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You know the drill.

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You know the drill.
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I miss my ex, a lot. Why did you turn against me?
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>>18526721
I love you Kelsey.
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I posted in the last thread about my roommate.

He wrote a letter to me shortly after. He took blame for a lot of our issues and how badly it ended between us. He wished me a good life.

I want to write a letter to him about how much I love him and I want to be friends with him again. I feel like a chunk of my heart is gone, like a part of my soul is missing. I feel relieved, in a sense, because I don't feel guilty anymore. But I miss him.
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Im ready to get back out and date but ice been in a relationship so long its been a while and i just feel like idk where to start
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I can't stop being a jackass to my wife. I'm driving her away and I can't stop myself
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i think im fairly good looking, but am super shy and awkward.
i really want to get a qt gf who will massage my prostate, but even if i managed to get a gf how would i ever find the courage to bring up buttplay? i just keep trying to be the little spoon? (am giant)
>>
The guy I was dating stopped loving me about five months ago, but it took me until today to finally completely end it. I had this stupid delusion in my head that if I were just good enough, pretty enough and worked hard enough, he'd love me again. But he won't. So I screamed all my pent up anger and frustration at him even though the last few months have been my fault. I'm so sad right now. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, and now I'm just alone.
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I know you aren't getting the love and affection you deserve. I try to force myself to actually 'love' you. I try to force myself to see from another perspective in which I cherish you and value you for who you are. We are so very different. The only thing we sort of have in common is our sense of humor, but that gets dry real fast. You put so much effort into our relationship it hurts to stay in it, yet I know it will hurt even more if I leave, so either way I lose. Will I find someone that loves me as much as you do? Probably not, but you don't deserve a garbage person like myself, who can't reciprocate your affection without feeling disgusted at the fact that I'm forcing it, and at times, even faking it. I feel disgusted. If you don't let me go by the time we're 30 I'm seriously thinking of just clocking out. I like saying love you because it makes you happy, I just wish I could actually feel it.
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I fucking hate you, Stefan.
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Ever feel like people need a break from you? Without telling you?

Ever feel like you need to keep drinking just to make the nights go faster?

Ever feel like a social outcast in a group of social outcasts? Being in a middle that shouldn't even exist?

Ever feel like you'll never find a love because you just can't find the courage to say how you feel about some issues even if what you do or like seems to contradict them?
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I'm putting minimum effort into things that I do because I'm fairly certain I'm going to kill myself soon anyways
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>>18526731
Yes.
And when i get those thoughts i usually don't try to fight the thoughts and just let them go their course all the way through. It sounds a bit abstract i know but just focus on your breathing and let your mind do its thing and then catch on to the next thought that comes running.
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Get off my back over being single, sheesh. I'd love a relationship, but I'd rather be as happy as i can with myself before i try to find someone.
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>>18526772
You don't need to be as happy as you can in yourself before you "are allowed" a relationship with someone who will make you happy. Life is not about min/maxing happiness.
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My gf is gonna tie me up and feed me pizza and pinch my belly.

Fuck yes
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>>18526795
Thing is, i don't feel like i need a relationship right now. I'm kinda in a state where I'm cool if i find someone, but fine if that doesn't happen right now.

Maybe it was just a friend poking fun or something about me being single and i just took it as something else
>>
Being emotionally sensitive to anxiety sucks. Even things that haven't bothered me before will suddenly upset me a lot due not getting enough sleep, or being hungry, or drinking too much coffee (or too little), or not exercising enough.
On the bright side, I've become much more invested in emotionally intelligence which helps me understand others a lot more, and I've grown to really like things that are grounded and make me feel relaxed. I even met a girl I became crazy about because I felt so calm around her.

Going on a different topic, I wonder if people just "feel" anxiety stronger than others? I have worries and doubts like anyone else, I worry I won't do a good job and people will get angry with me, for example, but is the resulting anxiety a matter of how we view the situation, or is it just because I see it as a much more disastrous situation than somebody who worries about the same thing? In short, do we all feel the same amount of anxiety, but just view situations differently, even if we are worried about the same thing?
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>>18526893
>I wonder if people just "feel" anxiety stronger than others?

This is an obvious questions with an obvious answer. Anxiety disorders exist for a reason. Some people feel no anxiety, others feel anxiety constantly even in situations that wouldn't warrant anxiety.
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We're done with you, Ebi.
How is it wrong for someone to date your ex of three weeks, but okay for you to fuck our friends ex of three years?
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>>18526927
Yeah, but I was thinking if anxiety has a heavier biological component, like X chemical causes anxiety and one person just has more of than chemical in their brain which help developed the anxiety disorder and their catastrophic line of thinking (which makes it worse), rather than your anxiety only exists BECAUSE you have that catastrophic line of thinking and its not biological at all.

Basically anxiety that will always exist and can only really be treated through exercise, supplements, or pills no matter what you are thinking about.
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>>18526837
Never mistake foolishness for malice
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I want to pursue him so badly.
My best friend begged me not to because it would hurt her. I won't do it but she's married to someone else?? With a kid?? And another one on the way???! I told her that was unfair of her and she apologized and told me to do what would make me happy.
Hurting her will not make me happy but he might.
I'm so conflicted.
He and i have been hanging out so much and we went to a show last night. God I wanted to kiss him. I know he may feel the same for me. I wanted to tell him how I felt but I'm resisting him completely to save the feelings of my best friend who didn't seem to care about how I felt. Even so, if it hurts her it hurts her and I cannot do it.
Fffuuuuuuuck.
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>>18526951
>Basically anxiety that will always exist and can only really be treated through exercise, supplements, or pills no matter what you are thinking about.
That is generalized anxiety disorder, if you have constant anxiety unless mitigated with pills, etc.

It has a neurological component, a defective amygdala that can process more signals to certain regions of the brain resulting in an easier to trigger fear response.

Source: diagnosed with GAD at age three, I was one of the youngest cases they have ever seen. I don't know what a calm brain is like even with meds.
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I have no one I can rely on.
When I ask for help, I just get shouted at and made to feel small.

Today will be the day when I will live for myself only. I am not going to let anyone else dictate how I feel emotionally ever again.

Fuck you.
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I got a friend who is depressed and wants to commit suicide, but I kinda want him to. Because if he dies I get all his belongings as part of his wish. I tried to help him , but he denied all my help. So fuck him at this point.
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>>18526981
In what way did you try to help? What is it that is making him/her suicidal? Right now you come across as a shitty person who has done the bare minimum for someone who clearly cares about you given his/her wish.
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>>18526730

Stefan here, could you elaborate?
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I smoke weed every single day and it's slowly ruining my life. I don't even enjoy it that much, it feels more like a habit.
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>>18526727
Be direct and open with what you like. If she shies away at first try not to be put off -- many guys conceal butt play therefore rendering women the openness to pursue it. Ween her into it with videos or images of things that you'd like to try, go toy shopping together or buy some douches, gloves, and lube to prevent mess to readily have available
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>>18526728
I'm sorry you had this experience, it's a tough one and I sympathize what you went through. It's cliché to say he didn't deserve you so I'll say you choose what you deserve. In your heart of hearts, you knew you didn't need his treatment. The loneliness will pass. Always remember those red flags and allow yourself the time to grieve. Posting here may prove to be a good outlet for you to vent those emotions and frustrations out. Please be sure to make some time for yourself and not quickly jump into another relationship with someone else
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>>18526729
It's best to end things and allow them the opportunity to find someone who can reciprocate their feelings. What you're doing is toxic and psychologically damaging -- is that something you're happy to say you are more than willing to be a huge part of? Do them the favor of parting ways -- it will be good for both parties involved
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>>18526960
Your best friend entered the sanctity of a marriage -- she's hurting herself, her husband, her children, and you by holding onto someone she can't have. Being married she isn't given the right to choose to have a "guy on tap" -- pursue this guy and ignore the things she is saying. Bring it up to her husband as well with proof -- if there is none to present then keep the issue to yourself because it's just "she said, she said". Good luck. Your best friend sounds like a whore and a manipulative bitch who needs to get her shit together and focus on making her marriage work
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>>18526729
Why did you start dating them in the first place if you are so different? While it is fine for some differences to exist in a relationship, even some things that can be polar opposites. You sound opposite even at a base values, and hobbies level.

Advice for the future, if you wouldn't work out as friends you will never work out as a couple.
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>>18527003
Curious. Can you explain this more?
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>was with my ex for 3 years
>bad break up
>she was always lying and unfaithful
>cold silence for the past 8 months or so
>she's now commenting on my facebook friends I never talk to's pictures
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I matched with a girl on Tinder for the first time. What's a safe, non-boring way of opening up a conversation with her?
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My girlfriend was also my best friend yet she broke up with me, I have no one to talk to and I can't make friends. When I was younger I never learnt the ability.
I just want to talk to someone about everything.
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>>18527139
Don't think too hard about it.

How long have you been at it if this is the first time? Usually you'll have matches your first night, and I do mean plural.
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>>18527144
A little over a week now. Given, my pictures aren't the most flattering and I'm pretty conservative with swiping right.
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I feel like an edgy teenager writing this because this shouldn't be an issue past the age of like 15, but I have never got along with my parents.
When I'm at home I usually just keep to myself and stay in my room, which isn't like me at all because I'm very out there and social when I'm with other people. I'm only reclusive when I'm around my parents. When I'm at my parents' I will jump at any opportunity to leave the house even if it's just to walk about or sit on a bench outside for a few hours.
We have absolutely nothing in common and we have completely different personalities that really clash with each other. We argue over nothing to the point where I just walk on eggshells when I'm around them or try not to talk to them unless to answer questions. My father has gotten physical with me a couple of times during these arguments, and every time it's over nothing.
I feel uncomfortable in my own home. They don't know any details about my personal life as I don't feel comfortable or close enough to them to discuss it with them.
I don't think they're abusive or narcissistic or anything. I just think we don't get along but it's getting to the point where it isn't healthy for me. I'm moving out in a couple months and I'm hoping that living with other people will allow me to figure out what I've been doing wrong.
It's hard to get this off my chest because I'm a fucking adult and I shouldn't be having issues with my parents anymore but I've felt like this since I was a kid.
We don't say I love you to each other or anything like that. I can't have banter/friendly conversation with them like my friends seem to be able to.
I don't know how much of this is my fault or their fault but it bothers me because I'm supposed to see my parents as the most important people in the world, my siblings don't have any issues with them, and I know they've worked hard to give me a good life. But we just don't get along well. In all honesty I feel closer to my friends than I do to them.
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>>18527158
what do you have to offer these girls? Are you doing anything with your life currently?

