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How important is it for your significant other to be equally

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How important is it for your significant other to be equally as attractive as you are or vice versa? I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 4 years now. At first the comments, 'why is she with someone like him' 'she could do better' 'he is too ugly for her' etc didn't bother me but lately they have been making me feel insecure. She says she finds me attractive and our sex life is great, so I'm fairly certain she truly is attracted to me. But if she is so much hotter than is something wrong with her that she'd go for a guy like me?
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yea better break up with her because your insecure lol gj
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>>18372955
Not at all. I'm in a very similar situation and I see it like this.

Men focus on perspective partners based on attractiveness, then personality, while women are reverse. Scientifically proven. As a result, women care less about your appearance than they do of your personality. So if you are roughly a 3/10 then you must have a great personality. Feels good man you could be ugly as sin and she still wants to fuck.
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My boyfriend probably feels like you on some level (getting fat, going grey, fucked up teeth, still love him tho), but I'm over here asking myself if he's still attracted to me because out sex life bombs so much and he spends so much time "alone."

How's your sex life, OP?

I also agree with >>18372982
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>>18372982
>women care less about your appearance than they do of your personality
Source
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>>18372984
I'm lazy as fuck and using data so i ain't gonna scrounge for the scientific evidence rn

But personal source I'm dating a ridiculously hot girl and I'm a 2/10 at best and she frequently makes moves. Gonna assume either she's secretly a massive slut or I'm attractive to her.
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>>18372955
OP, I am a reasonably pretty girl and I dated very attractive guys for most of my life. Most popular guy in high school, male model in college, that kind of dude.

Then I met my boyfriend. He's has crooked teeth, a pretty weird face, an unreasonably big nose and he is so skinny that sometimes when he's naked I can see his heart beating. He had a fucking mullet when we met.
I have been crazy about him since the first time we talked. I thought he was so handsome that I seriously was sperging the first time he talked to me. He made me feel butterflies in the stomach. Seeing him smile still makes my insides melt.

Love isn't rational. It fucking happens. I cannot do better because to me there's nothing better. He's the best man I've ever met.

She loves you. Embrace it and be happy about it. It is very possible.
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>>18372989
Massive slut. You cuck.
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>>18372982
I've never had girls go after me. I'd say I'm a 3-4/10. She easily passes as a 7-8/10, especially when she puts in effort to get dressed up (hair, make-up, etc.). Even with this supposed gap in our attractiveness levels, she still wants me everyday. It's strange. I don't know why I'm starting to doubt myself now after 4 years. Maybe because she keeps getting more attractive and I'm just getting that almost 30 look to myself. She's about to go thru her doctorate program and I just worry I'm falling short.
>>18372983
Our sex life is pretty amazing actually. We both work a lot so that may be the only thing that causes us to not have sex everyday but the days we are both home at the same time and are off, it's at least twice a day. She's very attentive to getting me off. Blow jobs, sexy pictures, everything...so I know she finds me attractive. I guess after hearing so many people say she must be weird for finding me attractive...it's starting to get to me.
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>>18372992
At least she isn't a thot
>>18372994
No point in questioning it theres no fucking logic to it at all. If she genuinely cares for you and is clearly attracted then she won't really care if you stay semi fugly.
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>>18372991
Hah, he sounds a lot like me. Her exes are also very attractive. It still blows my mind. When she first showed interest I thought she was being sarcastic or drunk (we met at a local dive bar), but nope, she asked me for my number the next day and even set up the first date. I guess I'm just scared because I want to take the next step, but don't want to end up having it all be some cruel joke.
Pic related. Me and my Jew nose, that she tells me she finds really attractive haha.
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>>18372994
OP, I think you're doing fine, but there's no reason not to stop bettering yourself even if it's not physically (but maybe start working out for health reasons).

