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How the hell do I stop being sensitive?

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Thread replies: 17
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I cry almost every damn day for what I feel is small, but I don't even know.
>husband suggests putting music through speakers
>I try to hook it all up as he's in another room watching TV
>too autistic to figure it out so I ask him

Then this is where I'm confused.
>He gets quiet, sighs, irritated, etc. (Confused because he suggested but probably didn't want to do it?)
>I try to pass this off but then he says in what I feel is an angry tone that I turned off the home phone by turning off and on a power strip.
>Gets angry at the dogs for being near him as he hooks it up
>I just go in another room and try not to let him hear me cry because it upsets him if I cry.
>Tell him multiple times its fine and we can figure it out tomorrow
>No response
>He later asked if I was crying
>Said yeah then i tried to explain I felt he was angry at me.
He says he wasn't and doesn't get why I thought that. He almost always has this quiet, irritated mood at little things. UNLESS its ME that's the issue. I need to know what to do.

I'm sorry for the personal blog and shitty writing, but I have nobody to ask an opinion from. Am I just a sensitive fuck? Do some men just not gauge certain emotions and are more passive towards them? What do?
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>>18529981
Put it all into context. It's not that big of a deal.

That said, I would just invest in a soundbar that hooks up to your TV and stuff, but also has bluetooth so you can wirelessly connect your phone to it simply by pressing a button on your phone.

Another idea is to get a sound bar that doesn't have bluetooth, and just use a roku stick to connect to pandora or youtube, and listen to music that way.

I mean, it's music. It's not a big deal. And if you can't figure something out, you obviously have the internet to turn to.
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I'm sorry to be the one to tell you anon, but your husband is quite obviously cheating on you.
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>>18529993
But these little things that shouldnt be a big deal happen constantly. He gets angry, I cry, he gets more upset. This was just the last straw where Im desperate for feedback. And I have roku. I put on Pandora on it and we have some shitty speaker that sounds better than the TV speaker, so that's what we were trying to set up tonight.
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>>18530008
I don't know how you couldn't figure out how to set that up. You either plug the Roku into the HDMI port on the speaker (HDMI IN), and then plug the HDMI OUT on the speaker into the HDMI port on the TV, or you plug the roku into the HDMI port on the TV, and then you hook up the red and white cables to the Audio Out ports on the TV, and Audio In ports on the speaker, OR you hook up the roku into the HDMI port on the TV, and then use a Toslink (black square with a red light) or digital coax (orange tipped cable) cable to connect the TV to the sound bar.

It seems like the second that you don't know how to do something, you just give up, rather than trying to look stuff up online and figure it out yourself, and your husband is becoming exasperated at this. There's nothing wrong with not knowing how to do something. There's something very wrong with not looking up the solution.

I included a picture so that you can see that, no matter what format you're using, this should have been easy to figure out, or at least easy to research.
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There are women that want to sleep with me, like me, or openly flirt with me, but I feel inadequate as a man because the only two women I ever loved cheated on me.

I was inadequate to the only two people whose opinion I cared about, and who knew me on a deep, personal level.

I'm 29 and I honestly don't care about sex when dumb young girls obviously want it because I honestly hate women.

How can I repaire this damage and work towards a scenario in which I get married and have children. I want children.
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>>18530027
Make your own thread, dude.
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I cry too everytime something relativelly small happens and my bf is also like your husband. For example we have an argument where I feel offended by his actions and tears starts to drop off my eyes. He then asks why am I always crying and I say "because I'm not stress resistant". That doesn't help in our argument at all and I ran away and he feel guilty. Once we argued over nothing in our way to store, then we ignored each other for half an hour and I cried in front of dozens of people but he hugged me so I calm down and bought me some snacks I love. Op, have you been spoiled in childhood?
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>>18530097
There is no excuse for your helplessness in the age of the internet. If you don't know how to cook, you can watch a step by step video on youtube. If you don't know how to take apart a pipe to get a ring that fell down the sink out, you can just look that up. If you need to change the thermostat for your AC unit, you can literally watch a video that will explain in great detail exactly what it is that you need to do.

Stop pretending this stuff doesn't exist. If you don't know how to do something, look it up and give it a try. Don't just turn into a little girl that needs daddy to do everything for you.
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>>18530021
Well he has hooked up the speaker many times before, so I asked because I figured it'd be a quick two second thing.

My point isnt the speaker situation. Its just that he gets irritated easily, Im sensitive, and we find ourselves in the never ending circle of that. For another example: I ask if we can visit my dad once a month or so, he gets stressed, irritated, I ask what I can do to help or whats wrong and just get told "its fine". No feedback, no insight into how he feels, why he's upset. When I moved in he was proud to say I can see my dad whenever, but when I ask to I feel extreme guilt, depressed, and confusion because he gets in that mood.

