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Last night my girlfriend called me a moocher and threw a bottle

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Last night my girlfriend called me a moocher and threw a bottle of water at me.

Her family is middle class. They don't have much money, and her dad is a real penny pincher which may or may not be the only reason their family has money. Her dad worked retail, and her mom was a social worker, but her dad now gets disability and her mom has been unemployed for several years. I know they claim their yearly income at 30K a year, so they are not loaded by any means.

On my end, my dad left when I was 3, and he was murdered when I was 17. My mom has been unemployed since I was born and collect disability. Both of my parents are high school drop outs, albeit I believe they both received their GED. I also received a GED in lieu of finishing high school, and then I worked for several years to help out with my moms bills and stuff.

Then I met my current girlfriend. She was going to a community college, and I figured why the hell don't I take some classes? I enjoy history and if I didn't have work I'd go to the campus library and read while she was in class. So I signed up for classes and in three semester I transferred to a university with a 3.9 GPA.

Here I am. I am doing a couple internships right now, and working a job while in school, but my mom doesn't have the money to supplement any needed income. So, if we ever needed money to make ends meet, that comes from her dad or mom or grandpa. They have given her thousands of dollars over the past year, and sometimes she spends foolishly on alcohol, or eating out. We once spent close to 300 dollars in two weeks on going out to eat. I always have a mini heart attack because I realize that isn't technically OUR money, but money that was lent to us.

>I'll go on, and have a tl;dr in the next post

So she graduated from university, and I am very proud of her, but we have to admit even with all of the work she put it, it was an easier ride for her to get to that point than for me. But still, here I am fighting it out until the end.

She received her degree and has no desire to find work in her field. Suddenly a mental illness popped up and she sees a psychologist, but refuses to see a councilor or therapist. She doesn't do shit except sits at home and plays Neopets. She even bought a tablet for drawing in photoshop which she said she was going to use to work on her graphic design, but all she has used the tablet for is drawing neopets and entering contests. Which is fine. I think it is cute that she likes neopets. I think it is a much nicer community than 4chan, and I even play some of the games on there.

But, here I am working in my field already, I haven't even graduated yet, and she has no job. But, somehow, I am the moocher? But what really pisses me off is she said that she will do "housewife duties" when I find a job. And I am away in an office for 6 hours a day, and when I get home she hasn't moved. In fact she doesn't wake up until a couple hours before I get home.

I just don't know how to react to being called a moocher when I'm working my fucking ass off to make my life work, and I personally think I'm doing well.

>TL;DR gf called me a moocher because her family lends us money sometimes, but I'm taking on 2 internships and working in my field while also freelancing. She said she would cook and clean while I work, but so far has not done the things she promised. Argues with me whenever I bring it up. Don't know how to react.
>She said she would cook and clean while I work
Allright so yall living together? Seems like if money is tight in yalls family you guys wouldn't be fucking living together in an apartment. Why she cleaning up for you? She aint your wife and shouldn't be living with ya.
Sounds to me like you gotta break it off. Seems like she takes you for granted. She'll only hinder you. DODGE THE BULLET

And force your mum to be smart with money. Hell, don't give her any and ask directly from your grandparents instead of her.
You can't just break it off, bc her family's invested money in you. What I would suggest is have a conversation about paying her family back. If she resists/refuses, then you have some real big problems that might mean walking away from the situation.

Also, approximately how much are you in debt to her family? Do you have a number?
Sounds like the good ol manipulation. You either gotta talk to her or break it off.
Pay her back and get rid of her despite her not chipping in she feels like you owe her something which you do but the money wasn't directly from her it was her family that gave you money. She just sounds lazy. My dad let this girl into his house after he got divorced and she promised to do all these things but she ended up doing none of them and leeching off of him for while.

You have done incredibly well and you should be very proud of yourself. Your girlfriend seems like an entitled bitch who is trying her best to project her insecurities about being a moocher onto you.

She has had more opportunities and is wasting them. Perhaps she has seen the choices her parents have made in remaining unemployed and claiming disabilities, and is hoping to get that for herself via the psychologist.

Being part of a couple is about supporting each other, especially when you're struggling financially. She sounds like she's pretending she has a lifestyle she cannot afford, because she has the backing of her parents. She probably feels bad when she has to ask for money, and it's easier to blame you.

Perhaps going forward, you could earn and manage your own money, paying towards any bills that you owe for and refusing anything paid for by her parents. Make a point of being self-sufficient, so if she wants to mooch then she is doing it alone.

Don't let her drag you down. You've done amazingly. People like this tend to zap the drive out of other people as well, and you don't want to end up some lazy drop out living on welfare.

Also, don't knock her up.
Honestly I'm not convinced he has anything to pay back, at all. Sounds like HE'S supporting HER, and when she has trouble making rent or whatever, it's because 1. she refuses to find a job and 2. blows all her money on stupid shit.

I bet that if anything, she'd owe money to him - he sounds relatively responsible and if he didn't have to support her, I bet he'd have saved a lot more money over the past year or so.

Basically if he wants out, I think he's perfectly in the clear to get out, no obligations unfulfilled, no debts owed, although out of respect it might be nice to have a talk with her family thanking them for their support anyway.
Okay, I could get that, but he should probably figure out the logistics and figure out if he does owe money. There's no sense owing people you don't want to be associated with anymore. All I'm saying is take the higher ground and make it a clean cut.
Agreed if he up and leaves without paying them back it's morally fucked up and makes him look back. If he pays her family back he leaves on higher ground and without a guilty conscience.
This is kind of murky because all we have to go on is his story in the OP, which is a little light on specifics (understandably, since it's already two posts). But to hear him tell it, I just don't see it.

If they give HER money to help her make her half of the rent, then that was never money he owed them to begin with.

If they give HIM money so that he can make his half of the rent and also pay his tuition bills, and SHE appropriates that money and spends it on drinks or whatever, and he has to find the money to pay his bills somewhere else, then SHE owes HIM that money - which is tantamount to her owing them that money.

I don't really disagree with the substance of your advice, which is that he should get in touch with her family, get on the same page, clear the air, but I really don't think he should have to pay for his girlfriend's (their daughter's) fiscal irresponsibility, and I hope they don't demand that of him.
Thread posts: 12
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