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Can the "good women are rare, all women fornicate"

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Can the "good women are rare, all women fornicate" meme die?? You're looking for women to have sex with but you don't want women who've had sex.

I see a lot of threads on here about men in their late teens/early twenties who've never dated anyone, and their usual concern is that they want a qt3.14 who will suck their dick. I always feel weird about it because I'm a 19yo woman, I've never done anything w/ a man and I don't plan on doing anything w/ a man until I'm married. At this point, I'm just trying to find someone who doesn't obviously think that sex is a part of a courting relationship; I end relationships before they begin bc the expectation of sex before commitment seems obvious to me. (This thought is definitely validated in this board.)

Are there men out there who respect that for a woman to remain a virgin, it means she can't have sex with them? And, if so, where are they and how do I find them?

>inb4 "at church" bc you know I'm already looking there
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Have you tried Church?
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>>18524625
find a little beta
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>>18524641
I've tried church
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>>18524625
OP. I'm a male anon and I've had casual relationships and have been in committed relationships. You have to find someone who will tell you what they want outright. That man can be anywhere and you just have to make sure what they want is in line with what you want. I always make what I want clear and I made the mistake of lying to others and myself.
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>>18524643
that's probably good personal advice, but doesn't it seem a little weird that for a woman to stay a virgin until marriage, she has a to marry a beta?
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>>18524660
"Committed relationships" as in long term relationships in which you didn't have sex?
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There are definetely men out there who will want to wait for sex until marriage, though they are rare and probably rarer than girls.
As for where to find them, all I can really imagine would be church, though I will admit that there are a lot of people who seem to believe that "that certain passage wasn't meant like that"
In my church, there are a lot girls and guys who are waiting, including myself (though I won't have to wait much longer)
There are probably some other people outside of churches or religions who will respect that wish, but I doubt there are many of them or any certain places where to find them.
Also note that just because they want to wait, they don't sometimes make wrong moves, it's not always easy to abstain, even if you want to, you'll just need to have the strength to say no then, and if they actually care, they will stop
Good luck with your search though, and stay strong, as I said, even if you both are determined to wait, it's not always easy.
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>>18524684
Your church sounds very hip. Like the church I go to is full of old people, married people, and children. I don't see people my age who aren't in a committed relationship already or are too old to pursue.
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>>18524625
> doesn't obviously think that sex is a part of a courting relationship
You are gonna get cheated on
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>>18524693
Yes, age-wise, we are a very balanced church, which, sadly, is an exception, I guess.
I personally didn't meet my fiancée in church, though we both go to church now, I wasn't all that much of a churchgoer before I met her.
So why did I not have sex yet? Mostly because I was raised to value sex enough to at least not just casually fuck around, and I never really met a girl that sparked my interest. Sure, I had a crush or two, but they were crushes, not people I actually loved.
So for me it wasn't just determination, but also God's will, luck or whatever you want to call it, but I can, with a little pride, say that I abstained by my own will for at least 4 years.
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>>18524625
I respect that. You can not have sex until marriage and I can not have a relationship with you. Simple.
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>>18524666
Yes it is kinda messed up that as a women staying a Virgin until marriage requires being with a beta. Not trying to sound like a retard from /r9k/ but modern society is more liberal when it comes to sexuality. Men know there's women out there that would and are willing to have sex with them at the drop of a hat. And women know that they don't need to stay completely absence of sex in order to get a good man who won't mind. I've only had 2 relationships and both with virgins that weren't very interested in having sex anytime soon(one wanted to stay a virgin until marriage) and after a few deep make out session I got them horny enough where having sex is a no Brainer at that point of out relationship (one month in).
Find a church filled with people your age if you want? What state?
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>Are there men out there who respect that for a woman to remain a virgin, it means she can't have sex with them?
I mean sure, I'll respect that's what you want to do. That doesn't it's not a dealbreaker too. I played that game, but eventually we broke up. She later fucked a bunch of guys to spite me. Honestly while I haven't had sex since it's not something I really think is worth waiting for anymore.
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Male here, I joined an abstinence group online. We're rare, male and female, but we do exist. What I've noticed as a trend, though, was that a lot of the guys are dorky and shy around girls, some asking me for advice on talking to girls. I wonder how many of them legitimately feel called to abstinence. They're also weirded out that I'm not religious but still abstinent.