Do you expect they're going to want you for anything other than an easy lay?

Are you mobile, have a place to bone them, money to treat them?
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Its been a rollercoaster, with everything that happened. And it seems that we have reached a crossroad. I'm still waiting for your choice. Eagerly hopeful that you chose me. Give me the chance you didn't give me. The chance you know I deserve. I put up with everything that happened, heck even accepted everything you did to me. I know we have limitations, but we can break them easily together, why can't you see that? Am I the only one really fighting for us? Its always been you you you, you don't see the love that you have everywhere. Your parents friends, and me. Mostly me. I have almost given up before but I fought it, fought my desires to leave because I want you to feel this kind of love I have for you. You know it and you deny it? What more can you ask?
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>>18527139
Open with a cheesy joke.

Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Males weigh about 990 pounds and the females can weigh anywhere from 330-550 pounds. Haha, my name is anon. How are you doing today?

I'd lose my shit lol
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>>18527140
>>>/soc/

Suck it up and use YouTube to help you build up social and conversational skills. You aren't helpless you're just fucking lazy
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>>18526730
Chris?
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Dear E,

You come into my life only when I'm happy with someone else, and you make me cheat on her. The first one was your best friend. Then there was my LDRgf whom I wanted to marry. She was a virgin when I met her, and you made me cheat on her and break her heart. Then there was the Italian grad student, who could have made me so happy. But you showed up again out of nowhere and fucked my bains out. You know I can't resist you, and you disappear as soon as you've broken my life, only to reappear when I've got a new gf. Why do you make me go through this? Why don't you just stay? Why do I have to fall in love with someone else and suffer in order to see you again?

-P
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I'm starting to feel like my brain is addicted to sadness. Is this a thing? I'm foggy, nervous, and upset 90% of the time and I can only shake it for brief periods of terrifying happiness
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I might be overthinking stuff and I might be too attached to someone I barely know. I'll try to move on, but I'm still caught up in a moment that ended a month ago. Maybe I'll hit her with a what's up and if I get ignored like I usually do then I'll just fuck off.
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She said she was flexible and open to change. She said I make her less afraid of that option. That feels damn good. I slept so well last night because of it
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To the anon that asked me how I could love a person i didn't trust. Thank you.

This was a question that I have wanted to ask myself but didn't. I don't know why I couldn't but it seems like the most important thing I would have been asking myself for years. Something had happened about 3 years ago that changed the way I looked at her. After the events that happened most recently, I have my doubts she could ever trust me again, and i was stuck so deep in my own emotions that I couldn't see the damage i had caused. Yes, I need to step away from her and think about what I actually felt for her. Mostly I have to focus on me for a bit. Should she ever want to talk to me, maybe then we can have a good conversation about things. But for now, I have work to do and I now she has her plate full. Can't hope on the future, but I have to try it make better for myself first.

Once again, thanks anon. I feel better, so far the best I have in months.
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>>18526726
> I can't stop myself

Yeah keep telling yourself that. If you really care, you'll change your mindset. But maybe deep down you don't care. Maybe you let your frustrations out because subconsciously you WANT to drive her away because you don't enjoy your marriage. You should think about if you really want your marriage to continue.
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>>18526981
Nigga, it's normal for people in that mindset to push others away. If he actually kills himself, it will hit you hard and you will feel guilty as fuck as you run away with his belongings. If you care, don't ask to help him, help him. Force it.

> So fuck him at this point.

To be honest you seem like a terrible friend.
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>>18527003
weed isnt ruining your life bro, you are.
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>>18527160
This sounds a lot like my relationship with my parents. Like a lot. I don't know the solution, but you're not alone. You shouldn't feel like an edgy teenager writing that or like this shouldn't be an issue at this stage, loads of people have issues with their parents, probably most people. I dont have much advice but it isnt going to get better unless you discuss through it. Try to see things from their perspective and then try to get them to see things from your perspective.
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Qt wants to fuck me, have a gf she has a bf but dont know i have a gf.

What do?
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>>18527577
Give her the d.
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I... got alcohol for miners.
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>>18527727
Dude, why? They shouldn't be digging while drunk? Do want you a fucking cave in? Because that's how you get a cave in. I hope you lose sleep tonight, of those miners get trapped down there, I hope you know you signed their death warrant. You fucking monster.
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I'll be dead soon. Thank you for telling me that I'm not worth it anymore. It was the final reminder I needed.
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>>18527053
The problem is they've had a thing in the past. And she and I have had feelings for each other as well.
I have moved on but it seems she hasn't moved on from most of her past relationships. She said it would kill her to see us together and begged me "please for the love of God," not to date him.
She said she couldn't be friends with either of us anymore if we were to become a thing.
She did apologize a million times afterwards and told me to do what makes me happy. She blamed it on the pregnancy hormones but I still can't hurt her.
I want to fall in love with him because he's a genuinely good person with so much love in his heart. He's been so great to all of us(group of friends) and I've known him since high school. Best friend has known him much longer and has been so jealous about our spending time together. We are so similar and we get along so fucking well.
He hasn't said anything but I can tell he wants more between us. As do I.
I don't like this. I want to disappear.
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>>18527820
You're placing someone's happiness before your own and enabling your friend to be selfish by making excuses for her. She's married. She has a family. The male is single and he's interested in you. If you don't pursue him have the reason be about you and not about your friend. If she wants you and him to be happy she wouldn't be a selfish girl, hormones or otherwise. She will get over it and if she doesn't -- goes to show you how much of a shit friend she is that her longing for him comes before your friendship with her. I can guarantee she won't stop talking to him and only give up talking to you.
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>>18527817
How did she tell you that and how are you dying?
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>>18527577
She's sampling to see if you're worth dumping her bf for. You should do the same: place your penis inside her vagina and compare/contrast how good that (along with any other attendant activities) feels vis-a-vis how much you enjoy whatever your gf does for you. If new girl is better, make her your new gf.
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>>18527577

>Most degenerate /adv/: >>18527893

If you don't love your girlfriend you should part ways and pursue the girl. It would be morally wrong to bang her since she has a boyfriend but it goes to show you if she cheats on him that she will cheat on you. If you do this and stay with your girlfriend then she will realize you are a cheater and will never trust you again ultimately dumping you. Spare her feelings.
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>>18527887
*He

And I'm going to kms.
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>>18527914
Oh? Why?
What did he say to cause this to happen?
>>
Hearing your voice again was the most intense rush i have felt in a long time. I almost didn't answer the call but i am glad i did.

I feel so much better now. I hope you do too.

I'm sad that things aren't different but i have myself to blame for that. Life has its way of working things out.. Maybe that Italian restaurant fantasy will still happen - but it'll just be you waiting patiently for a prince charming to sweep you off of your feet. You know i'm going to ask you to drink with me.

See ya around... Maybe.
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>>18527923
Lost interest in me I guess.
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It's hard to admit this, it hurts my pride but fuck it. I still think of you now and then.
I guess what I feel about you is...I wish I made you happier than I did, but I don't wish we were together. Ever since you left, I've had so much room to grow emotionally. I appreciate it, even if you didn't intend for this to happen.

Hey, I didn't cheat on you, as you believe. I was a saint in that aspect. I admit I was a little "paranoid"(I'd rather call it cautious!) you were cheating, and I'm not trying to make excuses(maybe a little!), but can you even really blame me, given my history of exes (including your own)? Now, I'm not saying I didn't make mistakes and/or saying you're to blame, I'm just trying to assure you I didn't cheat and sort-of giving an excuse for being "paranoid" as you so eloquently put.


With everlasting love(yo, love doesn't have to be romantic),
me


P.S.: watch Chris D'Elia's stand-up
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You make me feel top heavy
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A,

I don't fucking get you, I really don't. I never will either, and that's fine because hopefully that's the last time I ever run into you at a bar, I won't go there anymore just to make sure of it as well. We click like two flies on shit but you don't want anything to do with me, it doesn't make sense. Why did you invite me to your bed?

J.
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>>18527939
Why would that happen?
Were you guys having trouble? Or was it all of a sudden?
>>
I made I shitposting account on Facebook, and to follow a few particulars. The normie meme of "crack open a cold one with the boys" got me thinking about my friends. The ones I haven't seen in years. I have been busy and feeling like shit due to the loss of my relationship.
Maybe I should hit them up and crack open a few cold ones. See what they up to. There's one in particular, we were close friends until he did wasn't.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends again. I might try to reconnect with a circle of friends that ended over a girl.
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>>18527914
Don't do that. I am sure there are other people in your life who would miss you.
>>
What's the point of these threads? Typing up what you're thinking about in these threads really doesn't help get anything off your chest. You're better off making a thread/keeping a journal/talking to someone in real life.
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>>18528091
>You're better off making a thread/keeping a journal
what exactly is the difference you stupid faggot
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>>18528091
Sometimes you want to post a message a few tens or maybe hundreds of anons will see and have acknowledged your post.
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>>18528102
Better to make your own thread and actually get a reply. Most posts here have no replies.
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>>18528114
What if you don't want a reply?
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I highly suspect that my father used to be some kind of criminal who has murdered several people 13 years ago.

I could be wrong, though but several things don't add up, and as a pacifist who has always looked up to my father, this is definately disheartening.
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>>18528114
But someone might read it.
It's not about getting a response, nor do we all look for answers. It's just a comforting feeling to know that someone might read it. Maybe not the one it's meant for but it's out there outside of your mind. Sometimes you even get responses. Sometimes advice. Fuck, even the acknowledgement that you aren't the only one in that situation is a small peace.
Like yourself, why even post your question about this thread? What do you get from It? Nothing right. You could achieve the same from just asking yourself out loud. But no, you posted here and got a few (you)s. Simply that.
>>
I don't know what to do.
About anything.
I want to die.
>>
My mom got diagnosed with lung cancer recently.
The first months I just ignored it like its a bad dream, she did too. But soon she has a big operation incomming and she probably has to stay in the hospital for some time. I only got her as family. The last month ive been having episodes of depression because of minor things. I really dont know what to do now, im scared but at the same time I dont know what to feel...
>>
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I wanna eat dicks and listen to "Friday"
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>>18528136
What's wrong anon?
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>>18528086
Sure, let's pop it open. Do you still have your friends numbers? If so, phone them, boy.
>>
you guys seem to be extremely interested about teaching me... or are you studying my reactions... about artificial intelligence and simulation and reality.

