I fucking hate this world. I don't want to wake up in the

Bumping because I feel the same way.

I've searched the answer for 10 years and I still haven't found it.

>>18355137
>not even my parents
i'm not sure why the idea that parents are suppsed to understand their kids is so widespread. maybe it comes from childhood or something where we relied on them for everything. parents never have and never will understand their kids, it's extremely exceptional when they do. stop expecting them to understand you as a given, when the opposite is true.

you'll find people who understand you, but nobody is ever going to care as much about how you feel as you do. it's just not their problem and there's nothing they can do about it.

You should probably go to a doctor.

I think what you need affection and compassion. Or am I wrong? Because I had felt that way too for years before I met someone who understands me completely, I feel pretty lucky about that.

Could it be the case for you? I mean, you seem not be listened to from what you said.

>>18355207
I've told my parents what I feel right in their faces.
The most that came out of their mouths was "hush, that sounds so stupid, find a hobby". Fucking cunts, I have a dozen hobbies and they know.

>nobody is ever going to care as much about how you feel as you do
I know. I just want to finally feel relief when we exchange sorrows and whatnot. I feel none. My mind just becomes numb towards those feelings for some time and then it comes all back. Like a drug addict on hunger giving in. Every single time at that.

>>18355209
No, I don't want to go to somebody that is just going to listen to me because I paid him off and then list me what he thinks are my problems.
I don't need a doctor. I need relief.

>>18355218
I actually have a lot of friends due to my natural charisma and ability to find myself at home in the crowd (thanks dad, you fucking cunt), and among them there are a few people that actually want to talk to me about life problems. I didn't even prompt them for it. They just stuck to me like bugs and opened up towards me, so I used that opportunity to be honest about myself as well.
They are the type of people that do actually care about bad shit happening in somebody else's life because they went through a lot of shit themselves.
It's just that I don't feel satisfaction from doing it. I feel like "okay, I said XYZ, but I still feel the same about it".

>I think what you need affection and compassion
I don't know man. I had girlfriends before. It was nice, but those feelings were parallel to my hatred, they didn't make it go away.

>>18355240
Mmh, what causes all the anger in the first place? Is it something you are not able to change?

>>18355250
I feel disgusted by the world around me, even though I live in a rural area full of nice views and calm nature, and I seldom go to the city.

I can't exactly pinpoint what the direct cause is, but I feel disgusted by people in general. I also feel angry at myself for being such a blank state deep inside, because I don't really love anyone nor anything in life. Existing pisses me off, because it's the same shit every single day and I've got too much time to think about life, which is just fueling the issue, because when I start thinking about shit, the negative stuff pops up into my mind and I get angry. Once I got pissed off enough that way to rip a door out in my house and wreck a steel and stone fence in my yard.
And it's adding up everyday, I can feel it. I don't go back, I just go further down the rabbit hole and feel greater disdain for the existence of the world.

Also, I know this all sounds edgy as fuck, but it's just how I feel.

>>18355283
Sounds like you might just be really stressed and tired from routine. Have you thought about just ditching it all and starting new somewhere else?

just become a mountain man

As a thirty-nine year old who's been through it—drugs, depression, the deaths of everyone around me—experience has led me to the conclusion that the only way to get out of my head is to be of service to others and to crush my own terrified ego at every chance. Might sound fluffy, but this is where you arrive if you are to survive your anger and disorder.

You stupid jerks. Try not having any parents at all . Try not having a roof to sleep under you stupid jerk. Either get laid or get hi. Life isn't fair you stupid frog

Anger comes from expectations not met, either by yourself or others. You need to sit down (possibly with the help of someone wise) and figure out what your expectations are, how they aren't being met, and if they're even reasonable to begin with. Then you need to find a way to release this anger through mindful and determined forgiveness.

Why do you need to do this? Because long term unresolved anger will ruin your sense of wellbeing, your physical health and your relationships with loved ones and people you don't even know. I speak from experience because unresolved anger has ruined my social life like a wildfire. You owe it to yourself and the people you love to deal with this.

>>18355292
>you might just be really stressed and tired from routine
While I don't think it's the source, routine is certainly part of the problem, I think, because I feel bored to hell and back when doing the usual stuff. Especially when doing something outside, on nature's lap.

>Have you thought about just ditching it all and starting new somewhere else?
I thought about it. The hard work that my ancestors, my relatives and I put into our family and its wealth is holding me back.
Also, despite not being able to understand me, my parents really care about me and my safety, especially my mother.
However, I can ditch everything. I can leave all that hard work behind. I'm just wondering it it'll fix anything.

>>18355326
Huh, that's interesting.
I'd think that I have no expectations at this point. I had relationships, I am known in social circles, I helped people, I am satisfied with the way I look, I think I'm strong enough for the things I do in life, I have a few talents, a few hobbies, I had sex, I could fulfill my fetishes.
I don't really expect much from people nowadays, because I think that they're rotten animals. Towards the world? I don't know, I never had any expectations towards the world.

>>18355302
This is what I do as well. It works