There's your view from the inside.
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>>18524709
Congrats on the chastity and the fiancee, honestly. God bless you.

>>18524717
>>18524750
Obviously, I'm not interested in dating you if you're interested in sex outside of marriage. I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm looking for a husband to have children with and I believe men who practice chastity (even if they aren't necessarily virgins anymore) are more likely to stay faithful to me and my future kids. So, this goes both ways lol.

>>18524723
Honestly, I get that in theory I could find a man who I could have sex with outside of marriage and it wouldn't ruin my life, but I don't see why I should have to compromise and take a risk like that. If the first walks away, it'll be easier to offer sex to the next guy I date, then any guy I date, and then I'm cycling through relationships without getting one to settle down and I either end up an old maid with no children or a single mother. Or it all works out idk. Still feels like a risk. I live in North Missouri, not too far from Kansas City btw.

>>18524760
Lol, I've thought about joining an abstinence group. I'm not very good at keeping up online relationships tho, so idk? Also that's seems to be what a lot of guys in the church group are like: not exactly abstinent by choice.
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>>18524625

I have a question to pose to you anon, you're saying that the only thing you will offer is basically a friendship. I also imagine you expect the male to spend money on you buying gifts, taking you out to eat, and be willing to prioritize you over other things.

Why would anyone willingly do that when it's incredibly possible you will
1) cheat
2)monkey branch later on
3) end the relationship for an arbitrary reason

What possible reason would anyone have to trust you?
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>>18525100
Her word. Because you see, she is such a good girl. Didn't you read the first post? She says it right there.
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>>18525080
>I'm not very good at keeping up online relationships tho
I've had to get good at it due to the area where I live. Amusingly enough, I found one in my area, but her texts were so offputting that I didn't really bother following up. Still, the whole online relationship thing is something I've come accept as necessary.

>that's seems to be what a lot of guys in the church group are like: not exactly abstinent by choice
Hah, I've noticed. I've had actual conversations coaching small talk.
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>>18524625

>Can the "good women are rare, all women fornicate" meme die??

It can't. So long as the internet continues to breed horribly insecure internet men with no real life experience women will continue to be a scapegoat for their frustration.

The meme has little to do with women and mostly to do with the fact that we live in a generation of very disillusioned kids who no longer view failure as an opportunity to grow or learn but as motivation to hate and develop bitterness. The era of helicopter parenting has instilled into children this entitlement that reinforces the idea that they are inherently valuable regardless of whether or not they put in any work. These children are raised on the internet where there are little to no consequences for their words or actions. Thoughtful personal development and introspection skills are replaced with mindless anonymity and instance access to communities who purposefully isolate themselves from anybody and anything who disagrees with their ideology.

This meme has been born from an entire generation of men who look at the generation before them and feel worthless. They grew up their entire lives believing that success and greatness were at their fingertips but as soon as they hit the unforgiving reality of the real world they realized that they aren't inherently valuable; they aren't the special, great men their mothers and fathers convinced them they were. They hit this reality and in response to the harsh truth of their inadequacies their only learned response is to become angry and throw a tantrum. They've never been taught to become better people because they grew up never being challenged to do so.

Virginity and the morality of sex isn't the issue. The issue is this generation's inability to process real life disappointment and disagreement like adults. The issue is they don't know how to feel valuable without making other people feel invaluable.

Anyways, good luck.
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>>18525080
> Men who practice chastity are more likely to remain faithful to me
Wrong. Faithful attitudes do not come from number of partners. (Insert graph here.) It comes from meeting his needs. Do you know how to meet a man's needs?

My advice is to go lesbo know and save some guy the heartache. You can still be a virgin and munch rug.
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>>18524625
>At this point, I'm just trying to find someone who doesn't obviously think that sex is a part of a courting relationship
So why don't you use church as a dating pool?
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Why are girls like this?
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Me personally I've thought about fucking plenty of women but if it's someone who I believe I can really love I actually want the opposite. I want to keep them a virgin (or as close as possible) as long as possible (until marriage) because while I believe it is a part of a relationship I have no urges to do anything other than hold them and be romantic, I don't think of sex nor do I want it.
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>>18525183
Why should marriage change anything? Why is it suddenly acceptable to fuck a woman after you've said a lot of bullshit you don't mean in front of an old guy in a dress who is probably a pedo, to an imaginary sky father who, even if It does exist, in all likelihood couldn't care less?

