's happening at all levels of the social hierarchy, and we ALL suffer for it, even the girls. But in the dating sphere, we've come to expect this type of behavior. I've had a much worse time dealing with this with so-called friends more than anything. I've had some rough times and tried reaching out to some friends of mine and have been effectively ghsted, even though we were hanging out not too long ago. I'm guilty of it, too. I'm very guilty of it. I think we all have this thing going in our brains that basically if they were the last ones to message us, we "won" because we left THEM on read. However, I've never straight disappeared out of someone's life and blocked em on some fucked up shit like >>18596257

I just think that social media and texting has given us a magnification of the way humans work mentally.

>>18594573
>WAAAAAHHHH why aren't people spending 100% of their attention on MEEEE all the time??????????

Nah I hate you fucking faggots (yes girls are faggots too). The people who whine about this shit are usually insecure attention whores who complain to me constantly about their depression and suicidal thoughts. Fuck off.

>>18596301
>Coming out of the shadows to apologize but then leave it at "Oh sorry, I wanted to apologize and give closure now bye" seems more disrespectful than just continuing this ghost mentality.
No it fucking isn't. I am in your friend's position and I'm tired of being ghosted for no reason. Imagine someone trying to reach out and wasting his time only to find out that you were too scared to say that your friendship is over.

One way or another he'll get that you don't want his friendship. Better end it sooner then letting it die a slow death

>>18596351
It's a widespread phenomenon and it's annoying. All types of people complain about it.

>middle of heated convo
>about to reach a consensus
>Convo partner disappears and ignores all your messages
>3 days later you're wondering if you said something wrong

It's not even about entitlement, it's common courtesy.

It's akin to throwing a tantrum when you don't get things your way

>>18594573
I hate ghosting. I get lonely easily and start thinking that I am a piece of shit (or that person is) when someone doesn't text/call back.

People have their reasons for not answering you. Forget about them. There are a ton of other people that will take their time out of the day to at least give you reasons/excuses:
"Sorry, I have been depressed lately. Let me call you when I'm feeling better." or "Work has been real busy. Try calling next week." or "I have been really stressed today. I will get back to you tomorrow."

It's 30 seconds to a minute to answer these with a call or text. Don't be that guy.

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>>18594573

Firstly, "ghosting" is just the easiest way to participate in avoidance because social media makes it so. Its the online equivalent to turning around and walking away from a conversation that you feel is going nowhere or is rubbing you the wrong way. The moral implications of "ghosting" require context. Sometimes leaving a conversation without explaining why is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes it isn't. Regardless, "ghosting" isn't a new occurrence, its just the same human tendency of avoiding stressful or embarrassing situations on a new shiny platform.

Secondly, I feel like this issue is really tied into the common male complaint that "Girls should just tell me they don't like me or turn me down instead of ghosting, mind games etc.,"

While I understand that sentiment one must also put themselves in the shoes of a woman. I've had several women friends who are very hesitant to flat out turn a guy down because sometimes they get very angry and vindictive. How often it happens, I don't know, but it certainly does happen. I have one friend who turned a guy down who kept asking her out at her coffee shop and he ended up setting her car on fire. The point is, as much as you would like for a woman to just be completely honest and straight forward with you if she isn't interested a lot of women who do that are characterized as being "stuck up bitches" and become the target of a lot of vindictive behavior simply because she gave a guy a flat out "no".

I think the focus should be less on the "ghosting" and more on the reason so many guys, especially on this forum, are absolutely crushed by it. Regardless of whether or not you got the closure you wanted in a possible relationship, being able to process that disappointment and rejection is more important than trying to force other people to never disappoint you. Sometimes you never get to understand why things did't work out and you have to learn to let it go.

I think the moral here is people just don't care. And who are we to EXPECT a response to our queries. We should make queries with the intent of not getting a response rather than to get our point across.

>Expectations are the root of all heartache

It's a mindset thing. A secure man who gets ghosted can either brush it off and accept the unreliable quality of the world/that person. Its easier said than done of course.

>>18596356
Thanks for the harshness.

Putting myself in your (myfriends) position. I'm doing X and I get a message and see its from a long lost friend that hasn't responded in a couple years. My heart rises! Oh man finally! "Hey man sorry i've been ignoring you but, bye"

Whats the point of putting someone through that roller coaster? Let them handle themselves.

>>18596511
Also this. I've worked in several industries with appointment oriented business. Theres a running mentality of "if the person schedules, but cancels with little or no notice, charge them a cancellation fee. Its not fair to me that I am LOSING business because this person cancelled". Theres an expectation that business is garunteed, that once a client says ONE TIME "I'll be there" they are now responsible to bend over for however the business wants to react. I think its bullshit. Sure they said they would be there, but until you are working on the person there's no garuntee and expecting it is just kinda shitty. It drives folk away.

>>18596511
Yes. So much yes.

I have a birthday party, but nobody shows. Is it the responsibility of the people that did not show to manage my emotions? Fuck that. If I have a birthday party its because I want to have fun, and if I cant have fun without people needing to be there, then what makes them want to come? You are putting all the burden on them for EVERYONE to have a good time.

Same thing in business. People start businesses expecting to make money out of something, but don't enjoy doing what the business is about. So when business is slow, they rage at the clients that aren't there because of ego? Entitlement? I don't know, but its weird. They spend the entire empty day speculating why people arent there or what they can do to bring people in instead of just practicing what they do. Thats why theres so many shitty, sad as fuck businesses in America

Just because you keep annoying me/texting doesn't mean I owe you an answer. Get it through your thick skull, faggot. Just because you impose yourself on others doesn't mean they have any obligation of humoring you.

To everyone here saying there's.nothing wrong with ghosting on the ghosters part...

Can we agree on the fact that it's only decenct and courteois to respond to replies. I'm not saying you have to reply. But it's the decent thing to do, when you know, you're talking to someone.

Its like hanging up on someone unwarranted. Anyone can do, no one can stop you or forces you to keep that call but it's decent to cut it and say 'hey I've gotta go, ttyl'

1. others owe you nothing. Just because you talk to them doesn't mean they have to talk back.
2. Interaction is not transactional.
3. Y'all are most likely boring ("haha" omg why wont she respond?!), creepy or come on too strong/emotionally unstable (faggots sending girls text expressing their disappointment because they don't answer)/some other shit that puts her off.
4. People are not responsible for you. It's not our job to fix you/protect your gay little feelings.

