[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

Every guy that has ever asked me out have been good friends,

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 57
Thread images: 3

File: 1494772433605.jpg (13KB, 202x250px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1494772433605.jpg
13KB, 202x250px
Every guy that has ever asked me out have been good friends, then when they ask me and I decline they start to talk shit about me and start bullying me. I'm not a mean person and I don't treat the other person like shit for coming out to me and asking, but for some reason every time that happens they start to hate me and treat me like shit.

I don't tell anyone that they asked me out, I apologize for not feeling the same way but every time is the same. When I start to think that the guy is flirting with me I ALWAYS say that I don't want to date anyone right now before they ask me out. I've never had a boyfriend and don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet.

What would you want a female to say to you if they didn't feel the same way?
>>
I would want them to tell me the truth. That regardless of what anyone has to say or what society portrays, you aren't ready for a relationship. Whether you're not emotionally or fiscally there, whatever it is I'd understand.

Take these experiences as good instead of bad. The reaction you get is telling of how the relationship would go had you said yes.
>>
Here's a simple answer: you loose all leverage you had (potential partner) so now you're seen as trash.
>>
These people were obviously not your friends and just wanted to get in your pants.
>2017
>still believe a guy would be friends with a girl without having an ulterior motive
>>
Saying that you are not ready for a relationship makes sense, I think it's the safest reply to be honest. Otherwise maybe say that you are very invested in a very personal project or something like that, something that takes a long while, and that you are not in the mood for a relationship lately and for the near future.
When I was rejected the last few times they all said they were "busy with college" and it kind of sucks because it's very obvious that they are lying, even if they just say it to not hurt me I guess. But idk what I would think if they said that they didn't like me back, I guess that's worse.
If a girl I'm friends with rejects me asking her out it's very likely that I won't want to be friends with her, I'll just want to ignore or not be around her after that. The friendship was already ruined when I started liking her. Not very often for me though because I rarely feel attracted to someone romantically.
I'm just guessing but I assume that if they bully you it's because they were quite emotionally invested in you already, like they couldn't help feeling more interested in you every day so being rejected meant that something was now missing from their life and their "bullying" is their way to deal with it I guess. Doesn't make them less jerks though I guess.
>>
>>18357831
>ulterior motive
>get in your pants
You make it sound like wanting a relationship with a girl in general is bad. Some guys want something deeper than just casual sex.
>>
>>18357840
Op considered them as friends.
Friends do not try to sleep with friends.
In addition they started to shit on her after meaning they did not care about being friends they just wanted the pussy.
>>
>>18357846
Not really. Friends can actually develop feelings for someone, and I mean wanting to be in a romantic relationship, not (just) sex.
And talking shit doesn't mean any of that necessarily, it's just their way of coping with knowing that someone they cared about on a deeper level doesn't like them, maybe. And women do that too actually, a lot of people do. It's common knowledge that people react this way when they are rejected by someone they were romantically attracted to.
>i asked him/her out and he/she rejected me
>oh who cares forget about him/her, what a jerk!
>you are right!
>>
>>18357808
either you attract some fuckboy clowns or you are inadvertently leading them on
>>
>>18357808
Youre friends with butthurt faggots. Are you younger by chance? Early 20s late teens? They havent seemed to have figured out this shit happens, its part of life, and to move on.

>what would you want me to say to you.

That you arent interested. It would suck and Id feel rejected but thats life.

Its not what youre saying or doing. Its the quality of men youre dealing with.
>>
>>18357808
Sounds like you're attracting shitty people. The general rule for me is to phase out the 'friendship' because sticking around is a recipe for trouble. I would never give a girl shit though for rejecting me, especially if she was polite about it.
>>
>>18357851
Also this.

Cant put anything on one gender. Everyone acts the same but people get confirmation biasy when they narrow their view onto the other sex.

Ive had a girl or two go bitchy on me when I let them down. Still its a matter of maturity honestly.
>>
>>18357846
I agree with you anon. These guys weren't in it for friendship but a passive/aggressive tactic believing if they come off as non threatening they can stay around long enough the girl will fall for them.

I learned long ago to keep very rigid boundaries if I am acquainted with a guy and as soon as I have to start worrying about what I say or how I behave around the guy I end the acquaintance. Way too much effort and it never ends well no matter how hard I try to be honest and fair.
>>
>>18357808
oh yeah that sucks
why don't you be a shut in like me, problems solved :)
>>
>>18357808
They are clearly not your friend then if they bully you or talk shit they just wanna get in your pants or something like it
>>
>>18357831
you are wrong anon i have a lot of friends who girls that i asked out just because i loved them sex or anything like it was never on my mind only being closer to them was on my mind
>>
>>18358141
Why is everyone suddenly saying that a guy being attracted to a girl is such an evil horrible thing?
>>
>>18357907
or just get better friends who general find you just too be a good friend
>>
>>18358153
i ment that they are not her friend if they where only nice to her and then she says no to them and they start bullying and back talking her
>>
>>18357808
>When I start to think that the guy is flirting with me I ALWAYS say that I don't want to date anyone right now before they ask me out.

