I think I might have borderline personality disorder (the avoidant

>>18153539
so, that's not a thing. BPD is a thing, and avoidant personality disorder is a thing. They can be comorbid.

There is also a /proposed/(as in not universally accepted subtype (of four subtypes) that has avoidant features, but isn't itself called "avoidant type."

with BPD there's basically nothing they can do, IDK why they even try to treat those people.

Either way your best bet would be to go to a therapist for a few sessions to at least get a diagnosis. They're going to know a fucking lot more than you.

>>18153539
Go to therapy, definitely! Seek help! I know is hard as I myself happen to have both avoidant PD and OCD, but if you don't do anything about it, it can ruin your life. For real. Meds can help a little bit and talking therapy with the right person will help you much more than you think.

>>18153550
well the thing is that i seem to fit both diagnosis. the avoiding people and potentially embarrassing situations is something that has defined my life for a long ass time, and so is craving intimacy/connecting to people while also being terrified of it.

Yet at the same time I also experience the huge mood swings and the "I love this person" to "I hate this person" swings hard.

I'm bipolar and therapy and meds have been both the best and worst things in my life.
Best because it gave my stability and clarity. I could finally hop on the train with everybody else and, especially due to my tolerance of stressors that nobody else around me dealt with, excel beyond them.

Worst because it does genuinely feel like I've been heavily robbed of myself. I don't feel like I'm "me" anymore, that uniqueness is gone.

Pick and choose.

>>18153768
Still, I'd see a therapist. It's not going to be as bad as you think; you definitely have an inaccurate understanding of what therapy is.