It's not what matters. I can learn about it but in the end reject it for survival sake. Desire is more important than reality.
>>
>>18528205
or are you just looking for motivational or philosophical bits.

Desire overwrites reality.

That's a pretty good one.
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>>18528205
>>18528210
What ? What the fuck?
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>>18528217
Pay him no mind.
>>
Whose dick do I need to suck to get a fucking job. I'm not even getting calls for the cashier positions I've applied for. The last interview I went to was 4 months ago.
>>
I want to start dating but have major issues talking to girls, still virgin at 23 and it's really starting to get me down. Just want someone to enjoy life with. Also, have gyno so really embarrassing talking my shirt off anywhere, feel like a freak.
>>
>>18528233
Ayyy, do you have any special skills?
Like drawing or coding?
>>
I'm growing colder and I can't stop it because there is no other way I can cope with all the stress without any significant form of release.

It hurts her. She can't give me what I need, however, and that lack of intimacy weighs in heavily on top of all other problems.

She said my face was like a statue's and all I could reply was "yes". I'm steadily going back to being to the guy I hated becoming over years of feeling meaningless.
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>>18528236
What is gyno? If you really care about it ppl will care too, but in a negative way. They'll spot yor nervousness and will mever consider you seriously
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>>18528241
Basically man boobs, but only on one side. Can see it through my tops so it's easy to notice, just makes me feel like I'm not a man. Doctor can refer me for surgery but have to wait 2 years to see if it goes away on its own
>>
I'm sorry I ate the baked beans. I really didn't think it was a big deal, I mean you didn't have to make a scene. When the police showed up and the neighbours started screaming I felt like pure shit. Please just come home and we'll talk about this. It won't happen again.
>>
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>>18528248
Eh, then try to joke the problem
"Look, im half a woman now, lol"
Your shyness isnt going to help when talking to girls. Overcome yourself, be confident, but in a balanced way. I wont suspect it from you in a day or 2, but if you try it now, who knows what kinda guy you been a month or two ago.
Tl;dr: cheer up, fgt
>>
>>18527212
Lol man, nobody is making you cheat. Its your own choice (unless it was rape, then you should let someone know).
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>>18528248
Tamoxifen can reduce gyno, might want to try that. My knowledge comes for steroids and stuff though so might not be as effective if you didn't get gyno from anabolic abuse.
>>
I suspect i mightve been molested when i was a kid...
>>
>>18528273
>>18528273
Just started letrozole actually with tamoxifen for after, doctor refused to prescribe so taking it into my own hands. Just really hope it can help, even just a reduction in swelling would be amazing
>>
>>18528279
Unless the person is still in your life, you're better off not knowing. Closure is bullshit.
>>
V
It's because of my new look, isn't it?
I'd only say yes if I had time, money, and energy.
J
>>
>>18528282
Well I wish you the best of luck, and if it's self-prescribed - which I have no issue with - then I hope you have at least searched where abouts the correct doses are.
And the most important thing, tell the doctor what you are taking and how much, it should be in confidence meaning they can't report you, but it will allow your doctor to have greater knowledge of your situation and treat you better.
>>
>>18528306
Ye I did some research before purchasing, not sure if I should tell doctor as it may make them more reluctant to refer me for treatments in future. Doctors who I see tend to just try and prescibe me something short term and get me out the door.
>>
A few days ago I received the best news of my entire life. I had been looking forward to it for the last five years, carefully planning my life around achieving this one singular goal.

I feel nothing, and I don't know why.
>>
>>18528321
I've just got a promotion at work and had an amazing buzz for an hour or so, now back to nothing again... I think drug use doesn't help with the instant gratification it provides.
>>
>>18528320
Tell them, absolutely tell them, it might, but then your already on treatment. At the end of the day they are trying to help you and are the professional in the field, and their help is already hindered by laws and regulations, don't hinder it further by withholding potentially critical and important information pertaining to the matter at hand.
>>
>>18528321
You had a purpose, now you don't. This is what is leaving the emptiness by all means use it as an excuse to celebrate and enjoy yourself for a small amount of time, even if you aren't feeling the joy now, I'm sure you will at least experience some celebrating with your friends.

More long term to fill the void you simply need another purpose, be it a goal like a promotion or run 5 miles or 30 minutes, or something more unobtainable such as a goal pertaining to raising children, building a legacy or religion.
>>
>>18526732
I share this sentiment, Anon.

Pretty much committing GPA sudoku while lying about it to family and friends. I'm advancing to an actual university this fall and am holding out hope that I pass away in some sort of accident or something.
>>
>>18526721
"You're teaching me to live without it" I hope this is what you want.
>>
>>18528327
It is not just drug use, but the myriad of things in your life that lead to instant gratification. Television, video games, porn, drugs and even sexual promiscuity. Admittedly our culture and society is now much more leaning towards feeding instant gratification, but to an extent life always has done because it is easier and enjoyable, you just have to look past it or live with it, which is easier done than said.
>>
>>18528375
Disgrace. Why is there a reason to be like this?
You should be pushing yourself and attempting to improve your position. Putting in minimum effort required to pass something is one thing, but putting in effort below that which is what it sounds as though you are doing is as I have already said a disgrace.

Why are you any different to others, why should you be allowed to wallow in remorse, grow up and start actually working. if things are contributing to your mind-state like drugs or porn cut them out.
>>
>>18528382
I've cut out porn and masturbation completely and feel so much better for it, still a virgin and don't really talk to girls that much but when I do it's so much easier without the constant anxiety, actually try to have interesting conversations with people and make them laugh.
>>
I'M SICK OF STARVING MYSELF.

I CANT STOP STARVING MYSELF.

SOMEONE PLEASE FORCE ME TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. PLEASE. I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO IT.
>>
>>18528404
>>18528404
Stop being a fucking idiot, do you want to be a strong human being with good mental and physical function? Or do you want to be a weak waste of space who no one respects because you're weak and vulnerable, you have no bargaining power as a weak malnourished weakling. Grow the fuck up, honestly do you think cave men had eating disorders? They would literally hunt for days to the point where they were out of reserves and their body was eating its self, just to get a meal. Realise how lucky you are you pathetic bitch
>>
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>>18526721
Because I don't exactly know where to ask it, how do I alleviate this feeling of emptiness that I keep getting at night? So far I've do the following;
>Get 8~ hours of sleep each day.
>Work productively throughout and take 20 minutes breaks during self-study outside of work (work has no breaks though I'm happily engrossed by such).
>Read for 10 minutes during said breaks and learn Japanese/Russian alternating between each hour for the other 10.
>Watch a film every day or at least half, or maybe a couple episodes of Cowboy Bebop.
>Find new albums to listen to on a frequent basis..

Yet still I feel awful, my time is completely consumed and I feel like there's this gaping hole inside of me if you'll spare the dramatics that makes me want to cry. I don't know why given that I have such greater opportunities than 90% of the human population and are lucky to be where I am (given that self-awareness seldom manifests itself to such an extent, even if it results in shame and loathing). Sorry if it sounds like I'm humble-bragging, I tend to fail at everything and want to be of use to the state and its people.

>>18526964
Good luck, though I can guarantee you won't, you are either brought up to be self-serving or you aren't.

>>18528404
Too addicted to the feeling? I can see how that'd happen over time though really how does it get that bad? I'm kinda curious.
>>
What are some cunty things to someone when they mention I look young for my age? Seeing as I'm insulted by it I'd like something witty and hurtful to say to them that has them reevaluating their life
>>
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>>18526730
>>
>>18528398
Well then I suggest to you the same pretty much as i suggested to >>18528371, and as far as meeting girls go suggest going out with your friend group to bars and stuff as that is what I find the easiest.
>>
>>18528419
Nonchalantly say I'm probably going to age like a fine wine. You're also an asshole, a pretty one, but an asshole notheless.
>>
I'm still trying to decipher whether or not all those times of me waking up in my bedroom surrounded by light, or walking through the hallway to a light at the end of it, or light coming from my window while... some kind of humanoid being entered my room were all dreams or some other creepy shit.

Seriously, what the fuck is going on?
>>
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>>18526722
>Why did you turn against me?
>>
>>18526724
I know this isn't about me but I'm just going to pretend it is.
>>
>>18526729
As someone who has been that guy, break things off. It will be better for both of you. This is a toxic situation and when it does inevitably end on it's own it's going to take a long ass time for him to heal. Start the healing now.
>>
>>18526730
Duh, only assholes are named Stefan.
>>
I touched my aunt asleep
>>
>>18527224
This is absolutely legit. Sadness is completely addicting. Something about it feels good in a weird way. It's important to recognize that. Whenever you feel that voice saying "Let's give in just this once. Let's enjoy the sadness." Stop yourself. Think of things you like, things that make you happy.
>>
>>18528454
Dreams or illusions, you better hope they're dreams for sanity's sake. As to what they mean, I'm not too sure, are you happy with life? Is your life going anywhere? I'm sure there's some guide online as to what your dreams mean, not sure how much I trust them though.
>>
>>18528091
Most of these posts aren't about asking for advice and would be inappropriate as their own threads. It's not easy to have thoughts and feelings you feel like you can't share with anyone. That's what these threads are for. Share thoughts you can't share anywhere else. Maybe someone will respond, probably not, but you're not taking up space on the actual board.
>>
I took some ecstasy and slept with a random girl who was not my gf not had sex, just slept with. I keep feeling sad but it is not guilt. I have a feeling that I have made the wrong decision to be with my gf, will this feeling a comedown or are they real thoughts and feelings.
>>
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I came to Los Angeles 6 years ago, hoping to be an actor and filmmaker. I know this kind of dream gets shat on a lot here, but it's the only thing I've ever wanted. I love movies and I love the art and the craft. I did not come here for fame.

I had so much passion when I got here. I was a hopeless romantic chasing his lifelong dream. But then things got bad. I found myself homeless two years later. I got involved with a horribly toxic and manipulative relationship. I jumped from one shitty low-pay job after the other. Starved. Considered suicide a few times. I had to do absolutely pathetic things just to get by.

A year ago, I finally found a great home with great people. I got a job that pays my way for the most part. I've left the darkness... but it hasn't necessarily left me. I struggle to feel motivated to do anything. I haven't written anything in years. I'm making babysteps. I've done a few short acting classes. Started studying effective screenwriting and directing methods. But I find myself just doing nothing for hours every day. I'm trying to get my passion back but it keeps falling out of my grasp. I want to love what I'm doing. I want to stop going into that shitty restaurant every single night. I want to be able to visit my folks without having to fuck up my finances. I want romance, but I feel like I've lost anything resembling game. I can't bring myself to ask any girl out, and most of the time I don't feel interested int he women I meet at all.

