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Boyfriend becoming uninterested in sex

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Hi /adv/

My boyfriend seems to be loosing interest in either me or sex, it's really starting to bum me out.
I've brought it up to him a few times, he says he's just tired and just loosing interest in sex as he gets older; which I understand completely, but at the same time he can't be THAT tired.

We average having sex like 3-5 times a month currently, we used to be very sexually active for the first couple months of the relationship and we've only been together about 8 months at this point.

He's 30, honestly not in the best physical condition (slightly over weight but he's been working out a lot and eating better to try and change that) and works a desk job (if that helps, I think it's making him a bit sluggish). His diet isn't the best either but I've been helping him eat better since we've been together

I'm 24, I think I'm rather attractive and really do my best to try and act playful and sexy to try and help turn him on. Like I'm a tiny girl with nice curves at a low/healthy weight. I have a cute face and I wouldn't say I'm boring at all.

It's really starting to get to me and make me feel unattractive, I've never had to fight for someones attention before and usually I'm the one pushing my partner off me for sex, so this table turn is really throwing me off.

I know he's not cheating on me, we live together and he comes right home after work, it's rare that I work when he isn't, usually if he's not around me he's texting me anyways.

Any suggestions are welcome, I really love him but the lack of sex is making me rethink our relationship, which is pretty shitty to say but sex is a big part of a healthy relationship for me, I don't even want it all that often, just more than like once a week.

Thanks in advance everyone~
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lmao ur fukken finished kid.
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Bumping with similar situation.

You could ask him if he's still attracted to you, and when he says he is tell him it doesn't feel like it and that his lack of attention is abnormal and frustrating because you go out of your way to initiate sex and get shut down, and emphasize how important a healthy sexuality is in a relationship.
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>>18374320

what percent of the time do you initiate?
when you initiate, what percent of the time does he turn you down for sex?
how many times a week do you initiate?

also, if you're not directly initiating sex, try that. is he more submissive or dominant in the bedroom?
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>>18374320
>3-5 times a month
i would terminate a relationship over this
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>>18374320
>I've never had to fight for someones attention before and usually I'm the one pushing my partner off me for sex, so this table turn is really throwing me off.

Kek.

No advice, I just liked reading this.
Yes I'm a shameless woman hating misogynist, but fuck it, I'm also ugly and creepy so it's not like I've got alot to fucking lose anyway.

Would it help if I called you entitled and told you that he doesn't "owe" you sex?
You know, treated you like shit for wanting what everyone really wants, to feel attractive to those you care about.

Kicking you while you're down aside, guys do actually lose interest in sex as they get older.
It's perfectly natural.
Use a toy or your hands ffs if you're that desperate.
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>>18374344
I have, and he says he is.
Honestly I believe he loves me a lot, he gives me a lot of attention and tells me how cute I am all the time/gives me kisses and holds me.
It's literally just the sexual intimacy part that's missing.

Though I'm starting to see a pattern with our sex life and I'm starting to think it may be the onset of ED, since like 2-3 days after we have sex he won't even have morning wood.
Usually when we do have sex it's in the morning on his days off, we've had sex a few times in the evening after work and he has a hard time keeping an erection or getting fully hard.

He says he's been stressed out a lot at work and really it's been since his work load has increased that his sex drive has decreased.


>>18374355
I used to try and initiate it way more but I kinda got tired of my efforts being unacknowledged so now I let him come to me when he's ready.

But I'll do things like wear nothing but panties and a tank top when we're just sitting at home, or like wear really short shorts when we go out , I've even tried grinding myself on him while kissing him and his neck but nothing
I tell him all the time how attracted to him I am and how I only want him but if this continues I'm going to lose interest in him and not want to keep the relationship going.

Also he's def the dominant one when it comes to sex for sure.
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>>18374405
>He says he's been stressed out a lot at work and really it's been since his work load has increased that his sex drive has decreased.

You found your answer. Just wait. If the strain continues talk to him about it, because the stress will begin to affect him a lot more than just the sex life.
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>>18374397

"Would it help if I called you entitled and told you that he doesn't "owe" you sex? "


I can tell from that statement alone that you've obviously never been in a real relationship long term or with long term prospects.