Why is everyone ignoring that part ? This is your problem right here.

Saying you don't wanna go out when no one even asked makes you sound like an arrogant bitch
>>
I don't know if there's any avoiding this. Obviously not all men are like this, but you never can tell until it's too late. I've had friends that I really got along with and thought they saw me as something other than "the girl," only to have them start calling me beautiful, turn them down, and get called a Feminazi cunt who hates men, because that's obviously the reason I don't want to sleep with them.

Just be honest, let them throw their little shit fit, then break them off completely and make better friends
>>
>>18358235
He was flirting with me. Am I just supposed to ignore it and let them believe that I like it? I wouldn't want to waste their time, so why shouldn't I say that?
>>
>>18358256
Thing is they probably weren't by the way you described it.
>>
>>18358256
Don't listen to that anon. You know when someone is flirting with you, you trust your instinct and nip it in the bud. If that makes you an arrogant bitch, they can fuck off twice as much.
>>
>>18358275
Wow relax. If a girl tells me out of the blue that she is not interested when the tought has never crossed my mind the they can fuck off to their little self centered world ass far as I'm concerned
>>
>>18358275
>you just know

Don't listen to this advice, that's how a girl in my class ended up asking out a teacher.
>>
>>18358278
Fuck. I'm just really scared of putting people in an uncomfortable situation. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.
>>
>>18357808
You're looking for mister perfect but you're never going to find him.

Sorry that you're such a miserable person OP.
>>
>>18358305
Stop caring so much, uncomfortable situations are impossible to avoid.
>>
>>18358293
>>18358278
When someone is treating you differently than they would their male friends, they say off things that make you go "uhhh..." then saying hey man I'm not interested in you that way is better than pretending it's nothing only to get cornered later, because I've been through both these scenarios and never have I told someone "out of the blue" that I wasn't into them, there ARE signs to look out for.

Also asking out a teacher, that's not even close to being the same as someone you hang out with recreationally, asking out teachers is just sad. Not like I've never had a crush on a teacher, but that's just not healthy unless you're just into the taboo of secretly fucking someone who has power over you. The girl in your class was probably thinking "he keeps looking at me! He gave me a good grade! He must want to fuck me!" Gag.
>>
>>18358319
Do not listen to this. Your criteria for " flirting " is even broader than I thought.
>>
>The girl in your class was probably thinking "he keeps looking at me! He gave me a good grade! He must want to fuck me!" Gag.

Her tought proccess was surprisingly similar to what you described in your first paragraph
>>
>>18358339
How? I never even described how they flirted with me I just said they did. Why are you freaking out over this? Does someone else have relationship issues?
>>
>>18358353
Hey relax, you are the one freaking out
>>
are you in highschool or something?
>>
>>18358361
11th going to 12th
>>
>>18358353
>I never even described how they flirted

>When someone is treating you differently than they would their male friends, they say off things that make you go "uhhh..."

Are you op Samefaging as someone agreeing with you?
>>
>>18358339
Well then explain more. Maybe the teacher was flirting with her and you didn't notice? Not like the teacher is going to flirt with a student in front of the whole class.

>>18358326
Tell me, what do you define as flirting?

Maybe OP can also go into what she constitutes as flirting as well? All I know is I've had probably a 50/50 with guy friends, they either are cool or slowly get creepy, and I have to end the friendship altogether, sometimes even having to state multiple times "*blank* action makes me really uncomfortable" before ignoring "friendly" messages like "Hey beautiful ;)" even after I've told them, like do you message your dude bros with "Hey handsome, what are you doing today?" Never have I ever regretted ending any of those friendships though so whatever the case is, I guess it works out for us all in the end.
>>
Not OP, these are my posts so far:
>>18358376
>>18358319
>>18358239
>>
>>18357808
Don't be fucking friends with males. Unless he is a faggot or the woman is extremely ugly then is inevitable that the guy will develop feelings.
>>
>>18358369
ah, I see.

you need to stop fooling yourself.

if you think they're flirting, don't nip that shit in the bud. Just smile and play dumb.

high school boys are children and you're a child too. You're probably going to go away for college and find some guy/gal that you really want to hold hands with and then you can figure that shit out.
>>
>>18357831
Dude here. Most of my pals are women. I don't want to fuck any of them. I date more attractive women than them. Pretty much, women whose personalities I like but that I'm not attracted to are the ones I befriend.

Well, there's one or two that became my friend after I asked them out and they declined. And I respect their preference. I'm friends with them because they are cool. Just because I find them attractive doesn't mean I'm plotting to get into their pants.
>>
>>18358414
>I date more attractive women than them
That is because you have options.
Many guys don't have options.
Get that into your head.

