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How do I get this guy to be my bf?

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I'm 23F, he's 27M. I've known him through my ex as they worked together and I slowly came to like him. He's an all around amazing guy, runs marathons, lifts, takes care of his stuff and very family orientated. He treats his friends like gold and often hosts dinner parties for them(A few I've had the chance to join in on), he's like the perfect husband material.

So after I dumped my ex, I tried to hook up with him but he flat out rejected me and told me to spend time on myself and that he wouldn't date or touch me. This hurt but I had other options and explored those while still being friends. I would later find out that the guy is a virgin by choice(But he's so hot!) and that he just hadn't found a girl that he liked deeply like that. This made me want him even more since it showed that he was serious and knew what he wanted out of life. I jumped him one day when a bunch of us as friends were hanging out and kissed him on the lips, he kind of froze but returned the kiss and I continued to make out with him for a while. I kept trying to get some drinks in him to loosen up, but he doesn't drink either and...well, I may have playfully called him a "pussy". Everything seemed fine but later he texted me and asked why I did that. I told him that I liked him, but he said that what I did had violated his personal space and that he'd told me to just be patient and work on myself before trying to date again. I was confused by this as I assume all guys enjoy female attention. But he went on to say that me kissing him in front of all of our friends was a power move on my part and that the only reason he didn't push me off, was because he didn't want to make a scene. He said he found me attractive, but that he was concerned about my rushing into relationships and more-so that I zeroed in on a friend on my ex's without consideration for how my ex would feel.
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>>18527756
We've texted since then, met in mutual friends groups. But I don't know how to crack this guy. He's seriously very hot, super kind and knows so much. I've slept with a few guys since then, but none of them really do anything for me and this guy has been very understanding of me; but keeps on saying that I need to give myself breathing room. I invite him to parties all the time, but he refuses yet will pick me up from them and drop me off home when I'm plastered and bring me home cooked meals in the morning to recover. He's seriously amazing. How do I get him?
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He can tell you're a stupid toxic hoe and wants nothing to do with you. Your entitlement thinking you can basically go around sexually assaulting men whenever you want because you're a woman makes you look even worse.
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>>18527757
>I go to parties all the time and get so worthlessly drunk I can't even make it home

He's a clean, non-drinking, fairly successful athlete who has his shit togather You're a drunken college girl thot who keeps gaining more weight.

Work on yourself.
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>>18527783
This. He has told you multiple times how to get him. Pull yourself together.
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>>18527756
Maybe he likes you so much he wants you to take care of yourself, which means not blindly jumping into a relationship right after breaking up.

Hit him up in a few months and he'll probably be more receptive.
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>>18527756
You're probably trying to "date up" aka try to date someone way better looking than you.

Just give up and accept the fact that you need to work on yourself before you get a guy like him. You're probably trashy in his eyes.
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He's too good a human being for you. Don't ruin his life with your roastie degenerate cunt.

Whore.
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>>18527824
agreed
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>>18527756
You're literally a piece of trash compared to this guy. Please stay away from corrupting his life and just keep on being a trash thot. Cuz that's what you are. A trashy thot.
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>>18527756
>>18527757
You may find this to be "r9k" but the truth is he can tell you're a whore and wants nothing to do with you. His only passing interest is that he finds you physically attractive but obviously he's shown throughout his life that that's not going to convince him.

I honestly don't think you're good enough for him based on your descriptions and his advice was pretty spot on. If you want any chance at hell with him, you've got a few years of working on yourself to make it happen.

I'm similar to him in many ways and I can tell you right now I wouldn't touch you either. Everything about your screams stay away to any good man.
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>>18527756
Itt roastie slut wants chads cock.

Seduce him, dumbass, no man can resist the temptation of a desperate whore. Corrupte him using ur holes.
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>>18527757
You're a fucking slut and a boarder line rapist, stop sleeping around with guys, stop partying, and respect when a guy says no. Find another man you fucking degenerative cunt
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This guy has his shit together, he doesnt want no thot who fucks dudes at her leisure to get over a breakup.
forget him and find a guy suited to your worth, so scum really.
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Leave him alone.
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I can't believe how you fucking retards keep falling for such low tier bait.