>>18596641

So you it seems you think the ghosters is free of blame. Do you agree with this post?
>>18596625

>>18596625
No.You people don't get hints and keep pushing it. I don't care about your shitty little videogames and every time I leave to do something else (I have a life and things to do and am not always online unlike you faggots)/drop hints that it's time to leave you just keep roping me in. Had enough.

>>18596645
What fucking blame? What the shit are you even talking about? Blame about what? What fucking entitlement is your diseased mind conjuring?

>>18596646

Really? So if you're Ina conversation with someone, you won't find it rude if I leave while you're in the middle making a point. I'd like to say no but if someone did that IRL it would be rude. Social media just makes it easier since you don't have to see them as you flip them off

>>18596654


I really hope you hire someone important and critical to your job, and have them flake on you on a critical operation.

Instead of doing the decent thing of informing you can't make it. You make it harder for the people around you to replace you for someone more reliable.

(Had this happen in a concert set up, where some guy who knew how to set up one thing suddenly just never came... The whole concert was pushed back and people had to refund tickets)

>>18596666
First of all, real life conversation and media conversation are different beasts and only a moron would compare them or judge them equally.
Second, your covnersation might be shit, not engaging or the other person might be a normal human being who doesn't spend 24/7 glued to the screen and something else came up. Can be a million other things. However, the other person is not entitled to keep humoring you, just because you feel invested.

>>18596675
Oh get fucked, you moron. You're literally comparing something meaningful like a job to something worthless like talking to you.).

so if someone messages me i'm obligated to respond? what is this bs?

i'm so glad to have my online friends... if one of us is busy, we're busy, will respond later... or not respond. but still not be mad.

>>18596681

Can you read what I posted at least?

>Can we agree on the fact that it's only decenc and courteois to respond to replies. I'm not saying you have to reply. But it's the decent thing to do, when you know, you're talking to someone.

If you don't agree to this, you're a bad person.

Personally, I couldn't care less if the person just stops talking to me. I'm understanding enough, that sometimes, people just have to jet and do more important things.

it's this type of ghosting, >>18595081


the lack of accountability and emotional maturity to handle potentially complicated scenarios.

Ghosting in shitty. Not in the sense of someone not replying to a message, in the definition of the term where a friend just disappears from your life without any warning or explanation. I've done this in the past and neither party benefits from it, I wish it wasn't such a common practice but running away from your problems is never something society will eradicate.

>>18596711
>If you don't agree to this, you're a bad person.
Nope. You're just a whiny cunt with a huge sense of self-entitlement who can't handle other people not caring about his boring drivel and tries to shame them for it. You're the bad person, desu.

>>18596724
>huge sense of self-entitlement who can't handle other people not caring about his boring drivel and tries to shame them for it.

I'm not asking you to say goodbye before you go, I'm saying it would be decent and courteous of you if you do.

I'm not even saying stay and listen to my drivel, you can walk out any anytime.

I'm not asking you to do anything. But if you do say "hey I cant talk, because your boring", I will respect you 100 more times than the person who just leaves unwarranted.

The only person I've ever ghosted in my life is my ex. After she left me for another guy we stayed in touch for a few weeks, but one day I simply couldn't take it anymore and stopped talking to her without warning. It's been about 2-3 weeks since then and I don't regret it one bit. She tried contacting me again twice since then but I didn't budge.

>>18596739
Thing is I don't need your respect and owe you nothing. If I want to leave, I just leave. I don't need to justify anything to you, this isn't real life.

>>18596742
Fuck I did it too, but it just hurts talking to an ex who left you for another man.

I feel you on that man. It's not completely unwarranted though, so it's kinda justified if you don't want to talk to her bcause you still have feelings for her.

>>18596711
>>If you don't agree to this, you're a bad person.

Bahahah see, that mentality is what gets YOU ghosted. "This is how I view the world. Everyone that agrees with me is a good person. You disagree with me you are a BAD person." Get fucked kid, this world aint good and bad and you look like a fool for trying to make it so.

>>18596757
Exactly and he's a huge fool for not only having that mentality but for making himself the center of it/the virtue/goodness.

>>18596739
Bull shit. I've head this kind of talk before. "Oh I"m hurt how could you hurt me? If you had just been UPFRONT with me I would have been FINE, but no now youve gone and done something and youre a bad person."

These people are ALWAYS the ones to make a scene. Theres a reason people don't give you closure, because they can fucking smell the bait of "Go ahead, tell me i'm boring, I'll fucking make a scene right here in the fucking grocery store"

>>18596752

If you were my friend, I'd appreciate forthrightness over cowardice.

If you were a random, it doesn't matter you leave.

It depends on the context of our relationship.

>>18596757

I'm sorry but if you were a friend of mine who just hangs up on the phone without saying goodbye, expect to hear something from me.

>>18596762

Some people are like that, but some people really do appreciate forthrightness.

>"hey I cant make it to our dinner tonight because of x"

is preferable to

>don't show up and ignore all your messages

>>18596757
>>18596752

I just want you guys to watch a movie you're really immersed, and have the movie cut halfway for no reason.

Do not tell you wouldn't get a bit irate and demand to see the rest.

>>18596761

What so people can't have boundaries what they think is good and bad behaviour?

I'm not saying you should adhere to my worldview at all. Good and bad are relative.

In a friendship./relationship this things are ideally said outright, you know boundaries and such.

This doesn't apply to randoms, who you should still be decent and courteous to btw.

>>18596783
You're telling me I should expect something? Boy you aren't getting it.

If I was your friend and I felt the need to hang up on your without saying goodbye you can bet your ass I'm not going to pick up the phone when you try to call back to "say something".

>>18596793
Okay. So, I decide to go out and spend money on a movie ticket. I spend said money on movie ticket. Money's gone.

I watch the movie and it cuts out. halfway through. Bummer, I would like to see the end, its getting good. Demand to see the rest? Not everybody behaves the way you do. I would tell people that it cut out, and if they knew it happened they would tell me what is going to happen, if they didnt know I would imagine they would offer up some sort of compensation.