Many guys think "I need to take my chances or it will never happen".

They don't care that she's not "that attractive". They know they have no chances with the most attractive girls, so they settle.

They try their luck with fat women, because fat women have low self confidence and are easy.

I've seen it myself, a lot of fat women get approached all the time, ironically, because they re not that attractive and guys think they are easy.
>>
>>18358414
>Just because I find them attractive doesn't mean I'm plotting to get into their pants
but you would jump that ass if given half a chance, be honest.
>>
>>18358426
This.
OP probably falls into the category of easy lay.
>>
File: attention2.jpg (13KB, 480x497px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
attention2.jpg
13KB, 480x497px
>>18357808
>I decline they start to talk shit about me and start bullying me.
Ok, either you live in a shitty area or you are a cock tease. No half measures. Make friendzone clear. Or better yet try being friends with chicks instead of getting attention from dudes.
>>I apologize for not feeling the same way but every time is the same.
Stop that. Be unapologetic. Say you didn't mean to lead them on, and suggest not hanging out until they are over it. If they say they aren't having a problem tell them you want a week of space then hit them up at an exact time you give them and pick up where you left off to prove you are a girl of your word.
>I've never had a boyfriend and don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet.
Ooooohh. One of those. Mildly attractive, acts like one of the guys, and seems approachable because you never dated before and guys think they can break you in. I've banged a couple of you chicks before.
>When I start to think that the guy is flirting with me I ALWAYS say that I don't want to date anyone right now
Yeahhhhh, I'm gonna call bullshit. Either you hand around with spergs or you are giving mixed signals. Just go with you think you may be gay but you aren't sure incase you are telling the truth and this will fix it.
>What would you want a female to say to you if they didn't feel the same way?
"I'm not ready for a relationship, but we can fuck a few times if you want". In reality I'm not autistic, I can ask someone out or ask someone for sex and move on like nothing happened the next day without being weird. But I'm charming.

Honestly find better friends or stop hanging with dudes and make a chick friend. Chances are you are being a bit more attention whorey than you are telling us everything. You may not even realize thats how you are, but girls 99% of the time are this way.

>Stereotypes exist for a reason, to save time.
>>
File: 1375175580345.gif (1MB, 180x200px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1375175580345.gif
1MB, 180x200px
>>18359149

>>>/r9k/

You seem lost.
>>
>>18357808
Find a boyfriend or stop hanging around desperate guys. You know what you're doing, go get your validation elsewhere if you can't handle getting what you deserve for being a tease.
>>
I had the same exact problem in high school. You're not doing anything wrong. They're just high school boys. Not all of them are like that, but it's likely in high school that a lot of them just haven't matured emotionally yet. Like I said, as you're not really doing anything wrong, there's not a whole lot of advice to give other than hang in there, and try not to become too cynical about men... because they're not men, not yet. They're boys. It won't be like this forever.

I could have written the OP. I still have never had a boyfriend, but the few people I've rejected in college have been much, much nicer about it. They just thank you for being honest and move on with their lives and leave you alone. So it will get better.
>>
>>18357808
Honestly, I don't want to feel like I'm being patronized. I'd just want a direct answer whether I like the answer or not. Now, I understand these guys were upset, but the way they acted was very childish. They basically reacted negatively to the fact things didn't go the way they wanted. Some people may be surprised that isn't how the world works. As to what you should do about this, I'm really not sure. This really isn't something that can be corrected or avoided. It really just depends on the character of the people you hang out with.
>>
>>18357808
>When I start to think that the guy is flirting with me I ALWAYS say that I don't want to date anyone right now before they ask me out. I've never had a boyfriend and don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet.
Holy shit, wtf is going on in your head? How can one "not be ready", what are you talking about?
How comes you never had a boyfriend?
Of course they are upset, you give them false hope and then crush it.
If you dont like a guy at all and see nothing with him, just ignore.
>>
>>18357902
This. I do the same thing.
>>
Sounds like your run of the mill high school pricks. I'm really sorry, but that's how it'll probably go.
>>
>>18357808
What kind of "friendship" is this when one cannot even ask the other one to hang out? It is some nice neutrality, so to say.
>>
Here's your final redpill on your male friends that aren't gay. None of them want to be your friend. NONE of them.
>>
It turns out you're a boring person who they only put up with because you have a vagina. As soon as it becomes clear you're not going to share something you have an infinite supply of they stop pretending to like you.
>>
You're doing nothing wrong. As everyone else says, they are either not mature, or they're genuinely awful people

I've taken a scorched earth policy regarding friendships with people of the other sex. It's extreme but it's something to consider. Of course, there are exceptions, like s/os of friends. But if you're around people who want a one-sided relationship, best not to play the game at all
Thread posts: 57
Thread images: 3


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.