I bet you'll screenshot this and post it on /pol9k/ as "proof" literally all women are whores.
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Holy crap. K this is getting way out of hand. I'm not home at the moment, but I'll clarify some things when I get home.
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>>18527756
I think you sound quite nice, like someone who simply enjoys life (never really got that "whore" thing). The guy on the other hand sounds completely cucked, boring af.
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>>18527756
slut girl doesnt understand why wholesome man doesn't want her. wants anons to spell it out for her.


????
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>>18527924
>Has a job
>Fit in everyway
>Does not settle for whores
>"""""cuck"""""
?????????
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>>18527932
He sounds like the average "i want to fit in everywhere" type of human. A person without edges.
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>>18527778
fpbp
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>>18527919
What do you have to offer this man?

Post pictures
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>>18527941
>wants to fit in everwhere
Do you see a problem in wanting to have a large diverse circle of friends and acquantances? I do not see a problem in having many good conections, if anything thats a plus. Of course we do not know if he does fits in everywhere, but is there really an issue with wanting to.
>a person with out edges
>complaining someone isnot edgy enough
so there is a problem being well rounded
90s emo fag detected
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>>18527941
>virgin by choice
>doesnt drink
>doesnt do drugs
>fit
>successful
In this day and age, his life isn't exactly "fitting in", otherwise he'd be on tinder stringing along girls like OP for easy sex.
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>>18527986
Okay clarification. Please just read and don't assume:
1. The first time we made out, I immediately texted him after he left and told him that I was sorry. He said it was fine but that we needed to talk the next morning about an "us". I wasn't sure about what to do so I asked that we just talk over text instead. He told me that he found me attractive, but that the partying until late wasn't something he liked at all and that if we were to do anything, I'd have to dial it way back. I told him that if that was how he felt, then it was fine and that we didn't have to be anything. He agreed and we went our seperate ways.

2. I coldn't find anyone like him really and so after a bit I contacted him again and slowly brought him back into the fold through mutual friends. The second time I kissed him, I will admit I fucked up and it was too much. I was drunk and we were in my car after I called him for help, he offered to drop me off home and then walk back to his since he didn't live very far. I took him up on it and when he parked my car infront of my place, I leaned over and grabbed his head in order to kiss him. He froze again and didn't kiss me back. I wasn't thinking and grabbed between his legs, but at that point he just turned off the engine, and exited. He didn't talk to me for a few days after that and I apologized profusely for what I did. He accepted my apology and told me that we had to seriously talk about what was going on.

3. He came to my place and told me what he wanted. That I had to respect his boundaries, be loyal and trust him. That he would give me his trust, but that we had to be friends first because he was concerned about what was going on. I agreed and we mutually kissed that time. Since then we've spent a lot of time together and he's always helping me with stuff.
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>>18528018
He's better than fitting in. He may be the perfect man.
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4. He confided in me that he had to love a person first before he could find them truly sexually desierable and that we needed that bond. I was growing frustrated at this point and when some friends and I went to a party, I made out with a guy there and he somehow found it. He was angry and I gave him his space. I asked his friend what was wrong and he told me that while we weren't a couple, that he was trying to build a trusting bond with me first and that making out with that other guy really hurt him. I didn't know what to do at that point and so I backed off like you guys said and our realtionship mostly became over text
.
5. One day he sat me down and asked why I wanted to be with him, and I told him that he was a great guy and that I loved him. It wasn't intentional and it just kind of came out, but he was happy with this yet still asked for me to be patient. Our mutual friend then texted me that night and asked me if I'd really said I loved him and I told him that I had. He then got angry at me and told me that the word meant way more to the guy and that I should be careful nto to hurt him.

