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why would you confess your unrequited love?

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So many threads and posts about telling friends you love them, when they clearly don't love you. And it happens loads irl too.
There's so much sympathy for the one in love, but what about the other one?
The one who's had their friendship wrecked because someone couldn't keep their lust in check or didn't care that there were no signs of reciprocation.
It shows you don't value the friendship.
Who's with me on this one?
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>>18368849
I confessed.
Then she wanted to cheat on her bf.
Pretty close to doing it. Then after the summer I fell in love with another girl during my internship. Once again I'm the creep.
Eh.
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>>18368849
You don't really choose who you are attracted to. It isn't like if they don't reciprocate the affection that you can just turn a switch off and stop liking them. I get your point and I think it makes a good argument though. People tend to side with those people because those are the ones that post here and most can relate. I've seen people take the side of the person who is bothered by the affection in threads giving the other perspective. It's akin to your best friend complaining about someone and you taking their side even though the other person also has grievances that are justified.
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>>18368849
I'm completely cool with my love being unrequited. What's important is the other person's happiness, not whether I get to be their S.O. or not. I'll still be happy to be their friend.

I find this whole topic a bit confusing and hard to empathize with, really. I guess I'm weird.
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>>18368879
So you'd never tell him or her?
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seflish whores are not friends
theres nothing to value because it fucking reeks from a dude or actually from a girl too that they have feelings

its a combination of playing stupid and their gigantic ego ignoring thinking EVERYONE wants to be their friends

no, friendship is born through difficulties and shared activities and memories, just because you complain on facebook about your retarded boyfriend, it doesnt mean the other guy is your friend

ofcourse theres no sympathy for such person
>inb4 butthurt virgin
im in good terms with my gf
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>>18368849
>The one who's had their friendship wrecked because someone couldn't keep their lust in check or didn't care that there were no signs of reciprocation.
>It shows you don't value the friendship.
Are you retarded? If somebody is a good friend and you find him sexually appealing, nothing is wrong to want to have sex with them.
There is no distinction, I just have good times with my friends, if this person is a female, why not fall in love, if we spend good time together.
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>>18368882
I'd tell them. Information is a valuable thing. Should I want to be friends with someone who can't handle that kind of information?
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>>18368849
Because if someone has different expectations or desires from a relationship it is important to make it clear.

If I fell in love with a friend I'd tell him and cut the friendship off, because I clearly wouldn't want to be friends with them and they wouldn't have a friend in me. That's simply it.
If one of my friends fell in love with me, I'd want them to tell me ESPECIALLY if I didn't like them back so I could cut things off and let them move on with their life, instead of forcing them into a relationship that makes them unhappy because they are not getting what they want.

It is no one's fault, people develop feelings and people want to have sex. We're humans, it is a pretty big part of us.
If we don't want the same thing out of our friendship we'll just stop being friends, it happens.
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>>18368849
It's because it allows you to get rejected and move on. If you just keep hanging around the person you can never fall in love with someone else. It's unproductive
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you know how girls find the guy they are into more funny than he actually is?

The same happens here, men enjoy spending time with their crush more than with an average other girl, and they are ok with not getting their dick wet for an extended amount of time. So some men would rather date the girl but get pushed in the friend zone, others are platonic friends first, often for a long time, before they realise, how well both of them fit together. here, friendship turned into something different.

but does it really matter if the wine was there first or grew to be wine, when the crush opens the bottle and expected grape juice?

This bothers women, because their idea of friendship is oftentimes fitting in the role that the others want from you. but for men, friendships are about trust and fun, none of this is broken by romantical attraction. The grapes are there, they jsut have another taste
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>>18368849
i'm with you. idiots fantasize that when they confess their love it will suddenly trigger this "omg i had no idea how you felt and you're an amazing guy how could i not have seen we are perfect for each other" response, but i don't know if that's ever happened.

it's natural to want to share things like that, just like it's natural to want to blab some secret that you're supposed to keep. but it's actually kind of selfish because it puts the other person under a lot of stress.

apart from being selfish, it's completely ineffective. the only way it would ever work is if she had feelings for you too, which would be hard to miss. the only reason to confess your love is to force your target to share the unnecessary burden you've created and can no longer handle.
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>>18369145
>but i don't know if that's ever happened
happened when the girl is amoral
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>>18369145
>idiots think women and men can be friends

Fixed that for you.
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I don't agree with you OP, it's way harder to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back, than to want to be just friends with someone that loves you. The person in love suffers way more. The other one at least knows that someone loves them.
And telling someone you love that you want to be more than friends is actually giving more value to the friendship that you think because the person knows the friendship just can't work out when you have feelings for the person.
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>>18369145
I don't think anyone actually thinks that, they just confess JUST IN CASE the other person may like them back OR because they need to get it off their chest.
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>>18368849
I did it to a girl I was involved in, shit fell apart, I don't stop confessing how I feel even though she changed up on me. I can't. I can't let her ignore it. I can't move on. I just need her to know. It's almost like I just want her to ride the wave even though she isn't there in her heart. I know it's selfish and it's honestly helping in ruining my friendship (which I value, but it started off romantically, so I think it's fair for me to be this way), but I can't stop. I can't give up and I can't pretend.
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I feel some sympathy for both sides. It sucks for someone to have a thing for you when you really just don't like them that way. But hints and signs often go misinterpreted, which I can't fault someone for. When there's compatibility to be close friends, it's not a huge stretch to realize there's things you adore about someone that you didn't know about at first glance, when you're just friends.

But yeah, sometimes it's painfully obvious that the person likes someone else, and that's when you probably just suck it up. But not revealing how you actually feel about someone is disingenuous. I think over time, people learn these things, and get better at letting their feelings be known before it gets to the unrequited step, but /adv/ skews young and is going to continue to have kids that don't know how to healthily express their feelings, or read the other's interest.
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