Concentrate on learning how to communicate with your partner. That, more than anything else, will cement a relationship.
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>>18524625
Yes they do, but they are rare, especially among those board and losers.

You want a man who is not an egoist and who actually loves you, not "loves what you can offer him". You're making the best choice really. I hope you never waiver, because when you find that man he will love and appreciate you so much.

Yes, some guys just love and appreciate being in the company of a great woman. They'll spend all day looking forward to hanging out with you again. They will listen and understand you, and probably offer a lot to you, because they are not egoists.
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>>18525080
I never said I'd date you, I said I respected your choice by doing the opposite of dating you. I am a man, I have a biology that I won't betray in the hopes of having decent, matching and abundant sex with a special girl who enjoys sex so much that she's willing to wait half her life to have it. But I do respect that.
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>>18525134

>muh boomer logic
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>>18525100
>>18525108
Whoo, boy, we've got some salt. Loving someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them and eventually have sex with them when the time is right isn't the same as "friendship." It's called loving someone. And loving someone isn't expecting things in return, ie money, expensive dates, monopoly on their time, so no, I don't expect these things. I expect to be loved and respected. Is SEX really the deciding factor on whether or not you love someone? I think love is a little more than penis in vagina, but I guess I'm naive and sentimental.

>>18525116
Hm, maybe I'll give an online group a shot and see where it goes then lol.

>>18525134
That was actually very insightful and I actually completely agree with it. Thank you.

>>18525164
Lmao, okay anon. Because a man never matures past 16 years old and all they want is pussy. Sex is all that's fulfilling in a relationship and once I lose my youth and beauty I have no luck to keep my man.

>>18525166
I do, but my church is mostly older people, people already married, children etc. :/

>>18525179
Because they're told, like I'm being told a lot in this thread, that sex is the only way to get a man and make him stay. (It's still their fault for not being stronger, but it's not coming from no where.)

>>18525212
Whoa, edgy. Marriage is a sacrament, which is specifically designed for the rearing of children, children being a naturally unavoidable end to sex, so... Marriage protects the family.
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>>18525212
Because marriage seems like the ultimate agreement, the time to have children and to advance the relationship to the final stages. I don't care about the certification it is an agreement between two people to spend their lives together with each other, to cement their commitment to each other.

I prefer traditional marriage rather than the edgy "let's live together but we don't need marriage because we're against "the man"
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>>18525273
>I do, but my church is mostly older people, people already married, children etc. :/

Your pastor probably wouldn't be too angry with you if you joined a young adults/ youth group at a different church as long as you still showed up to "his" Sunday Services.

As well: Christian dating sites?
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>>18525100
Not the OP, but you seem to have a very odd concept of what a relationship should be like
From what you're writing here, it sounds like all a girl has to offer is sex and all a man is able to do is buy her stuff.
As I said, I am not the OP, but I have a girlfriend who's holding similar views and it's nothing like that at all.
We enjoy each other's companies, neither of us has to pay anything and rarely does, unless we want to.
We don't spend a lot of money anyway, but since it's clear that we want to marry (and has been for a long time already) the money was mostly regarded as ours anyway.
In a way, it is like a friendship, but with a greater goal and much more emotional security, trust and generally being close, both physically and emotionally.
Sure, that's not a reason to trust someone, but then again why trust anyone at all?
Like with everyone else, you will get to know a person slowly and then you will see if she's the type who cheats or not.
Now I am pretty sure that, compared to most modern girls, I found a unicorn, but dismissing someone just because you need sex above everything else is stupid.
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>>18525314

No, you don't understand. It's a realistic view anon. You clearly have never been cheated on or not or at least not in a relationship you genuienly cared about. Imagine your unicorn gf telling you she loves you and then going and sleeping with someone else.