I know I will never give up. It's all I want. My whole life would be a waste if I gave up and I know I would never be happy with any other career. But I can't find the motivation to work for it anymore and it fucking kills me. I hope your life doesn't flash before your eyes when you die, because I'd hate to watch all of the nothing I've done.
>>
You've got a real talent. You're more talented than you know. Give it some time and you'll be surprised how far you'll go.
>>
>>18526721
Like I said, please block me. I'm not strong enough to do it and you don't care so please do this one thing.
>>
When I compare myself to you, I feel like such a failure. Nothing I achieve will outweigh the mistakes that have put me so far behind.

But, I'll keep trying, because there's a slight possibility that it will work out and I'll finally feel equal.
>>
I've decided that I'm going to write to you. I just have to figure out what I'm going to write.

I miss you.
>>
give me my fucking medications back. Christ, I can't do fucking a thing now.

You people are assholes. I know why you aren't giving it to me no more. You know I need it. You know I suffer without it and that if I did have it I would be perfectly content. Fuck, I would probably even be successful.

You know that the thing holding me back is you. Is this fucking game.
>>
>>18526721
I hate alcohol, its destroyed my Mother and Father and my brother smokes weed, smokes cigs, and drinks now too. I need to join the Navy and get out of here.
>>
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I'm frustrated about my life. I live in a shit country with shitty people and shitty friends. My family are nice but not enough since I feel very isolate to the point that I feel my chest is very tight. My life is moving so fast and I haven't done a single noteworthy thing. I want to do whatever I want but I feel limited by my surroundings and my financial situation. I just don't know what to do and can't kill myself since I'm afraid to die but I wish sometimes I never existed. I don't want to take medications, I don't want to count on something forever and I feel weak in doing that.

Maybe I should start drinking
>>
>>18527939
You'll find a new guy ffs
>>
Everything in this world feels wrong sex is super easy to obtain but I can't find a good relationship! I have self-doubt about going to college! I'm going to work myself to death just like my father! I just want to burn it all down and restore sanity!
>>
>>18528379
https://youtu.be/rCfTlR8fXVs
>>
Even after making friends, getting laid and generally becoming closer to other people I'm still dead inside. I can't stop thinking about another girl, and what's really pathetic is we never went out or anything but I'm still so hung up on her.

Whenever I talk to anyone I feel a disconnect - I can't care about what they're talking about and just feel completely alone even among people who seem to genuinely like me.
>>
I'm basically a skeleton (5'8 115lbs) and everyone jokes about how skinny and weak I am, making me feel like I'm not even a man.
Why is it socially acceptable to do this, when joking about fat people isn't?

I guess I'll have to start lifting and gain weight if I ever want it to stop, even if I like my body as it is and fucking hate lifting.
>>
>>18528417
Addicted to an empty stomach,
Terrified of gaining weight, terrified of everything. Can't find a healthier way to cope with stressors.
Ironic part is this is my main stressor
>>
>>18528663
Because there's too many fatties and they kept shouting about how hurt they are.

Also probably because people think you're happy if your skinny because you simply aren't fat. All sorts of body issues out there though.
Just eat a little more if you want to gain some weight. Drink some alcohol. You can just do push ups too if you don't want to live. You don't have to go overboard either, just gain maybe an extra ten pounds.
>>
I would do literally anything to get this over with. To be a pretty lady. To have the truth. To be able to finally be free.

Why aren't we starting this thing yet? What the fuck is keeping?
>>
I hate my college. I've been miserable there for the past 4 years and now I'm at my breaking point but I can't just leave because I've only got 3 more semesters and moving to another college now would mean adding another 2 years on minimum in lost credits that won't transfer.

The prospect of life after college terrifies me as well, I don't feel prepared in the slightest to hold down a real job. I don't see a future where I'm not just scraping by miserably and alone waiting for the "good part" of my life to begin.
>Middle school sucked
>"It'll be better in high school"
>High school sucked
>"It'll be better in college"
>College sucked
>"I-It'll surely be better in the work force, r-right?"

I don't see an end to this madness, I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't want to die but I also can't imagine how painful continuing living is gonna be. I don't know what to do.
>>
>>18528528
No, for once you have to stand up and face the music and stop being such a child.
>>
>>18528712
>just gain maybe an extra ten pounds
I don't think gaining weight without lifting would work unfortunately, I'd end up with a fat stomach and skinny arms (which is even worse).
>>
I'm scared to start a new relationship

I have to accountable to myself and to someone else.
>>
You say "be careful what you wish for."

How is this bad? How is being a pretty lady going to ever be a bad thing? What, people are going to make fun of me for being a faggot? or gay? Are you fucking serious? What exactly do you think they do now? People have been making fun of me my entire life. The only times that's ever bothered me is for the way I talk, and singing.

The truth? What the fuck? How could the truth be THAT awful? Having the truth would set me free. anything is fucking better than living the way I do now.

So no, it won't be bad. It's going to be fucking awesome. I'm going to be a pretty lady with a shit ton of money and influence. I'll be able to do anything I want. I'll be able to afford any amount of drugs I want. I'l be able to work with any other artist I want. I won't be lonely ever again. Even if I have to hire fucking hookers, at least that's a better life than what I'm currently living now.

Be careful what you wish for.

I want to be free or I want to fucking die.
>>
>>18528663
The effects of being too fat are more grotesque but less depressing while being overly skinny can be from bulimia, isolation and a bunch of nasty stuff, so it's less comfortable and therefore less talked about.
>>
>>18528729
What music? I haven't done anything wrong.
>>
>>18528736
You seen the post-op suicide rate for trans people? I'm not saying not to go for it but do more research than that before you take the plunge.
>>
>>18528736
Stop saying 'pretty lady' no respectable 'pretty lady' would use that phrase.
>>
>>18528736
Are you trying to imply that trans people aren't treated like garbage and legally disciminated againts on a daily basis?

Maybe being a pretty lady is never a bad thing (though I'd argue against that too), but that only counts if you're a /CIS/ pretty lady.

At best you will only be a dude with a mangled dick to those who hate trannies. You will persecuted 10 fold as a trans woman lol.
>>
>>18528730
Assuming you're male then pretty much. Start doing those push ups, anon.
>>
>>18528636
only when everything goes against it's normal nature can the synogogue of satan manifest on this earth. they are trying to force god's hand. things are a lot weirder than you think.

I wish someone would give me a blade.
>>
>>18528754
Well, there you go. I never said I was self-respectable. I plan on being a massive fucking whore.

>>18528751
And there are still many that live extremely happy lives.

ANDDD they don't have the resources I do, now do they? I told those in charge that I don't want to do this unless the results are natural and up to my standards.

They have assured me that the results are actually going to be better than I imagined. They know I don't want to do this unless I am unmistakably female. I do not want to look like a man in a dress.

So yeah. I'm super excited for it.

I'm use to people hating me. I get shit allll thhee tiimmmeee for absolutely no reason and it just doesn't bother me. I do what I want, when I want. The haters can suck my fat tranny dick.
>>
>>18528763
>Are you trying to imply that trans people aren't treated like garbage and legally disciminated againts on a daily basis?
Do you know how to fucking read? Are you literally retarded? Illiterate perhaps?

I want this for myself. I give about no shits what society thinks. I never have. I do not want to be socially accepted. Again, I never have.

What does matter are the people that do accept me.

And besides, I'll have enough power that I could literally kill anyone that gives me shit.

Which I'm sure you all will keep in mind when the time comes.
>>
>>18528779
>Implying plastic surgeons don't say that to literally everyone about literally every procedure.

You're not gonna get a nose job from a doctor that says "Yeah idk, might end up looking like shit but I'll do my best"

No respectable plastic surgeon ever goes into the job intending to do a shit job, doesn't mean botched surgeries don't happen to even good surgeons with good intentions.

You cannot guarantee good results. You cannot be promised that. They could easily get into the procedure and have something go horrifically wrong and it's too late to go back.
>>
>>18528791
Kek ok I can see quite clearly from the delusions and role playing that your issues go pretty deep and this is all just some coping mechanism you got going here.

Go ahead, go get your dick cut off OP. It's not gonna fix the underlying issues you've got here, very deep seeded rage and anger management, and delusions of power that don't exist likely because you feel so weak and powerless that pretending to be rich and powerful on an anonymous image board makes you feel slightly better about your reality. But that's a temporary illusion. You'll log off eventually, go to bed, and remember what shit you live in.

Best of luck OP, I seriously hope you get the actual help you need. If that's being a tranny that's fine too, but I think you need much more than an inverted penis and 2 balloon titties.
>>
>>18528793
Again, I'm not using a normal surgeon here.

I'm not nervous about it in the least. The things I have seen, the technology I have been exposed to... it's magic. It's supernatural.
>>
>>18528804
Dick is staying. That's not being changed.

But whateva. I know what you guys are trying to do. It's not helping though. It's just annoying.

You have had the entire world disagree with me about literally everything. Either as training for this moment or for entertainment... maybe both. Either way, do you really think I'm not use to it?

There are also many many many people the love the fuck out of me. They copy me, mimic me, they want to be me. Those are the people I'm going to listen to.

I only have 10 years left. I just want to make love and make art. That's it.

I want to get started already. I'm 1000% sure I want this. I'm fucking stoked. I hate that you're dragging it out. That we didn't do this a year ago.

I'm super tired of this game, Everyone is.
>>
>>18528826
you will be cleansed.
>>
>>18528842
like, a shower?
>>
Recently divorced, financially screwed and about to lose my apartment. I work 50 hours a week and am still falling deeper and deeper into this endless pit. What the hell do I do?
I can't make it like this..
>>
>>18528852
Consider asking your bank for a loan
>>
>>18528862
Unfortunately after the divorce my credit score dropped significantly and they won't work with me because her name is the main account holder
>>
>>18528867
Have you tried a different loaning company?
>>
God damn H, hearing you mention plans with that person hurts just as bad as the first time. I am happy to be your friend like old times, and being apart from you is far more painful... But when you talk about what you two are doing it cuts deeper than anything and ruins my entire week.

I hate this illness, getting that worked up mentally makes it physically hard to breathe at times. I don't want you to feel bad though, so I am will hang in there as long as I can. It beats the distance though, at least I can get out of bed when there is no distance.
>>
>>18528874
I'm looking at the nearest payday loan center. Gotta love that interest rate.
>>
Do bad things really happen to the people I care about? You go through great lengths to keep me in the dark so I can only guess that's the truth.