Either way though, my money was gone as soon as I spent it. Slightly different scenario back at you: you go to a movie, and it starts to suck until the end. By the end, you are full on offended at what you watched. Do you get irate and start making demands? No, because thats stupid. Having expectations that you are going to enjoy yourself all the way though is unreasonable. So is expecting that just because I gave money that everything in the universe needs to fall in line with my expectations or someones "gonna hear something"

>>18596800
"I think thats bad behavior" and "you are a bad person" are different statements. Please stop confusing the two, for your sake and the sake of anyone that decides to stick around and listen to you.

>>18596812


>I felt the need to hang up on your without saying goodbye

That is really shitty. I hope you do undestand that.

I'd be like, "what did I do wrong"?

Akin to women saying, "there's nothing wrong" when clearly there's something wrong.

>>18596822
You're right.

I concede on that point.

Is one action/behaviour really enough to define a person as good or bad. I'd say it's a mixture of two, not completely black and white.

You're not a bad person for ghosting, just a person who has a really bad behaviour who lack decency is all.

>>18596824
Hahahahahah Okay. Thanks for the entertainment.

So someone hangs up on you and your first thought is "Whats wrong with them? God, I gotta give them a piece of my mind" What a sad sack you are.

If someone hangs up on me you can bet your ass I'm going to think "Oh fuck, what did I say? I must have offended them, pissed them off, or they had something going on, or an emergency? Huh, well if I'm important enough they'll call back." And guess what? No matter what happens I'm okay.
They call back? Cool, we can talk about what happened.
They don't call back? THATS FUCKING CLOSURE RIGHT THERE TIME TO MOVE ON. Theres near 8 billion people on this planet, plenty of folk to bond with.

>>18596820

> By the end, you are full on offended at what you watched. Do you get irate and start making demands? No, because thats stupid.

Agree because the movie never promised a good movie. I came into the movie knowing it can be good or bad.

>So is expecting that just because I gave money that everything in the universe needs to fall in line with my expectations or someones "gonna hear something"

Hey man, I paid my hard earned money to watch a full movie. I paid with the expectation to at least see a movie. Anything short is robbery and yes you will get a call from corporate.

Now if you want to go one about life being unreliable that's whole another category of philosophy. In terms of a transactional purchase, I expect the full item.

>>18596838
I've figured out what your problem is. You don't put any effort into maintaining relationships. I'll give you a few years to realize how shitty your life is and then we can resume this conversation

>>18596838
Finishing my own post, I'm so tired of this transactional approach to people. "I waited X amount of time for you and that means something!" Fuck off, you chose to wait. If you aren't happy with your decision I could grind my entire life away trying to make you happy and it will never happen

>>18596841
Robbery? hah, you need to learn what you are doing. You didnt pay for them to garuntee you a couple hours of safe entertainment, you signed nothing. They put a dude with a rope in front of the door and said "Give us $20 and we will let you in". Theres no contract garunteeing a full movie.

I went to see Little Soldiers or whatever that GCI GI Joe knockoff was from back in the 90's. Halfway through the video cut out and nobody could figure out why. We were barely given an apology let alone compensation.

>>18594573
Me, me, me culture. I don't have to offer you politeness because it's all about me.

>>18596844
You're right, I don't. Nobody taught me how, and I'm still learning.

I can tell you that this constant validation everyone needs is exhausting, and I"m happier with my shitty life than I was running around sating everyones desire to be listened to.

>>18596838
>So someone hangs up on you and your first thought is "Whats wrong with them? God, I gotta give them a piece of my mind"

Yes I would like to know why you did it.

>They don't call back?

This is what ghosting is.
I don't know what I did wrong, and I have no social cue on how to improve or regulate my behaviour for future encounters.

>>18596852
>>18596852
>Theres no contract garunteeing a full movie.

Except there is. When you purchase a movie, you are expected to see the full runtime of that movie. If they don't, it's a scam house.

I don't have to be entertained, I just want to see the movie to completion.

>We were barely given an apology let alone compensation.

You could have definitely called corporate and got yourself a refund.

>>18596852
>>We were barely given an apology let alone compensation.

This is like buying Windows 10 for 99$ and not have it boot only to say

"Something Happened"

>>18596888
Dude, how fucking dense are you? Would you cut that expectation shit out? Thats where all this is coming down to.

YOU buy that ticket and YOU are expecting to see it through.

I buy that ticket and I expect to get in the door and see what happens.

I can see who is more butthurt about this shit and I can see plain as day why.

>>18596877
Then you have no self-awareness. You have NO social cue? Yes you do, your ass just got hung up on thats a pretty subtle cue if you know where to look.

>>18596893
>YOU buy that ticket and YOU are expecting to see it through.

Oh, so when you go to a movie theater you don't expect the entire movie to be shown?

>>18596909
I don't go to movie theatres.

Ever been a show and the actors or musician or comedian or what have you has a break down and walks off stage? Ever had some drunk asshole piss off the lead singer and they throw a tantrum and cut the show short? Shit happens man, the universe could give a fuck if you expect or demand or want things. You can be that little bitch that whines his evening was ruined or you can get the fuck over it and move on to the next fantasy entertainment escapism like an adult.

>>18596611
Funny cause I'm sure you're one of the types to wonder why nobody wants to fuck with you.

>>18596844
And you're just a relationship-starved little bitch who clings and gets buttblasted why the others don't reciprocate.

>>18596893
Pretty sure in civilized countries ticket entitles you to the full product.

>>18596893


> Would you cut that expectation shit out?
> buy a ticket for a full movie and only get shown half

Are you serious right now?
You must be easily scammed and robbed.

>>18596900
> You have NO social cue? Yes you do, your ass just got hung up on thats a pretty subtle cue if you know where to look.

No there's isn't a social cue because its unclear as to why I was hanged up on.

>>18596936
did I strike a nerve? I thought I told you this conversation was over for now

>>18596930
Considering I've had more success with women and school and social stuff at 16 (and kept going) than you in your whole life I will just laugh you off. Pathetic little betas feeling all entitled and expecting things from others just because they impose on them. Truly pathetic.

>>18596952
Not the same guy. Just another Anon stating the obvious.

>>18596958
sure thing~

>>18596953

Look at this chad adonis, a social god of many pussy.

