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Idk what to do I'm anxious hikikomori with a crush

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So basically I have no idea how to deal with intimacy and having a crush on someone

There is this guy lets call him (B) anyway me and B dated for a very short amount of time 2 years ago, I had never really had a real relationship before that,and lost my virginity to him, a lot of shit went down with his family long story short that ended.

After that we didn't talk for awhile I think, some of it's really fuzzy still, he reached out and told me about a really significant family problem, and we met up and went to a movie because we both wanted to see each other, I remember It felt really amazing to me and we just layed in his truck and talked about life.

After that B's family problem was really bad, and someone important to him deceased, we didn't talk for along time in 2015 but I think we clarified feelings a few times (its still really fuzzy)

After that me and B talked through snapchat and other social media outlets, whenever we would have big breaks of not talking B has always come to me this lasted for a year I think this was 2016

We decided to see each other for the first time in a year in early january ,me and B have been talking to each other and also we have been hooking up about every week or so I really really like B we talk a lot but I feel like I am super annoying and I get really bad anxiety from it, we are both people that don't confront feeling often, and when I bring them up I back out or say things wrong and I can't help but feeling anxious constantly, I feel like his mood can be on and off and its very hard to tell how he feels about me, sometimes he will compliment me and say hes proud of me etc, but other times he will ignore me which I understand because we both like to be alone a lot.
My feelings for B are really strong, and I honestly don't think I would be so annoying if we were just officially together, because I wouldn't worry about him leaving I love him but im scared to confess bc I don't want to ruin what we have.
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>>18367745
I think he already knows you love him.. I mean you gave him your virginity and you hook up weekly. so.. you guys are kinda in love it seems.
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>>18367774
(This is OP my internet cut out so I'm on mimi) I feel like he thinks it would be more trouble than it's worth and to be honest I don't think we could get away with being together offically because of outside forces, I just want him to open up to me even though its not my place
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>>18367796
Be patient I guess.. or.. I dunno.. you seem unhappy.. dunno what to tell you really. You can tell him how you feel I guess.
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>>18367745
I like B a lot he is like my closet friend even though I might not be to him and he probably doesn't know, I feel completely comfortable with him I dont have any friends I really care about or friends at all that much as fucked up as that sounds like I wouldn't care if alot just disappeared, I am only comfortable with him touching me and I dont even like to graze hands with anyone else and im having sex with him which is insane to me
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Sounds like you are making a lot of assumptions there OP.

Go for it. It is all part of the risk of becoming emotionally invested in another person is the possible backfire of it all.

You won't really know till you talk to them about it. And honestly, even if it doesn't work out then I guarantee you will find another who you feel even stronger about.
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>>18367805
I have been trying really hard, im nervous one day ill get really drunk and spill everything, but sometimes I wish that would happen as fucked up as that sounds
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>>18367810
>>18367810
>>18367810
Yeah, I have known him for forever though and Its bad because losing him would be losing my best friend as well, I get really worked up alot and then I just dont say anything but it has been going on for a long time which is not the best ://
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>>18367815
Don't get drunk. Just talk to him like a friend. Tell him how you've been feeling. But try and be calm about it. Explain the reasons why you feel what you feel etc.
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>>18367833
Should I do that irl or over text? I feel like sober me would have an anxiety attack or my words wouldn't come out right irl
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>>18367848
in person. but only if you're ready.
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>>18367917
He has a day off tomorrow but I dont want to be the one to plan to hangout because I feel like I always am, I'm also really bad at hints
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>>18367925
whatever you do, good luck.
Thread posts: 13
Thread images: 1


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