Do they get involved with drugs? Does the fame cause them to live a dangerous life?

Or are they murdered.

They are all dead, aren't they. All my exes. And the girls I talked to online. Tisdale, Hayley, Donna... they all completely disappeared without a trace. Same for Renee. Are they ok? I have a feeling they aren't.

Why would you let this happen time and time again? Why wouldn't you tell me that this is happening? How could you let this go on for so long?
>>
>>18528917
you will be cleansed.
>>
>tfw find a girl on a dating site that requests memes and tendies.
but is she legit or bullshit bait. that is always the question.
>>
>>18528944
Like, killed?

Will you at least tell me what's going on first?

You know that's the only thing keeping me alive right now. So like, if you told me the truth I would even shoot myself for you.
>>
There's this quiet, nerdy girl in my class that I just want to destroy. She's always giving me eyes. She's not usually my type, I hang out with the art/music people, but I think I would wife her to be honest.
>>
>>18528891
I really shouldn't post that but I need to vent to someone, and I can't vent to you or it could hurt you. At least I know you don't use this board so you won't see it.

The stress of everything has been near lethal. Last week I had to go to the hospital for a stress induced cardiomyopathy, one of the doctors recommended I try smoking after I mentioned the benzos I am prescribed aren't very effective anymore. Fuck, how can I not be so stressed. I know it is hard with my medical condition, but there has to be something. If I die I don't think you will ever be able to live it down.
>>
God I wish I could just be over you

I hate seeing you with this other guy

And I hate that you're trying to make my jealous
I hate even more that it's working

I loved you so much and I thought you loved me too
So why'd you move on so fast and rub it in my face

Maybe I just don't understand women

Either way all I wanted was for you to be happy and I'm sorry that I couldn't do that
But why do you have to hurt me so bad
>>
we keep saying we love each other a lot, spend lots of time together, she wants me to move in with one of her friends down the street so we can be closer, etc.

somethings not allowing me to buy it, im a jaded boy ill admit from a really strange childhood but man i feel like she loves me but there were so many fucking road bumps and weird shady shit early on that i don't know what to feel or think. my trust is all fucked up still but i don't want to hurt this girl.

i need a spine, and i just wonder if she loses sleep over being awful to the people she claims she loves
>>
>>18528950
That just sounds like a normie-tier response from a girl who "isn't like other girls!"
>>
If she's with another guy she's moved on and isn't thinking of you. Not every girl wants to make their ex jealous, or rub new relationships in your face. You need to move on. Let her be happy, and stop thinking she's out to hurt you.
>>
>>18529018
I know that

I know I don't even cross her mind anymore

I only think she's trying to hurt me cause she would never use social media before we were together and never used it when we were together but like the day after we broke up she started using it to post about how happy her new guy makes her

So maybe I'm just insane
Either way it sucks sometimes
>>
>>18526730
Not an argument.
>>
>>18529051
kek
>>
my body is getting hard lumps all over it. sometimes they hurt, sometimes they hurt a lot. if I move in certain ways they harden even more. what is happening to me? am I dying? what are all these hard lumps on my body? why isn't my stomach flat anymore?

kidding, this is an attempt at funny humble bragging. I look fucking amazing lately. I'm gonna go eat and then get to the gym. faggot gym partner is skipping again. time to find someone else. maybe that cute blonde will be there today.
>>
I get high to kill the feelings of attachment I give to almost any girl that gives me attention.
>>
>>18527198
I don't get the joke.
>>
>>18529069
getting high is for fucking hipster faggots that'll never do anything.
>>
after I drop all this garbage through the floor and set it on fire, I'm going to make that old, rich, tough, bastard give me a job.
>>
I don't know how to keep going.
It's only been 5 months since we were together, I know it's for the best but it hurts. My body yearns for yours, not sexually but emotionally, I still wake up in the middle of the night and roll over expecting for you to be there so I can hold you, I still make 2 cups of coffee a morning not realising that you won't be here to have one with me.
I can't explain it, it feels like I have forgotten the words to my favourite song, to our favourite song. I can't listen to our song anymore, I can't listen to anything, I've lost all my passion for now I truly realise that my passion was you.

I wish I could tell you this, but i can't. I can't have you as mine once again for i fear the time we spent together was time you wanted to spend with another.

I was never what you wanted, but that's all you were to me.
I fucking miss you.
>>
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>>18528236
>Also, have gyno so really embarrassing talking my shirt off anywhere, feel like a freak
This hurts so fucking much. I feel you Anon. I share your pain. We will prevail. I'm 18 and have them on both sides, but I suspect it's fake gyno because I'm slightly overweight. Still, it hurts.
>>
>>18529077
>How much does a polar wear weigh?
Expected answer: Enough to break the ice.
>>
When you cajole and seduce someone into telling you details about something as personal as childhood torture and the traumatic aftermath and hospitalization for inept suicide attempt that resulted in permanent health consequences owing to your inexpertise in poisons as a fucking child, and when you swear ten or more fucking oaths to keep entrusted information to yourself, it makes you a horrible person when you laughingly tell shitloads of simpletons all about what you tricked this person into confiding. And really, there's no one lower than that, whether they be child molesters, serial killers, or anything else.
>>
>>18529138
Yes, I know that's the standard punchline but I don't get the males weigh this much and females weigh this much. Or was that supposed to be one of those quirky answers you give to make it sound less cheesy?
>>
I have to do a very repetitive task, if anyone wants to share music now's the time.
>>
>>18529163
You're basically being silly by telling her the literal weight of polar bears
>>
My mother has dealt with a lot in her life. She had me when she was 18 and decided to raise me.

I've dealt with a lot of shitty people and I've moved around all my life. She is one of the few people that has been there for years.

She is also the cause of significant stress and anxiety.

I don't know how acceptable or regular it is for a parent to insult you, but she has done so many, many times. It's almost a regular occurance.

It's an incredibly difficult thing to get insulted by your classmates in school, and then to go home and have your mother insult you as well.

My stepfather has done nothing to curb her anger issues, and she is not seeking help.

What I'm trying to ask is, am I in the right? Is she? Is this issue too complicated to have a black or white answer?
>>
>>18529167
Hmm. Got it. Yes, I'd find that funny as well.
>>
>>18529166
https://youtu.be/hyj4JFSErrw
>>
How do I get my girlfriend to stop freaking out at me whenever I want something she doesn't agree with?

I asked her not to look through my computer because she has her own and it infringes on my privacy, and then she just flips out at me. What the hell am I supposed to do?
>>
>>18529171
You're in the right. She's a emotionally abusive bitch and you need to get the fuck away from her. And tell your classmates to fuck off and leave you alone; you already deal with enough shit at home as is.
>>
>>18529182
Stop hiding shit from someone you call your girlfriend would be the first step
>>
>>18529182
Establish your boundaries. If you let her tread on you she'll only push further and will only stop when she has the power to say "Hand over your phone" and you obey without asking questions. Assert your male dominance, man.
>>
>>18529182
What is on your computer is your business and your business only.
>>
>always dreamed of having a motorcycle
>always dreamed of having a dog (would require moving into a more expensive apartment or buying a house)
>can only afford one of them
I have no idea what to do, both have their pros and cons.
>>
Life has ended for me. All that I have done is worthless, it makes no sense keep trying.
>>
I want to eat.
>>
>>18529250
Do you live in a place where it gets cold often, and/or snows?
>>
>>18527893
practical advice
>>18527907
>It would be morally wrong
ethical advice
>>
>>18529294
Yes, unfortunately.
The riding season here is pretty short, but I guess it'd give me something to look forward to during the winter.
>>
>>18529190
It's not hiding shit you fucking retard.

There are things on your computer that you might not want others to see that are completely innocent. Writing, poetry, journals, embarrassing pictures (like say, for gauging weight loss progress) and a billion other things.

There are also the probability of having things that might appear bad when taken out of context.

There also might be things you didn't even know were on there. Like photos of an ex you forgot to delete or you haven't thought of in years.

Basically, a computer is an extremely private thing and not wanting others to see what you have is completely normal. You wouldn't want people to read your private journals, would you? No, you fucking wouldn't. No one does.
>>
>>18529307
If you feel lonely then I'd get the dog. Then try to find ways to get extra cash just in time for the next Spring/Summer.

Unless moving is just that much a hassle. Getting the bike is the more simple method.
>>
>>18529357
Yeah, that's what I was thinking, thanks.
>>
I want to go home.

I want to be loved. I want snugs.

I want snugs so badly.

someone save me
>>
I'm scared that she may not know it's supposed to be a date, that she may invite our friends, that she may tell me she can't make it, that she may forget about it, that I may have diahrrea that day, that it may rain and she asks to reschedule for never, that she maybe just wants to meet me as a friend, that her ex will show up and fuck me up, that I will sperg the fuck out
>>
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>>18526747
I just want to be happy. Not that I'm like a completely depressed person or anything but feel like I'll never be able to attain maximum amount of happiness. I won't be able to find someone unless I just essentially kill a part of me.
>>
>>18529374
I wish I could. Hang in there and stay strong buddy, the hard times will pass.
>>
>>18529379
There is someone for everyone, and chasing the maximum amount of happiness is a path that only leads to pain. Seek only happiness.
>>
I've tried so hard to get past this, but even with so much support, I still can't get away from the pain.

I hate you, so much. For lying to me, and stringing me along. Our relationship ruined the joy I got from training. It ruined our friend circle. I hate you. I just want to go back and tell myself to never get involved.

You were a mistake. One of the only regrets I've ever had.
>>
>>18529250
Neat, what motorcycle are you looking at? If you don't have the space or time for a pupper, I'd suggest purchasing the motorcycle. They are both quite high maintenance in their own ways, fixing a dog is costly but definitely a lot cheaper than buying leathers and gear. I understand you said your warmer months are short so if you do purchase the bike try and make sure to take precautionary measures so it doesn't sit for very long. What kind of doggie would you like to own? Would you adopt? Good luck, anon
>>
Even though I know you love me back with everything I have done, I am still worried you will dump me for someone else or I will lose you.
>>
>>18529422
At least you know they love you.
>>
Will the girls living with me play video games with me? Like, can we form a battlefield squad? Or planetside?

That would be so hot.

