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I'm 50/50 on kys

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Hey /adv/,

I'm a manic depressive with a huge dissatisfaction complex and my whole life has been completely average, the first girl I ever liked tore out my heart, I asked out a lot of girls in 1st and 2nd school and they just ignored me, I'm lanky and short can't gain weight I'm just muscle tone cause I can't even build up to anything, I have had average jobs and schooling grades and never achieved anything other than being the fastest sperm.

Should I pull the trigger?
Don't do it OP. I had a similar experience this October when the first and only girl I've loved dropped me for no reason. The next day my uncle shot himself, and the next week my best friend moved to another country.

I can confidently say that shit gets better. It took me 7 months to stop feeling so terrible. I'm still depressed but things have changed. I've now got a girl that I'm getting ever closer with and college is starting soon and I'm ready to move out and be free.
Just give it time. Hang in there.

How old are you?
>old enough to know it's over
>young enough to be a tragedy
Anon, here's the truth. I've been suicidal. Not as close to the brink as you (and I'm sorry you feel like this, it's shit), but I've been there. I've been depressed, anxious, OCD, smacked with a couple annoying diseases.

You want to know what happened when I felt like this? I looked in the mirror, and I realised that I was the only one that could fix this. Yes, I would need help, people to talk to, etc., but it needed to be me.

It'll be tough - at first. I hated having to expose myself to my counsellor. What I hated most was realising that it wouldn't actually be that hard to fix, that I really had no reason to feel shitty because every single one of my problems was fixable.

So are yours. You are so much stronger than you think. You will go talk to someone, you will make an active effort to become an amazing person. You will smile at people on the street, you will buy a homeless guy lunch, you will throw yourself into your studies or work, you will eat heaps of food and gain a ton of muscle (seriously, it's all in the diet). You'll get this wonderful carefree attitude at the end of it, too - I like to think of it as the reward for surviving; you suddenly realise nothing is actually worth being angry, and that happiness is literally a smile away.

Anon, I don't only want you not to kill yourself. I want you to become everything you want and know you can be. Go kick ass, pour your heart and soul into things, don't be worried when things go wrong, and go enjoy the fuck out of your life.

Have a good week.
I've talked to a doctor about my metabolism and he said something was wrong, I've tried diets and nothing works. I've poured my heart and soul over great works and they still nothing, the only thing I've gained from this thread the the courage to see my convictions through, I don't feel death so I'll see you later anon.
Find yourself something to be great in, and pour your all into that. Painting, writing, idc what, just get something to fixate on and do that and only that. Be the best in that specific thing. It'll break the "Average" Feeling you have and will surely help you.

Good luck anon, don't kill yourself
I think you have unrealistic standards how can everyone be amazing? Then it wouldn't be amazing, nothing wrong with be being average.

This really isn't grounds for suicide desu, I was talking to this homeless guy the other day who was the same age as me 25, he was dirty and riding the rails since he was 13 he has come from an abusive home dude was travelling with his dog and he was still going strong.

Just have to manage your expectations.
Your doctor is shitty. Tell him to fix your metabolism, not just tell you it's wonky. Or, go to a different doctor.

Pour your heart and soul into more things. See what sticks.

Not fearing death is not a reason to embrace it. The very fact that you are posting shows that there is light inside you, a light that is fighting against all odds to survive. It sounds corny as shit, but don't let that light go out. You have the strength to make it burn bright as fuck

Fight, anon. Life isn't easy, but that's why it's so much goddamn fun.

I had to walk around to get the internet connection to post this, so you're not allowed to think no one cares, either.
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