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It feels pretty pathetic being heartbroken over a girl I wasn't

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It feels pretty pathetic being heartbroken over a girl I wasn't even actually dating. But it still hurts. And the worst part is I'm still hoping she'll text me back a few hours from now apologizing
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>>18438065

She's making an excuse because she feels uncomfortable with the direction in which your friendship was going. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you, just that she doesn't want a relationship with you.

It's sad and it will sting, but there are plenty more women out there who will want to date you. Try not to get held up on one individual when there is someone better suited to you.
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She sounds even worse than you.
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The rest of the conversation...
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>>18438072
I told her months ago that I wanted to date her, and she said she wanted something serious. Then I asked her out and she came over to my place and spooned with me while watching a movie before we took a nap together, we didn't even do anything really sexual. And she seemed all in up until now.
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>>18438085
Not months ago... maybe a month and a half ago.
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>>18438074
Literally say "I want to fuck you". I'm not memeing.
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>>18438065
Same thing happened to me. I was really beta and kept persisting in it which spiraled into our friendship and chances together being over. I don't even do much to distract myself and I got over it through time, around 4 months or so. Ghost her and hang in there OP.
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>>18438085

She's probably got a few options open to her at the moment and she's favouring one of the alternatives. By all means keep her around and she will probably start showing interest again if it goes wrong - but would you actually be happy with that?

I don't know her and I only know what you've told us, so this advice isn't gospel. She might genuinely be very damaged and not ready for a relationship but let's be honest - who wouldn't overlook all that for infatuation and lust?
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Currently resisting the urge to text
>I want to confess, that time we were watching Arrival and you were looking into my eyes, I really wanted to kiss you then, but I panicked and just kind of froze up.

and I also want to send her a picture of the plush cat that I got her for her birthday. She knows I got her a gift, but I never told her what it was or had a chance to give it to her.

I realize how pathetic that all sounds, but I still want to do it... I shouldn't, should I?
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>>18438139
You even know that's a horrible idea. What is it gonna do? Think about how'd you react if someone was that clingy and you didn't like them.
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>>18438139
Jesus fuck man what the hell youre being creepy asfuck
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This is the cat. I have an actual picture of it, but I don't want to post my room on 4chan in case somebody I know is on here and recognizes it. I don't need anyone else seeing how fucking petty I'm being.
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>>18438144
>>18438154
You're right. I'm not in a good place right now... I don't know what to do with myself...
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>>18438139
Don't do that, text her a picture of your dick (erect, picture taken from the front) with the caption U WANT DIS?? If she responds negatively, and she probably will at first, simply resend the picture, but slightly increase the zoom each time.

It may take 5-10 attempts, but she'll come around. Persistence is key in this, as in most things.
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>>18438065
I didn't go through the whole thread but I feel you op, I'm in kinda like the same situation.
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>>18438173
If she doesn't at the minimum laugh at this then she isn't worth it OP
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>>18438065
You sound like a fucking loser

She obviously picked someone better than you, someone who isn't a loser

Now she wants you to fuck off but she can't come right out and say that without causing her a negative self image

Do the poor girl a favor and leave her alone with her new man, pathetic loser
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>>18438431
>>
You already fucked up by caring more than she does, or at least SHOWING it.
You didn't play it cool enough, you ended up looking pathetic. Best you can hope for now is for all of it to fall apart and then wait half a year and retry without showing more care than she's showing.
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>>18438640
>You already fucked up by caring more than she does, or at least SHOWING it.
why is this bad
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>>18438701
That is kinda how psychology works, female especially, not for all people mind you.

People want what they can't get. They want to work for it. When you come up to a girl and give her all attention she needs straight up without her really doing anything, she'll be disinterested, repulsed, it's too easy, too sure. As I said, it's all based on a psychological phenomena that people want what they can't have and are dissatisfied with things they gain easily.
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>>18438701
It's from a stupid self help book. People correlate success with the confidence they get by assuring themselves she's eating up being ignored even though anybody's reasons for being infatuated with somebody are completely irrational regardless of gender.
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She texted again...
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>>18438716
Well shit anon.

Best thing you can do right now is apply the no contact rule.

Absolutely no contact with her whatsoever.

If contact is necessary, try to keep it minimal.

Do not beg, plead or anything else that will make you look miserable.

If you're lucky she'll come back in a month, if not, then 4 months, if not 4 then 6-8, important thing is, she will come back, just don't build your world upon that thought but rather on yourself and your own needs.

Whatever you do just don't look any more miserable no matter how badly you want to. Trust me.

