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ex-gf

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6 months ago my ex-gf broke up with me after 4 years together. She didnt want to stay in contact nor be friends anymore(1month post breakup she said this). A few times these last months she has initiated conversation randomly about tax returns on the house we had together. One month ago she wrote to me again randomly about tax returns and bank things, and I answered very simple and short and didnt ask about anything else going on. Ever since she told me to fuck off 1 month post breakup, I havent initiated any contact at all. I came over a picture of her recently and she has gotten a new tattoo sleeve. A few days ago I heard from some mutual acquaintances we had, that she has been incredibly depressed and gained alot of weight, quit her job and isnt working much anymore since the breakup. We havent seen eachother since we broke up so I didnt know. Last night I was checking up an past event on a club in town on fb. I remember I chose "Going to" this event a few weeks before but I removed it the same day it was happening because I couldn't go. I checked up who went to the event and my ex-gf apparently "went" to this. She never goes to these kinds of events, and this is the only thing she "went to" in the last 6 months. It would have been the only time we could have met eachother these last months. I just felt it was to random considering she probably saw I was going until I cancelled the same day.

What I am asking is, do you think I should continue not contacting her or do you think she actually wants me to talk to her? I feel like she wants me to, but I dont want to ruin it and make her think I'm dying to talk to her. I still miss her alot, she was the love of my life. But I have kept image on social medias and irl that I am doing fine and is happy being single.

tl;dr Been in no contact with ex, signs tells me to contact her, dno what to do
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>>18357217
What do you think of the hypothetical situation in which she wants to talk to you again but doesn't want to be the one to initiate the conversation? What does that mean to you?
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>>18357223
It makes me happy if that was the case. But I am afraid it will backfire if I do initiate contact and that I misunderstood the signs. She is a really stubborn and prideful girl who rarely admits her faults when it comes to these kinds of things. Should I just contact her and hope for the best? I rly dont want to fuck this up, considering I want her still
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>>18357252
No no no no, you'll lose the power if you contact or try to reconnect with her. Stay the course. You're are doing everything and so beautifully too. I wish I had half the discipline you do. Don't mess it up. She'll find you or contact you eventually and beg for you to take her back and you'll have all the power. On the flip side if she never does contact you that's good too because why would you want to get back with an ex that broke up with you and is now a fat depressed slob?
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>>18357260
I do think if she has let go of responsibilities to her job and to her personal care, these may be signs that she would not be healthy for you to get back together with.
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>>18357352
You have very good points, I'll stay the course and keep improving myself and my life. If she wants to get back together or even talk she will have to message me. And if she doesn't take contact, well then thats how it is..And I agree with you, I was really shocked when I heard that she had let go of her responsibilites like that - considering she was really responsible before the breakup. I am afraid our breakup kinda destroyed her, and I feel bad for that. But I'll stay the course and hope she contacts me sometime. Thanks for the replies man
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>>18357494
If the break up destroyed her didnt she initiate the break up? She needs to learn to deal with the consequences.
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>>18357217
That sucks anon. I just broke up with my gf of 4 years too two months ago.

I wouldn't initiate contact; she doesn't want to make contact, if you intervene she'll get mad at you. Like the other anons said, let her come back to you.

That being said though, 6 months? She probably already had post break up sex to get over you. I say that because your ex gf sounds like my ex gf; stubborn gf who has difficulty taking blame and probably never apologizes; impulsive body "art." Yours got a new tattoo sleeve, mine got a new piercing. I don't to kick while you're down, but just prepared that it might be the case.
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>>18357833
Yeah I am thinking that is the case aswell, but if the post break up sex worked for her or not I will not know. Considering her mental and physical state now..anyways sucks for you too anon, breaking up with someone after so many years is really really tough. I'll be prepared for her moving on and continue not initiating contact, life is strange
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>>18357217
Realistically I don't think it'd be a great idea to initiate unless you've been through an honest and realistic grieving period. Google "stages of grief" or "stages of breakup" to make sure you aren't just making desperate mistakes.

If you care about your best interest and mental health I suggest this, but of course if you're REALLY REALLY in the mood to satisfy your short term go-with-the-flow motives then screw that up.
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Take her out to lunch to get a feel for things unless she was using you financially tell her to kick rocks... either way try nutting down her throat
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>>18357217
>gained alot of weight

Dodged a bullet.

Don't initiate contact, move on.
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>>18357217
>she has been incredibly depressed and gained alot of weight, quit her job and isnt working much anymore since the breakup.
Don't get back with her man. She left you, it's her own fault. If she wants you back, she can contact you. Don't be pathetic.
Thread posts: 13
Thread images: 1


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