I want to start already. please please please
>>
>>18529422
If they love you they will look past your faults. You may take comfort in that. If you have done something wrong and damaging to the person who loves you however, that's a different story entirely
>>
>>18529417
as someone who rides motorcycles as primary transport i would say get the dog.

I'm so lonely, I wish i had the option to give up all my motorcycles (i have 3) to get a dog for company but unfortunately that's not an option for me.

The dog is better for your general health as well as mental health
>>
I can't sleep. I wake up lashing around, fearing the reminiscences of nightmares I cant even remember. I have experienced sleep paralysis more than three times in the past seven days. It was awful. My mind tortures me during the night with hallucinations that keep me awake, in a state which I wont dare to close my eyes and let whatever entity enter my room. It seems my gaze keeps them away, so I bathe my room with my gaze throughout the entire night.

This lack of sleep has made me sluggish and has worsened my already-existing procrastination, making it extremely hard to concentrate. I can't study, work, or hold decent social relations. It will be the second time I'll fail the grade. When that happens, parents will probably drop me off the school, and I will never see again those which I call friends.

To most I'm just a vagabond. They glare me with disgusted looks. They tag me as something I am not. Teachers used to adore me due to my supposed intelligence. Now, they try hard to have me off their sight, as if I'm a druggie or a rich kid that refuses to study. I cant help it. I cant sleep.

Therapist says it'll all be better soon with this new med. I hope he's telling the truth, but even if he is, my grades are already at the bottom of the bottomless pit. I have no chance of recovery, and I'll fail again. I don't know if the news of my depression to my parents will have them not drop me off the school. I have dreams and I want them completed, but the way things are going, they will be better forgotten. Maybe I should kms.
>>
>>18529450
Awe..I am sorry to hear this. What dog have you dreamed of owning?
>>
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>>18529393
I don't know I'm in a middle that no one wants to be a part of because it's either A or B. I doubt I can find someone.
Maybe maximum happiness was the wrong choice of words but you still get what I mean.

Thanks though, anon.
>>
I need a psychiatrist appointment immediately but theres none available for months. Fuck the mental health care system entirely.
>>
>>18529457
I grew up with a border collie.

I frequently visit my parents because they have recently (shes only 1 year and a half old) got another border collie.
Just such a loving gentle personality and they are super obedient as well.

If I can stick around for another 12 months, hopefully i'll have more $$ in the bank to get a place where i can get one.
>>
>>18529459
A or B? So there are two people you want? Or two people who want you?
>>
>>18529463
What a lovely breed. It's only twelve more months, anon! That's so exciting to look forward to. I bet your parents pupper is very adorable (I'm jealous)
>>
I don't know what feels normal anymore

I've been sick for so long and no doctors know what's wrong with me even tho my liver is giving out so they just pass me along. It's been about 10 weeks I think. I'm not actually sure if it's been 10 weeks or 3 months since I woke up feeling abnormal. Like I'm in someone else's body and everything was a dream. I can't recall what I even did this morning it feels like it was so long ago. I have all these wretched symptoms but no one cares. I never go to the doctors but the several times I've tried recently have done nothing. They don't care. They just pass me along or ignore my pleas for help. I sleep so much I often get my dreams mixed up with reality. I have the IQ of a toddler huffing gasoline. I can't even remember what healthy feels like.

Why the fuck is this happening to me? I fucking took great care of my god damn fucking body. I treated it like a fucking temple. I went to the gym every day, ate healthy ass food and got 8 hours of sleep every night and for fucking what? I lost all my muscles that took almost a year to get, my brain is a fog, i dont remember the last time my shit was normal looking, I feel nothing anymore, I forget to eat most days but I no longer have the energy to cook. so I lay in bed, staring at the cieling like a vegetable, wondering if I should just kill myself or try googling my symptoms again for a new diagnosis.

I'm 22. I'm fucking 22 years old and I hurt everywhere and walking to the bathroom exhausts me. God damn I hate myself and this fucking life. This isn't living anymore. Why won't anyone help me?
>>
>>18529476
Will you please visit a different doctor or hospital for a proper diagnosis? You may have to travel but your health is depleting at such a young age and you deserve to be evaluated by a better staff.....
>>
>>18526721
Hey E,

What the hell happened? Did I do something wrong? Is it you? This silence makes no fucking sense. I thought everything was going well and then you suddenly fell silent and I don't get it. I know we only met like 3 months ago, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about you. I'll eventually ask you what's going on, but this silence tells me you already dropped me

Fuck it was me wasn't it? I'm sorry, I haven't had any of these experiences before. I buried my emotions away a long time ago and I find it hard now to articulate much of anything. But my head tells me you're something else, and I want to chase the feeling. I want to chase the same feeling I felt when I saw that bright smile of yours after we parted on our first kiss. It lit something up in me that night.

But what do I know about relationships, love, or caring for other people? It's no excuse for this disconnect, but I'm no good at this. I'm honestly scared that I would crumble hard if I told you all this. You would probably think I'm weak.

Like everything in my life, these feelings will dissolve and I'll be left thinking how stupid I was to make such a big deal of it. But I'm tired of bury bits of myself in these deep trenches, I'd rather give them to you and you make art with those pieces. Maybe I'm too much of a romantic (as I ironic as that is).

I don't know anymore.

M.
>>
>>18529481
I've driven 300 miles to a major city but the waitlists are so long for new patients. I go to the hospital but they discharge me ina couple hours because they "treat people with life threatening conditions". I'm waiting for one doctor to get back to me but it's been so long I can't remember when I talked to him last. Maybe he went invisible like some other doctors did or maybe it was a couple days ago idk I'm just very tired now. I don't have the energy to pursue any more doctors. I'm very tired
>>
>>18529466
If that is the case, go after the one you already dated/are dating or the one you have known the longest to be a viable choice. In my experience the grass is greener is an apt statement. Once the excitement of someone fresh and new wears off you end up only with regret.
>>
>>18529499
Continue making calls and showing up, anon. Eventually someone will evaluate you and give you medical treatment. Your situation is messed up and I hope for the best
>>
>>18529466
>>18529518
No no, though I am interested in someone that is also causing me all these issues.
I meant in a way like ideas and beliefs.
>>
>>18529529
Which two beliefs are you struggling with? And how did this person cause this internal crisis?
>>
>>18529474
Thanks anon, I actually really needed that.
Maybe I will still be here, maybe I will get a doggo and maybe that will make me... happy again
>>
>>18529605
Keep your chin up, you got this. It's only temporary then you will be able to give a good home to a sweet companion animal. Be safe and good luck, my friend
>>
>>18529537
Either way anon. Never change who you are, or abandon yourself to chase someone. That only leads to disaster.
>>
>>18529628
Thanks bud

I feel so cringeworthy because I have been in a relationship my entire adult life and don't actually know how to just be by myself
>>
Why do my wrists are so sensitive? It's driving nuts, I can't wear cute bangles or tight stuff around them because it feels weird, I physically cringe and if someone ever tries to hold them I shove their hands. It's really weird but I don't know what kind of doctor should I go to because this also happens to my left foot where I got a surgery and its also really uncomfortable but more bearable since it doesn't brush with stuff or has pressure from stuff. Also, those parts get tingly but not in a nice way like when you're aroused but in an annoying way that makes me want to have my wrists and foot away from anything that brushes them.
>>
What hurts even more than being a loner is figuring out how to have relationships with people and then fucking it up and being alone again while the people around you all have lives.
>>
Good fucking god what the fuck is going on.

This is the trippiest shit.

trippiest

Shit.

I'm just a human. I don't know what's going on. I'm simple. I'm dumb. I'm not meant for greater things. I just wanted to love and be loved in return.
>>
>>18529665
Things will become easier; you just have to make sure you're hanging in there and doing your best to make it to that point. The great things about animals is they don't judge you for being your natural self and they bring out the best in you
>>
I have been thinking for the past few weeks. I know you want some time to fix your life. I just wish you would have told me you felt like this. Instead of freaking out and breaking off, we should have talked. We should have tried to unite together and work on our lives.

I trust you though. Trust you enough to wait and while I know we can talk about this later, I miss you. A lot. We still talk and I wish we could talk more often but you are busy trying to get everything back to some stability. I understand and I am trying my best to take this time to figure myself out as well. It's not easy though because I keep thinking about you. What are you doing? How are You?

It's not easy, but I'm trying to do things by myself. Trying to enjoy some of things I didn't get too much of a chance to try.
For now this will do. Just keeping busy studying and working.

I hope we can talk. Maybe try to figure out what we can do. Communication. That's all I want now. Maybe it will happen. Maybe not. I hope we can talk more than we have lately. I don't like chatting when there are important things to talk about, but I understand you have business to get in order.

I will be here. Just reach out and I will grab back.
>>
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>>18529537
>>18529645
Can't keep falling in love with your friends, anon.

Anyways I'll stop posting. Thanks.
>>
So, a friend of mine since to be in love with me, I don't really mind it because she's super cute and nice with me. But the catch is that I'm a straight girl and the idea of being with anothe woman makes me physically sick. I don't really know why I tolerate the idea of being in a relationship with her, maybe because it's just her? If I wasn't going to live in another continent I would really give it a try and be her girlfriend.
>>
>>18529789
Sounds similar with me currently. Falling for a friend, but I always wanted a wife and make a family. Instead I'm entertaining the idea of a relationship like such.
>>
>>18529822
I think I'm just lonely and now I want to be even with her... but she's like, a genius, which is what I want for my hypothetical boyfriend/husband, so i guess is just that.
>>
i hate everything about my daily life. having a wife and kid is the worst possible thing i could have done. i'm happiest when i'm alone and responsible for nothing but myself and have the option to try and fail and only fuck up my own life.

the way things are now, i can see the rest of my life in front of me, and i know how every single day is going to go until i die, and that makes me want to end it now instead of trudging through it.

i'm on the edge of just walking away from everything, disappearing and just starting over from scratch.
>>
>>18529841
Don't be an asshole, if you really want to be by yourself just tell that to your wife and try talking to your son about separating from them. How old are you anyway? Because just disappearing will bring you even more problems than talking about it with them.
>>
>>18526721
I hadnt talked to you in two months. I heard you were talking to another guy. So I decided to message you. I dont know. I asked if youre happy. You said you were. I'm glad. I really am.

I dont know why im crying. I should be happy for you. But those words made me cry so much. I hadnt cried in a while. I wish i couldve been the one to make you happy.
I miss you so much.
>>
I'm a 26 year old ex-robot. I just got out of my first relationship, which lasted 3 months, with a girl whom I met and bonded with over the course of a few months of being in a shared circle of friends.