You're the one who seems to think that all people in all relationships are well meaning and clearly if someone is a cheater/shitty person there are warning signs and red flags, there aren't.
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>>18525380
Yes, of course it can happen, that's not what I meant was that none of what you said is exclusive to people who wait, and I am, though not certain, pretty sure that that happens more with people who will not want to wait.
You also made it sound like, if someone who wants to wait breaks up with you, it was all for nothing, which would apparently not have been the case if you had sex.
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>>18525273
Sex isn't the deciding factor. But if you've kissed people before you know that some people just don't match. Even if you're good at kissing, you'll never be good kissing that person. The same is true for sex. Why should he and you risk having bad sex for the rest of your lives?

And yes, sex is very important within a couple.

You said that he has to wait so that maybe he'll have sex when the time is right for you. What about if the right time for him is right now? Why are you worth more than him? You sound entitled as fuck desu.

I'm not saying you have to give in to his every wish, but some people have different needs. Let's imagine you get married not being intimate before hand. And only one of you likes anal, or oral, or foot kinks... What then? You're both doomed to unfulfilling sex?
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>>18525380
>hopeless incel tells someone in a relationship that they dont understand relationships
dude you're pathetic. you're a caricature. you exist to serve as an example to others what not to be.
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>>18525307
I keep getting that suggestion, and I'm thinking about it. My fear is that it would be awkward bc it won't be a very natural progression from getting to know each other to dating? Like I'm afraid it would feel like we were immediately dating as soon as I started talking to someone, and I don't know how I feel about that. I don't really know because I've never done a dating site before lol.

>>18525344
I just- I AM religious, and I do think there's both a religious and societal cause to wait until marriage. I think it's obvious in the way our society has changed (fatherlessness, for example) that fornication causes degeneracy and the break down of the family, and I don't want to contribute to that. (And I seriously don't want to have to decide before I get married when the "right time" to have sex is. It makes sense that when you're married is the right time. Any time before that seems like a gamble.)

>>18525380
I'm sorry someone broke your heart, anon. Truly, I am. :( I can't imagine someone cheating on me, and neither can I imagine cheating on someone else. It's one of the reasons I take sex so seriously. It's not a game; relationships in general aren't a game. Decisions in regards to relationships and sex should be taken gravely serious bc it's directly and intimately affecting someone else.
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>>18525437
I'm not underestimating the importance of sex in a relationship. I imagined it was something you'd discuss when you were getting more serious about the relationship. As in, is there a possibility we're not sexually compatible. EX: If I had a foot fetish and he didn't, it'd be something to discuss. And even though I know it's not perfect, because saying is a lot different than doing, I still don't feel like it's a good enough reason to give up on waiting until marriage and I'd rather not think that I'd base my relationship entirely on sexual gratification alone.
I'd also like to think that whoever theoretical boyfriend I had wouldn't hand me an ultimatum of "Sex or GTFO." I'm NOT saying I'm worth more than a man, I'm saying we're BOTH worth more than sex. There's a huge difference.
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>>18525273
>Because they're told, like I'm being told a lot in this thread, that sex is the only way to get a man
That's preposterous

>women are only flamboyant because they're told to be
Do you also believe that sexuality is contrived, that people don't have a primal urge to fuck?
You are the one who needs to check in with ground control
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>>18524649
Find another church
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>>18524625
Men don't want relationships without sex. Sex is important for intimacy too. If you intend to wait years after meeting a guy you like before marrying him no sex is going to put a strain on your relationship. If you really just don't want or like the idea of sex in general aside from babymaking, find a man who is somewhat asexual, low in testosterone, or whatever you want to call it and date him. But if you do want to have sex and just only want to do it in marriage, the guy who didn't mind not fucking you for 3 years isn't going to become a horny beast once the ring is on your finger. This is why I believe sex should be confined to serious monogamous relationships and not to marriage.
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>>18525796
>Men don't want relationships without sex.
wtf some of them do, stop bullshitting.
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>>18525134

>>The issue is they don't know how to feel valuable without making other people feel invaluable.

Not saying that your point isn't valid, but I assume you meant "less valuable" and not "invaluable" - to make other people feel invaluable would mean to make them feel extremely valuable.
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>>18525813
And he said that those guys are either asexual or low test. Is he wrong? the guys who claim they dont want sex before marriage and all that shit are guys who dont have a sex drive or sex life to begin with.
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>>18525813
Nonsense. Men are just fucking machines. How could they ever not want to be having sex 100% of the time?