Obviously he doesn't owe me anything, but when you choose to be in a relationship with someone you're kind of making a choice to fulfill their needs; emotional, mental and physical.
If you're left unfulfilled in a relationship in any of the 3 avenues there's obviously a problem at hand and since he fulfills my other 2 needs I'd rather not throw away a relationship over one and instead try to work on it.

And no I don't have a hard time with the opposite sex, or the same sex for that matter.
Doesn't mean I deserve to be unfulfilled? That's like saying people that can cook shouldn't be allowed in a restaurant?
I'm a loyal person and I want a long lasting relationship, fuck me for being cute, huh?
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>>18374405

he should check out the app called "Headspace". not shilling, it's a series of guided meditations that help me (a very stressed person) not lose my mind.

also, you are probably just adding to his stress by getting on his case about sex, which in turn makes him less likely to want to fuck, which in turn leaves him with less energy for sex, etc.

be gentle. do things like suck his dick without expecting reciprocation. choose sexual positions where you're doing more of the work. remind him, with your actions, that sex can be a fun way to unwind, not a chore.

partnership means meeting each other halfway sometimes.
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>>18374423
What part of he doesn't over you anything don't you get? You don't own his body.
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>>18374423
>I can tell from that statement alone that you've obviously never been in a real relationship long term or with long term prospects.

Then holy shit tumblr has alot of lonely cunts because I was quoting them word for word.

>fuck me for being cute, huh?

Yeah, pretty much, you lucky bitch.
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>>18374423

not the mysognist but...

at the end of the day, you're going to have to fulfill your own "needs".
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He just isn't into it as much as he used to be. Don't take it so personally.
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He might be depressed. My guy plays video games. A LOT these days. I'm lucky I suppose because he'll fuck me once or twice a day but he's pretty withdrawn otherwise. Not sure how to fix it but I just try to engage with him in other stuff. Also working full time takes a lot out of people :\
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>>18374320
sounds like depression

he needs more exercise and a better outlook on life.... this will take a lot of work, so good luck

if life becomes too routine, it will not be exciting. even the sex.
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Ask him to go down on you or finger you once in awhile at least. His own libido going down doesn't stop him from doing that. You've got needs and if he loves you he should try to oblige.
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He might be stressed. Im 33 and I had the same trouble, overthink situations.

Weight thing can also effect erection. Normally Im in good shape, runner, so I had no problem, but once we I gained like 20 pounds, fuck it sucked. I didnt like the way I felt. Was with my gf at the time, 23, and it was weird. Worried that she might leave for younger guy.

I lost the weight and went back to normal.

However, if you are in your panties at home and he doesnt touch you, you might want to move on. Girls sex drive increases as thet get older, mens decreases.
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Maybe he has a sexual dysfunction? Check for cancer.
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>>18374320
Post kik, let me see you and I'll tell you if you're as attractive as you think you are
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>>18375046
I don't know, when I was in the opposite position it sometimes made my skin crawl to feel obligated to give oral when I wasn't turned on myself.
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He's having sex with a coworker behind your back
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>>18376352
this is my guess, or he really is stressed out from work to the point he's too tired to care about sex. Is he working like 10 hrs a day or something?
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This happened to me. Bf said he was just feeling off so I backed off and stopped asking him about it. It's no better and dropped from around four times a week to about once if I initiate it or he's in the mood. He's also your bfs age.

It fucking sucks. I feel like the least attractive person on the planet and have gotten hella bitter whenever he watches porn.

I don't know what to suggest. Talking about it didn't help us. It's a shame really because he's the hottest guy I've ever known and I want to fuck him most of the time. I'm disappointed but I'm in love with him so it's just a matter of letting it sort itself, or experiencing sex so little that I also lose interest and no longer care.
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>>18374320
you have only been together for 8 months and already live together? wtf When did you move in together?
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>>18374320
Yes extacy or Molly pills. Give him some without him knowing
Thread posts: 26
Thread images: 1


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