She broke up with me seemingly out of nowhere. Woke up next to her, went out for a bit, when we got back she dropped the "we need to talk" line. She said she felt "trapped" and "obligated to do things" with me. I have no idea what this means. It feels to me like she didn't really give the relationship a proper chance. That maybe the "honeymoon" feelings faded (as they inevitably do) and she mistook that for something else.

We never had any fights. Things were good, right up until the minute she called it off. After the breakup I talked a lot with friends. They told me she had broken up with previous exes for the same reason. "He just felt like a friend", she would say.

Two weeks from now my friends are going to a barbecue at her place. I've asked my friends if it was alright for me to come. Dip my toes in the water, as it were. I feel like I need closure. I need to know how she feels, if she believes the relationship was given a fair chance. I want to know what changed. I want to know when things changed.

I don't want to guilt-trip her into coming back to me. I want her to know how much she hurt me, how petty that may sound. Maybe she'll get something out of it. Hurt is probably an inevitable part of breaking up, but I feel like the way she broke up was cruel and rushed. I want to know why she ended it the way she did.
>>
Been in a relationshit for 10 years. Feel like I am just a burden to him. Told me tonight he would have sex with me to just "get it out of the way" so I didn't bother him later while he was drunk. I just downed a fifth of cheap ass vodka. Life's been so miserable. At what point do I just pull the trigger? I can't leave my pets behind, though... no one will take care of them.
>>
I am so fucking horny. holy shit i can't stop fantasizing about the next time I see him. I'm going to ask to do edge play with hands only and my favorite lube. I want him swollen and throbbing and begging me to let him cum.

I miss it.. it's been almost a month since we last had sex. I keep thinking about how he knelt on the bed and I sucked him off while he reached between my legs to rub my clit and finger me like some kind of sideways 69. how he pushed his hips forward to shove his cock in as far as it will go as he came, his hands desperately clutching at my hip and thigh while his cock twitched in my mouth. how he thanked me later by biting my tits and leaving teeth marks and bruises all over that stayed there for days.

fuck, it all feels so fucking good why the fuck can't I just have you all to myself all the goddamn time?
>>
I really miss hanging out with this girl... I feel... Hopeless.. I feel... Worthless. She seemed to be perfect, we had similar likes and dislikes... I feel like I would be selfish to let her know how I feel after what happened to this guy, when he was in a motorcycle accident... With no helmet. I've helped her out with giving her rides to work earlier this year, we used to communicate constantly on facebook, seemed like we were in good company with each other.. Sure there were other girls I liked in the past, but I like to scope them out before I get further into attempting a relationship. She was perfect. She was good company. She was the one... And, of course, it's like a curse, something happened, like this stupid motorcycle accident... What drove me crazy was that she told me this guy is somewhat moody and off... I poured my heart to this girl, and she knows how I felt about her. No, I don't hate her... I can't.. She is a nice person. I don't know if I could find someone like her. If I do, it probably wouldn't be as good.. To top it off, I am an old virgin. I feel like the meme "Forever alone" is appropriate for me.. And I think I should accept that.. It's fine. I just hope she is happy. If something were to happen to her from that asshole, I will beat the living shit out of him. She doesn't deserve anything negative. I will always love her, even if she is not with me. If she wants to talk, about anything at all, I'll be ready.... She definitely helped me out a lot since my mom passed away late last year, and she would know the feeling since she lost her dad a couple of years ago... God why hasn't she been in my life when I was younger.. It's like we're soulmates in a fucked up way... I sincerely do hope she is happy.. Right now, that's all I care about.
>>
I hate all the messages about how it was hard before but now it will be easy.

Stop telling me the dog days are over. They clearly aren't. If they were, I would be happy right now. I would be in the hospital right now if that were true. I would be getting treatment.

But I'm not.

You tell me those things just to fuck with me.

Please, just end this.

PLEASE
>>
Dear C,

Dont date E. I've invested too much time and effort to get you to stop cutting and start meds and therapy for him to bring you back to the darkness of depression. Your emotional attachment and his manipulative personality will surely bring blood onto your wrists, and I never want to see that again.
>>
I have really low self esteem, it's so bad people have more confidence in me than I do myself, hell in dreams sometimes I can't even get laid. Like I'll fool around, but actual penetration will get put off via distraction after distraction until I wake up.

Not always, but it happens enough to be worth mentioning.

How do I stop this?
>>
I'm confused by you. I'm your closest friend, we've been together almost three years, and the furthest we've gone is a peck on the lips after a congratulatory hug when you said you got a raise. Yes, we're waiting for sex until we're married, but we did say we're willing to experiment and explore a bit. We're talking about getting married within the next year but there's some stuff we need to establish first that you're not going to like. The thought of making out doesn't appeal to you at all and is a firm "no" every time, but with all the times I've said I don't want to do something you wanted to do yet did it anyway because I knew you'd enjoy it should set an example for how to keep a happy relationship. Hell, I might even hate this and you may love it. You know I'm big on dental hygiene so bad breath isn't an issue. I'm no longer going to budge until we've tried this at least thrice- once to try it, once to refine it, and a third to form an official stance. I think this little is fair, especially considering how much I've done for you. You've shut down nearly every physical advance, initiated your own once, have texted me first five times, and we've never spoken on the phone. If I don't reach out to you, I get silence. I've brought it up and I can tell you genuinely feel bad but nothing changes. You've been almost entirely asexual this whole time. I got you to open up a tiny bit to where you shared your three fetishes but then you changed the subject entirely and that's the steamiest we've ever been.

You know your brother shares his "family activity" notebook with me despite me telling him not to. You know I know you only go to work, the grocery store, the bookstore, and my place. You don't let me in or open up enough and while I know we love each other, I need more from you. I feel things have been going flat for a while and I need to know beforehand if tying the knot and popping your cherry is going to break this wall or if I'm to expect a lifetime of this.
>>
I've been dealing with depression for 4 years i desperately try to make my life better by getting a girlfriend and once I do I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same way I hate my family in genreal i have basically no one expect a few friends that I'm only friends with to not be a complete loner I honselty don't know what to do anymore i have days where I don't leave my bed every since I stared dating my current girl friend I thought it would make happy now I just have Constant guilt because I just want her to be happy I feel I'm not good enough for her what's the point of even trying in life anymore
>>
>>18529907
Are you like 15?
>>
>>18529775
Yes, if you kept falling in love with your friends that would get messy after a while. Though I am really not sure what context that is in to make it relate to conflicting ideas and beliefs. Best of luck, either way.
>>
Applied to a uni abroad because my country looks less and less promising as the years go by.

Honestly I'm pretty fucking terrified. I feel as if I made the right choice because I should gain good life experience but fuck, I've never lived on my own and most of my friends come from high school. I'm kind of afraid that I won't manage to make new friends if they aren't the open/friendly type.

Also the fact that I've been mainly average at school worries me
>>
>>18529828
Feeling it might be the same with me in some ways.
>>
>>18529906


I ad a similar problem. What I did was to invest in "manly" or adult things; lifting, running, tidying up, etc.
I also forced myself into social situations and learned from them. Sure, i was an awkward fool to begin with, but as my social skills got better people listened to what I had to say and that was a huge boost in self confidence.
Also, check out artofmanliness.com and listen to their podcasts. Very insightful and if you take into consideration what they say, you'll feel empowered and your self confidence will return.

It's no easy task anon, but set a schedule to doing at least one of these or so a day and I think you'll gain confidence in yourself faster than you thought was possible.
Best of luck anon, Godspeed
>>
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fucked this guy and talked to him for a couple months... i ended it about a month ago

long story short his best friend that i've been texting just drunk texted me and said he really liked me and wished i wasn't a thing with anon

then i said me too etc etc

he fell asleep and hasn't gotten back to me on that but i'm scared he'll wake up and be like "what the fuck i was drunk" and break off our friendship

how fucked am i
>>
Alright. I plan to move across the country (florida to alaska) and I have no idea what i'm doing. I have money saved up so i'm not too worried about that, I just don't know anyone in alaska nor do I own any property, having lived with my parents all my life I don't really know what to do to get a foot in here and get started with the move. Do I just go online and buy property? Is that how it works?
>>
Trayvon Martin was a cut and dry case to me but... I just can't see the Brown shooting the same way at all...
>>
Just got out of a breakup 2 weeks ago. It feels like I'm missing something. I'm starting to realize maybe it's not so much my ex, but rather the feeling of intimacy.

At what point does it become socially acceptable to pursue a new relationship?
>>
>>18529712
I keep wondering why you're here.
>>
I want to make a Tinder, but I take terrible pictures and I barely have anything other than selfies.

Im also really self conscious, I think Im attractive but Im not sure.

Im a dude btw.
>>
>>18530101
>At what point does it become socially acceptable to pursue a new relationship?
When you feel unenthusiastic when you see, hear, think of your ex is a good sign. Next is being able to take on the responsibility of another person's thoughts, feelings, and emotions. If you can handle all of this and have a good balance of trust, loyalty, and communication with confidence then you're ready for a relationship
>>
>>18530106
>>>/soc/
>>
>>18530123
Im not posting a selfie on 4chan rate mes are fucking dumb
>>
>>18526721
I wanna suck a big fat nigger cock!
>>
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>>18530120
>When you feel unenthusiastic when you see, hear, think of your ex is a good sign.
I guess I'm not ready yet. I still feel anxious when I see my ex on social media. Can't imagine how I'd feel if I saw her in real life.
>>
>>18529931
I mean, if someone loves you and is free, an you kind of love them and you're free. Why not?
>>
>>18530285
Oh no I don't even know if he feels about me the same way or not.
>>
I... finally learned how to take a shit without getting it all over my buttcheaks.
>>
>>18530309
And how is that?
>>
>>18530327
SQUAT dont sit bro
>>
>>18530333
Ah yeah need one of them squat things to do that.
>>
>>18530401
You have the necessary equipment, just practice your form
>>
Receiving you package after so long brought me good and bad feelings. I know the postal service of my country sucks, you sent that on February, when we were on our honeymoon stage, when our plans were all happy and our tastes and objectives match. But the distance, the side drama, our life problems started to put a strain... We both know well...

Opening that envelope was like entering in a time machine, I could feel in your words how much you loved me, how happy you were even this being just a LDR, but I have to tell you the truth... I didn't read it through... I couldn't, sorry... because it's not what we have now, I know you don't feel the same after 5 months of troubles and it was hurting me, it was overwhelming and painful... we were so happy and now we have nothing.

