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I'm friends with a lot of people who are generally sensitive

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I'm friends with a lot of people who are generally sensitive types. Several couple friends, all of them nearing 30.
My gf and the other girls in the group talked about us, and apparently most of these guys cry actual tears pretty regularly and have bonded with their gf's by showing them this "vulnerable" side. The guys admit pretty freely that they do this as well.

I'm not trying to sound like a hardass here either, but I can't remember the last time I cried or got legitimately upset like that. I have been conditioned pretty heavily by having physically/verbally abusive parents, and i can easily confide with my girlfriend and express all my vulnerable issues without getting emotional.

I guess, how do I convey to these people, my gf included that I'm genuine, and that I feel emotions too, I just can't reciprocate with tears, and dramatic display?

I don't want people to think I'm a sociopath, or that I'm damaged and unable to understand their personal problems, I just have done a lot of work on myself to try to be as strong a person as possible. Am I actually a sociopath?
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Well you're not a sociopath because you actually care what they think of you (otherwise you wouldn't have made this post). Damaged on the other hand.. eh, maybe? I kinda see it more like that's the kinda person you've become due to your upbringing and your dad made you a 'hardass' because you were raised not to cry or get emotional because that's not 'men' do, and you've internalized that so much that it's become a part of you. You don't cry - but you can still express your emotions. They're not any less genuine just because you don't cry.

Try telling her that. To be honest, as a guy, I'm fucking envious. I have cried maybe like five times in the past few months... It's been a tough year, but that's getting off topic.
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>>18441116
>I guess, how do I convey to these people, my gf included that I'm genuine, and that I feel emotions too, I just can't reciprocate with tears, and dramatic display?
Emotions are universal even with animals, of course they fucking know you feel emotions. No need to convey, also maybe you really are not as sensitive as they are (I reckon 20% of the population has a more sensitive psyche)
Also, it is a weak move to cry in front of girlfriend or even wife, the only exception is maybe death of close people.
Men should remain men and not show their vulnerability to the world, because if a woman has her man to protect her, he only has himself (and maybe friends).
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>>18441123
>well you're not a sociopath
That's good, I was kinda worried that they might think that.

I think she's gotten used to me, I mean we have been dating for years.

>>18441128
I think I repress anything that would make me look weak, largely for what you stated, my dad was extremely harsh and frequently told me I was garbage, and beat me when I was younger. Since then, I've done everything possible to be successful in life and I'm well off.

I have been trying to have Christian values as well, I guess I just don't want to feel like an asshole anymore, although I probably inject mean statements occasionally and of course accidentally, but I wouldn't ever intentionally try to hurt someone's feelings.
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>>18441116
OP here, bumping this one more time because I thought of something.

I'm also not very into hugs and physical displays of affection. Any way to get more comfortable hugging my friends? I'm physical with my gf of course and fine with handshakes in my work environment, but it's hard for me to be touchy with my friends
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>>18441116
You just gotta lay everything on the table, you don't have to be dramatic or emotional, just honest with them, and yourself. Also It really helps to have a good sense of humor. If you can laugh about yourself, then being emotional or melodramatic isn't necessary. Besides people would rather hear about most issues when you framed with self-aware humor that's just a tiny bit self-deprecating, it makes you seem more genuine and approachable.
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>>18441405
I have been told I have a dry sense of humor, so I hope that's ok. And generally I'm not the one who talks about my issues, I'm a listener 90% of the time. People have actually told me I'm very considerate, but I hope I'm not robotic.
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>>18441386
Did anyone ever comment on your behaviour? You don't seem odd to me, really.
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>>18441447
Indirectly, they have told my girlfriend things. Like, one time they did this group-hug thing with like 10 people and they asked her why I was so reluctant to hop in.
Another instance was my gf being out with her best friend and she kept asking my gf if I was mean, if I had a good relationship with her parents (I do, they tell me all the time I'm like the son they never had) and if im rough in bed (I don't think I am, or at least my longtime gf has never mentioned anything like that).

I'm slow to make friends in general, and I'm trying to be more friendly but I don't really know how.
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>>18441427
Dry is good for that kind of thing, just don't get so dry that people can't tell if you're joking or serious. As long as you can sprinkle in a laugh or two every now and again, it won't be a problem. Also, its good to talk about your issues occasionally, it reminds the other person that you're only human. Seeming like you can't talk about your own failings, or seeming too perfect for them can make people nervous. Being a good listener is a really good trait though, most people are really bad at it.
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>>18441476
Yeah I feel kinda weird just opening up on here about these things. Like paranoid.
I laugh pretty frequently though, and I work in a construction environment with a lot of very rough people so I hope my humor isn't tone deaf.
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>>18441116
I'm similar sans the abusive parents, just grew a thick skin I guess. But I'm pretty sure I'm also a socio/psychopath.
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>>18441530
Do you want to be more normal? Because that's really what I was hoping for in this thread. Maybe an anon can help you straighten yourself out.

I'd say try to be more sensitive but lol I'm in the same boat
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>>18441489
Similar to you, I am not really one for emotional or dramatic displays, though a lot of my good Friends are much more emotional "wear their heart on their sleeve" types. Generally politeness, and even the clumsiest attempts at empathy are enough for most people. You don't have to cry, be touchy feely, or be dramatic to be relatable and well liked. All I really did was treat everyone with respect, offered empathy when needed and gave them the occasional compliment. Also if you feel you have a rough sense of humor, I wouldn't worry. Most worthwhile people learned how to take a joke, even ones that are a bit abrasive.
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they sound like nancy boys desu senpai
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>>18441592
Id hope that my humor isn't too abrasive, yet here I am a 4chan addict since 2007ish. A few of my friends have definitely been offended at something I've said at some point.
>>18442059
I mean, they're definitely nerds who were bullied a lot in grade school. I wasn't a bully myself, per se; but I did my fair share of pranks and had enough fights that I never had anyone antagonize me over anything other than sports
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>>18441548
Nah, fuck that, I grew a thicker skin for a reason and I'm much more confident and happier after doing so.
Thread posts: 17
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