Yes, you're right. I'm one of them probably from depression, but the emotional connection means a lot more than just getting off.
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Become a Mormon. I'm not even fucking with you.

t. Ex Mormon
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>>18525840
Somehow I've never met a mormon woman. Are they all locked up in the temple or something?
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>>18525850
Mormons often tend to stick around their own kind. Those who do socialize outside of the church are generally quite silent about it due to the stigma.
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>>18525777
Trips of truth, wtf.

I think it's perfectly natural to have an urge to reproduce. I also think it's perfectly natural to want to make good decisions that'll improve your quality of life and that of your loved ones. I'm not asking anyone not to want to fuck, but to control that urge, which I'm sure we're capable of doing. I'm also saying that there's a lot of societal pressure to have sex, even if you want to wait.

>>18525796
I guess I don't understand what you think a "serious monogamous relationship" is? At what point is it serious enough to have sex, which could feasibly lead to unwanted pregnancy which creates another person that is solely your responsibility, but not to get married? Men want sex, but they apparently don't want commitment, so who's to say he doesn't bounce if I get pregnant? As for finding a guy who's "somewhat asexual," I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind that, but I hate the implication that Alpha males NEED to fuck CONSTANTLY and they just simply can't control themselves for anything. It's like... how are we going to fix society if we can't even control something so basic?

>>18525835
>or a sex life to begin with
I think this is the main issue we're skirting around. I'm not saying celibate men don't get horny, but it's easier to say no if you haven't had sex before, and there simply aren't any men who haven't had sex. "There are so few virgin women." There are even less virgin men.

>>18525837
>the emotional connection means a lot more than just getting off
This. Seriously.

>>18525840
I wish I could, but I'm pretty much set as a Catholic. I really can't change my opinion on it, but I appreciate the suggestion.
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>>18525981
>"There are so few virgin women." There are even less virgin men.
I think I almost died laughing, this is fucking priceless.

If this isn't a troll I think you're just kind of naive about society.
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>>18525222
Oh, I missed this one. Thanks, that actually warmed my heard.
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>>18525981
The thing you and I think a lot of women mix up is treating "emotional connection" and "getting off" as opposite things when they are very tied together for most men. It's hard for men to feel loved in a sexless relationship. It might work if you decide to marry a guy as soon as you feel like you love him, which could just take some months, but most people don't do that.

It's not "MALE NEED TO FUCK", but men do generally have higher sex drives a whole and it is more physical-need based than it is for women.

If you don't want to get pregnant the solution is obviously birth control, but you're a catholic so I assume that is a no. There's also sexual acts not involving penis/vagina intercourse, which could suffice if you're open to that.
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>>18526020
I don't think emotional connection and getting off are opposite, I think getting off is the most emotionally connect a couple can get. That's why it should be reserved for the most committed relationship, in marriage. But I DO agree with you that most women see it on opposite sides of the spectrum; they're quick to blow a guy and think it doesn't mean anything, that it's just a chore. It's really sad. I also agree that men are more physical-need based than women, which I think women should acknowledge, but I don't think that means sex/sexual acts are the only way to be affectionate.
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>>18526109
It's not the only way, but it's hard to get that connected without at some point doing it. For most people there is some amount of waiting time between when they feel fully loving with each other and marriage, and that waiting time is often years, because people want to make sure they are making the right choice.
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>>18524625
But good women are rare, and so are good men. A large majority of people are shitty selfish assholes who are completely obsessed with their own personal drama.
I'd say about 80% of people are undatable for a long term relationship. I don't even care if they had sex or a past, just that they have figured themselves our and are stable and that is extremely hard to find, even in my mid 30s.
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>>18524723
nothing wrong with dating betas unless you wish to become a single mother because your unempathic alpha male left you.
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>>18526001
Upon consideration, my statement was retarded. Whoops.
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>>18526166
thats tru...
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>>18526001
>>18526178
What I think I meant was there are more virgin-by-choice women than virgin-by-choice men. As in there is a larger population of women who want to wait until marriage than men. There are more virgin men, but not by choice; the system is just fucking them.
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>>18526182
I just laughed and lost in an advice thread.
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>>18526192
There are just as much ugly women as there are ugly men in my opinion. Both of the ugly sexes just seem to think they should get a non ugly partner.
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>>18524625