Patience is the key.
>>
also I like this thread, I'll stay awhile and talk to you OP if you want to since I was in a similar situation
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>>18438733
What makes you so convinced she'll come back?
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>>18438753
In my experience they always come back.

Even when you don't want them to.

That is all I can offer you and all I can go from. Me and my personal experiences.
>>
>>18438716
Stop being a faggot and man the fuck up already.

A. Tell her you want to fuck her. If she says she just wants to be friends, then say you already have enough of those and stop talking to her.
B. Stop talking to her.

It's not that hard. Just stop being a bitch. It's just a girl--there are almost 4 billion other girls out there. Get over her. She's not that special.
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I know that feel. I've been waiting a year
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>>18438768
Holy shit, I feel sorry for you. The longest I had to wait was 9 months.

Stay strong brother.
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>>18438767
This

You might as well. Nothing to lose
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu-QjTNtDz8
Sadly this.
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>>18438792
Yes, literally.
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I feel like saying something dismissive. Like "whatever" or "if you say so"... I know I shouldn't, but I kind of feel like I should.
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>>18438823
just say Okay and let it be
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>>18438832
What like figuratively in my head, or to her?
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>>18438838
A simple "K." or "Okay" should do the trick.
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>>18438085
>we took a nap together
You dirty dog
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>>18438768
three years
and I'll keep waiting, we were destined of each other
>>
>>18438823
It'll just make you look even more insecure because it'll show how hurt you are

Just fucking drop it, it didn't work out, no amount of conversation can change that now. It doesn't work that you, you don't talk a girl into changing her mind like that. You were probably too passive when she was at your place and she's lost interest. And don't text her with "I want to fuck you" like some posters are suggesting, that would just fuck it up completely with most girls and would be a complete 180° from your previous behaviour in your cause, making it even weirder.
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>>18438564
if this is really thw OP replying wtih an anime photo, then I can see why she is disinterested in you and made a good choice
>>
Good lord, op

You are pathetic

And your girl sounds retarded even via texts
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>>18438883
Jesus christ
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How do I keep myself from contacting her again? I already know it's going to happen...
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>>18439240
Right now you're in a pit. With every word you say to her you dig a little bit more dirt. See you want to be with this girl but you're acting like an insecure, needy gay girlfriend so every time you talk to her you get further away from anything happening between you too, and honestly you're probably already too far gone.

If you have any self-respect you'll stop contacting this girl. After some time, she might wonder why she isn't hearing from you and get in contact. At that point, you can arrange to hang out in person and try to make a move. If she isn't with it, fade back out of her life and move on. There is nothing you can say (especially via text) to get the desired relationship with her. Your current course of action is counterproductive. With women, the less you say the better. You have to leave room for their imagination. You've vomited your feelings and neediness all over her and her interest is probably less than zero at this point.

You're a young guy and the world is full of women. Also you should have other things going on in your life besides talking to this girl. Think about the kind of man you want to be. I'm sure it's not a sniveling beta who begs for scraps of attention from a girl who is probably not all that anyways. Move on with your life man.
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>>18439240
>How do I keep myself from contacting her again? I already know it's going to happen...
To answer your question, lose her number. Straight up delete it from your phone. Remove her from any social media and block her. Have some self-control and resist the urge to reinitiate contact with her.

All those words she saying (which is not nearly as much as you're saying - your words to her words ratio is insane) can be boiled down into "I'm not into you". You've essentially become a pest at this point. You're begging for her affection in a sense. It's not going to get you anywhere. The only thing that works in this situation is to cut off the flow of attention and don't re-engage. Honestly the way she's acting, I wouldn't talk to her even if she did reinitiate contact after a while because she's already made it clear she's not on the same page with you, and saying you can continue to be friends with her is lying to yourself. Think about it logically, don't just listen to your feelings. You know this to be true
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>>18438109
Another beta, same story. Ghosted her for almost 2 years now. Still can't stop thinking about her. Fml.
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>>18439358
Just talk to other girls. Even just to be friends and you won't even think about them.
>>
In that screenshot where she posted "it IS absurd" she's emphatically agreeing with you. She's saying "It's absurd that you can't take a hint". Do you love yourself, OP? If so, you should. Your time is the most valuable thing you have and this girl doesn't value your time or your affections. A self-assured person doesn't offer their time (or affections) to people who have made clear that they don't want it. You need to go therationalmale.com and read through every post in Year One - Year Five
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>>18438074
Dude is this some kind of viral marketing for the new cougar bait young adult's novel series
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>>18439379
I'm friends with other girls, i netflix and chill regularly, just without the sex. Just cuddles and some joints.
I'm obsessed and it's idiotic. But noone comes close.
Pathetic, i know.
>>
Guys we're missing the real question here; how do we change the dating scene so that it's more like...real? So you don't have to do shit like >>18438792
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>>18439400
You can't it's only going to get worse with shit like Tinder and other social media de-humanizing everything more and more every day.
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>>18439446
I just shed a manly tear

