I just found out my gf has depression, anxiety, and an eating

>>18518794
Dude you sound like you and your girl have been together for less than a year and you are thinking of marriage?

I understand dealing with these issues can be emotionally draining but gl if you wanna find someone with no shitty problems in their life. It takes an investment in somebody and it sounds like you dont love your six month gf that much. Do a favor and take her to the doc and dump her there. Least she can cry to the therapist then, you asshole. Nothing wrong in how you feel cuz it is how u feel but understand you are an asshole.

just walk away

>>18518820
this

>>18518820
Regardless of how serious the relationship is, if you get involved with anyone it's normal (even advisable) to think about whether they're the type of person you want to have kids with, if wife and kids is your endgame.

That said, it sounds like you're not willing to put up with a mentally ill person and as you mature you'll be even less okay with it. Leave her before you're attached and wrapped up in her bullshit.

>>18518820
How am I an asshole? I'd say an asshole wouldn't think ahead, would string her along until it became too much, and would then just dump her there after she got attached. I'm seriously questioning whether I'm willing to put up with serious mental illness to make a real commitment, or whether I want to be honest with her and just end it.

And it's not unusual to think about marriage after six months. This is a point where we both know it's not just dating. It's a longterm relationship. And every longterm relationship ends either in marriage or breaking up. And if I'm gonna break up with her, I'd rather sooner and less painful than later.

I don't know that I could live with her mental illness for the rest of my life, but I've already become attached and really like her.

File: 1333311204758.jpg (263KB, 640x532px) Image search: [Google]

263KB, 640x532px

Depends on if you're willing to put effort into being by her side for the year or so it might take her to find a medication/therapy system that works to get her back to "normal", or if you'd rather find someone else who has issues you can deal with.

Mental health issues aren't as uncommon as you'd think, and it usually takes a year or so to figure out how to manage them. I have some, but it's completely manageable and I have a full time job, own a home, and live a pretty normal life because I learned to deal with it. She can do the same, but it will take time.

If this isn't something you're willing to deal with, then you're better off trying to find someone who you'd rather be with. If you don't want to be there to support her, then she's better off without you and finding someone who will be willing to emotionally support her until she's stable.

>>18519151
I want to be there for her, and I have been. And she is getting better. She's on medication, and she allowed herself to be institutionalized for a while for her eating disorder.

It's just that I don't like that I don't understand it. I didn't have a good childhood. I grew up poor. I was bullied as a kid. And I never developed any of those problems. I worked my ass off to get the test scores to get into private schools on scholarship money. I didn't have friends because I was poor at a rich prep school. I was embarrassed of my house. And I was Hispanic at an overwhelmingly white school, where genuine racism (not fake SJW racism) was not uncommon.

But I got over it, and I worked to overcome what I was handed. Now I'm going to a top 20 university on track to law school. I got my shit together, even though I wasn't handed anything. I didn't get depressed, anxious, develop some kind of pathology, or anything like that. When I had or have a problem, I face it head on.

The thoughts that bother me have to do with kids rather than her or my being there for her. I don't want my kids to be unable to deal with the world like her. I'm afraid she'd instill them with values that it's okay to wallow and self-destruct rather than take control of your destiny and get your shit together.

>>18518794
Go fuck yourself, you self loving prick

>>18519211
Maybe instead of just insulting, tell me what you think is wrong with my mentality, so I can explain why I feel the way I feel. Also read my other replies above. They explain more.

>>18519183
>Now I'm going to a top 20 university
You're like, what, 20?
Just stay with her if she's got a good ass and you like her.
She'll probably outgrow her mental illnesses by the time you think about having kids.

>>18519211
Not OP but what is wrong with steering clear of crazies?

I'd put mental health before physical attractiveness. Having any kind of mental illness is a red flag for me.

>>18519183
The keyword is "resilience". Some people have a lot of it, others less. That's why one soldier can get PTSD and another doesn't despite both having faced the same situations. It's why you're on track with your life, but some kid from two doors over where you grew up is a junkie and petty thief.

Every human tends to assume that they're the baseline, "if I can do it, anyone can" and conversely "if I can't do it, it must be really difficult". It's useful enough as a rule of thumb, but many people come to believe it's a universal truth and that's when ideas like "this person cannot do what I can, there must be something wrong with them" start to form. Realise that such ideas are bullshit, there isn't anything wrong with them in general or your girlfriend in particular. They just have different strengths and weaknesses from you, and life has hit them in the weaknesses and/or they couldn't play to their strengths as well as you could.

The fact that your girlfriend told you about her problems means she's facing them. She's taking medication, that's another part of facing them. Her problems may be wildly different from the ones you've had in your life, but she's facing them, just like you said you've been doing with yours.

The fact that she told you means she trusts you. If you just get up and leave you're gonna seem like a nigger. You'd be so surprised to find out that MOST people walking around have a mental illness. I'm pretty sure you aren't 100% normal.

>>18519183
You do realize that mental illness is caused by chemical imbalance in the brain right?

>>18520125
While this is certainly true in many cases, there are also other reasons for mental illnesses.

I'm withdrawing from an ssri and let me tell you, the withdrawals are horrendous.
People end up taking these drugs in hopes of alleviating their chronic anxieties, and it works.

BUT there are countless stories of people who stay on the medication for years and every story ends the same. The medicine builds a tolerance and fast, and the withdrawals are akin to heroin withdrawals and they can last more than 3 months.

If i were you, even if you plan on breaking up, id look up the implications of the medicine with her and HIGHLY urge her to not take it.
Take it from someone currently going through it, its actually hell.

That medicine and the shitty companies making money off of it need to actually die.

>>18520133
Basically you can't say 'oh I had a rough childhood and I came out fine' and then apply that to everyone with mental issues. It may seem dumb, but it's just how it happens. Worrying that it will 'pass on' to your children is moot if you plan on taking charge of raising your children and not being a fucking slacker of a father

>>18520136
I've been on a fairly low dose of 100mg/day for the last several years, and haven't noticed any of what you describe. I haven't built up a tolerance for it and had to continually up the dosage. Even if I've forgotten to take it a day or even two in a row, I haven't noticed any ill effects.

I guess you were unlucky in that your brain chemistry didn't respond well to it. Mine has. There's no telling how it'll go for OP's girlfriend, and as far as I've heard SSRI's are actually pretty safe. If she responds badly to it, she can talk to her doctor and they'll figure out something else.

>>18520141
I'm actually not OP, I just wanted to point out that the other previous poster was generalising too broadly.

I do agree with you, however.

>>18520150
I was on paxil, even missing a dose by an hour made me a nonfunctioning shit