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is there a quick fix to confidence? if so, what is it? (so i

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is there a quick fix to confidence? if so, what is it? (so i can get confident)
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>>18442027
Drugs.

[spoiler]But seriously, don't do them.[/spoiler]
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>>18442027
Pretend your dick and muscles are much bigger than they really are. Pretend you're more attractive than you actually are. Pretend like you're cool.
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When you decide you don't give a shit about the consequences of being yourself, it's easy.
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>>18442127
I'm fucking swole, and have sooo much self hatred because I'm not good enough.
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>>18442027
Why only quick fix?

Don't rush things that take time.
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>>18442149
because it seems that many people, including my friends, are either naturally confident or have figured it out in a very short space of time as if by magic.
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>>18442027
Natural confidence took YEARS of hard work for me to achieve.

There was a point where things kind of clicked for me, honestly.

I was confident with my job, my looks, and my relationships with other people.

That shit takes hard work.

Once I was finally in a good place I was able to get down to the bottom of what really skewed my self-worth to begin with, and that was partially due to the divorce of my parents when I was 9.

After I figured that out, I was able to trace out the longer term consequences of the divorce, and was able to forgive my parents, and eventually, myself.

I still get flashes of self-loathing, but I now have to self-worth to push them back.

It's all about finding your place, and then working backwards.
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Faking it, physical activity to boost testosterone, and it won't help everyone but I found a bit of mushrooms and acid helped me alonh.
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>>18442154
It only appears this way because they've put the time in themselves, and then it clicked at some point.

ALSO you're not looking at them as incrementally as they see themselves.

I'm sure they would tell you their confidence is the sum of many years of small, daily changes. It's just like working out. You're just seeing them on the receiving end.
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>>18442027
When you've been shit on and broken down your entire life by everybody, it's pretty much impossible to ever have any confidence
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>>18442281
Wrong. Being beaten down is fuel for some. It spells defeat for only the weak of heart.
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>>18442292
Shut the fuck up you dumb cunt. I've succeeded at a lot of things that took a fuck ton of hard work and dedication. You obviously have never experienced it yourself, or else you wouldn't be saying such stupid shit.
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>>18442365
Butthurt much? Take note OP, this is how pathetic you become if you don't kill yourself
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Not to discourage you, but when you start building up some confidence it's easy to lose it and start over-analyzing. After having a one night stand before xmas, I was on a roll where I at least kissed each time I went out with my pals, if not spending the night.
Of course that shit gets noticed when your college class consists of 97 % boys, and thus contributes to some performance pressure. Once you start try-harding things go south.
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>>18442027

not really, because confidence is not some on or off switch.

confidence is the truth and the belief of something. so there needs to be a truth. an attractive man is attractive because he knows hes attractive, even if a woman rejects him. An Ugly man who acts confident is just called cringy or arrogant.

confidence is also not all encompassing. you see the chad and think hes confident all around but hes not, its mostly just with dating and the things hes good at, those just happen to be pretty public things. I recently beame friends with the most alpha fucking chad looking dude in the world, movie star looks, amazing charisma, does parkour, un reasonably hung, and overly educated. yet he has confidence issues.

one thing you can do to start improving confidence is to realize that you can be confident in the rules of the world. For instance, that every single rejection from a girl is /not/ chipping away at you. even alphas and chads get rejected, thats why they call it a 'numbers game'. so you can be confident that if a woman says no it is because of a mismatch, not because you are some randomly awful being that no girls will e ver take interest in.

if you want to build self-confidence you need to start working on those 'truths'. you may not be able to say 'hey im hot' but you might be able to get your self to say 'im the hottest version of my self i can be' thanks to the right hair, the right diet, and the right clothes. i have a friend who looks like a total fucking loser, and then the other day he didn't have any time to brush his hair, and he looked really fucking good suddenly. because his hair was so flat and gross it made the rest of him look gross, but now he looks like a cute dork. you'd be surprised what you're capable of.
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>>18442426
Good advice. This goes for girls too. The prettiest and fittest are also to my limited experience, super conscious about their bodies and need you to tell them how good they look.
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>>18442377
Of course I take it personally when you go out of your way to insult me. Are you expecting me to just let it slide? Or did I say some mean things that hurt your feelings :(?

>>18442027
Don't kill yourself OP. Ignore this complete waste of a human being entirely. Keep on working at it day by day. Keep a journal and every day write positive things about yourself in it. Include "I am" statements (ex: I am smart, successful, etc.). Eventually you'll start to believe these statements if you repeat it enough times. Try to be more positive, and focus on surrounding yourself with positive people you can trust that support your ambitions and goals. It takes hard work to become confident, but the first thing you need to do is to just stop being so hard on yourself. You can make a change in yourself, it just takes hard work and dedication. Good luck OP, I believe in you.
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>>18442146
Same
My social skills and body confidence went up as well as my hatred toward life
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>>18442166
How are you socially now?
I basically reached that point before being kicked down to square one
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>>18442136


This.
Thread posts: 21
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