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Irrational guilt

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Lately i noticed it's long become a habit of mine to restrict myself from completely normal things because i feel constant guilt when i do those instead of what i should do.
I am talking about things like reading a book or going to sleep, those are examples i really want to do but somehow in a weird way i am feeling bad for enjoying a good book and when i go to sleep i force myself to reflect on shit and think of my future.

I really want to get rid of this feeling, i'd love to hear any advice on this.

some background info on me if that helps, if not skip it
>attended college, never had any problems in school.
>drop out in a late semester because i didn't call in sick to exams and in the second run i failed horribly
>Financially dependent on my parents while i live with gf who does an apprenticeship
>Dad has severe problems with the spine and the insurance does not acknowledge it as handicap and has main income
>currently applying for new opportunities
I can recall feeling this way even back in college.
Math is fucking hot
Where do you think those feelings of guilt come from? Identifying that could work in getting to a better place with those feelings.

I happen to struggle with a lot of guilt. And it really for me comes from thinking I have more control over things than I do. So it has taken a bit of just coming to terms with who I am and the realities of my environment. I also reflect in bed a lot, but it just kind of happens, I don't force it. If you want good sleep, focus on something other than your thoughts. Breathe deep and well, and don't force away your thoughts but let them pass as they come.

I'm pretty into meditation. It can do wonders for helping you move past unwanted thoughts. And guilt isn't so much an emotion as it is the sadness over or fear of your own inadequacy.
Hey anon,

I'm really sorry you're going through this, first of all. Guilt is probably one of the worst emotions to deal with, especially on a constant basis and for trivial stuff.

I went through something vaguely similar, and the result was me attempting to sorta 'reshape' myself, and trying as many productive things as I could. I started learning a new language, picked up some textbooks for subjects I'm studying (like supplemental reading kinda thing), basic stuff that was actually pretty fun but useful, too.

I guess I basically just diverted my usual hobbies into a more productive path. You could also maybe do something out of the ordinary and then balance that with your usual hobbies so they're more of a reward.

Either way, you have some really productive and awesome habits anyway - sleep is necessary, and reading books is way better than watching TV or scrolling through Facebook endlessly.

It could also help to just take a breather, just be still whenever you feel guilty. Just relax, breathe, and let it be.

Have a good week, anon. Make it a productive one!
Sorry for the late reply

Alright thanks anon that's a good suggestion, i'll try to do that before bed.
I am not 100% sure but i think i just feel guilty when the situation arises that people i care about and support me are or will be disappointed and let down by my actions, i am afraid to let them down. I also think that sometimes i believe i have more control than i do and are too optimistic.

Thanks anon, you're giving me a new perspective on this. Subconciously i think i am a bit bad at deciding if it's right or wrong to feel guilt, reshaping myself is something i can look forward to since improving myself is always good and gives me motvation.

If anyone wants to discuss this further i'll leave my kik here: marshmall.OwO, i usually don't respond very quickly
No problems, dude. Happy to help. Just keep striving to better yourself, and remember not to ever be too harsh on yourself for being human.

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