It's funny because I got a girls number outside of CVS a few weeks ago and I've tried 2/3 times now to hang out, today was supposed to be the day but she just stops texting

It's actually easier for me to go on tinder and fuck someone right now
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The first time we hung out and got really close, she did this same thing, she told me that she only thought of me as a friend, and I freaked out way worse than this...

Later on I kept pushing and she was up for dating again. And now she's doing it again, the exact same way... a while ago she opened up to me about how she crawls into her shell and becomes anti-social. How she starts to think everyone secretly hates her.

I'm starting to think she's going through that again... I even posted a thread about it back then, and everyone was telling me to move on... but I didn't, and she ended up closer with me because of it.

I think I should try pulling at her a little harder...
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>>18439606
Yeah OP go show her how little of a man you are that'll show her something alright
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>>18439606
NO YOU IDIOT

Eh, I give up, I'm abandoning thread, the rest of the guys can advise you pretty damn well like they have been doing
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>>18439400
How do we change the very core of the female brain? We don't it's fucking always been this way it's how they work so either get used to it or start sucking dicks.
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I've been there, leave it. Seriously.
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>>18438716
"I thought so too"

Meaning she did
And she changed her mind
Drop her from your life
You don't have to hate her or hold ill will
But move on brother. It's a part of adulthood.
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>>18439606
You will never be happy with this girl, even if you do date. It is going to tumultuous and anxiety ridden and will only end in heartbreak. Get out now with your dignity and find someone more stable or figure out why you feel you need to be with someone so unstable.
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>>18439606
She pushes you away because SHE
DOES
NOT
WANT
YOU

But she drags you back because she needs attention from SOMEONE, a distraction from her own misery or self loathing.

Just
Fucking
Drop
It

You must be so young
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>>18439771
Totally agree, and not think that she thinks of you, she only thinks of herself
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>>18438065

Cold turkey her to see if she cares.
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>>18439781
>to see if she cares
Not even. OP needs to drop her like a rock.

Why do you waste time on someone that clearly doesn't want it?
>>
How many of you guys are currently in stable long-term relationships?
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>>18439840
/
>>
>>18439840
I am. That girl doenst worth it.
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>>18439840
I'm not sure what you're getting at. 30 people have replied to this thread, even if you get replies from a few of them it's not going to be representative.

I personally am currently in a relationship, though, of five years' standing.
>>
Seems like I was right. Just goes to show text messaging sucks. And I need to learn to think before I send a damn message.
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>>18439240
Ask her if shes down for casual sex. If she isnt shell ghost you
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>>18439606
>all these fucking ellipses
What a fucking faggot
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>>18440218
Oh fuck off
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>>18438094
This. Seriously.
Beating around the bush like a pussy isn't getting you anywhere. Go all in, and if you don't succeed, quit being a pansy and move on to different women.
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>>18438173
Kek'd audibly, in public
>>
the next time you meet her if theres an intimate moment, kiss her, her body wants it, dont let her stupid mind steer away from you
no confessing and le deep talking it through, take action, thank me later when shes wiping your cum off her face
>>
>>18440247
Faggot say... WHAT?
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>>18440743
This.
And then, after you've finally blown that load you've been waiting to blow for so long, cut your losses and get out
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>>18440247
How about you grow some balls and learn to write like a normal man you fucking poetry pussy shit ass faggot
>>
>>18440743
This

>>18440787
This too
>>
Op I have been in a similar situation before and pretty much everyone in this thread is correct. STOP TALKING TO HER. Talk to other girls and forget this one existed. Next time you catch feelings for someone don't focus all your attention on the one girl, keep your options open, that way you will be less clingy and needy.
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>>18438065
Man!! First of all, stop talking to her just cut her off. Don't be pathetic, you don't want to do that. Have some self esteem and self respect. You have all the options in the world and there's plenty of fish in the sea so grow a pair, get your shit together and focus on something else, like finding someone else maybe. You might not be thinking straight rn and telling yourself she's the one and that you love her and blah blah blah but trust me it's just hormones so don't beg for her attention and move on. OH and she'll come back, they always do but it's up to you if you still want to be in her life, i recommend you don't.
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