Honestly, I've heard so many stories of guys who waited for their partner to have sex, only for their partner go and cheat on them and lose their virginity to some random dude, or they had already actually had sex and just lied about it until later in the relationship. I think most men just have a hard time trusting that something like that isn't going to happen. I think I have just been unlucky but the majority of women I have dated or even just known were either really fickle, prone to cheating, or both, so the idea that a woman is going to actually stay faithful and engaged long enough for the sex to actually come in the way it is being promised in your hypothetical situation seems kind of sketchy to me. I hope you can find someone who is willing to have some faith in you.
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>>18526219
I think there are about as many ugly women as there are men... I think the discrepancy could be attributable to the difference in IQ ratios between men and women. Women are overwhelmingly average, while there are quite a few retarded males and then quite a few VERY brilliant men. I think it's hard for women to venture out of their IQ zone and hit it up with a guy who's either retarded or a guy who's a lot smarter than them. (Women are kinda vain and they don't generally like to believe people are smarter than them.) So they keep fucking the same Chads over and over.
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>>18526235
You have that very wrong. In regards to IQ most men are very average too. I'm a psychologist and I administer IQ tests. Granted, I will give you that I see more men with very high IQs but I also test more men in general. Almost all the people I test are average though. I can go months without getting someone above 115, the internet has just fooled everyone into thinking they are super smart special snowflakes. Also, the person with the current highest IQ on record is a female, Marilyn vos Savant. I really wish people understood IQ ranges and tests, and stopped taking internet ones.
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>>18526230
Thanks, anon, and I'm sorry about the stories you've heard. The realest issue is that there's just not a lot of trust going around these days, and then when trust is given, it can be abused. :/
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>>18526249
So this is just a meme??
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>>18526253
Yup
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>>18526258
Fuck. What the fuck. I based my whole life on that.
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>>18526258
wrong, the sample size used for that graph is much larger than "the people i have tested"
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>>18526264
I'm sorry you are threatened by the fact that i said most men are very average in intellect as well. It still doesn't change the fact that I am right in this. I have nothing to prove to you, believe what you wish.
>>
>>18526269
But you gotta admit, there is quite the difference between those two curves in that graph up there. That's significant for a population.
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>>18526235
Wow, that is the first time I have ever head someone make that claim. In fact, I have heard the opposite, that men prefer less intelligent women, dozens of not hundreds of times. Do you have any evidence to back up your statement?
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>>18525570
Ah, the bullshit graphs. I was wondering when those would pop up.

Truth be told, this thread is all a moot point. I can't tell you the number of 18 and 19 year old sister Christians who swore off sex before 21 at my college. Then they find God's gift to horny 20 somethings, alcohol. Next thing you know, they're lubing black pole like a champ, and God takes a back seat.

The only ones you have to watch out for are the ones who try to buy back their V card with a rape charge.
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>>18526381
>sex before 21
not to be one of those "they're not really X", but if it's that easy to change their mind, one has to ask hw serious they were about it in the first place or if it wasn't just a facade for parents or their consciousness

as for OP, a man being willing to not have sex with you until marriage mostly means he respects you, not that he is low test, asexual or anything similar. Sure, it might be an indicator, but it might just as well be an indicator that he has himself in check and doesn't give in to urges easily, that's something you'll probably find out along the way though.

as for this
>
If you don't want to get pregnant the solution is obviously birth control, but you're a catholic so I assume that is a no. There's also sexual acts not involving penis/vagina intercourse, which could suffice if you're open to that.

you don't seem like you would and I'd recommend you don't do that. I'm sure the anon only means to help, but if you belive that ALL sexual intimacy belongs into marriage, then you should not make compromises, there's already enough people who think that's not real sex, and therfore it's okay.
and don't try the Mormon thing, mst of them are good people, but they're anything but christian.
>>
Don't fall for this. Here's what will happen if go out with a woman who wants you to wait