>>18530097
Always embarrassing to cry in front of strangers. And far from spoiled. Very stressful childhood that lead to me having to mature quickly. Its not a "I don't get what I want" cry. My dad would overreact and drink, my step dad used intimidation and emotional abuse, which lead to this extreme sensitivity to anything negative.

My husbands dad would yell at my husband if he showed emotion or cried and left me with his attitude of "everything's fine but I'm not" attitude. There may be similarities with you if you cry easily as well.
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>>18530110
>Well he has hooked up the speaker many times before, so I asked because I figured it'd be a quick two second thing.
Irrelevant.

>Its just that he gets irritated easily, Im sensitive, and we find ourselves in the never ending circle of that.
You're the source of his irritation, which is the source of your sensitivity. If you would be proactive in trying to find solutions yourself, you could nip this in the bud. He can't control his reaction to your ineptitude any more than you can control your reaction to his exasperation. So, the solution is simple: take steps to not be so inept.

>No feedback, no insight into how he feels, why he's upset
Men tend to be stoic creatures. Not all men are stoic, but it's not like you didn't know he was by the time you said, "I do," and became his wife.

>When I moved in he was proud to say I can see my dad whenever, but when I ask to I feel extreme guilt, depressed, and confusion because he gets in that mood.
Why?
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>>18529981
I was married to a women just like you. It's brings back a lot of bad memories just reading your post.
Neither of you are in the wrong here and this is the best advice I can give you even though my marriage ultimately failed.

Your husband feels helpless that you cry and he can't fix it. He sees you as a wonderful person but you don't realize it. He wants you to be happy but he can't figure out how to do that or give you the confidence you need. So he gets irritated but knows it isn't your fault, and thus because quiet.

The best thing you can do is start seeing a counselor and working on why you are so sensitive and get help at fixing the things you can't see or understand about yourself and growing. If your husband doesn't want this, then the marriage will fail.

Best of luck, it makes me sad to remember that there are people out there like you OP. Everyone has worth along with strengths and weaknesses.
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>>18530125
Here I am trying to find solutions. But if you're still referring to the speaker situation, it was something I figured would be quick and no big deal. I spend plenty of time researching things from how to cook healthier for us to installing a new carpet to how to spend less on cable. The speaker thing was a simple question I thought wouldn't be a big deal. I think that asking a simple favor from my husband should be allowed once in a while without getting out daddy issues involved.

Basically he gets stressed when I ask to see my dad because its a two hour drive. I VERY well understand being stressed over that, so I try not to ask much and pay for gas, etc. But I don't understand feeling anxious and guilty and crying when I want to see my dad.

>>18530142
You hear old couples say how marriage has its lows. I wish to overcome those lows. When did you decide to move on? How much trying did it take? Neither of us are interested in therapy.
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Sounds like your husband is just a shithead with anger issues. You're still a bitchbaby, but keep in mind that nobody likes it when someone acts like your husband. I bet he's a real cunt when he's driving, too.
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>>18530162
>You hear old couples say how marriage has its lows. I wish to overcome those lows. When did you decide to move on? How much trying did it take? Neither of us are interested in therapy.
Not him. In fact, I was the other guy you were referring to. Married for 6 years and still going strong.

The key to making a marriage work is for both people to see their spouse as the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th most important person in their life, unless kids are involved (at which point, the kids take 1st, but the spouse is still the 2nd through 5th).

You literally live for each other, you WANT to make yourself better just to please one another. If one person doesn't grasp that, the marriage breaks down.
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>>18529981
Yes, you are probably much more sensitive in your response to things that most people. The chemical balance in your head can seriously fuck up your feelings, but while you're still going to have those feelings, you can certainly ask yourself "is this a reasonable response?" and then despite those feelings attempt to function in the way you feel is more reasonable.

If you feel like your husband is angry/annoyed, and there are behaviors that he's exhibiting that support this, you are probably correct. Again, think about what's reasonable to conclude about this: cranky that he had to get off the couch to do something? Secretly hates your guts?

It might be a good idea to try some mental health therapy, both individually and maybe as a couple. Learning how to recognize and cope with your emotional responses is useful. Helping him understand what's going on with you might make him feel less frustrated in how he deals with it.
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>>18530107
what, are you responding to OP? Because I'm not OP
>>18530110
Well, I only cry when it's the deal with the person who I'm emotionally attached too and it's sincere. I don't cry when some faggot in online videogame being toxic.
I guess, you emotionally attached to your husband and that makes you sensitive towards small things. If you find a solution tell me.
Thread posts: 17
Thread images: 4


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