Ask him for a blessing and he will tell you your ailments. He knows how to solve all social situations and he cannot be wrong on any occasion. Because, he's had more pussy than you.

>>18596980
And then you wonder why people ghost you.

>>18596997

Why because I'm a charming sarcastic man who speak the truth

Their loss

>>18597017
Charming? Far from it. You're just an annoying dickbag that puts people off while you think you're awesome. It makes sense why you get ghosted and have no maturity nor reasoning to understand why.

>>18596951
I bought a ticket to walk in the door, learn what a "ticket for admittance" is.

If you're unclear why you got hung up, I'll state it again: You have no self-awareness. If someone hangs up on you, its probably THE THING YOU JUST SAID. dumbass lol

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>>18597021
Jeesh I wonder where that came from

>>18597025
>You have no self-awareness. If someone hangs up on you, its probably THE THING YOU JUST SAID. dumbass lol

That's such a huge assumption. It may be the last thing I said or the first thing I said. It's quite unclear really unless I just pull something out of my ass

>>18596951
Also, because i"m so tilted at this entire thread I looked up Regal, a theatre chain with a location near me:

" There are no refunds after the printed showtime. For extenuating circumstances, please consult theatre management."

THERE IS NO GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL SEE THE WHOLE SHOW.

>>18597034
You'll do anything to shift responsibility wont you? Anything to keep you away from admitting maybe YOU might be the problem?

>>18597041

Cucked

>>18597052

That's the thing, I'm ready to acknowledge I am the problem, if only you had told me what was the actual problem instead of ghosting me.

>>18594573

Well if we're talking about dating...

If it's been more than 3 dates, but you're not interested then you need to tell them.

3 dates or less and just ghosting them is totally fine.

They lack maturity. Simple as that.

>>18597093
>ghosting them is totally fine.
Or don't be a child and tell them you don't wish to take it any further. Like fuck what is wrong with your generation.

>>18597069
Lets pretend here you and I are on the phone. and I hung up on you. You said something I didnt want to hear, and I don't want to continue hearing your voice or the things you have to say.

From your perspective, it is my responsiblity to then call you and explain that to you? After having my time spent talking to someone I don't want to talk to, you think I'm going to then GO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT? Nah senpai, thats your place to figure out or ask me, and I have no obligation to tell you. Get used to it.

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>>18597093
Jesus fucking Christ why do you people have so much difficulty telling a random you're not interested? Worst case scenario he lashes out at you but guess what? It shouldn't matter because you don't even know them to begin with!

>I don't want this person to talk to me ever again.
Tell them so and they will stop.
>I am busy so I can't respond
Tell them you are busy.
>I want to break up with someone
Tell them it is over.
>insert ghosting excuse here
Be direct, not telling someone shit will always make things worse in the long run if it is someone you care about. While if it is someone you hate, not telling them will make them not get the hint and fuck off.

Is basic fucking communication so hard for people under thirty?

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>>18597118

>Worst case scenario he lashes out at you but guess what? It shouldn't matter because you don't even know them to begin with!

Well, unless you've ever been a woman in this position or known a woman who has been in this position the "worst case scenario" of harshly rejecting the wrong guy is sometimes pretty bad. I've known a few girls who had to take out restraining orders against guys they just told they weren't interested. I knew a girl who had her car set on fire. I knew another girl who had a fake profile created by a crazy guy she rejected and he friended all of her friends and family and tried to ruin her life by posting and saying a bunch of crazy racist shit. I didn't know this girl but one of my girlfriend's had a friend who went on one date with a guy and he tried proposing to her over text the next day and when she said no he called and texted almost every day for 4 months. She even showed me some of the screenshots.

Some people aren't comfortable with confrontation nor are they super confident that the person they're turning down isn't fucking insane. Expand your thinking a little bit, bruh. This shit isn't always as simple as you're trying to make it out to be.

>>18597117
>Nah senpai, thats your place to figure out or ask me, and I have no obligation to tell you

Fine, let's say I do want to make our relationship work and I call you back.

I want to know why you hanged up but you won't answer your phone or tell me.

If I did call you back and you answered, that's not ghosting. Youre actually being a mature person and telling me what I did wrong and so I can improve and prevent that from happening in the future.

Conversation and relationships are a two way street. Ghosting is making that a one way street, with no ways to get any feedback about what happened.

>>18597135
>This shit isn't always as simple as you're trying to make it out to be.
If they are batshit just don't break up face to face. Rude, but reasonable at that point.

If you don't cut someone like that off directly they will spam the ever living shit out of you with messages. God forbid you don't respond to them, you will make them crazier.

>>18597135
It's definitely not clear cut. But Still you should be fortright and firm. If they still don't understand and still pester you, you've already done your part, it's on them to digest on it.

>>18597135
This is a very little minority of guys though. Most guys will actually fuck off if you tell them. Yes their feelings might be a little hurt, but at least you'll be doing them a service.

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>>18597144

>If they are batshit just don't break up face to face. Rude, but reasonable at that point.

Again, its not always as simple as that. The universal solution to avoid being stalked and harassed by a crazy person is not to reject them over text. That doesn't even make any sense. Also, how in the ever living fuck could breaking up with someone who ends up being so dangerous you don't even want to meet them face to face be considered rude? Please explain that to me.

>If you don't cut someone like that off directly they will spam the ever living shit out of you with messages

No reasonable person would spam the living shit out of you with messages because most people are non-autistic adults who know when someone doesn't want to talk to them.

>God forbid you don't respond to them, you will make them crazier.

I feel like you're purposefully doubling down the oversimplification of this issue in an attempt to save face and avoid admitting your original idea was a bit silly. No one is obligated to entertain the psychosis of another person just to avoid being stalked and harassed. That's a very very obnoxious thing to imply that its a girl's fault for having her car set on fire because she didn't respond to some psycho's messages.

Imagine looking this girl in the face and saying "Well you didn't respond to him you probably made him crazier" No one is obligated to speak to you any further if they find the situation unpleasant or uncomfortable and there is no justification to receiving retribution for that. Not only is that not a difficult concept, anon, its a pretty widely accepted one.

