So I'm sitting in my room since 19 hours listening to my breath and I decided to ask someone for expertise
Here's part of my private life I think might be part of the problem:
I unintentionally break ties with people trying to get close to me including human females, 3 of them in my life to be precise, I think I loved the last one, considering I stopped trying to be a normie after her.
And here's the rest:
About a year ago I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, no symptoms so far but I'll go, once they appear.
I dropped engineering and went on to study arts in UK.
Barely passed first year due to meds for MS causing me to scream in pain for an hour twice a day.
I can barely eat and sleep, music annoys and
I think I hate people, I kind of want to die but I'm not selfish enough to kill myself. I need to start working on improving my craft or I'll either end up homeless or insane. What do?
desperate and shameless bump
>>18432379
Do you have access to a mental healthcare provider?
Therapy. You need therapy.
Beyond that im notnreallynsure what youre asking us advice on.
Decide what you want to work on and just.. start. Just start. Small. Incomsequentially if you must. But just do it.
>>18432379
therapy, mental health help, whatever dude.
something you can start doing now is starting small and building your way up. start growing a plant of some kind or taking care of a fish or something.
Tried therapy twice before, 1st time the guy just milked me for money few months and attepmted to used stuff I told him when I wated to cease our meetings, 2nd time was with free healthcare, I was told I don't need help
I don't really have time to start everything from scratch,
I'm asking how to start to work on a daily basis against my own will and is there a way to do that? some kind of drug? method of organization?
alcohol used to help me focus on one thing only but I can't drink too much with my meds apparently.
If you can't stand people (perfectly natural given that we are of the first generations to live in masses) move away from the cities. You sound like someone from one. Bacon postulated people who congregate in a city are ultimately people afraid of death, so not pleasant people to be around.
>MS
>What can I do to force myself to start working?
not sure what your symptoms are but if you ultimate underlying issue is motivation and get yourself up then get yourself and hard working dog, like a border collie or one of those sled dog type breeds, they'll get you in shape.
>>18432883
yep, drunk, nvm the second paragraph.