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I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years now. For 4 years she's been similarly shy and not very talkative--she rarely ever speaks. Well, she talks a lot to me, there's no problems when it's just us two. But when there's an extra person involved, she won't speak unless directly spoken to, and even then you can see the gears in her head spin, clearly taken off-guard and frustrated. She has difficulty forming thoughts into words and becomes extremely anxious if asked even the most basic of questions, like "where do you want to eat"? Asking her (if she doesn't already know where) throws her for a loop and makes her really anxious.
She's not diagnosed with anything, but she definitely suffers from some symptoms of say, social anxiety, maybe even obsessive compulsion disorder. I don't know too much about any of this stuff, and I already know it's stupid to ask a bunch of anons on a mandalorian crochet circle town notice board about it, but is there any chance she has some sort of anxiety disorder? Maybe even something like very light Asperger's Syndrome? How can I help her, whether or not she has a disorder like this?
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Honestly, bite the bullet, bring it up, she won't like it but from what you've said it's something that needs to be confronted. Has she had any trauma in her life (that you're aware of?). You need to bring it up in a way that doesn't make her feel like there's something 'wrong' with her but that maybe there's some shit she's avoiding and it could be a benefit to her if she confronted it
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>>18518409
I don't think bringing it up is a bad idea. She has brought up in the past, usually when things are REALLY bad, that she should go to a therapist and see what's up.
I'll try talking to her. As far as trauma, nothing I know about, and she's told me pretty much everything as far as I know. But obviously the whole point of trauma is maybe it's been repressed?
Thanks.
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>>18518421
She should see a therapist, that kind of behaviour doesn't just happen, there's always a root. And exactly, trauma quite often is repressed and it could come from anywhere, it could be something truly awful, it could be from some off hand comment by a person that resonated and stuck with her. Either way it's definitely something she should explore, if anything for her own mental health. I hope it works it for her and for you guys.
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>>18518392
My Gf is the same anon but she is super traumatized since grade school being super bullied, for not liking sports and stuff.
I would also just do the "go seek help" or talk to her about it route.
I did that and my gf said she had tested for disorders but it turned out she's just messed up cuz bullies. Good luck!
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>>18518421
(Same responder)
The best thing you can do is approach it in a sensitive way, make her know that whatever happens you will support her and that she is loved (yes, I am drunk, but I also suffer with mental health issues and for a long time was in a similar position)
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>>18518392
I have the exact same type of girlfriend anon. Here's what you do:
>Hey "gf", I noticed you get really shy around my friends. I used to be like that too! I wish you would be willing to let them know your personality just like you let me. You're an amazing person and that's why I'm with you. I just wish you could be a little more open with my friends too.
don't forget to tell her you love her when saying this.
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>>18518392
In the short term protect her by answering question for her. If she knows that you're there helping maybe she'll relax. In the long term get her help.
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>>18518392
Sounds like you described me
Im also undiagnosed. Be patient with her. She's going through invisible agony. Talk to her more at parties to get the gears all greased up. People like us just want to feel welcome.
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Just testing this out.
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