>>18597160
I think you misunderstood what I said. I am not saying respond to them, or that it is the victims fault she/he was hurt by not indulging a psycho. I am saying by ghosting them shit will get much worse then it otherwise would be. Tell them clearly and directly that it is over so you don't have to deal with that shit in the first place. Ya they will react fucking nuts, but they will react less fucking nuts then if you let it stew.

Do you think ghosting them is going to work? Fuck no, if they are as crazy as you said that is how you get a stalker.

>>18597154

>This is a very little minority of guys though.

I feel like this is a generalization you don't have any foundation for saying. All you know about the entirety of men and their interactions with women is the immediate bubble of your own life and friends. You nor I know what other people's experiences.

>Most guys will actually fuck off if you tell them.

I feel like this is another generalization. You may be right but you don't have anything but anecdotal evidence to support it. Lets also consider the fact that it doesn't take a lifetime of psychos to permanently make a girl hesitant to outright reject guys she isn't interested in. Sometimes it only takes one.

>Yes their feelings might be a little hurt, but at least you'll be doing them a service.

I'd go far as to say that if you're in a situation with a person you don't like and you don't wish to interact with them any more you don't owe them any services. I don't condone stringing people along or using them but if you text a girl the next day and she just doesn't answer back you have your answer. The issue is not that she didn't have a formal parting of ways with her the issue is that your social skills and ego are so thinly constructed that a girl just deciding to not talk to you anymore is a serious event in your life.

Context is important, of course. It may be rude and it may not be but you have to understand that some women just aren't comfortable sitting guys down and explaining to them all the reasons why they don't want to continue the relationship. You'll never have the perspective of a woman so you'll never understand the inherent pressure and implications that comes with doing services left and right just to keep the egos of the guys she doesn't want to date intact. If she's straight forward with you, great. If she isn't, take the hint and move on. Its not difficult.

>>18597174

>I am saying by ghosting them shit will get much worse then it otherwise would be.

And I'm saying that is a gross oversimplification of a very complex situation. Saying that "ghosting always makes things worse" is silly, anon. For a girl who has a past of dealing with angry and/or abusive men sometimes it isn't as simple as just telling them "I don't want to talk to you any more."

>Ya they will react fucking nuts, but they will react less fucking nuts then if you let it stew.

Stop oversimplifying, dude. You perceive that I'm misunderstanding what you're saying because you're basing your entire argument off of generalizations you just pull out of your ass and expect everyone to know is true.

>Tell them clearly and directly that it is over so you don't have to deal with that shit in the first place.

If oversimplifying were an olympic sport you'd be Michael Phelps.

Nobody owes you a conversation just because you want one.

>If they're not interested, they should say so!
Just because we went on a date doesn't mean I owe you an explanation. Maybe I suddenly decided I'd rather not date, or I have personal stuff going on. My first thought isn't "better text that stranger and give them the run down". And god forbid they're the type that can't handle rejection, they'll spend fucking days trying to convince you that you're making a mistake, like they're not just signing the death warrant themselves.

Is it rude? Yeah, a bit. On the other hand, nobody fucking cares. This is the real, adult world, and we all have WAY more important things to think about than random fags on tinder.

No, it does not annoy me, I think it's good.

>>18594974
>i asked some (female) friends about their opinion on this and they all said she probably didn't want to talk, but also didn't want to hurt me by saying that she doesn't want to.
In my experience this is just something that 99% of women do in all social situations. Almost every woman I've known has pulled this sorta shit for both trivial and important things. What it really is, in my opinion, is a fear of confrontation. They do it because they're too afraid to turn people down face-to-face, not because they want to protect your feelings. I see guys do it sometimes, too, and it's a huge blow to whatever respect I may have had for them, man or woman, when they do it.

>>18597183
>Oversimplifying
No, I have dealt with too many fucked up people like this in my life so I have a valid perspective. Hell even some of my family members were like this.

It isn't complex at all, these people are delusional. If you act nice to them in anyway they will consider it a sign you have undying love for them. These people don't take a hint, ever. If you don't respond, they will show up at your house or job to see what you are doing or spam the shit out of you with messages day and night.

From experience there are two types of insufferable people like this, complete psychopaths and autists who don't know what is and is not appropriate to say and do. The only way I find that works to get rid of the first is to gather evidence they are doing this kind of shit so you can get the law involved. Meanwhile being blunt and direct gets rid of the second. Now if you are lucky, extremely fucking lucky maybe they will go away on there own but I have never seen that happen.

Telling them off makes them send a threat laced message which provides you with crucial evidence to deal with their ass, or if they are autistic it will make them fuck off.

>>18595081
I think women in general just hate confrontation, guide yourself by actions and not by what they say. They ignore you? you stop talking to her too, it's easy.

>>18596348
Spot on post, agree with all of it.

>Now, with social media, the stringing along can go indefinitely with certain people.
This is particularly true. Instead of rejecting people now, women figure they can give a guy their Instagram or Snapchat so they can get that one new follower/contact to make them feel like they're more popular than they are.

"I'm not interested in this guy, but he'd make a good follower on social media and maybe if he sends me weird things sometimes I can laugh with my friends about it." Social media just perpetuates bitchiness now.

>>18597191
>Nobody owes you
Nobody is really saying that. There are lots of things I don't have to do, but do anyways. But it is the polite thing to say you arent feeling the chemistry and wish them the best of luck.

I swear to god I don't get why people make a two sentence reply such a big deal. So fucking what if you're busy it's 30 seconds tops, you could take care of it while taking a shit.

From what I get from this thread is the jews influence all to haves goys too individual to care about anybody else and self absorbed but the them always be inclusive and nespotic. It's how they rule. You all hate jews you just dont know it yet.

>>18596509
You are everything that's wrong with ghosting. Did you not see all the stories of gfs and even fiancees ghosting? You are saying it's always 100% the guy's fault and that the girl is right to ghost him no matter what.

I hope one day you are about to get married and then your husband-to-be ghosts you just before going to the altar. You and those like you deserve it. Perhaps then you will understand.

>>18597176
tl;dr I'm an entitled cunt who thinks ghosting is always right and girls can do no wrong.

>>18597219
Are you speaking from personal experience, where every single guy you have ever talked to is a psycho stalker, or are you just making shit up?