>agree with what she asks and don't try to have sex with her
>wait patiently for months or however fucking long
>one day you come home early unexpectedly
>find her in bed with another man
>"You're just so unassertive! I couldn't bring myself to be attracted to you. Really this is your fault"
>>
>>18524625
Some people obviously don't mind waiting till marriage and some do but are indifferent if you just tell them in advance.
Why people take offense at that is mostly the fact that she is waiting for marriage with you, but either has had sex with someone else already or will probably fuck someone else on the first date anyways.
>>
>>18525570
So if you are incompatible or unfulfilling in bed what then? I'm curious. Should he get the butt sex threesomes outside? I mean he waited for years to bed you just to find you a disappointment... You won, but he's bound to lose? I'm just wondering what do you have to offer to this man, where does he win? You don't want sex and want a relationship. You get a relationship. What does he get?

Mind you that biologically men are wired to spread the seed. So I'm speaking in biological terms, guys will crave sex with a number of partners. He violated his biological imperative for you and your beliefs. What did he get in return?
>>
>>18526741
Cont.

I'm asking very simple questions.

Another one. You ask him additional sacrifice, which is fair. What do YOU have to offer in return? Except for the uncertainty of compatibility in bed? I mean something for the poor hypothetical guy. I mean you are saving yourself for him, you must love him. What do you have to give him that's so much better than other girls out there?
>>
>>18526746
What you don't understand is that what she's asking for is not someone who gives up on something but wants that in the first place.
Stop thinking from your perspective, the question is where to find people who already think the way she does.
She's looking for someone who knows that there might be incompatibility and all that but willingly risks that not just with her but would for any other girl as well.
>>
>>18524625
Sex is an important part of a relationship, how would you feel if after married you discovered that you were sexually incompatible?

I want long term relationships, one night stands are shit. But I'm not gonna marry a woman who I don't know sexually.
>>
>>18526762
Wants to not reproduce? Someone who doesn't have the biological imperative?

And would do for any other girl? Man, I've been physically compatible with less than 1/4 of the people I've been with. This doesn't account for different preferences, sexual appetite. If a guy is waiting let's say 3 years to get married and breaks up immediately after being just physically incompatible and waits another year to find someone psychologically compatible that's 16 years with virtually no sex just to find someone who, again, might have differences in sexual preference and drive. Do you realise how inane you sound?

And guess what she'd do after spending those few years not having sex just to be dumped (or dump the guy) just because the sex is tasteless? Yes, she'll surely become celibate for another 4 years whilst having her eggs drying up.

I'm not saying that sex is the be all and end all of relationships, but it's surely important. And no, it doesn't mean just fuck anything that moves, but it's something natural. If you want a relationship just make sure the other person wants it too and if you feel the chemistry, go for it. Make it special and enjoy.
>>
>>18526939
I'm not saying that should be the lifestyle for every single person in the world, if you want to have sex with your partners, and they want too, that's great and you should, by all means, go ahead and do it.
But there are definetely men and women out there who would like to wait until marriage with sex and the question at hand is, how and where do you find them?
As for the sexual incompatibility, if you have nothing to compare, it will surely make it easier to be compatible with your partner. Sure, there can and probably still will be some parts where you won't agree, but generally speaking, you should be fine, you have a lifetime to make ends meet.
I also doubt that someone who waited years for sex and then married will break up over that rather than try and work on it
>>
lol OP, don't look for answers on 4chan, there will always be people that disagree with you. I personally find it great that you are willing to wait, I don't put value on my virginity, but I do think if a guy loves he should be able to wait. I was heartbroken when I used to crush on a guy and he cheated after 2 months because I wasn't putting out, only a week before I was ready (I kid you not). I did meet a very few sweet guy, he works hard, is smart and never bothered me with any sexual or perverted questions. We have an amazing sex life and have been married for years, was pure luck for me though. I really hope you will find a good guy too and I'm sure not all of them are beta.
>>
>>18526955
>Sure, there can and probably still will be some parts where you won't agree, but generally speaking, you should be fine, you have a lifetime to make ends meet.