That's where it's been ever since and we're still on good terms. It's just been two months now since all of that and he still hasn't made any moves on me sexually except hanging out with me and having dinners together. We talk a lot and he asks about my family and all that stuff, but it's just making me wonder what I can do to speed it up. I'm not a freaking rapist or any of that messed up stuff. I'm literally half his body weight, he could snap me in half if he wanted. I'm just looking for advice on getting him to be with me and no doubt.

As for what I have to offer him, I'm just trying to be a good friend and a lover I guess. He's never had one and I think I could do that well.
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>>18528074
Be patient, form a bond with him, and wait for him to be sexually interested. He literally told you that.
Also party less, because it sounds to me you fuck up in said parties.
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really anons? this is a troll thread.
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>>18528087
He told me that he wanted to date me. Word for word. It was our lifestyle differences that bothered him and he said that asking me to change who I was for him, would be asking me to be someone else and that it wouldn't be fair to me. We talked about it and agreed to meet halfway on it and that I'd reduce my smoking and drinking. But my friends are important to me as well and every-time we hang out, we end up going a bit too far. I know that's the reason why he's resistant to ask me out on a formal date; but I don't know where to go with this. I know I'm not perfect and have made a lot of bad mistakes in this. But he's a really good guy and I don't want to lose him, but I can't just change overnight either.
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>>18527756
I'm a similar but younger version of this guy: virgin by choice, no drugs/drinking, I lift, I've got a successful career, don't do parties, interested in having a family.

It is very easy for me to see his point of view. Put simply, he thinks you're a slutty partygirl that isn't going to make a good wife or, eventually, mother. He is only going to choose a partner he is 100% sure will not divorce him and won't fuck up his children. Slutty partygirl is not that partner. If you want to get him and stay with him, you should
>give up drinking and partying
>dress conservatively/not like a slutty partygirl
>Act feminine. Don't confuse this with acting like a ho.

The fact that those three things don't come naturally for you is already a big red flag. If I was the guy I wouldn't accept someone even if they made those changes, but he might given that he spends a lot of time with you.
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>>18528074
>>18528070
Seems pretty obvious to me. He likes you but has little reason to believe you're not just gonna go to a club and get fucked up on ecstasy or whatever and then make out with random guys while youre dating, just like you already have been. He doesn't need that stress.
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>>18528097
Came here to post this.
OP is likely a very lonely man
>girls on the internet
>acting like it isn't still 2007
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>>18528073
He sounds like a good guy, but he sure as shit isn't fitting in.

>>18528074
>As for what I have to offer him, I'm just trying to be a good friend and a lover I guess. He's never had one and I think I could do that well.
Hes got good friends. He doesn't want good lovers, he wants good love.

I'm trying not to be an ass here but if thats all you can provide, then given the mountain of headaches you've already given him, you're not going to cut it. Sort yourself out like he has said.
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>>18528142
He's also not really standing out. He's a man after my own heart.
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>>18527757
You don't. Stay away from him. You clearly just want to conquer him like he's a trophy.
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>>18528070
>>18528074
Jesus Christ. Stay away from him. Seriously. You are not good for him at all and you will fuck this up down the road if you even make it that far. You honestly aren't a good person and certainly not a good wife.

If you have any degree of goodness in you, you will leave this guy alone so he can find someone truly worth his time.
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>>18527756
You know if the roles were reversed everyone would call you a creepy sex predator who needs to take no for an answer. You're lucky you're a girl who can use feminism to get away with this shit.
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>>18527756
>>18527757
>>18528070
>>18528074
OP he has told you everything that he wants, all you have to do is change and be patient, if you are willing to give up your current lifestyle for a more conservative one I say go for it. I am not sure what your intentions are with him just know if he decides to be in a relationship with you, he will be most likely hoping for marriage, kids, and a good wife/mother that will not fuck him over. Just be careful with him seems like a really great guy.
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>>18527756
So instead of working on yourself, you go and sleep around with other guys.
I think this guy's too good for you.
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>>18527756
Can bait better/10
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This has to be bait to prove how right r9k is about women.