She obviously likes you for some reasons or others, there's nothing "weird" or wrong with her for it. However, your lack of confidence will, eventually, begin to wear her nerves down. You don't need to be youthful, just confident.
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>>18372999
Yeah. You're right. Just hard to hear that shit from people often. It's hard when we go out and dudes approach her and say shit. I'm not even the confrontational type so I let it go. But can't help that it makes me feel shitty.
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>>18373002
OP, you're not even that ugly.
Just lose the facial hair. Everything else is pretty good. Cute eyes, too.
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>>18373004
Thanks for that. I am going to try to start working out again. She says she doesn't want me too because I'll lose what little weight I have but maybe if I try to build mass it will help.
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>>18373002
Your nose is kind of cute.
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>>18373002
Wt dude you're not even that ugly. Seem like a regular guy, just maybe a bit creepy.
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If the more attractive person is a guy, they'll leave once the midlife crisis approaches.
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>>18373008
Yeah you should look into what you would need to do to bulk a bit, you're going to have to start eating way more probably. But even just lifting weights or even swimming or something would be good for you. Being active boosts energy and self-confidence.
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>>18373006
Thanks mate. The facial hair is gone. She did ask me to do that, hah. She says the same things about my eyes. Guess we are all just harder on ourselves than we ought to be.
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They must be jealous she's happy with you and wonder how could she quit being a slut after being with you but they can't stop
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>>18373017
>Guess we are all just harder on ourselves than we ought to be.
Definitely. You're a cute guy, don't be so hard on yourself.
Really think your nose is cute, too.

Whoever made those comments is just jealous. You're perfectly fine and it's great that you and your gf are so happy.
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>>18373010
Hah, thanks.
>>18373012
Creepy is a given in this day in age. But thanks hah.
>>18373015
I'll have to go lurk /fit/. I'm a tall dude, 6'1" but I don't have any weight on me. I'm on 160 at my heaviest. I also have marfans so I have the lanky limbs to boot. I'll figure something out though. She loves that I'm skinny so I won't bulk up to much.
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>>18373018
I don't know if jealous is the word I would use. Like dudes will message me on IG or message her and say things like, 'you could do better' and what not, but with no context. It's weird.
>>18373020
Thank you :) I do plan on asking her to marry me soon. I just need to get myself in a better place. More secure in who I am with with. She's just so independent and so sure of everything it's hard to measure up sometimes.
Thank you for all your kind words though.
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>>18373031
Don't let yourself feel intimidated. If she is with you it must be because you are as good as her.
Talk it out with her. Maybe get something else going in your life beside work and her so you have something else that makes you content.
My boyfriend is trying to gain weight right now, and we work out together. We cook together (he is eating for 3 people).
He is a bit more self confident and relaxed.
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>>18373031
You hold your own and do baller shit with her like take her to Disneyland
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I feel for you OP.

I am a girl who back in high school did some beauty pageants, and am married to my high school sweetheart. We will have been together 11 years this September.

Even my own family said that I "could do way better. He was a bit skinny and pale but I still got butterflies in my stomach, more than a glance at Channing Tatum. He is sweet, intelligent, and awesome in pretty much every way that is compatible with me. And is pretty hot imo.

But detractors enraged me, as if they thought due to my appearance that I belonged with a Chad, or that I was naturally sleezy even though I dressed moderately conservative (maybe some cleavage when I went out, but mostly to attract my husband l's attention and teasing him) and rarely did makeup and honestly hated the pageant culture and quit.

It boils down to people realizing your relationship is awesome and they're jealous of it, so don't concern yourself with what they think. Only concern yourself with what your partner thinks.
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>>18372955
Women will have long term relationships with men that they find equal or greater than their value. You don't have to be great looking to be valued highly in her eyes.

Nigga, when you hear someone say "Why the fuck is she with him?" That's a huge compliment regardless of their intention. People don't see why you are that highly valued by her but they will naturally assume it's because the value isn't yet apparent to them on the superficial scale of visual observation.

Pretend the confidence for now until it becomes how you actually feel about yourself.
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She's with you because she sees you differently than you see yourself, in a good way. Assume that what she sees in you is better than you think you are and take comfort and security in that knowledge. You'll come to see it someday too. Just don't take her for granted when you do.
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>>18372955
depends on if they're traits the other person can control like weight or acne.
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>>18372955

>How important is it for your significant other to be equally as attractive as you are or vice versa?

Literally the only thing that matters is how attracted you are to each other, not what other people think. Being neurotic and insecure will kill your relationship far quicker than any physical imperfection could.
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>>18373816
this is on point.

She'll be getting the same feel from you. That you've been seeing something special in her that she doesn't see in herself.

This is very common in strong relationships.
Thread posts: 32
Thread images: 5


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