>>18597710
Not the same person but at least 60% of the guys I have met/gone on a date with in the past 10 months freak out if I did not text them back within 5 minutes. I work full time and get to look at my phone (but not always respond) maybe once within a 4 to 6 hour timeframe. I tell them so and out of that group about 70% of them understand. The other 30% continue their texts and getting upset when I can't respond.
Everyone in that group looses their shit if you flat out tell them you've lost interest. It's a varying degree of crazy but if you get the feeling that someone is going to burn down your house if you're honest with them, ghosting is an option. Psychos tend to loose interest quicker if you just stop existing to them.
As for me personally, I do try to be honest with everyone but if I get a text that makes me feel uncomfortable and I say so, I'm not going to respond to the next one that makes me physically cringe. Especially if it's literally the next one sent.

>>18597735
If you're not wildly exaggerating those numbers, then you have a talent for dating dysfunctional insecure males. Do you meet them on /r9k/ or something?

>>18594573
ghosting isn't new.
here is a song from 2008:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/september/cryforyou.html
it is about ghosting. usually women ghost from established partners, but I've ghosted quite a lot of girls on dating apps in the early stages while looking for the right one to try to get into a relationship with too. so it goes both ways. don't take it too hard. she probably just found a different guy she got along with better or got too busy to keep seeing you. try to find a different girl accordingly.

>>18594573
The reason it bothers you is because you were raised on Disney films, you want closure, ghosting is not getting closure.
Sure, getting ghosted is annoying because you'd rather get a straight up text or something, but it's not the end of the world.
Get a grip.

You ask a good question so I will attempt to give you my thoughts in hopes that this thread isn't too far derailed.
There's really nothing you can do about being ghosted.
So what I do is seek out alternatives.
I recently learned of cuddling websites where you can pay a girl in your local area to cuddle with you.
Then there are places to legally get sex and that's what you use both of these services and you can get at least some sense of human interaction even if its fake and has to be paid for it feels real in the moment and really that's the best we can hope for this day and age.

>>18597916
Jokes on you the women you pay for those things are looking for a real connection too not just meaningless fuckboy johns. All you have to be is a decent human being and talk to women like they are human not businesses and you will be okay.

>>18597587
This is the assumption that the person you're breaking it off with is a reasonable person. Let's be real, what do you think the average girl's chances of that are? 50% at best?

Yeah, it's a little rude. But who cares? You're not entitled to an explanation, no matter how that makes you feel.

Yeah ghosting sucks, and its different with someone you had some chemistry with, sure. I'm not saying it's unreasonable to be upset, only that it's pretty faggy to go make a thread about it.

Your worldview becomes a lot better once you stop expecting people to act how you imagine they should.

>>18598042

I stopped expecting basic decency from this generation, especially when it comes to dating. But I won't perpetuate the same flaws like ghosting.

Just because you can drop your expectations doesn't mean we can just throw away decency and basic communication skills.

And it's not enough justification to throw away basic decency because "he/she shouldn't have expected anything from me anyway".

>>18598042
>50%
What the fuck? You are one dumb paranoid delusional cunt. Half of men are unreasonable psychopath stalkers? No. The problem here is you. Not the men. You clearly are not mentally stable.

ghosting is for cowards and roasties who dont have the balls to tell someone to fuck off or that they are not interested

>>18598173
Or that she found another guy and is too cowardly to break up.

>>18594573
you're very insecure

people have their own lives you aren't entitled to be part of

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>>18595956
thank you.

>>18598078
You're not getting it. YOU can expect whatever the fuck you want. It's nobody's obligation to fulfill that, though.

Holding the door for someone is common decency. Explaining to a stranger that you are not interested in them is a courtesy, one that you are not entitled to by any stretch of the imagination.

>>18598117
That's not what I said, but props for finding the one thing in there that you could twist to fit your victim narrative.

Let me put it this way: when you meet a stranger, once you take away the bells and whistles, you have about a 50% of them liking you. Now, the actual result is different because there are many moving parts to consider, but once considered, the question always nets a yes or a no, 50/50. It doesn't mean that 50% of the population wants your cock.

It's the same with the reverse: you have a 50/50 shot of the person taking rejection well. Also, your bar for unacceptable behavior is literal psycho killers and I'm talking about dudes who just won't fucking take no for an answer.

Which is a lot of them.

There's NOTHING wrong with ghosting. If you get ghosted you're probably a clingy fuck who deserves it.

>>18596054
i would never do that but i flake a lot. i was always known to be the guy who flaked lol
ill get up at 4am to give a jump but then i'll forget about a thing i said id do.

its shitty and im getting better slowly
some people are flaky and that can ruin a relationship but i keep 99% of my friends. they live with my flakiness and love me and it's why they are my friends

>>18598192

I never said I'm entitled to one. ANd yes it is a courtesy which our generation is highly lacking.

>>18598192
You are perfectly ok with a guy ghosting you, right? Because most would be put off by your sjw man-hating behavior.

>>18598201
How many times have you been ghosted?

>>18598217
how many metric tons of bullshit do you consume per day?

>>18598207
>I never said I'm entitled to one
...ok, but you realize that's what you're doing anyway? The entire argument is about the expectation that someone should tell you when they're not interested. The reality is that your ego means jack fuck to anyone else, and rightfully so.

By definition, a courtesy it's something that you are not entitled to and should not expect. So, stop fucking expecting it.

>>18598214
I'm male you witch hunting troglodyte. And I get ghosted as much as every other bloke. In fact, I got ghosted by a girl I was for sure going to fall in love with. Completely out of the blue, just up and stopped talking to me.

Did it suck? Yeah, of course. Cie la fucking vie. I fucking wish that the first girl I've been into in years ghosting me was even my third biggest problem. You teenagers have such a hair across your assess, I can't wait until accrual shit starts happening to you.

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>>18598232
preach brothaaa

>>18598232
You're calling others teenagers when you are behaving like an underaged yourself.

>>18598232
>I stopped expecting basic decency from this generation, especially when it comes to dating.
>>So, stop fucking expecting it.
>> ..ok, but you realize that's what you're doing anyway?

Like I said, I do not expect anything from this generation.

Regardless if I expect it or not, Doesn't make ghosting justified.

>>By definition, a courtesy it's something that you are not entitled to and should not expect. So, stop fucking expecting it.


