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First time in a relationship at the age of 27. I have a few questions.

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First time in a relationship at the age of 27. I have a few questions.

Is it normal to dislike a group of people because your girlfriend says she finds them attractive? She told me she likes dark skinned guys, like Pakistani and Indian looking guys. Now when I See those I instantly dislike them and I get this feeling of worthlessness and that she doesn't like me. I think it's weird type of hardcore jealousy.

I am also constantly afraid that I'm too lame for her. She's saying that it's okay, but I don't think it is. I want to be constantly entertaining for her, I want to be charming and funny and witty. But I can't deliver that (it's a long distance relationship and I am in a difficult position in life I cannot/don't want to handle). For those of you who have relationships, how does it work for you? Do you always have witty and cute conversations with your partner? Do you always talk? Do you have silences?

I love her so much, but I don't know how to handle these and other insecurities and I'm afraid of losing her because she's the best girl I've ever met and I think I'll ever meet.
>>
Get a tan so you'll better to her.
>>
listen fella, for some reason she's with you and not some dark skinned guy, right?
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>>18434618
I know it's hard but you'll only make yourself less appealing by constantly voicing your insecurities.

She LIKES YOU!! that matters. Say it to yourself like a mantra.
>>
>>18434618

She's lying. Nobody finds Pakistani men attractive. She's trying to get a rise out of you.
>>
>>18434696
>>18434687

I hate myself for saying this, but I think she's only in it because she couldn't find someone better right now (her life isn't going well and she's depressed). Usually, someone like her would never bother with people like me (unambitious people who wasted their life). I guess I can try to suspend my jealousy and insecurity, but the question is for how long.

What am I supposed to do about my current inability to be witty and charming? I am waiting for a big step in life (new job to move abroad) and I am super lame, a downer and not in the mood for anything.
I was also bothered by the fact that we didn't always have, or at least I didn't have, cute or interesting things to contribute during conversations when we were together for a few months. Do other couples have similar moments?

>>18434701

Not the average Pakistani, but the guy's that start in western TV shows and films.
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It's not normal to harbor that much jealousy. She chose you out of all the people in the entire planet, remember that. Me and my BF were in a long distance relationship for 6 years before moving in with each other, we would visit around 3 times a month. Don't worry about being too lame or talking constantly, sometimes being quiet is a good thing. If you can make the effort to visit her at least a few times a year for a few days, depending on what she likes, center one day out and the rest just for hanging out together (watching movies/ netflix / playing games). even if she has to go to work or uni on one of those days it's cool, let her go and great her when she gets back with a warm dinner bonus points if you cooked it yourself (just don't forget to clean up!). Another cute thing to do is every now and then send her a real note/postcard/chocolate in the post (not all the time tho cause thats creepy).
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It's called being insecure and jealous and if you keep that attitude up she will definitely leave you. Learn to act like a fucking man you retard.
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>>18434618
OP every guy has their gf or wife constantly throwing other men in their face, constantly. Thats what women do and its intended to break you down. Stop getting hurt by it and ignore because if you say a word they will double down knowing they drew blood.
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>>18434737

We try to visit each other whenever we can. The reason I'm doing all of these things and moving to a new country is to be closer to her, so we can see each other. We spent 2 months together, but it's been over a months since the last time we saw each other.
I just feel hopeless and helpless during certain moments when she's feeling bad and I can't do anything from here. Or when I feel bad because I cannot handle my current situation (work and life related), the jealousy and insecurity and I can't tell her because I don't want to make it worse by constantly complaining.

I do and did all of those things you mentioned and I loved doing them and she appreciated. I would cook for her when I was staying with her since she was working. I'd make dinner and lunch, pack her food and pick her up with food, clean her apartment, never let her do the dishes. I also sent her surprise postcards with inside jokes and letters. It were the loveliest moments of my life, but I am missing them now.

I don't know, I guess my biggest concern now is being too lame for her and those moments when we have nothing to talk about (due to me being a downer).
>>
introduce her to some Paks, that will sort her out pretty sharp.
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Yo OP, not exactly the most considerate way to put it but >>18434738 is right. Also you are right about she settling for you because she currently cannot go for someone better. That's reality for ya, sorry.

As for my own advice, what exactly you can do to deal with those insecurities is to:
1. Start working on yourself.
2. Do your best where you are with what you have, with your current knowledge.
3. Once you've done 2 and feel satisfied with the effort you put in, there should be no reason to regret anything, even if you fail. See 4
4. Stop worrying about things you cannot control.

(The key point here is, once you've already done everything you possibly can with your best efforts, realize that there are certain things you cannot be responsible for, so blaming yourself for those is a big waste of time and effort, which you should spend on things you in fact do have control over instead.)

5. Stop feeling insecure (while getting more experience and other probably hardly observable results at the same time, but that's not as important as stop feeling insecure). Profit.
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>>18434618
Also, this
>Because she's the best girl I've ever met and I think I'll ever meet
is called Oneitis. Look it up. Read the article about Oneitis on therationalmale dot com.
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>>18434618
>I love her so much, but I don't know how to handle these and other insecurities and I'm afraid of losing her because she's the best girl I've ever met and I think I'll ever meet.

How long you been in this relationship?

That's not really love, it's just infatuation and sexual lust

Real love takes many months to form
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>>18435308

6 months with 2 of those spent together.

>>18435103

Well, I'm familiar with that concept, but I don't think it's this. I am just very realistic. Meeting her was a miracle and I don't think I can pull of another one in a billion chance. I've also had other girls being interested in me, but they were kind of meh.
>>
>>18435768
Your first relationship and only two months in. It's not love. It takes time and trust to deepen the connection. You don't fall in love at first sight, that's usually the dick talking

If it ends up not working out don't freak out
Thread posts: 16
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