Checks all the boxes.
If it's not, please kys.
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>>18528523
Does /r9k/ have good taste in trek waifus?
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>>18528523
>r9k redpilling is so close to reality that honest female experiences sound like bait
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>>18528531
>kes
>good trek waifu

More obvious bait
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>>18528599
Then who was best girl on Voyager?
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>>18528502
It's not. But here's the truth...

I was talking to another guy and he's willing to take me out officially, we've been out twice before last week and he's a bartender at my my fav place. I talked to my friends about this as well and they recommended that I go for this other guy as well and so we've been hooking up since last week. To be honest I've felt a bit guilty about it all and that's why I sought out to see if there was a way to him. I got my friend to talk to him on my behalf earlier this evening and tell him that I've decided to move on with the new guy. But it didn't end well and she told me that he basically had a meltdown and his friends are trying to calm him down. I'm honestly scared and don't know what to do, he's called me five times and texted me asking what the hell I've done, but I'm at a loss for what to say. I'm at the new guys house right now and he's comforting me about this all, but I'm terrified and haven't been able to respond to that guys calls or texts. I know what you're all going to say, I'm a whore, a terrible human being...but I just wanted to be loved and I wasn't sure of how he felt. This has caused a huge disruption in our mutual friends and my phones been blowing up all night from different people about the situation. I seriously didn't think that it would get this out of control and I've been shaking ever since I got to my bf's house. I'm being told that I led him on and used him as an emotional crutch by his sister, but we weren't ever official and while I do appreciate the things he did for me, he never "dated" me so to speak. I don't even know where to begin with all of this. My friend is with him and his friends and she told me that he's just switching between crying and yelling at people to leave him alone...I seriously didn't think he wanted to be with me anymore. I don't even know what to do.
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>>18529312
Ok.
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>>18529312
good thread
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so basically this guy was doing everything in his power to put you on his level ie: wife material; and all you showed him was you were a lusting slut and couldn't keep it in your pants. THIS is why you can't find many men like him.

he tells you to work on yourself because he sees potential and doesn't want you to rush into things like you normally do. he's in it for the long haul.

he tells you exactly what he wants, so you gain his respect and trust; and you show the same qualities and patience which is what he values.

blows up when you're with another guy because you basically destroyed any chance he had at accepting you for who you were. Real long lasting relations are not built on jumping each others bones and he was very obviously heading that way but you didn't show patience or respect towards a man that most woman don't believe exist anymore.
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Congratulations, this guy is now gonna have trust issues. You couldn't just leave him alone, you think you're entitled to a perfect guy like him when you're just another generic whore. Seriously if he wanted a whore trash like you he would've just picked a random hoe on the street and fucked her but no, he's looking for a good girl (which i wish him luck very rare these days) to eventually marry and have kids with. You will never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never be considered wife material because you have the trashiest lifestyle and there is literally millions of girls exactly like you. it's like God decided to spice things up in this already fucked up world and started to make millions of copies of a trashy entitled women. You're one of those copies, OP.
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>>18529312
>I just wanted to be loved
yea I'm pretty sure your years of whoring around has left you Numb to Love anyways. I mean doesn't sound like you Deserve Love to begin with so i guess it's fine
>>
Defcon!
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>>18528523
That's quite the mental jungle gym you've got set up to do your gymnastics on.

It's not that women could ever possibly do something negative, it's just /r9k/ making things up! And the more negative things you hear about a woman in a story, the more it's actually proving it's just made up.

Yep, women are all perfect, and you never have to think otherwise.
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y'all niggaz been trolled
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>>18527756
>This hurt but I had other options and explored those while still being friends.
Fuck the pain away.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpDmklLFXVc
How women manage to justify their wretched existences sometimes is beyond me.
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>I would later find out that the guy is a virgin by choice(But he's so hot!) and that he just hadn't found a girl that he liked deeply like that. This made me want him even more

neckbeard fantasy
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>>18528070
He's serious and straight edge, you're not. For all he knows you're just a slut that will fuck him a few times and move onto the next availabe cock. You are not wife material. He is husband material.
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>>18529312

You should've tried to be a little less basic, is all.
Thread posts: 60
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