Right, and I never said I expected it. But again, it doesn't make it right or justifiable.

>>18598244
>justified
right or wrong? it is objectively right and you are bad if you don't show politeness to fuckin everyone? fuck off cunt, i would never want to be your buddy

>>18598243
nice grammar.

>>18598259
You have to be 18 to post on this site.

>>18598262
nice one.

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>>18598259

> it is objectively right and you are bad if you don't show politeness to fuckin everyone?

I never said that once.

Like I said, people are free to do what they want and they can only prove their worthiness through actions.

But don't think ghosting doesn't leave a negative imprint on your image. It may not make you a 'bad person' but it really does leave a bad image of a person who cannot handle simple communication and again, basic decency.

>fuck off cunt, i would never want to be your buddy

How old are you? That was out of nowhere and wasn't even funny

>>18598270
you're superiority is noxious

>>18598244
This won't be a problem once you graduate high school.

>>18598243
Why? Because I don't think anyone else is responsible for your feelings? Grow the fuck up. It's not about you. It never was. Your ego is so out of whack, you think that people are ghosting you out of malevolence instead of absolute, 110% indifference. You're taking the most impersonal way of ending communication, personally.


>>18598244
Do you know what cognitive distance means? You're asserting semantics to avoid looking at the larger picture.

You SAY you don't expect anything because you're taking about it in some pseudo-nihilist context, but you literally wouldn't be arguing the point if you didn't have a natural expectation for people to behave in a way you feel surprise.

Just because you don't think they will, doesn't mean you don't expect them to hold it in the same regard as you do. Expectations of the future and expectations of behavior are two different things, stop pretending like you can't tell the difference.

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>>18598274
>superiority

Huh? Again, that was out of nowhere.

Set your ego aside for a moment and evaluate what I said.

>>18598279
*dissonance, whoops. Wouldn't want someone to use autocorrect to justify their shit attitude

>>18598279
thank you based smart person who is also rational

>>18598284
do you want a food pellet?

>>18598286
Careful. I appreciate it, but were just gonna get called the same person, now

>>18598290
who cares it's just 4chan :)

>>18598275
What problem?

I don't have a problem with ghosting. People can do what they wish.

>you literally wouldn't be arguing the point

Because I don't expect it to happen, I can't assert and state what I feel is proper behaviour?

>if you didn't have a natural expectation for people to behave in a way you feel surprise.

Why are you continually asserting that I'm expecting things from people. I don't.

I don't expect people to hold the door for me, but hey wouldn't it be nice if they did?

Stop putting words into my mouth to fit your narrative.

>>18598303
you think it's the right thing, but you don't expect it. sounds like you're just sitting on the fence with your bullshit. you've said all you're going to say, please go now

>>18598289

No I want you to die

But yeah I do want some food, Ive been fasting for a day

>>18598303
Bro I just called you underage/socially inept. Not sure where all this came from.

>>18598309
>you think it's the right thing, but you don't expect it.

Right, is it wrong to have ideals?

> sounds like you're just sitting on the fence with your bullshit.

I made my position very clear.

I think its good if people can be decent and courteous

But in reality that doesn't always happen and it's unrealistic to expect that from people.

>you've said all you're going to say, please go now

You WANT me to go away, but you CAN'T expect me to go.

But I will because you've not really made anything but (failed) to attack my points

>>18598321
i never disagreed with you. you keep repeating yourself. go to the bathroom and sniff your own anus for 10 minutes it's more productive than whatever this is

>>18598314

It came from your ass because you don't have any credible positions to support ghosting.

But do continue with your little japes, it's making me diamonds.

>>18598303
>Because I don't expect it to happen, I can't assert and state what I feel is proper behaviour?
YES
THAT
IS
WHAT
EXPECTATION
MEANS
Following it up with "but ackshully I don't think it'll happen because LMAO millennials, amirite?" doesn't magically mean it stops being an expectation, it only means that you're too fucking dense to realize you're holding two conflicting ideas in your head

>Why are you continually asserting that I'm expecting things from people. I don't.
Because you're spending your Monday morning feverishly asserting your right to know why people stop taking to you. The answer is, it doesn't matter, they stopped talking to you. The result is the same, take a hint and fuck off.

>I don't expect people to hold the door for me, but hey wouldn't it be nice if they did?
If you go on 4chan and write a cringe tier thread and 300 posts about how nobody in your generation his the door for anyone, you have an expectation that other people should behave in ways you approve.

If holding the door suddenly became untrendy tomorrow, and literally nobody in the world did it anymore, I wouldn't fucking care. And you know what else? I'd still fucking hold the door open.

Kindness is its own reward. If you don't buy that, then you're not a kind person. Which is totally cool, but the least you can do is get off your ivory tower.

>>18598323

You: 0
Me: 1

Just joking, enjoy your day anon.

>>18598332
glad i could feed your ego more it sure is starving haha

>>18598330

Wow, you need a decent wake up call anon.

I would like to win the lottery, doesn't mean I will win the lottery.

Why do you percieve as superior? That's the bigger question here. But don't answer, it's getting beyond the thread.

Good day, and try not burst a hernia arguing with anonymous posters on a Jakarta Fish Trading forum.

>>18598334

>feed my ego
>implying I'll feed on anything you give me

If I wanted shitty fastfood I would have gone to McDonalds.

>>18598326
This thread is enough proof that ghosting is necessary. You're trying to argue something so pointless into the ground.

>>18598338
he called you out, and you sniff your farts more. what you think is proper is expectation from proper folk, you're just being superior and judgmental.

>>18598345
if i wanted you to eat id shove my cock down your throat

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>>18598346

>>18598338
You greatly overestimate my investment in this. The caps button is right there, friend-o, no trouble at all. My expectation was that it would force you to contemplate the sentence, even though I didn't for one moment think it would succeed in convincing you.

But I'm glad we agree that this isn't going anywhere.

>>18598348

>, you're just being superior and judgmental.

So you ghost my ass you expect me to not be judgemental and play it off cool?

Please get a grip, your actions are all you have in this world.

>if i wanted you to eat id shove my cock down your throat

Damn, are you an SNL writer? Those are some funny jokes, my dude.

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>>18598361
we got ourselves a detective here

>>18598346
That's my favorite part of this thread, the irony is so fucking palpable to the rest of us.

