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>27 >resident at hospital >first real gf, lose virginity

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>27
>resident at hospital
>first real gf, lose virginity to her, she doesn't know
>she's a cute indian girl
>be white christian
>dating for 6 months
>say we love each other 2 months in
>she's already talking about getting serious

the red flags i need advice on
>her family is super indian and hindu, i've been told by her and all her cousins and sister that i met that they're going to hate me for the first few months / years
>already hate her mother who is hideous and all i do is hear her yell on the phone and make demands out of gf
>she's a hindu vegetarian, i feel like if we settled down I'd never have a wife to actually cook me dinner
>hindu, would never convert (fine), would want our kids hindu or to practice both that and christianity (not fine, already made jokes about not having baptisms)
>she has a bunch of guy friends, kissed one of them on new years when we were already hooking up for a few weeks before we were dating

idk what to do, first real gf, my first lay, so i dont wanna rush into something like an idiot but i also really love her. the red flags are what really scare me

this is like life changing shit and i dont wanna talk to anyone else about it so i figured i'd go to /adv/

sincere thanks for any help
>>
>>18356454
oh, just put the resident thing in there because we're both residents
>>
>>18356454
pls halp, i know its a lot to read but im at a loss
>>
>she's a hindu vegetarian, i feel like if we settled down I'd never have a wife to actually cook me dinner
>hindu, would never convert (fine), would want our kids hindu or to practice both that and christianity (not fine, already made jokes about not having baptisms)

These would be the two biggest things for me. By far. Being able to sit and properly enjoy a family meal together that we'd all enjoy... I just... no way.

And the kids? Fuck THAT. Raise 'em to know both religions and make their choice. That's fucking not cool shitting on baptism either.

Nah, OP, this is destined to fail. There's nothing wrong with sticking with this girl through residency as a support structure, but do not marry her.
>>
Love is blind. What I hear is that you already know this isn't going to work because deep down it isn't what you want. While it's easy to look past these differences now it will get harder as time moves on especially once kids are involved. As hard d as it is to give up your first love it will be much harder to live a life you hate with a wife you resent because your kids are being raised differently than you wish. Break it off now. You found one person it'll be easier the next time to find another one.
>>
Oh also, OP, *everyone* fucks during residency. It's like a tradition. Even before they let women be doctors, the residents always fucked the nurses. It's more a rite of passage than an actual place to get married.
>>
>>18356505
i've heard something similar so fair enough

>>18356489
>>18356497
damn, that hurts but thats what im thinking whenever i think about it logically

but then im with her and i feel some comfortable and happy, and happiness is something thats eluded me my entire life

thanks for the frank advice
>>
>>18356489
>There's nothing wrong with sticking with this girl through residency as a support structure, but do not marry her.
don't lead her on though
>>
>>18356497
>As hard d as it is to give up your first love it will be much harder to live a life you hate with a wife you resent because your kids are being raised differently than you wish. Break it off now.
this

6 months in this shit bugs you

60 years in... yeah...
>>
nigga as a guy in a hindu family i will tell you right now getting married is a bad idea find another kinda girl to settle down with
>>
>>18357272
yikes
>>
>>18357272
because of overbearing parents?
>>
Why do you want kids?
>>
>>18358001
because its the biological imperative
>>
>>18356454
Sounds okay except you have to reconcile the religious shit
>>
surprised no one commented on her kissing a 'guy friend'

red flag city
>>
>>18357981
yes.
You can get them off your backs but they will try to part of your life decisions and basically your entire life. Are they in the US? THey come as a package when u marry the chick
>>
>>18358056
yes they're in the US but we've been dating for 6 months and even she knows they're such a problem that she hasnt told them about me

which is fine for me because i dont want to meet them
>>
>>18358009
That's no reason, are you a mindless animal enslaved to instinct?
>>
>>18358064
>>18358064
nigga if she is wanting to get serious, how the fuck will you get serious without her parents knowing. Her parents sound very controlling (99% of indian parents are). They care more about what other relatives think and stuff. WHen they meet you, they will ask you about kids and stuff right off the bat if they decide to accept you

t.indian
>>
>>18358069
her cousin is getting married to some white dude soon

she had been dating him for a year, introduced him to her parents who freaked out at her, told her how big of a mistake it was, and then dropped it and pretended they were never made aware of the white devil.

took 5 years to accept him or some shit. i dont even mind much cuz not having to deal with them would be great for me
>>
You are blinded by your first anon even though you werent official the nu years kiss is a giant red flag if she was the one that wouldnt have happened.

t.asked the slut i lost it to to be my gf and see her posting pics with other guys going to hotel parties.
>>
Don't marry the girl you lose your virginity to.

After you sleep with one additional person you'll reason the bond you had wasn't particularly special. It just feels that way because sex is a very intimate thing.
>>
>>18356454

None of those read like red flags to me. Even the kiss isn't one; if you ain't dating you ain't got no rights.

You might hate your inlaws. Welcome to everyone else's life!

Y'all should keep dating. Reality has a way of sorting good relationships from bad, especially ones as new as yours.
>>
One of you is going to have to convert, especially if marriage and kids come into the picture. You said you hooked up before you were dating so that means th girl is not someone who takes relationships seriously anyway.

Personally I think this relationship is not strong enough to overcome those incompatibilities.
>>
>>18358708
>One of you is going to have to convert
Why
>>
>she's a hindu vegetarian, i feel like if we settled down I'd never have a wife to actually cook me dinner

you've obviously never had good indian food
Thread posts: 27
Thread images: 1


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