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Questioning my masculinity

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Thread replies: 16
Thread images: 1

Hi /adv/

I'm a 20 yo guy. I've never been a really manly guy, and always been okay with that, since i've always hated the stereotypical macho manly dude. I'm pretty skinny, not much body hair. I look pretty much "twink" if you want. I've always liked being androgynous, always despised sports, and I have some pretty feminine traits, especially with my emotions, i'm a pretty sensitive guy. I'm completely heterosexual though.

But, lately, I kinda want to be manly. But I still enjoy the androgynous/boy image too. Well I don't know what I want to be anymore.
It's true especially since I'm with my gf, I love her, and I want her to feel like she's with a MAN, not with a boy. I want to have a better body, and to act manlier.
So I'm kinda lost. Like I really don't know if I should hit the gym for example, one part of me wants to, but another part doesn't because "it's not who I am". But at the same time I can see some muscular guy and feel like "Damn, i wish i had that body".

That's pretty much it, tl;dr androgynous boyish dude suddenly wants to be a man but at the same time still hates the MUH STRONG MAN cliche. I know I could become manlier without turning into a cliche, but I don't know how to do that and it's bothering me, I feel so conflicted lately. And since I'm the type of person to question myself all the time, I'm just lost.

What am I supposed to do ? How do I become manlier without completely changing my appearance and personality ? I wish I could keep a balance of both but I don't know how.

halp pls
>>
Just go for the ottermode physique. You're already skinny so you don't have to lose body fat, just work out and get some abs.
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>>18358994
Changing your appearance won't change much of your perception of your self. If you want to "be a man", the best thing you can do is be assertive and not care what anyone else thinks about you and what you do.
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>>18358994
Your 20. Grow up and you'll be there, you already sound more manly than alot of guys out there.
>>
Would probably be better to work on truly realizing that there is nothing bad about who you are right now. A lot of people who choose the muscle building route to solve their insecurities end up being giant douches, while in reality, it's a lot more satisfying to simply be a decent human being. Don't be envious of the macho types.
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>>18359010
Yeah, that's pretty much the body type I'd like, although I don't want too much abs either. I've already improved my diet a lot and I do a lot of biking
>>18359014
>>18359016
>>18359017
the best thing you can do is be assertive and not care what anyone else thinks about you and what you do
Been working a lot on that lately, it's not perfect but I'm getting there. I still feel very much like a boy though. Thing is most of my friends are a few years older than me and they all see me as a boy.
I might sound manly here, and I guess i'm pretty mature but irl I'm still pretty boyish. I'm pretty much still a teenager

>Don't be envious of the macho types
I don't know if I am, what I know is that I don't wanna be seen as a teenager anymore. I guess I'm still young, but hey, I wanna start being seen as an adult male.

Besides that, yeah, maybe it isn't a matter of appearance at all, but I wanna be more attractive somehow. I'm not ugly, I'm decent looking, but not super attractive either. Also I'm pretty sure I don't have a lot of charisma. Well I see myself as kinda charismatic if you get to know me but I can be pretty invisible in some situations. I just know i'm funny and witty, but that's about it (it's not quite obvious ITT kek)

Ah fuck, this is making me so fucking self-conscious, when it shouldn't
>>
I think the 'masculinity' thing came from my mother. She told me in her words that 'masculinity/machoism is a cowardly identity'.

She never prevented me from being androgynous or feminine but
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>>18359042
>not care what anyone else thinks about you
>I'm getting there
>they all see me as a boy.
You're not getting there. You're still very far
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>>18358994
manliness doesn't have much to do with your body composition. It has much more to do with how you carry yourself, how confident you are, how you're able to handle yourself, your self-control etc.

If you want to LOOK more manly, then get a tattoo or something faggot
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>>18359129
Well I meant that I'm trying to work on it, obviously I'm still struggling with low confidence etc, but compared to how i was a few years ago, i got way better
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>>18359154
Im trying to say that a real man would never give a flying shit about whether or not he's (seen as) a real man
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>>18358994
Manliness takes a lot of forms, and the cliche 'macho' image is one of the most limited and limiting of them. You can be a man without being musclebound, and if you have a girlfriend who fell for you as you are, that is probably because you are NOT like the stereotypes you are considering turning yourself into.
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>>18359179
Well yeah obviously, but I'm guessing she wouldn't mind if i was a little more in shape and a little more confident

Sorry guys if I seem to completely don't get what being a man is, but like I said I'm really lost right now
I used to believe you naturally go from being a teenager to being a man, I guess it's not that easy
>>
Would your girlfriend put in this much effort to change herself for you?
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If you wan't to be a man, first thing is stop being a bitch and making into a cliche. You're clearly jealous of macho men, quit being a fag and step your game up. You can put on at least 25 pounds bodyweight over 6 months of lifting and will look good.
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>>18359269
Actually yeah she already did
Thread posts: 16
Thread images: 1


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