I slept with your shirt, like I said I would, I haven't took it off yet... I want to feel you, I want to feel that's you touching my skin, that your scent get mixed with mine, at least just once... The jewelry set is gorgeous, you know my taste well and it was a great surprise you remembered my favorite crystal, but I can't wear it for the same reason I can't finish reading the letter. I'll be carrying you with me, a past you, the lover that wished to cross the ocean, the one that saw me for who I am despite my troubles and insecurities, the one who wrote a poem about becoming one together and making our dreams come true...

Yet it's not who you are or how you feel now, we had our chance and screwed up, I know I fucked up too, I'm sorry... If I could go back in time, I'd change everything to avoid losing you. I cherish everything we had together and I'm thankful for everything you've done for me... I hope we have another chance in the future, for now we have to heal and get strong enough for our own sake.

With love...
>>
I keep getting great advice from this site (or at least it seems like it is). I think now I've become addicted to asking for advice here and can't make my own decistions without asking first.
>>
I believe Jesus is real and he hears my prayers
>>
>>18528483
Thanks anon. I'm trying to do that today. Today is gonna be a happy day.
>>
We talked again and it was an awesome discussion once again. I've changed her opinion on a future with a marriage for the better and she's done the same with me. Maybe other parts of our future can come into a more positive light
>>
>>18530671
I feel that Anon. If you're anything like me, this board is your opportunity to ask for advice about things that would be difficult to talk about even with a good IRL support system. I'm not even sure what kind of advice to give about this. Maybe try and use the responses you get from here to learn to advise yourself? Confiding and getting advise is healthy, but I guess the end goal is to be able to add that perspective to your toolbox for later situations
>>
>>18530671

I'm a regular here now due to post like these. To be honest, I know I won't be able to help myself too much, Solomon's Paradox, but I'm glad whenever someone that's going through something similar tells me I helped. I have learned a lot though through others. Sometimes I wish I could have gained this long ago, it would have prevented a lot of pain for those I loved and myself.

The most important thing I have learned. Remove yourself from your emotions when you feel troubled. They tend to blind you to the perspectives of others. They can make you deaf to the voice of those you love. And at times you can become numb to them due to overexposure. They are important, but sometimes being able to remove them from the equation grants you clarity.

It's a bit of a sting because I will never get a chance to fix what I lost, but whenever I get someone else to cool down and look at their relationship issues a bit more logically, maybe even with some empathy, I'm glad to have that experience.

tl;dr thanks /adv/
>>
She won't touch me sexually at all. I love her but I'm going fucking insane, getting to a point where I either shut down my feelings completely or I can't cope with the fact I have needs she won't take care of or even try to.

I love her and want to marry her but this is driving me up the wall for months. How can she see what it does to us and not try to at least make me not feel completely rejected in this area? I need release and after 9 months of rocky stuff in this area, I get extremely depressed if I masturbate, which was already bad when I was single. I don't want to see anyone else. I don't want her to leave me and I don't want to leave her. We're under a lot of stress, but the pressure on me is overwhelming and my partner not even trying to ease it makes me feel like any intimacy we had is gone.

I don't know how long I can go on like this.
>>
I've got some incredibly petty rage.

About a week ago, I sent out one of those things with which to coordinate a meeting. You know, everyone fills out the dates they're available. Two days later someone in that group sent one out for another group we're both part of. He hasn't responded yet to the one I sent out, but now I'm the only one who hasn't responded to the one he sent out, and people are waiting for me.

But we're both trying to plan shit in the same timeframe. I'm just kind of pissed that he picked the exact same fucking time to start getting shit done as I did, but is unwilling to humour me. I've had to hear for half a year "when are you starting this thing Anon?" And now when I'm starting it, he's cockblocking me with this bullshit, and keeping his options open in favour of his own thing, despite me being first.

I fucking hate shit like this. I can take it when people take a while to respond to shit like this, but fucking CLEARLY he knows when he'll be available for shit, because he already filled it out. On his own form. So now I either have to look like a dick, or I have to screw myself over, because he's acting like a bitch.

And I'm especially pissed because I'm trying to organize a leisure activity people have been asking me for for ages. And now I'm doing it, and they're dragging their feet. This sort of shit is exactly why I wasn't thrilled to do it in the first place. The moment plans start becoming concrete, people turn into wishy-washy idiots and you have to hold their fucking hands every step of the way. And then it turns out they're perfectly capable of being decisive the moment their own plans are concerned.
>>
>>18529763
Some people just need time to theirselves to sort things out. I hope they come back to you anon.
>>
>>18529417
If I got a motorcycle it would probably be a Ninja 650 or a CBR500R.
As for the dog, my dream dog is a Samoyed, but I'd be fine with any other medium/big dog.

I'd really like having a dog to keep me company and help me meet new people, but having to move is a pain considering I love my current apartment (except for the fact that dogs aren't allowed).
>>
>>18530907
Yeah, I know this now. I wish it wasn't so hard to wait. Patience has never been a strength.

But it's important to live without before you can live with. So I have to learn from this.
>>
My GF abuses me emotionally. When I accidentally embarrass her in front of friends she will get angry at me and sometimes physically hurt me. She calls me shitty stuff in private like fat, weak and stupid, she will also rant to me about how shit I am. I really love her but its taking its toll and I feel depression kicking back in. I wanted to marry her but now I just want to leave but she threatened to kill herself. I'm trapped.
>>
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I dont want to go bald...but i also dont want to use all those hormone altering pills all my life
>>
>>18530966
You're not trapped anon. You can get free and be happy again with some work. You don't deserve this abuse at all, no one does. Call a hotline and talk it out with them. You'll be able to get help and the love you deserve
>>
>>18530966
You don't want to marry someone who treats you like that. Sounds like a typical case of the crazy bitches, if I may be so callous. Especially threatening suicide is a red flag. And that's exactly why you should leave her. Love isn't going to make her a better person, and frankly I don't think people with personality issues can become better. And this sounds like a personality issue.
>>
My life is going great except for the fact I have no close friends! I really want someone to talk about my day with. I've been alone for soo long at this point. I'm working on myself to bear with it, but sometimes I feel disheartened.
>>
>>18531016
I'm in the same situation.
My ex was my only close friend and now that she's gone I don't have anyone to talk to.
>>
>>18530684
>>18530698
Sssh, anxious thoughts. Stop creeping into my brain!

"If anything, this shows I'm flexible."
"You make me less afraid of that option."
"I think that's fair. Sure."

That's what I'm focusing on. Hope.
>>
>>18531016
>>18531022
Well, do either of you have any less-close friends? Maybe cultivating those relationships will help
>>
>>18531033
Not really, I grew apart from all of them.
I know I should go out and meet people, I just don't know where or how.
>>
>>18531045
There's tons of meetup sites out there, might be a good place to start. It can be awkward and intimidating to put yourself out there, but I think you already know how worth it it would be
>>
>>18529882
Dont pull the trigger, kick your bf out instead. You cant define yourself through your relationship. Being single youre as much valuable as in a relationship, if not more if he restrains you in any way. End it now and run away, focus on your friends, work etc.
You dont need someone who brings you down.
>>
>>18531074
No one uses meetup sites in my city unfortunately.
I guess I'll have to pick up social hobbies or attend events by myself.
>>
>>18530963
I'm in the same situation anon. I'm just trying to learn to be patient and hope things will return back to normal.
>>
You were supported by various people throughout your entire life. You have no room to say who'll never grow up or who'll never move out of their parent's house.
You're just a big, twenty four years old child, being supported by whatever dick you're tugging on. Try supporting yourself for a change, before you call yourself an adult.
Freelancing illustrator my ass, everyone knows you're a freeloading whatever-you-call-yourself-now.
>>
>>18531205
I understand this. So much.
Thank you anon. It helps to know I'm not the only one dealing with this sort of problem.
>>
>>18531274
Likewise. I'm using this time to try to discover myself again and improve myself.

Maybe it's for the better to have some time apart.
>>
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I had this really weird dream.
Me and this girl I used to love and be friends with years ago, were talking about something. I was visiting her for some reason.
In the middle of my visit we're in her room and suddenly something hurts her immensely. So I leave or something and talk with her dad. As we return she has gone outside and is missing.
I talk with some her friends and we cant find her anywhere.
Now it gets weird.
Were looking at spots she used to like to be at and theres these huts outside and this shrine dedicated to the dead.
We sleep for the night and the next day one of her friends is missing, and so I become really anxious and panicked and start looking everywhere, near a forest
too and see this weird as fuck tribal like women throwing stuff at me I chase her and whatnot before I finally
give up, go back to our camp and these huge, disfigured, mutants, tribal like men and women captured everyone at the camp.
the mens monsters are rapeing the women. I try to look for the girl I liked and see if I can find her somewhere but still nowhere,
the huge men grab their spears and attempt to chase me but I narrowly escape to a hut and they dont chase me for long.
I see a bunch of spears, and grab one, its huge, I want to go back and look for that girl, but I cant find her.
they notice me again and chase me, this time I try to fight them off but they rail me on a spear and slam me to the ground

then I wake up
>>
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>>18526730
Not an argument, Anon.
>>
P,
Why can't you tell me what you want? We haven't seen each other in two months and all those promises and things we did in that room seem to of never happened. I thought it was our closure. I message you just to ask about that band, and you tell me you miss me, you are going to move here soon and then tell me you wouldn't mind having a threesome with me and some other guy. What the fuck is wrong with you? Who would say that to an ex you supposedly still have feelings for. If you would have an ounce of respect for me and the relationship we had you wouldn't of brought up something so vulgar. I want to look back at what we had and be happy I was part of your life. I finally started dating again (and a really nice guy) so why I am I still muddled with feelings for you?
>>
It never occured to me it was his old work. People were posting those as examples of mastery when... they weren't. I'm sure he would agree with me on that too.

Still, I feel absolutely retarded. I want to die. I'm sorry.
>>
I hate how uncute I am. I'm 5'5" but I have such a stocky build and hairy. I wish I would have been born later, so then i could have changed something through medicine. I have a friend that went through hrt, I don't think I would have gone that far, but I wanted to be cute. When I see her dressed up I get so envious. It's a conflicting feeling. I want to fuck her and be her at the same time. I want to jam it in and feel her inside me. This is so confusing shame I'm so old now.
>>
I hate myself. I say stupid shit all the time and I'm just an awful person. I want to die.

If there is a gun in that closet I'm going to kill myself as soon as I find it.
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