Assuming you really exist, doing what you preach and never had sex before, let me tell you: it's not about agreeing or disagreeing. It's something very very primal, and unquantifiable, but some people are just not meant for each other (sexually) and will NEVER become compatible no matter how hard they try.
>>
>>18527024
I can assure you that I am real and ractice what I preach and I am aware that this might happen, but personally, it's a risk that I am willing to take, but I know that it's a risk, which is why I am also not trying to force or convince anyone to do the same.
And I admit that "agreeing" was a poorly chosen word for what I meant
>>
>>18527033
Some things you can't fix over time. Some people are just incompatible. I won't want a devil's threesome, some girls can't do without them. Some guys like to be cucked, some women don't want to have sex with some other guy.

And then there's physically.

Penises and vaginas come in a plethora of different shapes and sizes, some of them just don't do anything for each other. I've had women for whom I'm too big, for some I'm too small. Some it's the shape.

Don't downplay it, it's a very important part of relationships, that's why there are so many rules set by churches and societies.
>>
>>18526307
I have no evidence at all. It was just late night theorizing, so it's probably completely wrong. But even though I've also heard the opposite, I've never seen any evidence of it either; though, it would make sense that men would like "less intelligent women," since a considerable portion of men are empirically more intelligent. (That's if you feel IQ is an accurate representation of intelligence, of course.)

>>18526481
Exactly. I'm not trying to convert anyone, which is why I don't want to force a guy into a relationship if he expects sex, which is the reason why I don't date. I'm not a cock-tease.

>>18526504
Lmao, yes because I, and a multitude of other women, would waste time trying to find a man who wants to wait just to fuck some random who doesn't respect me. Maybe you should raise your standards on who you're dating if this seems like a common occurrence to you. Either that or you're a virgin and you've fallen for the All Women Are Sluts meme.

>>18526741
>>18526746
>>18526939
So women are completely worthless in a relationship if they aren't good at sex. Women have nothing to offer men, because men obviously don't want to have a meaningful relationship and kids. I think your issue is that you keep referring to women as interchangeable, and you seem to think I think men are interchangeable. I'm looking for exactly one man. That's it. I don't even need to date more than one, if I'm lucky. We'll figure out the sexual compatibility like adults. And, honestly, I think men's biological imperative to want their children to be taken care of and protected supersedes their need to "spread the seed."

>>18526963
I'm sorry to hear about the guy who cheated on you :( But I'm glad you've found someone and it all worked out. I wasn't exactly looking to 4chan for real advice, more to hear the sound board of different opinions, see what's happening outside my bubble. It's entertaining, at least.
>>
>>18526481
The girls I knew were all very serious at 19. As in you couldn't pry their knees apart with the Jaws of Life. They were planning the baby shower on the first date.

Every single one had the same Disney fantasy. Every single one thought that, if she just said no long enough, some rich prince would sweep them off their feet.

Fast forward a few years. No prince, just loneliness. Some guy in a suit offers them a bit of attention and a few vodka cranberries, and they crack. Hard.

And trust me, when a virgin girl finally does crack, she cracks. She lives through every slutty fantasy she ever had. I cracked two in my life, and my dick almost fell off from all the sex.

Good times.
>>
>>18527089

I never said women are worthless or that they don't have more to offer other than sex. Or that men do not want meaningful relationships. There's no "the one". If you do find a good one and he goes, you'll find another one. That's why you never said what makes you special. You know that there are girls just like you, but that put out and can have the same life you aspire to, but with quality sex for them and their partners.
>>
>>18524625
my mom waited until marriage as well and got married to my dad in 93. he wasn't a beta virgin and waited 5 years for her because he loved her that much. there's men out there you just have to find the right one. if you're an all around catch except for the sex part you can definitely find someone to stick around
>>
Allowing women to use the internet greatly degenerates this board. Guess I'll have to find another place these yahoos haven't soiled.
>>
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>>18528015
>falling for the meme this hard
You're on the advice board, dude lmao
>>
>>18528015
Good riddance.
>>
>>18524625
YEah dude the guys here suck. There's the occasional one that sticks out, but for the most part they're all idiots here. But I mean what'd you expect, it is 4chin after all.

I've only been with two guys and the first one was a horrible terrible choice. Screwed up there. Second guy is better. He's no Chad but he's good. He didn't expect sex and was willing to wait as long as I said so, of course he had some trouble controlling every now and then but he has always respected me.

I'm hoping there won't be a #3.

They're out there OP. It just takes time and luck.
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