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Boyfriend won't stop checking out girls in front of me

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My boyfriend (20M) of 3+ years "can't stop" checking out girls in front of me(20F).

I am a very pretty girl, 9/10, I try my very best to be the best gf and friend to him & still he can't stop. It makes me so sad that he can do that when I'm right beside him.

He tells me it's automatic and he doesn't even think but I don't do that, if I was ever going to check someone out (so so rare) I'd at least have the respect for him - to do it subtly and when he is not directly by my side.

He's telling me he's trying but I'm so tired of feeling so shit about it.

What do I do?
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>>18522733
Yeah you're not going to like it but, it really is automatic. I do it all the fuckin time with my girl. She gets bothered herself, like how your acting right now. As males, we can't help it because it's fuckin programmed into our brain to want to fuck. It feels animalistic and we try to stop it sometimes. My girl isn't any different. I'm not the best looking guy body wise, but she checks out dudes with chizzeld abs and shit. It doesn't really bother me, cause I'm pretty sure her biology is wired the same as mine. You are literally worrying about something that is out of our control.
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>>18522733
Start pointing girls out to him.
Rethink the problem.
He loves you but he looks, so what.
If you rethink that he looks but still loves and wants you and doesn't chase then it's something you can control.
All men look, it's hardwiring in our evolution and genes, it's something that if he could avoid to stop getting shit dumped on him from you he would.
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>>18522733
Stop being a whiny insecure baby and realize that if he was gonna do anything other than check these girls outt, he wouldn't be dating you.

This is relatively normal behavior, especially for young men, get used to it or find a nice fedora wearing beta cuck to date.
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>>18522756
Bascially this.

It's sort of a reflex to check out a girl when she walks by when you're a guy. Like it takes some genuine restraint like holding back a sneeze in order to keep yourself from doing it sometimes.

You can take comfort in knowing that as he's checking out other girls he's choosing to stay with you instead of going off to pursue them. So there's that.
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>>18522733
>if I was ever going to check someone out (so so rare)
Bullshit, you do it just the same as he does. Everyone checks out everyone and it's normal.
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You need to watch this video. Seriously.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlZsGpWJmos
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>I am a very pretty girl, 9/10
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>Thought you found "the one" at age 17
>Still only 20
>Surprised that you're emotionally immature
Don't worry, you're only like 3 black boyfriends away from being a reasonable adult.
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>>18522769
I must be abnormal then, I feel asexual to most people I see on the street
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>>18522852
Most women do. Did you watch that video I posted? Everything is explained simply and clearly.
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>>18522809
Thank you, will watch soon
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>>18522733
Expectations are everything in relationships. If you expect your bf to downplay or even hide the attraction he has to other people, that's considered mostly reasonable within the mainstream standards of relationship expectations.

But if you expect him to *actually lose his attraction to other people,* then you are participating in a very painful delusion. Basically, human attraction is something so central to our experience that it really is out of our control.

That being said, if he's obviously moving his head up and down, whistling, and saying "dayammm," or something, that's a rhetorical act that means he more than likely has agency and, therefore, responsibility for his actions.

You should just stop saying anything about it and accept that fact that although he may be attracted to other people, he is choosing you (I mean, that's a huge assumption; he may totally be about to leave you; I have no actual idea, but I'm trying to make you feel better, here).
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I can't watch the video atm as the environment prevents it, I'm ok with the odd body scan or checking out, it's when he goes back for seconds or thirds that I start getting frustrated.

In fairness we are visiting my relatives in Eastern Europe & the girls are prettier than he is used to I guess, but it still bugs me
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>>18522878
It's just what men instinctively do. It has nothing to do with his satisfaction with you. He's not even comparing them, and, if you don't make an issue of it, 99% of the time, you could ask him about it the next day, and he would have no idea what you're talking about.
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>>18522882
This. There's a reason that men watch porn, and women read erotica. Men are visual creatures. That doesn't make them disloyal by necessity. It just means that when something visually pleasing appears, they are hard-wired to notice.
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>>18522733
Does you think your boyfriend thinks your cooking sucks when he sniffs the air and smiles as he walks past a restaurant?

It really is the same thing. Just because he sees something new and nice doesn't mean he wants to leave you to be with them, just like when he enjoys the scent of freshly cooked food from a restaurant, it doesn't mean that he hates your cooking.
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>>18522823
Oh fuck off, there's no reason for that not to be true
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>>18522733
the guys saying its automatic are fucking stupid.
just because its a reflex it doesnt mean it can't be controlled or downplayed.
my boyfriend doesn't do this and he says he makes the effort to not check out other girls when im around him out of respect. your boyfriend can do the same.


theres a difference between quickly noticing a woman in public and oggling a woman infrfont of your girlfriend. I see my boyfriend noticing other women but he doesn't STARE them down.

I also notice women like this because I am bisexual but I stop looking when I realize I am getting to the point of staring because I know its disrespectful to my boyfriend.

That being said, if your boyfriend does not want to change his behavior he won't. You can't change a man or a woman unless they want to change themselves.
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>>18522998
Most people overestimate their attractiveness. Many studies confirm.
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>>18523011
Maybe, but why would you force or even encourage him to put effort and energy into something so meaningless? Human mental energy is a limited pool, spending it on trivial bullshit means there's less for more important things. You're just being selfish and insecure, like most women.
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>>18522733
Idk, my boyfriend of 7 years does this. Not like he cocks his head to the side and gives girls the up and down whenever we're out and about.

Sometimes we do it together. I'll mumble to him "damn look at that girls tits!!" And he'll be like "I know I already saw em!" and it's just kinda a game.

I mean, if he's straight up disrespectful about it. Making it obvious, and giving girls passing by a wink and smile. Then I'd be annoyed. A random look isn't bad, if there's more behavior to it, if he tries to talk to them, gives them wanting eyes and a smile. Like oh no, that won't fly. But bf is respectful, and pretty open about it. I know he is with me and I'd be lying if I didnt automatically check out girls when I passed by them either. Women are so beautiful.
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>>18523011
>my boyfriend doesn't do this and he says he makes the effort to not check out other girls when im around him out of respect.
So, he does it all the time when you're not around to get angry at him for it.
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>>18522733
>He's telling me he's trying but I'm so tired of feeling so shit about it.

So stop being a jealous cunt and start checking out those fine asses with him. Shit, my girlfriend has pointed out some fine ass titties to me when I didn't notice them.

>I was ever going to check someone out (so so rare) I'd at least have the respect for him - to do it subtly and when he is not directly by my side.


Yes, we know... women are secretive and manipulative. You're also a goddamn liar that a fine man doesn't catch your eye. (So, so rare!) And when you eventually cheat on him (because you will....) you'll do your best to keep it as secret as possible. It'll be easy for you, because lying is like breathing to a woman.
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As a guy who constantly shit on women and their contribution to the world, the bf doesn't respect you.

He's an ass.
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