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Hey /adv/. I'm lonely. I'm 32 years old, married,

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Hey /adv/.

I'm lonely. I'm 32 years old, married, and I am lonely as shit. When I was 13 I tried killing myself, thinking that I would always be lonely. I got married when I was 26 thinking I found the answer in someone, but that love faded. Now I constantly lie to my kids. When they ask me if life gets better, I tell them that it does when from what I've seen, it really doesn't. It's as good as it gets in high school, and only goes downhill from there, and high school sucked for me. It only gets worse. The loneliness remains ever constant like a cut that won't heal.

So tell me, /adv/... how do you deal with it?
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>>18522415
I'm 30, lonely and not married.
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>>18522415

Lmao, life is way better for me now than it was in high school. I'm 27.
>>
33 here, feel alone too. Not married or kids. Keep myself busy, work out, go where I want to feel some satisfaction. Just got out of a relationship with a girl 9 yrs younger for about 2 yrs, she feel out of love with me so I broke up the relationship. Most of my friends have moved away, as time passes I think it gets harder to make new friends.
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maybe your depression isn't a result of loneliness. maybe it stems from something else.
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>>18522415

Marriage takes work, anon. It's not like in the movies or on TV where you find that magic person and everything is solved forever. Relationships are easy when everyone is happy and horny for each other, the true test comes when you feel like you don't give a fuck - that's when you actually need to REALLY try, and that doesn't mean going out to dinner or buying flowers a few times.

I'm not saying that's your fault, but you DO have the agency to figure out what's wrong. You sound clinically depressed to me, so you need to take it upon yourself to talk to a professional and/or start doing stuff that you've never done before. Start new hobbies, involve the wife and maybe even the kids. Go to some place you never thought you would go. Hell maybe you need to switch jobs or sell the house.

Your wife and your kids are, in the end, the only things that REALLY matter. Have you even talked to your wife? Like REALLY talked? It kinda sounds like you're just in Suburbia hell. Fuck, maybe go watch American Beauty or some shit.

You sound pretty damn depressed to me and you need to find
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>>18522496
>OP here.

I have talked to the wife, and she views my depression as something I need to deal with personally, i.e. she's not responsible for how I feel. I have seen a therapist for months, and I don't feel any different. Someone recommended anti-depressants, but the truth is I don't want to rely on prescription drugs just to cope with some harsh truth of the world.
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>>18523214
If you're not strong enough to cope, then yeah you need them. At least try them and see if it will be enough to set you back on tracks.
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>>18523214
As someone who has battled clinical depression off and in for years, I can relate. I'm married with kids as well and my wife says the same thing. I can't relate, I've never been depressed, it's your problem. It is your problem and nothing she does will fix it. I'm on the meds and much happier now. I am more even keel and don't have the constant worry and feeling of being down. I at first didn't like it and it took some time to get used to. I worried about the long term erffects etc. But then I realized what difference does it make? I'd rather be happy or content than miserable. Everybody is going to die anyway and if it kills me sooner at least I'm not adding on years of misery.
Also, I don't usually condone lying but in this case lying to your children and telling them life gets better isn't wrong because for many it's true. You don't know what life will hand you and much of how you feel about things is really how you deal with the changes as you get older. Every age group comes with pros and cons. Focusing on what you can do now that you couldn't as a kid is what you need to do. Focus on your kids and be there for them is essential. It's literally the biggest reason I find meaning to drudge through everyday. They'll love you more than life itself just for being there and spending time with them.
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>>18523243
Not to get philosophical, but if I have to take meds just to get through a life I can't seem to cope with, then of what value really is that life to me? Don't get me wrong, I'll NEVER kill myself, I'm just finding the loneliness particularly difficult to deal with at the moment, and I feel like by taking meds I'm forcing myself into a puzzle where my piece doesn't belong just for some illusion of a happy life. Then I'm faced with the dilemma: accept cold, hard truth or accept fake yet happy life?

As for the kids, they don't particularly care about me. I'm about as close to them as I am my friends, so I don't really see them as family. Just... two other faces in the world. My wife and I were close once, but I've been in the relationship long enough to see the life and love for me fade out of her eyes. We haven't had sex in months, and she just feels like an over-glorified roommate now.

Sure, I have her to talk to, but really? Emotionally? I have no one. I was sure there are others out there who are like me, and I thank you for your advice on trying meds, but no thanks. I'm looking for some absurdist motivation, not chemically-induced happiness.
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get a dog (or cat) might help the loneliness.

consider joining some group activity with other guys. like a men's group in church or a poker night
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