>How are we supposed to know what we did wrong?
You fucking morons, were trying to sit here and explain that to you and you're arguing with us about it. Is it so fucking difficult for you faggots to figure out WHY these girls don't want to have this argument with you over their personal contact information?

Fucks sake

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>>18598376
>>18598346

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>>18598391

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You can't blame people for taking the easy way out OP especially in our increasingly hedonistic and purely self-serving world.

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>>18598411
that's right, fuckin way she goes

>>18597740
Not exagerrating. Never even glanced at /r9k/ so that's not a possibility. Here's what happened with the last guy I ghosted on though.
>went on a few dates with him a few months ago, he's extra excitable and shockingly depressed and texts me at least 20 times while I'm at work.
>ends up lying to me about a bunch of shit, asks another girl to be his girlfriend after 1 date
>I'm okay with him finding someone that he likes better but he doesn't tell me this and asks if we can be friends instead. Like if we hang out and his girlfriend shows up, I guess he'll just lie to my face.
>find out, call him out on his bullshit, he calls me crazy and I explain to him it's the lies I'm not okay with.
>2 months pass, he apologizes and I figure it can't hurt to just talk to him. I make sure to let him know I don't trust him and he will have to earn that back before we could be friends
>he agrees and a day later starts talking about how he's thinking about having sex with me again. I tell him that makes me uncomfortable but he continued.
I haven't sent a reply to his last text which was also about sex. That was Friday and he has yet to send me anything else. As far as I'm concerned, I told him where the line is and he still crossed it. If you can't respect me, I can't give you a response.

>>18594573
just part of a push for anti social socialising. quick moving and burns out fast, its the same on all platforms

>>18598470
There is a 60% chance that guy is somewhere calling you a stuck up bitch, wondering why a nice guy like him can't find anyone.

@People ITT defending ghosting:

It's all about courtesy and being a mature, reliable person, not about entitlement or what anyone owes you.

Is a person OBLIGATED to say please and thank you? Are they OBLIGATED to hold the door for you if they're right in front of you? Are they OBLIGATED to be kind to their parents if they're good people and did nothing to hurt them?

The answer is no, but if that person chooses not to do those things then they're rightfully a piece of shit in my book. Same thing with ghosting under most circumstances.

It's also about implications about this generation's insecurity and their need to isolate themselves or put up facades as coping mechanisms.

>>18598596
to you, yeah we know, sorry we don't care enough

>>18598638

I'm sorry you're an apathetic anti social cunt

>>18598596
And again, what it boils down to is YOUR PERSONAL EXPECTATION that people should do X, Y, and Z in situations that you feel appropriate.

>I'm not saying you HAVE to behave the way I think, but if you don't you're a worthless subhuman piece of garbage
Have you fucking considered that these people DO NOT WANT TO HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU? That's the whole fucking point of it. They wanted to stop talking to you yesterday, and there is no moral or ethical obligation to hold your hand as to why. It's not rude, it's just your fucking problem to deal with on your own.

>>18598756
This theory falls flat when people hit you up first and still do it. Just face it anon, you're trying to defend a behavior that, when you get down to it, is just rude. While I agree that we should lower our expectations or just not interact with these people, it's rude. I do it, and I know it's rude. But this generation has completely lost the idea of being polite and courteous so it doesn't surprise me you're defending this with all your heart.

>>18598756
To continue, why would someone add me on facebook and not wanna talk to me? That's just backwards. I thought facebook was a place for friends? Oh? It's just numbers that people collect to appear more socially valuable most of the time and people are as selfish as ever, even more so now due to social media?

We have to be able to define what a friend is in order for ghosting to make sense. A friend isn't someone who would ghost you, plain and simple, unless they were going through some HEAVY shit. So we make an observation that we kind of already know; a facebook friend isn't a real friend. I totally think girls and even guys have the right to ghost in a dating situation. Maybe their significant other came back in their life, maybe they had a bad feeling about the person asking them on a date, whatever. It's still rude but so is standing people up on dates. Not a big deal though. I still hold to the fact that "friends" doing this is the worst, or like one anon said, a fiance of 3 years did it. That's not defensible behavior. When my old friends did it, not gonna lie, it hurt my feelings. Coincidentally, pretty much all the ones I recollect doing it? Women. I didn't even have any romantic interest in them, but it bothered me they could cast me aside like that, it's incredibly rude. If you're not interested in talking to me 1.) Don't be friends with me 2.)don't follow my social media

I can only IMAGINE planning to marry and the person ghosting. That's indefensible. That's disgusting behavior. I had friends ghost me and like posts I made after. I think you have to acknowledge both how rude this is and how socially retarded we are becoming.

>It seems really rude and arrogant to me. Am I just being insecure or does this piss anyone else off?
Get over yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you. I'm sure you don't reply to every spam email you receive.

schadenfreude: pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune.

It's like when people go 60 in the left lane of a highway/freeway when all other traffic lanes are going 70-80 mph.

Some people are just cunts, I think.

>>18596980
Lol don't worry. I'm not worried over some faggot who thinks getting pussy at 16 makes him worth anything. My original statement had nothing to do with pussy so I can see where his validation comes from and why he needs to flaunt it.

>>18597135
This is bullshit urban legends from females, a very small handful of guys will and have done this, so to say you can't say no cause he might flip is merely you trying to cover your own ass cause you can't be an adult

>Does it annoy anyone else that "ghosting" and ignoring people/leaving them on read is seen as socially acceptable nowadays?
I think people freak out about it way too much desu. But I guess now it's become sort of a way of communicating certain feelings about whatever you're receiving or the feelings have towards that person at that moment
I think the way we communicate nowadays makes us think a little more on what words and gestures we use and to manipulate what other people will feel from it, I wonder what kind of effect that will have on us in the future

Ghosting is my #1 form of communication. It's a wonder people still text me at all.

>>18594573
Agreed. I don't mind so much if one takes a while to answer but if they never answer that's pretty damn rude. Don't feel like talking? Say so

>>18594573
Only time I don't answer at all is if someone calls me when they should've just texted

>>18599331
We're on the internet. We deal exclusively in unsubstantiated bullshit urban legends that occur a fraction of a percentage of the time.